Accountability in a police state.

Nancy - I quite agree with you.  I have never hit that button.  I am confused enough so I sure am not going to be some self-proclaimed judge.  I thought "deleted by community" meant everyone got together and reported it to the moderators but if it is nothing more than someone hitting the button 5 or 6 times that needs to change.

What is obscene is censoring any woman with breast cancer's right to express themselves.

I was banned too. I just got released from the principle's office today.

I have a bilateral mx (no recon) which was done 7 months ago. Since then, I have changed from a happy positive person to a depressed, self loathing, person with major anger issues. I struggle every day to find some emotional peace. I still can't hardly say the word "cancer" without getting a lump in my throat. I have not been able to handle my issues with grace, I have had a difficult time.

I got on the thread "not for the easily offended". It was raw emotion. The poster was releasing her anger. It was therapeutic for me. I released my anger and spelled all the letters in the F word. So I guess some of the church ladies were offended even though they were warned about the thread from the title. I was banned for 10 days.

I am on this site everyday and I can't believe that the church ladies would have so little compassion for someone like me or the others that were banned for saying "F Cancer". Cancer has had a huge negative impact on my life as I am sure it has for everyone else.

After I got banned, I searched to see if there were other posts were the word was spelled out. There were over 300 posts and 12 pages where the word was totally spelled out. I truly do not understand why I was banned and would really appreciate it if the persons that had me banned would explain it to me either on this thread or in a private message.

Does this remind  you of the high school lunch room?   One table for the jocks, one for the cheer leaders, one for the nerds, one for the ugly Betty's   ....   you know....   

You don't know that it was the "church" ladies who pressed the button ... I've read at the inspirational section and they don't seem prudish to me. 

Sige.  Like I said on another thread * You look fantastic.   Have a great time on your trip.

Now for my two cents gently into this on going banning problem.

There is one person who came on the boards one night in March using one of her numerous alias and clicked away like crazy banning me for posts that were so generic it was ridiculous.  Others were also hit and banned.  The moderators took a look and reinstated me immediately.  It was a blatant use of carpel report this post affliction.  This person is banned on this board for reasons that are obvious to many but is always reincarnating under alias.  She is here now under an alias.

It all began with a certain thread that she didn't like and was banned from by the moderators. So her rally was to sweep in here in the night and ban many of us from that thread.   This person apparently is revered by those who don't know the many sides of her personality.  Let's just say it is a me me me genre.

This on going problem of people banning people is horrible on a site like this where we all need support and a shoulder to lean on and to offer our support to others who are going through such horrid times with this beast called cancer.

I too believe that when a poster clicks the Report button it should show their name.  What a cleaning house of phantom bullies is would clear out. 

PiP thanks for starting this thread.  Maybe it will help.  We can only hope. In the mean time we need to all be writing to Melissa and Tami with this constant banning mess.   If enough of us write to them and voice our disgust maybe they can get the powers that run this site to change the reporting posts problem.

The banners know who they are. They ride under the radar.  How they reincarnate so many times is beyond me but they do.  One in particular who knows exactly who she is and so do most of us here.

I can't believe all the people who have had to deal with this grade school mentality by grown women. 

Power to the big girl panties. 

Jader-

Sorry, didn't mean to offend. When I said "church ladies" I meant the holier-than-thou type. I wasn't trying to dis anyones religion. I guess that I just always call the holier-than-thou type "church ladies". Anyway, that is the type of person I was referring to. My bad.

Prettyinpink, yes I receive an automated email from the mods telling me that I'm banned.  First I get an email telling me that one of my posts have been removed.  the "deleted" post is in that email.  I have saved most of them if not all of them.  At first I was put on restriction.  Then when my posts were being "reported" again I was banned.  After your ban is lifted you can only post five posts in a 24 hour period..this is one of them..LOL  SO, I'll make it a long posts (just kidding).  Also, if you're banned too much you can lose your rights to post here.  You cannot sign on when you're banned, therefore if someone PMs you you cannot get to that PM and respond.

I don't know if the mods read all the "reported" posts because many of mine did not break any rules as far as I could tell.  I had one gal..the one who sent me the "threatening" PMs...tell me that I was not welcomed to post on one particular thread.  I will tell you what thread that was...a political thread where democrats posted.  If one gave a view or tried to "educate" anyone (especially me..LOL) on that particular thread you were called ignorant, a troll, toxic, a drama queen, negative, "ignore the troll" (a favorite saying by the author of the thread). The very funny part was is that the author of the thread wouldn't come out with HER "attack" gloves on, but her "followers" would...LIKE..you're not welcome here.  She conveniently used a "softer tactic."  HOWEVER, if one came over to our (republican thread) we didn't tell them they were not welcome.  We'd converse with them.

Now, I realize politics can be very heated and we can be very passionate.  I am very passionate. And so were the ladies on the other thread. I won't get into that here.  But, one can be mature enough to simply not read my posts if they don't like me.  One of my posts was deleted because I posted a YouTube of Wintely Phipps singing Amazing Grace at the Inaugural Prayer Breakfast in case some of the posters on the democrat thread had not seen him on TV.  I would like you to hear him so I'll post it here too.

Solo by Wintely Phipps at Inaugural Prayer Breakfast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLdeDWm8B8k

I also posted this...I can't remember exactly now.  But Wintely Phipps described the history of this song which brings me to tears.  But, when I posted what the author who posted this YouTube said I was being called names...and told by the author of the thread to "ignore" and I believe I was once again called "negative."  However, somewhere on that thread I had post/s deleted.

Amazing Grace History/"Amazing Grace" By Wintely Phipps

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMF_24cQqT0&feature=related

The author of the video on the history of Amazing Grace Hoover400:

NOTE TO ALL VIEWERS: many of you have misunderstood what he said. He did NOT say an african american wrote the words to amazing grace. He never argued that John Newton was not an englishmen, so stop pointing it out! He just said that John Newton was a slave trader and he was. Most of you are so concentrated on black and white, you are missing the point of the whole video!! He is trying to send out a message that God intended for all of us to be united. Weather you agree with the details or not, the message he is trying to send is a good one. So lighten up and take the hint!!

When I posted this video, I had absolutely no idea how popular it would become.

Anyone who thinks my intention is to "misinform" or to show any disregard to any race or culture obviously knows nothing about me.

This is a great video, and I love wintley phipps and so I decided to share. I did not expect it to be so huge!!

Of course we all agree that John Newton was in fact a slave trader. Thats the whole point. GRACE. That God can change the hardest of hearts within time if they'll listen. All the other stuff, is just stuff.

As far as not posting most of the ones that try to "correct" his views, it was simply to not cause a riot, the few times I have posted negative comments it caused a big debate between that person and my subscribers and especially considering this video has become so popular and so many people watch it, I wanted to avoid a big, long debate. That's it. So please dont be unkind to me and make allegations about my intentions to my subscribers when you are 100% percent wrong about me. I am anything but racist and I dont see how me posting this video would make me a racist, me posting this video means that i'm for unity between races. I have gotten into big long arguements with people multiple times because they made a racist remark. I am the opposite of racist. So please stop saying that because it's just not true and it hurts my feelings.

I shouldn't have posted all of this, because I don't want to cause problems.  But some of us were not "heard."  We'd protest, but most of the time to no avail.  And, one of the women on the Republican thread was BANNED FOR LIFE and she had NEVER even been put on restriction.  Then, our beloved "male" was BANNED FOR LIFE and his wife has stage IV cancer..IBC.  He couldn't get to his PMs to tell the women what happened.  They shared many, many things with each other.  He is absolutely wonderful.  The good news..he was unbanned.  But our other "bc sister" was never unbanned, and I still do not understand.  I've questioned, but no answers  However, I'd see others still posting that broke rules i.e. misusing the "report this post" button and other things.

Well, the post was long afterall.  Sorry.  This is only part of what's going on here.  It's unfair.  We who have bc do like to discuss other things besides bc.  It gets our minds off of our problems.  It's like therapy...like the Fashion Thread..or the Mojo Thread..any thread.  Did it get heated?  Absolutely.  But now that's resolved..the threads are gone.  And I predicted that's exactly what would happen.  This was probably TMI.

Shirley

I didn't realize there was a third page!  Geez!  I'm losing it.

Alpal, you don't HAVE to agree with me politically.  That's what makes this country so great.  That's why we still have the right to vote.  That's why wars have been fought.  I do realize that I can be very, very passionate, but I will try to respect others opinions.  Since the political threads are down we don't have to worry about that debate..LOL I just want to say, thank you.

kmmd............I'M BAAAAAAAACK!  Sure some would rather I not be.

Jader, I haven't decided whether or not I'll post the PMs.  But they will be going to the mods.

I LOVE the "Bitch" thread...OOPS, am I allowed to use the "B" word?    I used to post there all the time.  I need to spend some time there again.

Hi'ya Beesie!

Sige, I LOVE the Big Girl Panty cartoon.  I think I should make a copy and put it on my fridge for all to see INCLUDING me!

Baywatcher, I just want to say how very badly I feel for you.  And yes, the "F" word is used quite loosely here.  I've even slipped up now and then..maybe not on the threads...but VOICED it when I get really angry.  MY BAD!  What I really feel badly about is that you have the anger still "there."  I hope you can work through this.  I say come here and BITCH all you need to.  This is a disfiguring, scary disease. Good luck!

baywatcher, welcome back.  I can't believe that you were banned - I certainly haven't read all your posts but I've read lots of them and I've never seen anything offensive in them.  What I often see is your anger and your frustration, and gee - isn't that one of the things that this board should be here to help with?  The idea that women have been banned because they dared to use a few bad words when describing how they feel about breast cancer.... honestly, it's beyond belief.

I've been on these boards for 3 1/2 years now.  We've always had the occasional squabble, but over the past 6 months, it's become different.  It's become like high school, with lots of different cliques, each conspiring against anyone who appears to be part of another clique that they don't like.  The social cliques run the place now.  That maybe would be okay if they restricted themselves to their special forums or one or two threads, but this has completely taken over the board.  How else could a thread in the Just Diagnosed forum be deleted because someone newly diagnosed is venting (and using bad language   !!!  ) about breast cancer.  Somewhere along the way we've forgotten that this is a discussion board where women who are going through a BC diagnosis or BC treatment come for help, advice and support.  What's so sad to me is that I've written the previous sentence - trying to remind people what this board is supposed to be all about - about a 1/2 dozen times over the past month or so.  Not many people seem to care about that anymore.  For me, it's the only reason why I come to this board and I feel less and less inclined to spend time here. 

This discussion has reminded me of something told to me after my husband died and I was VERY angry:   Depression is anger turned inward.    

I was told to get some eye protection (goggles or glasses), take a bucket or bowl of ice cubes, go outside and find a brick wall and smash the cubes against it.  Throw them as hard as you can.  I also "wrote" letters on the computer, printed them out, but never mailed them.  Eventually I burned them all.   

I went a bit further and took "his" dining room chair out the patio door, hefted it over a 4 foot cyclone fence and threw it down the 30 foot hillside into the neighbors yard.   Of course it smashed into a zillion pieces and that neighbor NEVER spoke to me after.    

In MY opinion, Anger is a normal reaction to this disease.  Who would ever "want" it or seek it out?   Unlike death, it is not pre ordained or inevitable - it just plain SUCKS. 

pip, I am allergic to egg whites, so never have eggs in my house.   A few years ago when I ran a senior citizen center, one lady made "dammit dolls" from scraps of material, and the intent was to smash the doll and yell DAMMIT.   I wish I had a pattern for them, but remember you needed to double stitch the seams.   A bit of yarn on the top for hair also.

dammit dolls.  Who would have thought.  I'd never heard of them but they go way back.  Nancy. Great idea.  ( My dh passed in 06.  Way to young ) I think I need a few of these dolls.

*

I got my act together and googled it, sahalie.  Thanks.  When I can get my fingers working, I will make a cardboard pattern and start sewing some.   There is a poem that goes with it:

When you want to climb the wall

And Stand right up and shout,

There's a little Dammit doll

You cannot do without.

Just grasp it firmly by the legs,

And find a place to slam it.

And as yu whack the stuffing out

Yell:  Dammit, Dammit, Dammit.

There was one website that sells them for $10.99, plus $3 shipping... I could make half a dozen for that amount.   

LOL, sahalie.  I too laugh when I tell the story in person. I missed your post with the other poems.   One could print them on blank index cards, fold in half, punch a hole and attach with yarn. 

So very sorry you are also a widow.  My husband died 6 years ago in April.