I love you baby. Say it more!

Hi, my name is cris, my wife/life Kerry was DX last month.........

The words the onc blurted out were wraped in barbed wire and smashed me right in the face, the very last thing we thought the lump was going to be was cancer. I have been with my wife, by her side, holding her hand and kissing her head since (to be honest nothings changed there we are very close).

I joined this site resently and have posted and read many posts, I have read many posts from husbands that love there parters very much but don't know what to do, and read post from wifes about there husbands that just don't seem to care.....the most heart breaking things i have read have been within the chat rooms talking to wifes, husband and careers, but the other night brought it all home. I was reading a chat between 3 discussing how crap there men are, with how they act around them and how they come out with stupid comments like "don't worry" and "it will be OK". Forgive me if i get this wrong but what are we to say and do. 

Maybe when BC is DX we should all read men are from mars and women are from venus. We are different...Men fix thing and this is one thing we can not fix. Woman care for things and right now they are the ones that need caring for. It takes time for some men to change from fixer to carer and its a very rocky learning curve. Give your partner and hubbys a little leeway. If you have the right partner in your life they will sort them selfs out and be there, but its like training a puppy if we get it wrong don't put on noses in it. I hope i speak for many. When i said them magic words "I DO" i meant it, and when i said"in sickness and health" I meant it...never throught this would happen but meant it never-the-less.....

The point i am trying to make is yes our partners have BC physivcally but we have it to in our hearts, for some, me included, just to think my wife is hurting angers me, make me wanna cry, make me want to get into a ring with cancer and bite its ear off! I would give every thing for my partner not to have cancer, my life and soul, hay i am a none believer but offered it the night we got DX, still waiting for an answer from the red man....

The only words i have found that have comfort to my Kerry and help to to sleep and wake in the mornings are..... get a pen ready......"I do love you baby"....followed by a kiss or cuddle, most of the time both.

There isnt much more hubby can do but be there for there partners.

One last thing my Kerry is at the begining of BC and going in for her next op on the 22nd, if there is anyine out there hubby, partner, or friend that would like a friend right now please get in touch, i know i could do with one.

Please read this in the manor its intended, me Cris hubby and daddy leting of some steem.

Hugs to all.