Caring for the Caregiver

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DaughterMom
DaughterMom Member Posts: 160
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

I read everywhere that first and foremost the caregiver has to care for themselves., I did not give this much thought.  I just said, yah yah, and flipped to the parts on how do I care for my mother.  But, now I understand.  It is so important to reach out and talk about your own feelings.  I found myself going through emotions that changed from fear, to angst, to happy, to sad, to anger, and back to fear in what seemed like a split second. I thought I was going to explode.  I am now talking regularly to our palliative care social worker and she is amazing.  She made me realize that yes, this is normal, and no, I am not going crazy.  I thought I was loosing my mind, and I started questioning my abilties.  So, for all caregivers out there, take care of your self.  Mentally, and physicall, get rest and and don't forget to eat.  Don't flip over the first chapter of the books that make the point of caring for yourself.  Very important!  Take Care, and God Bless.

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  • barbinar
    barbinar Member Posts: 8
    edited May 2009

    Thank you.  Well said.

    I actively fought cancer for 15 years and am now caregiver to my disabled dad.  I have been on both sides of the fence, and in many respects caregiving is harder than being the patient.  

    We can only properly value others when we properly value ourselves.  Sometimes the mechanics of doing what is best for ourselves as well as the one we care for can get a bit dicey.  That is when we call for help.  No one can be all things to all people all the time.

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  • BrilliantInCa
    BrilliantInCa Member Posts: 16
    edited May 2009

    Hmmm, don't forget to eat - if only I could stay off 'seafood' diet and not eat everything I see,ha ha

     I think problem for a lot of people, myself included, is that we do try to be everything to our loved ones and simply don't feel right about spending any time on ourself(including cooking nutritiously and not stopping by KFC almost every night)  Talking to others is extremely important!

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  • Kody
    Kody Member Posts: 1
    edited May 2009

    How...when...do you get over the shock? My mom just got the results that she has early stage breast cancer (at 5pm tonight). Shock is the only thing that comes to mind. How do I show her support?

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  • nim88
    nim88 Member Posts: 34
    edited May 2009

    Kody - she is likely to be in equal if not more shock than you. My wife has twice had early stage breast cancer and the best support is helping her understand what she has and why she is lucky that it was caught early. Do the research on what type and stage she has in these boards and on the internet. Do not necessarily believe everything you read but use it as a basis to develop questions for the team that will be looking after your mother - whether it be the breast surgeon, oncologist or just the GP. Apart from comforting her you will find that it will also help you understand this dreadful disease and how to get on top of it mentally. The most difficult time of any is right now unfortunately when you have just got the diagnosis but are going to be waiting for a while to figure out what the course of treatment is. Once the treatment decison has been made it gets a lot easier.

    Good luck to your Mom and you. 

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