Just diagnosed

Marie,

Welcome, sorry we had to meet this way.  My advise is to stay away from reading statistics and don't get overwhelmed with all of the information that the internet has to offer. 

I found that this is the best website to help with support and information.  Alot of people move on to post in the after treatment areas or with things that have nothing to do with the "C" word.

Others meet and chat on the live chat rooms instead of posting. 

I too am young, 35 at diagnosis, you also might want to try the young survivors site.  I personally prefer this one.  The best form of advice comes from those who have led the fight before us.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Good luck on your journey!

Hi Marie,

So sorry you had to join the club, but there are a lot of great women here in this club!  One thing you should keep in mind is that a lot of women do very well and then "move on" after a year or two -- it just means that they've gotten through treatment and back into their own lives, and are only dropping in here occasionally.  The same holds true for things like surgery and treatments -- since this is a place to ask about problems, you may see a lot of problems, but that doesn't reflect a true percentage -- those who had few problems are less likely to post "everything's just great." 

Once you get your pathology reports and a treatment plan in place, you will have more specific questions, and someone here will surely have had a similar experience and be able to advise you.  But for now, please know that a lot of women do very well with treatment.  This may be the hardest part -- having just gotten a diagnosis, but not knowing what's ahead of you.  Some women find anti-anxiety meds very helpful -- if you feel you need that, don't be afraid to ask.  For now I would say -- take care who you tell your news to -- you're not obliged to tell everyone, or anyone -- but do take the opportunity to lean on people you know to be steady and helpful!  But "tell" at your own pace. 

For your kids, you may want to tell them that doctors will need to help fix a part of your breast that is sick.  If you find out that you need to have chemo and/or radiation,  you may want to tell them that you need to take some strong medicine that may make you seem sicker for a little while, but it's really going to make you all better when it's done. There are lots and lots of mothers here who have been through this.

When you know what your treatment plan is, you may want to line up people in your life who can help out with housework, meals, picking the kids up from school.

But right now, your health is your project!  I'm going to look for a post from a very organized woman here with great advice about getting a three-ring binder to put ALL your medical records, reports, questions, appointments, etc. into.  I myself am not quite so organized, but I bought a big see-through pink (sorry, some people hate pink!!!!) plastic briefcase kind of  thing that I shoved all my medical info into -- I didn't know about this website at the time, but I knew I had to keep all that stuff in one place!  Some people recommend bringing someone with you to doctor visits, to help you remember what was said, and just for support.  Others suggest bringing a small tape or digital recorder, and asking the doctor if you can record the visit.  (I was lucky enough to have gracious, calm doctors who were very generous with their time.  One thing I always do for any kind of medical appointment is to write down any questions, concerns, random thoughts beforehand, and make SURE at the end of the visit that I have remembered to ask all of them.  For me, a small spiral notebook is good for this -- I can keep it with me and write down a question whenever it occurs to me.)

I know this is a very difficult time, but please know that you're not alone -- and that there are lots and lots of very good outcomes.

Hugs,

Ann

P.S.  I'm not from Canada, but your post was at the top of "Active Topics" and it just touched me...

Hi Marie,

I am sorry you have had to join this club, if it wasn't for the bc part this is a great club to join. I have found out so much information from these ladies, it has been wonderful.

You are right about the surreal part, I too am only 42. I was mistaken when I thought bc was an older ladies disease, but you read on this forum and there are some pretty young ladies, unfortunately the youngest seems to be a little 10 year old. I can only read her threads on certain days as it breaks my heart.

So where in Canada are you  and where are you having your treatments? As Ann has written get yourself a bag of some sort to hold all of your info. The cancer centre I went to gave us all a spiral book with places for important dates, appointments, business card holder , an area to write down questions and symptoms and also a place to journal. I keep this with my reports (yes do get a copy of all of your reports, you never know when one gets lost or that particular doc doesn't have a copy of something) and any other info I am given such as support sites and other services that are out there for you.

Waiting is hard, try to keep busy and get things in order for when you have surgery so that you can concentrate on your recovery. Be choosy who you let in your support group, just because they may be a close friend or family member, they may not be the kind of support you need. (I am still not talking to my in laws about anything medically related, try actually to not talk to them at all, they just don't get it and if I am the "dirty family secret" then I guess I don't need to tell them anything)Anyway, sorry not about me, its about you. Keep only those around you who are positive for you , no negative Nellies.

As for your children, be truthful without getting too technical or telling them too many what ifs, just as Ann said.

Lastly you talk about those people that have been diagnosed in the last couple of years, but where are the others, you only stay on this board as long as you need too. There are many ladies who have been around for a long time. Some of those I notice disappear from time to time but do eventually return to offer some advice to us newbies. Some of us just lurk and don't post too often.  That's the great thing about this board.

All the best to you.

Penny

Marie,

Welcome!  I'm one who was diagnosed over 3 years ago.  It's true that there aren't many of us old-timers around.  Most of the women who hang out here are either recently diagnosed, are still going through treatment, or are in the few months or year post-treatment.  After a while, most women who are no longer getting treated tend to move on and move away from this board.  While that's unfortunate in terms of losing the valuable experience of these women, it's usually a good sign for the women, since it means that breast cancer is no longer front and centre in their lives.  So to your question "what happened to all the other people? ", the answer is that for the most part, they are doing fine and don't feel a need to come here for support anymore.

Good luck as you go through all this; as you find out more about your diagnosis and as you go through your treatments, there will be lots of women here to offer support and advice from their own experience with the same treatments.

Hi Marie

Welcome to the club that no one wants to join and who can blame them!!  I was d/x this past January at the age of 40.  Not something that I wanted to hear a few days before my 41st B-Day!!  I had a really hard time in the beginning accepting that I had BC, and I still have days when it feels that I am living someone elses life.  It will get better - I promise you.  I have four treatments of chemo under my belt - two left to go.  It isn't so bad as one thinks.  (Not like you see on T.V!!)  They give you lots of drugs before, during and after to keep the nausea away.  You will feel like crap - and when you do, take a rest.  when you feel good, go for a walk or a drive, fresh air will make you feels so much better. 

I have learned so much about BC by coming to these boards.  This is the best source of information.  If you have a question, don't be scared to ask.  If you are having a crappy day, don't be scared to vent.  Nothing on this board is trivial.  Knowledge is Power.  Keep up the Fight - and remember - we are in the same boat together and we are all here for each other.

Hope you are feeling better.

Stay in touch

Hugs, Kim

Marie....Can you get a second opinion? The impt part is , you feel good about the deciison and that you know exactly what is being done and why.The more education you have for yourself the better. The partial masectomy would be done and then a total one after the surgery ? If not, having two surgeries is what you would have? Or is it maybe just a lumpecotomy? Being here will help, ask alot of questions and see what works best for you!

Healthy Thoughts,

Donna

Marie....Somehow, it does get easier as time goes by.It becomes more accepting as you see it is all a process and it takes one day at a time and one step at a time. Took me a very long time to believe I was now a cancer patient.. just so surreal for a very long time!!! The tiredness... totally had that and it is stress and in a way, think our bodies knows the disease is in us and when we are fighting against it all.. how can we not be tired!!Take naps and nuture yourself in spite of all that is goin on.Attitude is everything.Fear is  there but you can arrest it as time goes by!!! Keep us posted and hugs being sent!!Good luck Tuesday@!!!

Hugs,

Donna

Hello there:

on this long week-end

I am sorry you have a need to

be at this club

but there is much help and support available

I did TX at PMH

used to reside in Mtl

and if I can help

please do  not hesitate

to PM me.

Hugs and healing out to you

Take one day at a time

you will come through

I am at 9 years now..

and as an old timer

have many pals on the boards

and still pop in .. to help

Sierra

Hi Marie,

I had to send a quick reply before I head to bed! You asked where are all the people who were diagnosed more than 1-2 years ago. Well, I am one of those (3 1/2 now) and it is true that I am one of those out there living my life. When I was first diagnosed I was on this site every day - I was in shock and needed support and info and this was the very best place and a huge  help to me. Then as I got through treatment and tried to get somewhat back to normal, I found it was no good to be on here every day - that way I was always thinking about cancer. Right now I log on probably once every 10-14 days or even less often. It is how I try to get back to normal and I suspect that others are the same. It's not that we don't care about the new people though!! We know how that feels. I am sending big big hugs to Montreal from Newfoundland. I am looking forward to my 4 years soon!! Love Peggy xoxoxoxo

Marie seems like you have everything under control.These decisions are tough but if you trust your doctors you will get through this. I personally am 1yr3mth since dx.Finished txs only on Tamox.

YoYo I also had chemo first which in my case worked extremely well.  Mine was IDC  so your treatment could be different.Durring treatment check out the chemo threads I found them very useful.Good luck and godbless to you both.

I live here in Whitby but we have a  business and home in Montreal as well.How quick are they treating you in Quebec?

Hello Ladies,

I am also from Montreal.  I just had my excisional biopsy yesterday (I was diagnosed with LCIS/ADH) to make sure there is nothing else lurking in my breast.  I was told by the ONC nurse that it could take up to 4 weeks!!!!! to get my final pathology report.  I wasn't really able to ask the doctor after the operation what he thinks (but I am seeing him on Tuesday so I will ask him then).  DId you all have to wait so long for a final path report?