Bilateral mx and professional conference

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Bilateral mx and professional conference

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  • MI_Runner
    MI_Runner Member Posts: 46
    edited May 2009

    Hi all,

    I had a bilateral mx on 5/11 and am attending a professional conference starting on 5/26.  I chose delayed reconstruction, so there's nothing there right now.  They gave me two foam prosthetics at the hosptial, but I feel like they give me Madonna boobs so I'm not a huge fan.  I haven't tried them in a bra yet, just stuck them in my tight tank top, but my sides are still so sore I'm not interested in putting a bra on right now.

    Any suggestions for things I could wear to the conference just flat-chested?  If I didn't have this little tummy pooch I could just claim the super lean athlete angle..but alas, I have it ;)

    Any suggestions would be welcomed.  I don't have much extra money but my mom offered to buy me one outfit to wear.

    Thanks!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2009

    First off, try shoulder pads instead of the prosthetics.  They look more natural. 

    I'd do a loose shirt, myself, and a nice pair of pants or a skirt.

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited May 2009

    MI-Runner, the "layered look" works pretty well for those situations.

    Maybe try a camisole for the innermost layer (something to cover your skin in lieu of a bra; with a knit top over that (a not-so-sheer knit shirt with sleeve length appropriate to climate and formality of the occasion); and then a jacket over the whole thing.

    I like to wear jackets unbuttoned, so there is some movement. Eyes are less likely to focus on my chest if the clothing over my chest is not sitting still.

    You can do this--it will be fine!  Some of the women who had bilateral mx and don't wear prostheses at all, will chime in pretty soon. You just had your surgery, so I can sure understand why you might not want to wear any kind of prosthesis yet.

    otter 

  • LisaAlissa
    LisaAlissa Member Posts: 1,092
    edited May 2009

    You could also add a scarf (tied long, for example), which would "fill-in," visually...A more textured scarf might be a good choice.



    LisaAlissa

  • nagem
    nagem Member Posts: 353
    edited May 2009

    I posted some tips on breastfree.org (under the heading Going Form-Free) that have been useful to me. In addition to what the others have mentioned here, you might try a crisp button-down shirt that stands away from your body or a shirt with a busy pattern so the eye can't focus on what's missing or a dark top that obscures the lack of shadows. Shawls and scarves help too. And earrings draw the eye from your chest to your face. I almost never wear foobs now. Just not comfortable for me. Good luck with your conference. I found that work really helped me keep my mind off my troubles.

  • MI_Runner
    MI_Runner Member Posts: 46
    edited May 2009

    Thanks ladies.

    Nagem - I agree that work really helps. I just finished up the first year of my PhD program; I was actually diagnosed two weeks before the end of the semester, and the crazy papers and exams gave me something else to focus on.

    I have to run out but will reply more later.  Thanks so much for the advice.

  • MI_Runner
    MI_Runner Member Posts: 46
    edited May 2009

    Ok, as I was saying.

    LisaAlissa, I like the idea of a scarf. I'm sort of fashion-challegened, but I have a friend who is good with these things, maybe she'll shop with me.

    Otter - the layered look is a good idea.  I have a brown jacket and a black jacket - those might come in handy.

    Kaidog - great idea about the shoulder pads!

  • PT6
    PT6 Member Posts: 76
    edited May 2009

    You might want to have a friend critically look at you in your chosen outfit. My sister had bilateral mx - does not wear a prosthesis and you really cannot  tell. I had a right mx 31 years ago and use a prosthesis. The darn tning is hot / uncomforatable and tends to shift giving me the uniboob look. I have developed DCIS in the remaining breast and will have a left mx in the sometime in the coming weeks.I am vacillating between immediate reconstruction and no reconstruction at all.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited May 2009

    I wear short jackets or cropped sweaters that are in fashion right now, thank goodness! I also wear busy tops to distract the eye. Nothing with a scooped or obvious cleavage neckline. From the front you can wonder.....does she or doesn't she (have boobs) and from the side, the jacket or sweater disallows any confirmation. I work in a very professional environment in front of different clients all day long. I'm so used to it now, that I think attitude is half the battle. Have fun!

  • hbcheryl
    hbcheryl Member Posts: 5,113
    edited May 2009

    I wear a lot of vests and they seem to work well.  Last week I bought a top from Dress Barn that is the best design I've found it has a band up by the neck and falls in folds so you can't tell I don't have a right boob.  I even found a dress at TJ Maxx that was the same design and my friend is cutting the bottom off so that I have another top.  Good luck.

  • Lovegolf
    Lovegolf Member Posts: 513
    edited May 2009

    I had bilateral 5/1 and am at first real business thing since then..today I worn a cup formed bra that I had cut one layer of fabric out of and stuffed....it look good but it was only comfortable for about 5hours.   I have found that realy soft mens or womens no sleeves undershirts are the best....I can wear these undershirt with crisp button front shirts and it is OK.  It feels good and with a blazer or jacket no one can really tell...when the skin heals more I may try something else,  but for now healing and feeling good is more important.  I must say today even when I was wearing just undershirt and shirt with blazer people who had not seen me for a year had no idea....Hope this helps

  • MI_Runner
    MI_Runner Member Posts: 46
    edited May 2009

    That does help, Lovegolf.  I'll probably only know maybe 30 of 4,500 people at this thing, so really no one will know what I used to look like.  I'm a week post-op now and really still don't want to put a bra on.  I'm not in pain, but my skin feels so sensitive to anything touching it, so I'm wearing really soft camis under everything.  I don't expect to feel differently about that next week, so I'll try the tips posted here.

  • pshelton
    pshelton Member Posts: 140
    edited May 2009

    Hi MI Runner, I'm wearing cami tops with the shelf bra and cardigans or zip up tops over and I button right where my chest is to hide it...hope that helps, Paula

  • MI_Runner
    MI_Runner Member Posts: 46
    edited May 2009

    pshelton - that's what I've been wearing, too.  It seems to be working well so far.

    I did a little shopping today and bought two tops that I thought were flattering.  I have a few others that should work well too, and layering is sort of my style anyway, so that's the plan.

    Thanks everyone, for your input.

  • Lovegolf
    Lovegolf Member Posts: 513
    edited May 2009

    Hey  I have gotten emails that say there is push for insurance co. to make Mx day surgery.  There is bill before Congress to require atleast 2 days to be covered by insurance.  I have written my Congressman Joh Barrow, who is supporting requiring up to 2 days to be covered.  Pass this along

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