first chemo done

Jill -- Thank you for the info on genetic testing.  Now I know why I wasn't tested.  That said I did visit my ob/gyn because I read somewhere that if a family member (no degree listed) had breast cancer and your father had prostate cancer your chance of ovarian cancer increased dramatically.  When I had my hysterechtomy back in '03 the ovaries were left in.  So since my aunt had breast cancer and my dad had/has prostate cancer and my mother's mother had cancer of all internal organs I'm scheduled to have an ultrasound and a blood test for CA-125 (a predictor of ovarian cancer when levels rise above normal).  So more minor worries but at least I'm on chemo so if there was any traces or the ovaries where thinking about it the cells are being killed.

As for my port:  once I knew I'd have tx of herceptin for a year I decided my port and I were going to become best friends.  Normally I don't notice it all but sometimes when I first get to bed I have to find the correct position.  It's the tail of the mouse not the mouse itself that causes a momentary sharp pain like being pricked with a pin.

Hi Ladies...

Hello Deb, Jill, Shannon and the rest who pop in...how is everyone?

Hi Deb...way too funny...You know I never thought of that...one view vs the other....you will be all good once this is all behind you.  Will you need any more aspiration?

Or will it go away by itself?

I had RAD #4 today...it was a non event...although there was a guy tech who I never saw before...well he got introduced to my winky....

29 more to go.....

Hi Ladies...

Shannon...your mom will get better as each day passes...its weird but I have forgotten what the SEs from chemo were all about...

Radiation so far is good.  It really doesn't feel like anything.  It is more of an inconvenience...meaning that I have to stop what I am doing to go at the same exact time each day for rads. 

I check in with a computer card...then sit and grab a magazine and wait for my name to be called over the intercom.  When called I go to a room where there are dressing rooms and lockers...I grab a gown..take off bra and top...put on gown..place personal items in the locker and lock then take the key with me to a room where there is a large machine and a long bed that had my own mold on it.  I lay down put my arm above my head in the mold and then the techs measure with beamed lights on my markings of tattoos. After measuring with the lights down and the beams on my body...they say "looks good - don't move" and leave the room -close the leaded door and then the maching twirls a few times and then I hear a long beep about 3 to 4 times.  Then the tech comes in and changes the machine to the other side and measures and then again leaves the room and the machine does its thing.  All in all it takes about 10 to 15 minutes.  I had number 5 today...and now 28 to go!!!!

Hi Cindy -

Yep.. sure has been quiet in here.  Things have been really busy here.  I had to work from my house yesterday just to get some work done (believe it or not).  I cannot even concentrate at work without someone asking me for something every 5 minutes.   But then still had to take a supplier to dinner last night anyway.   Seems like it never ends.

Hubby is out of town right now, so between work and kid stuff, have hardly had time for much of anything. 

I go for my stress test tomorrow early and the cardiologist will read it in real time.  I am thinking all will be OK.   The chest stuff has really lightened up.   If all is OK, I will go back to herceptin next week.  

Glad radiation is treating you well.   It did not get too dicey for me until about week 4.   So, you got a bit yet before the skin stuff kicks in, and maybe won't be so bad for you if your skin is darker anyway.

Shannon - Hope your mom is doing better now.   I am just glad she is past this first milestone.

Well.. back to the grind.  Talk to you all later !

Jill  

Good Evening Ladies,

 It has been a little quiet, I guess we're all busy with life (thank God!).

 Well, I FINALLY got my results from the SLN Biopsy, and.........negative - yipppee!  Even my surgeon said, "Finally, some good news!".  I'm sort of hoping that, as far as risk factors go, this kind of balances out the triple negative status.  I will be starting Chemo next Tuesday - 4 rounds of A/C then 4 rounds of Taxol.   Although I'm not looking forward to the yucky side effects, I am definitely looking forward to getting treatment started.  It feels like for the past month all I"ve done was test, after test after scan - finally, I can move along to treating this disease.  Any tips or hints from you chemo vets out there, bring 'em on!  I can use all the help I can get! 

DEB:  Hope the swelling is going down and you are feeling better.

CRUISE:  I'm glad the rads are going well.  Does this mean it's the home stretch for you?

SHANNON:  I hope your mom is feeling better now. I think the sick feeling should only last a couple of days, but what do I know, I haven't even had one treatment yet, but that is what they are telling me.

 JILL:  Great time for a stress test - when you're under so much stress at work and home.  Try to relax before you go. 

Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

Janet

Geri, hope you are feeling better now!  What a bummer, to have to be stuck in the hospital on top of everything else.  You're being perfectly positive!! 

Jill, good luck today on the stress test - I'm glad the chest pressure has lessened up for you - and I'll be praying for good results.

Janet, congrats on the test results - that had to have put your mind at ease.  As far as chemo hints, I'm probably the worst person to ask because I had all kinds of weird, not-often-seen side effects (plus, you are on a different regimine than I was).  Best I can offer is gatoraide is a good substitute for water, when the water either tastes funny or you are tired of it.  I was gulping it down during my last round, because even water wasn't appealing.  Bland foods seem to go down easier too - your tastebuds get all messed up, and things that might have tasted good before chemo (and in between treatments) just don't work - I was a big fan of mac and cheese, saltine crackers, pudding (like vanilla and rice pudding), white rice with chicken gravy, and for some reason, chicken - like Boars Head deli chicken, or chicken w/broccoli and cheese).  Coffee didn't work during treatment either, I could only drink tea.  If you are getting Neulasta shots, a lot of us had good luck taking claritan or another over-the-counter daytime allergy pill - for some reason, it minimized or eliminated bone pain.

Deb, are you still providing double views?  that is hysterical, but also sorry that you are dealing with such swelling!!  Hope it's doing better now.

Chelev, nope it's still swelled.....I had a red mark right under where she put the drain in, and the whole area on the breast (at the end) was red...I showed this to the surgeon, she told me on the breast was due to the dye they injected and to just watch the red mark by where the drain was, if it got any bigger to come back....So it's still swelled, still red in both places although it hasn't gotten any bigger...ya gotta wonder if this is normal, I mean my surgery was April 21st! I would have thought at least it would be normal sized by now.

On a diff subject, I read where you were taking Estratest too..I had been on it since 1994 when I had the hysto....started out using HS, then went to full strength a couple of years ago...my docs think also that it is what caused the BC.  Shame we can't prove it, I swear I would sue them. No one told me about Breast Cancer risks, only risks of heart attack and stroke. Which during all that time I knew my heart was healthy so I wasn't worried about that....

Oh well, take care hon!

Hugs!

Glad to see that nearly every one sounds pretty darn good.  I am done with all treatment and so don't check in here as often as I probably should.  This site saved my life back when I was in the heat of the battle.  Now just learning to live with Tamoxifen and my new life.  Radiation is a drag at the end because of the skin stuff....but so much easier than chemo I know you all will make it.  Keep your spirits up!!!  Kristi

Hello everyone !

Got lots to say tonight.   First.. happy Memorial Day week-end to everyone !

Next... in regard to my stress test..... well, good news and strange news.  The good news is that I am good to go in terms of re-starting herceptin !  The cardiologist says my heart looks great - pictures look fine, ventricles working like they should, valves look great, etc.  The strange news is that while the "pictures look fine", the eco had some "abnormalities" (he is calling it "equivocal").   Says they see these types of things in "women" a lot.  I asked him if it could be hormonally related.  He says (and I quote)... "could be, we don't know".   Hmmm... says something about the state of women's cardiac care ?    Bottom line for me, however, is that I am cleared to start treatment again.   I go to the GI doc next week to check out that angle.  Sigh.. 

The other part is that I am feeling a little smug, because evidently, I soundly beat the average in terms of lasting on the treadmill for a woman my age.   And honestly, I could have gone on longer (was not such a big deal) - they stopped me about a minute after reaching my target heart rate.   I thought... not too bad for a woman who has been cut up, poisoned and zapped.    I have always been somewhat athletic.  I guess that is paying off now. 

Anyway, got another story for you all tonight... I was in a meeting today with the CEO of another company.  It was a pretty intense part of the meeting when my phone goes off (hubby is out of town).  It was my daughter.  I say, "I am in a meeting right now", to which she says "Mom.. it's urgent.. and absolute emergency".  I am thinking something really bad has happened.  I ask what is wrong to which my (teen age) daughter replies, "The cat dragged in a chipmunk into the house.  It is dead in the living room. There are guts all over the place".     Now.. my daughter is hysterical on the phone and talking loud.  My business cohorts hear all of this and are laughing so hard they are practically crying.  I tell her that I can't exactly take care of the chipmunk from work and to put a towel over it or something.  My daughter replies she is not going near it.   Anyway, I finally get off the phone at which time the CEO says... "You made my day.  I am glad I am not the only Mom who gets those types of calls".  Turns out this CEO also has a 15 year old daughter.    I leave work after the meeting, get the chipmunk out of the living room, and clean the carpet. For the record, there were not "guts all over the place".  The cat is exceedingly proud of himself.   Crisis averted. 

Finally, welcome to Laura to the thread !   Like she said, we have been talking for about a week or so as our cases are eerily similar.   The part I can vouch for is the "big goofball" part.   Anyway, as we have been talking already, I will let some of the other ladies weigh in as to their chemo experiences.  

Janet - Wonderful news on the Biopsy. 

Geri - Damn lady.. when you do something, you do it right, don't you?  I really hope you are doing better tonight.

Kristi - Great to see you here, gal !  I will answer your PM shortly.  Nice to hear from you.

Have a great Friday all !

Jill

Jill - thanks for sharing that story - I literally choked on my coffee as I was reading it!  That is so funny!!  I can relate - my daughter was about 12 or 13 at the time, years ago, when I was in the middle of a presentation for the company I was working for at the time.  This was to our entire management network, so about 150 people in the convention hall.  My cell phone, which is on the podium and which I forgot to put on silence, is ringing.  I try to ignore it and keep talking about the marketing program I put together for them.  Finally, someone says, "Go ahead, answer it!", so I sheepishly run over and pick it up.  It's my daughter, home for the afternoon, taking a shower because she had PE class.  She's shrieking on the phone to me that there is a LIZARD in the shower and she doesn't know what to do.  We live in Florida, these lizards are small, but to her, it was the size of a dragon.  I had a cordless mike pinned to my blouse, so of course, everyone can hear her.  They are all laughing as she's freaking out on the phone.  I told her to just wait until her father got home to get rid of it, but she's telling me, "Mom, I can't go back in and turn the shower off."  She just ran out of the bathroom with the water running.  We are on city water and pay for every drop.  I'm trying to reason with her to get her to turn the water off, I can't run back there, I'm in St. Louis.  It was a very trying phone call, coaxing her back into the bathroom to turn off the shower, regain my composure, quiet the room, because everyone is laughing and restart the program. Jill, your daughter's call just brought all of that back - and I'm laughing again now.  Thank you!!

And, so so glad your heart tests were normal!!!  Good luck with the GI testing - hope all is negative there, or if not, at least that solves the problems of the chest pains.

Geri - hope you are feeling better!!

Cindy - have a great weekend away!

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=115

It's a story called "Squirrel Cop."  Okay, it's a police officer, not a fireman; but fire does figure into the story.  I'll leave it at that. 

I realize that this is totally off topic, except that it's hysterically funny and laughter is good for you... 

Hello Ladies,

Cruise:  Sounds like you have a fun weekend.  Every so often when you write something about the weather or what you are doing, I REALLY want to get to California!  Sounds fabulous!

Kaidog:  I too am going to go chemo shopping this weekend.  I was told that I could have diarrhea or constipation, plus a litany of other side effects.  I'm sure whatever I get, I still need more, but I guess what DH is for! 

Jill:  Your story was too funny.  Isn't life with kids just so dog gone fun!  It's what keeps us going (and laughing)!

Geri:  So glad that you are feeling better.  I know what you mean about the Internet searches.  I have found that if I spend too much time "surfing" I can become depressed.  I have to find a balance between "informed" and "Obsessive" when it comes to information.  I will be starting my A/C treatments on Tuesday, I can't wait to get it started so that I can get it finished, but at the same time, not looking forward to the SE. 

Chelev:  I know exactly the lizards you mean.  My mom has a place in Stuart, Florida and those little guys are all over the place. 

Deb:  When you you lost your nail, did you lose them from the beds?  I can't even imagine!   I mean it makes sense because the drugs attack all rapidly growing cells, but honestly, does it have to take everything from our heads to our toenails!  YUCK! 

 Did everyone on A/C have that happen? 

Well, I'm off to Target to do my shopping!  Goodbye friends,

Janet

Janet...come on and visit us....as I mentioned we have friends who live in Grove City PA...not sure how far from you they are...and they love it here too.  They also have a place in New Mexico...SNOW BIRDS....is what they are called.  LOL

Ladies !

Good morning to you all.   OK... I am in quasi-philosophical mode this morning brought on by the this conversation between chelev and Deb.   So...you have fair warning.  Move on to the next post if you don't want to be exposed to my ramblings on this topic.   I need to assemble a thought. 

I have been on this board a long time and have seen a lot of the coulda, woulda, shoulda... did I bring this on myself kind of thing.   OR... what on earth singled me out to get this nasty disease?  Did I tempt fate?  Did I piss off a greater entity ?  What combination of circumstances assembled such that I ended up with this thing ?

Well... the first thing I think about when I read this line of thinking is that there is a tinge of "I did something to DESERVE this" in some of the posts I see.   And I have to admit, that line of thinking makes me see red a bit.  No one DESERVES this.  Why must we blame ourselves?  After all, we are the victims - and why blame the victim.   We did not bring this upon ourselves and I have to believe that. 

The second thing I always think is that... well, hell.. I did so much crazy ass stuff to my body in my late teens and early twenties, it is a wonder I am not dead yet anyway.  So... already did my bit on tempting fate.   Maybe it has caught up, maybe it hasn't.  But, either way, I can't undo what was done.   So, why agonize over it now as there is not one thing I can do about it.   It was fun while it lasted.  :-)  

That said, I do believe that things happen for a reason - whether they be genetic, enviornmental, or destiny brought on by greater circumstances.   Who is to say what is the bigger plan?   What I do know is that for better or for worse, my living through this is intricately woven into who I am now.   I feel different - and not all of it is bad.  I feel wiser, stronger, and more at peace with who I am and what I can do to make a difference in my life and those of others.   Was that part of the plan ?   Who knows.  But, it is an outcome.  So.. at this point I choose to look forward knowing that we acquired strength from the past - and even from this bumpy journey that none of asked to be on. 

That is my two cents on that.

Jill