Average cost of funeral, etc..

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Fitztwins
Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969

I was just wondering if anyone has looked into how much it costs for a funeral, cremation, etc..

If I cash in my life insurance and party, I want to leave enough $$ to not leave a burden!

Thanks

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Comments

  • Fllorik
    Fllorik Member Posts: 1,351
    edited May 2009

    I was surprised by the costs especially the hidden ones.

    One space for my husband and I with opening and closing of the ground and vaults and markers came to $8,000.

    For me: Graveside service, no visitation, professional preparation (leaflets,chairs,tent etc.) plain casket came to $6,000.

    For my husband: Memorial service, flowers, chest, cremation and professional preparation came to $4,000.

    I understand that it changes from state to state but I was very surprised. Needless to say, we haven't done anything yet.

    Also, I didn't know this but everything has to be pre paid. The funeral home will work with the bank with payments. But I thought you just sign over your life insurance policy to the funeral home and that was it. No. Each cemetary/funeral home works differently. Might shop around a little.

    This was a definate eye opener for me!

    Another eye opener was that I put more money into retirement funds than life insurance. So when the market gets strong again, I guess I'll be cashing in retirement $ to pay for funeral.

    Have you looked into prices yet?

  • jeanne46
    jeanne46 Member Posts: 1,941
    edited May 2009

    If you're interested in cremation - I think the Neptune Society is worth checking into.  I've had two members of my family privately cremated, and I think it's more expensive that way.  Also, with the Neptune Society you can pre-pay (which is cheaper than choosing them after a death has occured).  One of the big issues with cremation is what you want done with your ashes.  That's the part that really hangs me up.  Creepy to think about, but something we probably all need to consider.

      

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited May 2009

    Unexpectedly, this really takes shopping around. We had a local funeral director that burried ANYONE. Even if their kids had to pay him $25 a week for years, he made arrangements.

    Cremation is cheapest, but can add up depending on where you want to keep the ashes----our spot will total around $2000 plus urns (ours are being made out of our foot & headboard LOL--spending eternity in the same bed we have always shared!!!)

    It all depends on what you want & how extravagant you want it to be.... Graveside, 2 day wake, luncheon, monument??? It all adds up. Some churches charge according to the number of ppl who attend!!!! I know a fair amount about this subject as I have friends who are funeral directors (my uncle was one. too) & I was a florist for over 30 years so I know the flowers can cost (NEVER order thru the funeral home but directly at the shop!)

    Ask questions---if I don't know the answer I'll try to find it, but things vary drastically from state to state! So I may not get the right answer for you...

    HUGS all--be well & stay strong

  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited May 2009

    Fitz, the article I posted the link to from LBBC has a lot of information about shopping around for funeral services.   I don't want much - my body will be taken for donation to the Cleveland Clinic for education and research, so that's no cost.  My church will do a small memorial service, at no charge, and so there's just food and a big ole balloon launch to pay for.  Oh, and booze.  Lots of liquor.  My ashes will come back after a while, when the Clinic has gotten all the use they can out of me, but all I want is to go into my kids gardens, or the compost pile.  Who gives a crap?  I'll be dead.

  • heatherpalmerton
    heatherpalmerton Member Posts: 2,247
    edited May 2009

    I think it's pretty sick what these funeral homes charge for every little thing. My father bought plots in a old cemetary in Jacksonville, OR When my mother past years ago.  I think he paid $450.00.  I will have made my own flyers, music, balloons, there will be a pot luck and I want them to play the raisin song, walkin down the grape vine.  I want everyone to make a chain and have a heck of a good time. Also working on a cd "power point. I will put all this into a hat box like someone else had mentioned a while ago. If I had the funeral place do it it would of been crazy expensive.  I know caskets rage in various prices. Today I delivered a casket spray and a huge beautiful arrangement to the funeral parlor. I brought it in and there lay this cute little Grandpa in a very beautiful pine casket. I wanted to know how much it was. I just didn't think it was appropriate to ask at that time.  I'm with you analemma I say party on and celebrate our lives. Heather

  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited May 2009

    My mom will have a fit...

    I think a small 'religious' ceremony. Cremation. Ashes? Don't care. No funeral home visitation. No big boo hoos...

    Then I want a Celebration of LIFE.  Party! music and booze! 

    It was me that suggested the box. Got one going. I am going to do my own slide show of me! lol

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited May 2009

    I agree with the "less is more" attitude! I have spent my life being frugal & searching for bargains---why would I pay those prices to do away with this earthly vessel???  No disrespect intended, but seems like gift-wrapping your trash!!!! I like the donation to science & party hearty plan!!!!

    Heather--are you a florist too????? Delivering funeral flowers is how I came to be friends with so many directors & learn about some of those outrageous charges!

    Hugs all--we ain't dead yet! LOL Be well & stay stong 

  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited May 2009

    Saint--"gift wrapping the trash!?"  Great expression.  I am learning a great deal from this this thread.  When I tried to talk to friends about this subject, i.e. specifying what kind of party I wanted, etc, they accused me of being a "control freak."  If you even bring up the subject, you don't have a postitive attitude and we all know what that means. 

    Sue

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited May 2009

    You are so right.  It is gift wrapping the trash.  But this trash wants a dappled maple above her.

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited May 2009

    in that case you ain't trash---you is compost!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Fllorik
    Fllorik Member Posts: 1,351
    edited May 2009

    The Neptune Society is only in certain places in the US. Unfortunately they are not in northern Florida.

  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited May 2009

    I've "stolen" my idea from one of my sisters friends. I am going to be cremated (Neptune Society is the cheapest here) so I want the cardboard container (the one they cremate in, no wooden box for me) decorated by my family and friends. I want my favorite music playing while they write notes, draw pictures and put silly stickers all over it. I'm having my ashes scattered at the shore of the beach where my husband and I got married. I can't swim, so I told my husband NOT to throw me into the ocean, but to let the waves gently take me out. Prices greatly vary so shop around...

    Linda

  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited May 2009

    My mother died in March.  I went with my father to make the arrangements.  They had originally decided to use the Neptune Society, but my dad felt that we would get better service elsewhere and he wanted to have a memorial service.  We went to a funeral home and arranged to have a service there and the total cost, including cremation, was just a little over $3,000.00, which included the fee for five death certificates, which the director said is the bare minimum you need.  They had a casket in the memorial area that was kept closed (she was not in it, though, and we did not have her emblamed.)  The funeral home was great - they helped us find a nice pastor as my parents were not active in a local church, etc.  The pastor charged $150.00.  Dad had to go out and purchase a niche at a local mausoleum, but I don't know what the cost of that was.  This was in northern California, so I thought the cost of the cremation and memorial service was pretty reasonable.

    There are other memorial societies that will give a discount cremation for as little as $1,000.00.  I am a member of one.  It costs $25.00 to join, and they will scatter the ashes for you if you wish.  Clarkhoward.com has an article on memorial societies and lists some of them, but I found my by googling.

    The one thing about being cremated that is really important is to make arrangements for what to do with your ashes ahead of time.  I've known people who ended up with the ashes of their loved one and it totally freaked them out.  They couldn't deal with it.

  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited May 2009

    Saint, I love it "giftwrapping the trash!"

    Susanna, you wanna talk contol freak?  I told my kids I was going to make a huge batch of enchiladas and freeze them for my funeral party.  I think it freaked them out a little, so I've backed off of that.

    Funny story I have to share, though, my very good friend has said that she'd like to help in any way possible to make a wonderful memorial for me, and she's great to talk to because this stuff doesn't put her off at all.  It's kind of an interest of hers, alternative funerals, green burials, etc.  But when she made that offer, she said, "I'll be happy to do anything you need me to, even if it's just helping in the kitchen and keeping folks fed."  I had to laugh out loud, because it sounded like she expected me to still be directing the show..... "Hey, so-and-so needs a drink..... can you start the dishwasher?....oops, someone spilled a drink, can you get that?"

  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited May 2009

    Analemma--Thanks for putting a big smile on my face.  Love the thought of the enchiladas.  

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited May 2009

    I,too, want a celebration of life instead of a funeral. I plan on doing a Power Point presentation as well! There are a lot of people who know me now who didn't know me then, and visa versa....

    I am picking the music with my husband and will ensure it will be a good time had by all. I want my ashes scattered from up high so I can fly at last.

  • DaughterMom
    DaughterMom Member Posts: 160
    edited May 2009

    When my father came to visit about three weeks ago, he popped into one of the funeral homes close by.  Did you ever notice that funeral homes are always located very close to seniors housing, and nursing homes?  At least that is how it is here, very odd.  Anyway, my dad just picked up some information for me to look at.  Mom wants to be cremated, then just a small service, no viewing or 2 day long wakes for her.  She wants her ashes buried with her MIL, (my late grandmother), not scattered.  So, we will  pick out an urn that is bio-degradable, and also inexpensive.  They have some beautiful ones made of paper, inlaid with flowers...looks like that handmade paper you sometimes see is gift shops.   We will do a church/graveside service where my grandmother is, then just head home for coffee, tea and probably lot's of food.  I know my aunties will cook up a storm.

  • heatherpalmerton
    heatherpalmerton Member Posts: 2,247
    edited May 2009

    Saint, Yes I am a florist I absolutely love it. I love it when I can make someone happy. Heather

  • WingsofHope
    WingsofHope Member Posts: 497
    edited May 2009

    Janis,



    Can you tell me about the hat box idea please & thank you.



    I want to get some things done while I am feeling good!

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited May 2009

    Heather  am a florist too,,,What a small world indeed!,,,,,,

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited May 2009

    I have been told that you should look for caskets from anywhere but  funeral home. Costco sells them as so do many websites.

  • Fllorik
    Fllorik Member Posts: 1,351
    edited May 2009

    caskets in Costco? How do you get it home? :)

  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited May 2009

    Hat box Idea:

    I have started a box. I contains all of my life insurance info and retirement $$. My Will. Household bills and how to pay them (I do the finances)

    It also have pictures of me that can be shared. I created 2 CDs of my favorite music. I have started a journal of how I want some of my things distributed. I also am recording what I want at my memorial/ celebration of life to be handle.

    So, in a nut shell, it is a box to collect things for our loved ones to go through (in one spot) once we have passed.

    Now, It is easier now to create this box, then to do it later.  I might even 'prepay' for services. I am sure my family will get a big kick out of this.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited May 2009

    I hear yah Fitz, my family is big on control too. After all, who can do our own funerals better than us?

  • WingsofHope
    WingsofHope Member Posts: 497
    edited May 2009

    COOL... I will get my "hat box" started......

  • heatherpalmerton
    heatherpalmerton Member Posts: 2,247
    edited May 2009

    Hi Janis, You are the one I got the hat box idea from. GREAT idea.  Also I didn't  know costco carried caskets, i will have to check that one out. 

  • denisela
    denisela Member Posts: 88
    edited May 2009

    It just so happens that I know this subject well . I sold life insurance for a living. As someone else stated its all in what you want . You can go 3,000. - 15,000. depends on the frills. You can prepay and most funeral homes will give you a discount. You can also pick out everything and have them take it out of your life insurance at any rate its good to shop around,

  • denisela
    denisela Member Posts: 88
    edited May 2009

    Another thought not to be creepy but I dont know if everyone knows about accellerated death benefits though your life insurqance company which alows you to take up to 65percent of the face value of your policy to use as you want only catch is you must have only 6-8 mos to live verified by a Dr,

  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited May 2009

    I remember there was a thread on taking accelerated death benefits on the Stage IV forum not too long ago.

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited May 2009

    You order the caskets from Costco.com. They can ship it right to the funeral home.

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