Starting chemo January 2009?

Y of the Hat.  Yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooo! done. 

HI Jewels:  My port is out!!!  Took longer than I thought  30+ minutes.  I guess there is alot of fibrous tissue that forms around it that had to be cut away -- then he cut the sutures and out it came.  I kept it.  Hope to find a nice gemstone and have a jeweler make a pendant out of it -- my badge of courage!   12 of 30 rads done.  Have bench butt form sitting in the car 3-4 hours a day ..... have a three day break with the Holiday weekend.

Patti and Phyllis:  still with you --- you;ll get there and you you will feel better soon after.

YearoftheHat:  CONGRATULATIONS -- YIPPEE YAHOO!!   Welcome the the other side!  Hope your final round SEs are few! 

Eva:  Seems the taxanes (taxol and taxotere) cause muscle fatigue.  I did ok until my last round.. then it felt like all my muscles were short and tight.  I;m 5 weeks out form chemo and it;s finally better.... still need a good stretch in the morning,

Diane: I have a friend who is many years out of colon cancer and has been encouraging me to attend a cancer support group with him.   I am reluctant to attend....I'm not a "share your feelings in a large group of strangers" kind of person -- although I do think about attending a breast cancer group - there is one in the city I get rads the first Tuesday of every month.   If it is like the support and understnding of this board, then it would be a good thing and maybe a safe place to "visit"' being a cancer survivor once a month -- as to get on with life the rest of the time... 

KM47: Thanks for the info on the Chillow.  Sounds perfect as i seems flash more at night..

BerkleyKim: The back of my arm is numb too.   Every once in a while I get sharp "pins and needles" like feelings. thnk that means some of the feeling is coming back.. Two of my radiation techs have gone through bc and said it took about a year to get that feeling back. Nice to know it returns.

Jewels, enjoy this holiday weekend.

Brenda: took my taste buds about 3 weeks, my ability to smell about 6, at 3 months out the neuropathy still there, but showing signs of trying to improve

YearoftheHat -congrats on finishing!!!  Sorry there are some other stresses around your house... put yourself first is all I have to say about that.... if there was ever a time to put yourself first... it's now....

Kathy... woohoo on the port removal!  I never had a port but I can only imagine your relief to have it out... wear it as a pendant.. too funny!

Patti - I had the gene test (BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene test).    My mom, 2 of her sisters, a cousin had BC so strong family history here but it came back negative, thankfully.  It was $3600, insurance paid for $2400, now they are appealing the balance and told me if that doesn't work they have some grants that may take care of it.  I wonder if they plan on coming after me for the $1200....if all else fails.... time will tell..... but anyway, glad it was negative and glad I didn't have to tell my sisters, etc. it was positive... I'm sure they are worried enough as it is..... I think it is a good tool... but I also think there are genes not yet identified that are responsible for bc... because my family history with bc is strong and it was negative?  Hmmmmmmm

Hope everyone has a great long weekend! 

Jess, hope it goes well.  Think they could be a little more creative with those tatoos, don't you?

Kt57 - thanks for being here.  I did not have a port either but can only imagine the relief of having it gone.  Congratulations on another step forward to the other side of this nightmare

Yearofthehat - I can only add my two cents to what others have said and think that it is a time when you MUST take care of yourself first.  Thank God you are done and will not have to rely on BF's sister to take you to tx anymore.  That should be a big sourse of stress gone.  There is nothing more annoying to me than adult men who act like children.  Don't know you or him so I am not passing judgement on you but my eldest daughter went through a relationship with one of those types - married him - divorced him two years later and paid off $10,000 in MARITAL DEBT after the divorce because he claimed it was not marital debt because all of the credit was in her name. Of course it was he could not quality for credit if his life depended on it as he was a nonworking fulltime student while she supported him.   I am just a little bitter about the whole thing so I'll stop here I could go on for hours.  Well anyway beware! She was only 19 when she got married.  She is 25 now and wiser for the experience I think.

Holbot - Thanks for the feedback on the Gene testing.  Seems it was the right thing for you to do, but I get the feeling it did not really reassure you much as far as reoccurrence  goes is that correct?  I was thinking if I did not do it I would never know if it was positive or negative and would continue to worry, but if it is going to come back negative and I am still going to worry is it worth it?  Has anyone else done the testing, what were the results and did it help at all to know one way or the other?

 Jess - the nail thing is annoying for sure.  I have lost toe nail on both baby toes.  And I am in the process of losing the nail on one of my thumbs.  Besides being really ugly the thumb one is pretty painful especially if I hit in on something by accident so I can only imagine how having you toe stomped on must have felt.  I am avoiding sandals right now even though it is that time of year because my toes are so ugly and I am afraid to have pedicure done.  I had pedicures done regularly before dx so I am acutely aware of not having one.  How vain can I get?

Well have a busy day today.  Lots off stuff to do for school as next week if my LAST week!!!  Horray! Horray!  I am going to miss my students but I am glad the last three tx will be done after I am out of school and I do not have to worry about whether or not SEs are going to make me miss work.  

Have great Memorial Day weekend.  Love you all.

Patti

holtbolt - thanks for the story on the gene testing.  I believe my insurance will cover itsimply because it is related to my cancer.  I want to have it done so that all my blood relatives know if it's floating around.  As far as the procedure, isn't it just a blood test? 

Patti - I know little about it, really.  I already had a bilateral mast so I have no worries there.  Why remove a single ovary?  I need to read up on it today.  I believe genetic counseling is where they do a whole family tree of your families bc history.  I know of only two cases in mine, my sister and a great aunt.  How are your legs with the Taxol?  Mine are very tight and stiff.  I didn't take anything for WBC during taxol.  My blood counts were nowehere near low enough to warrant a delay so I was lucky there.  Try not worry about the mammogram.  

Kim - sorry to hear you were upset about the upcoming mammogram.  You should be feeling a little better by now having finished up last week.  I am so glad to be on the other side now too!

Thanks for those who commented about my stresses. This isn't the forum for the discussion but I ranted.  I was weirdly moodly yesterday with finishing chemo, the rads issue coming up, etc.  I have little to do with 'sister-in-law' and neither does BF.  She in non-functional in life so was available to take me, and was very willing.  He and I have been together 2 yrs...not worried about getting burned, I know where he stands in the nitty gritty ways and he's established in a good field.  Just wish he were a little futher along emotionally.  He's willing to talk about my illness but really has done little that required direct involment and has not put me first enough as far as everyday matters.  It's his and my issue and I won't settle for this as is but it's a lot of work in the meantime.  

Kathy - Yeah, on your port removal!  Your getting closer to your normal life again.   

Well, I can't go back to earlier posts without losing what I've written.  I slept in and will get up and out now.  The coffee shop idea sound wonderful.  I am much better today.  My survival is much more important than my boobs!

Hope everyone is doing OK.

Nancy     

Patti - whoops, I got that wrong on the price/insurance of the gene test... I mixed it up with the Oncotype test (onco test was $3,800, insurance. covered $2600.. not sure who will be paying the $1200 left... hope it's not me.. that damn onco score of 22 is the reason I had chemo... I will always hate the number 22 now....last thing I want to do is pay $1200 for the thing that sent me to chemo)...

I guess my insurance covered ALL of the gene test because I've never been billed for that.  I think ddlatt's right it was around $3,000.  So many tests.. getting them confused...and my memory is not what it used to be...  In any event... YES, I am glad I did the BRCA1/BRCA2 gene test (yes, just a blood test)... it was the right thing to do I think because I have a huge extended family with many maternal females and 2 sisters, etc.   If you test positive, there is a significant elevated risk for ovarian cancer as well as breast cancer.  Does it help with my recurrence fears, not really but If I could have helped any relative avoid this whole nightmare I wanted to do that... luckily mine came back negative so I did not have to make those phone calls...   I didn't think twice about having it done.. and my surgeon had a very direct conversation with me and pretty much told me it was the right thing to do (almost my duty) considering the family history, that I could save many lives if it came back positive ... just by sharing the info about the elevated risks.... they would all have a head's up and maybe be more proactive in regards to mammos, MRI's, maybe not ignore symptoms (breast and ovarian), etc...... and we all know how important early detection is in all of this....

So... yeah, I had a bilat and I'll be removing my ovaries in the fall anyway (since my tumor(s) was strongly ER/PR pos)... in the end the gene test had no effect on my treatment (or really my recurrence fears) but I'm glad I did it for everybody else...

Wow, that was a ramble.. I'm going to go outside and trim some bushes in 80 degree weather... I bought some fake eyelashes out of desperation.... I'm sick of looking sick... does anyone wear these... do they stay on? lol. 

Year of the Hat---A BIG HOOOOOORAYYYY!!! Sorry the company wasn't better--but never again! Hope your bf's foot is better. YOU come first right now, so do just what you feel you can do. These last 2 txs were harder on me, and I didn't have trouble with my hands til after this last tx. I'm just saying you don't know what might pop up even after the last tx. Good luck with further radiation discussion--what a shock at this point.

KT57--Yeah!! Your port's out. I can't wait. I guess I'll have to be patient, though, on the arm numbness.

Went for a long walk yesterday to celebrate 1 week post-chemo. Overdid it again I think. Had lunch today with a friend and had some salad. Came home with terrible "runs." First time I had salad out--too soon to risk it I guess.

I've been thinking about genetic testing, but I don't think I have the BRCA gene. My grandma on my dad's side died of bc, and my dad had prostate cancer. My brother had throat cancer, and an uncle had kidney. So I know I have some kind of susceptible or weak genes--but I don't know what good it would be to know unless there's some kind of targeted therapy. The BRCA is different, though.

Jess, it isn't vain.  I did find the looks I received showed me I thought about my appearance more then I thought I did.  To me, though, the bald thing was more about the association it had with being sick.  Wanted it gone, and hated the reminder.  Sometimes other's reactions to it are just too much to handle too.

I've recovered from my Montezuma's revenge. Could have been the carrot juice and not the salad.

Jess--asparagus is supposed to be "anti-cancer" Maybe is maybe isn't--but I LOVE asparagus this time of year especially! Can't wait until I can have a big salad without fear. I've been eating lettuce I've grown in my garden with no tummy problems.

kmmd--I agree about the cancer/sick association.  Sometimes I feel like people are passing judgment on me (what did I do to cause this???), but that's just projection of course!

HEY JEWELS--Anyone get a rash on hands and wrists post Taxol or taxotere?  I have little bumps--not red but itchy and my skin seems a little swollen.

Thanks for all the feedback on gene testing.  I think I will do it.  I feel I should for my daughter's but not sure what I will do with the info if it is positive.  Anyway will be looking into that after chemo and rads.  My husband retires june 1st and our insurance is about to change from active duty military to retired military so I am not sure how much that changes what is covered and what is not for me.  So far most everything has been covered.  I know we have to go back and meet copays and caps again starting June 1 and I have no idea how much that will be.  I will have three chemos in June under new insurance and I am not even sure how much a treatment costs.  Oh well I try not to worry too much about the $$$  They can't get blood out of a stone and I don't think they'll stop my treatment  at this point.

SEs are pretty bad this week.  I have not left the couch all day just because walking is sooooo painful.  Treatment on Thurs. Friday not bad went to work, Sat. not bad then today it hit.  Steroid crash and bone/muscle pain all over.  Glad it is a long weekend as I'll have tomorrow to get done what I am not getting done today. (Hopefully).  One of the things that drives me nuts is never knowing for sure how I am going to feel from one day to the next.  Guess it is better than before when the AC or Taxotere was being done and I KNEW I was going to feel like crap.

Jess - Not vain.  I have been avoiding social functions too if at all possible. I just do not like the why I feel so self-conscious when out among people.  I usually wore wig to social events.  That is about the only time I wear it because it is so uncomfortable.  Most people that I do not know or haven't seen in a while do not know about the bc and I've had a couple of people say my hair was "different" or some such comment and it always make me feel awkward. Anyway parties are suppose to be fun so if you don't think it will be don't go but it might be nice to go out and pretend life is normal again.

Salad - how I crave a good salad... I have been  using packaged lettuce without any trouble but a really good Chicken of Salmon salad sounds heavenly.

Well even though I sit here alone as the DH has take the kids to a movie I am enjoying the quiet and my long weekend.  Hope you all are too.  

Patti 

Hello January Jewells.  I am up early to take my 11th grade daughter to her parade.  Two more years and then she is off to college.  That means two more parades to go!  I will probably continue to attend the parades during this important day, but not all four of the little ones that go to each local town.  We typically follow the bus.  It has been interesting to watch the group since 6th grade. 

Hello all.  We are now back from the memorial parade.  I guess this year is my daughter's last time she will march in the parade.  I am so glad I went along.  I was able to get lots of pictures.

Hi Jewels!

Patti--Sorry you're in so much pain this weekend. Hope it passes quickly. AND--forgot to congratulate you and dh on his retirement, and thank him for his service (ALO--and to your husband too). Good luck with the health insurance. That's truly something we shouldn't have to worry about.

Jess--the parade was one of those bittersweet moments I guess, especially after you found out your dd wouldn't be marching again. They grow up so fast...

Lisa--I remember those sports weekends with 3 kids playing soccer or baseball or both. Loved it, but don't really miss it (don't tell my kids).

Catching up on work this weekend---endless, but I have some publishing projects due and also the end of the school year busyness. The sun finally came out--has been foggy-cold all weekend. Maybe I'll be able to get out.