Average cost of funeral, etc..

I was surprised by the costs especially the hidden ones.

One space for my husband and I with opening and closing of the ground and vaults and markers came to $8,000.

For me: Graveside service, no visitation, professional preparation (leaflets,chairs,tent etc.) plain casket came to $6,000.

For my husband: Memorial service, flowers, chest, cremation and professional preparation came to $4,000.

I understand that it changes from state to state but I was very surprised. Needless to say, we haven't done anything yet.

Also, I didn't know this but everything has to be pre paid. The funeral home will work with the bank with payments. But I thought you just sign over your life insurance policy to the funeral home and that was it. No. Each cemetary/funeral home works differently. Might shop around a little.

This was a definate eye opener for me!

Another eye opener was that I put more money into retirement funds than life insurance. So when the market gets strong again, I guess I'll be cashing in retirement $ to pay for funeral.

Have you looked into prices yet?

Unexpectedly, this really takes shopping around. We had a local funeral director that burried ANYONE. Even if their kids had to pay him $25 a week for years, he made arrangements.

Cremation is cheapest, but can add up depending on where you want to keep the ashes----our spot will total around $2000 plus urns (ours are being made out of our foot & headboard LOL--spending eternity in the same bed we have always shared!!!)

It all depends on what you want & how extravagant you want it to be.... Graveside, 2 day wake, luncheon, monument??? It all adds up. Some churches charge according to the number of ppl who attend!!!! I know a fair amount about this subject as I have friends who are funeral directors (my uncle was one. too) & I was a florist for over 30 years so I know the flowers can cost (NEVER order thru the funeral home but directly at the shop!)

Ask questions---if I don't know the answer I'll try to find it, but things vary drastically from state to state! So I may not get the right answer for you...

HUGS all--be well & stay strong

I think it's pretty sick what these funeral homes charge for every little thing. My father bought plots in a old cemetary in Jacksonville, OR When my mother past years ago.  I think he paid $450.00.  I will have made my own flyers, music, balloons, there will be a pot luck and I want them to play the raisin song, walkin down the grape vine.  I want everyone to make a chain and have a heck of a good time. Also working on a cd "power point. I will put all this into a hat box like someone else had mentioned a while ago. If I had the funeral place do it it would of been crazy expensive.  I know caskets rage in various prices. Today I delivered a casket spray and a huge beautiful arrangement to the funeral parlor. I brought it in and there lay this cute little Grandpa in a very beautiful pine casket. I wanted to know how much it was. I just didn't think it was appropriate to ask at that time.  I'm with you analemma I say party on and celebrate our lives. Heather

I agree with the "less is more" attitude! I have spent my life being frugal & searching for bargains---why would I pay those prices to do away with this earthly vessel???  No disrespect intended, but seems like gift-wrapping your trash!!!! I like the donation to science & party hearty plan!!!!

Heather--are you a florist too????? Delivering funeral flowers is how I came to be friends with so many directors & learn about some of those outrageous charges!

Hugs all--we ain't dead yet! LOL Be well & stay stong 

You are so right.  It is gift wrapping the trash.  But this trash wants a dappled maple above her.

The Neptune Society is only in certain places in the US. Unfortunately they are not in northern Florida.

My mother died in March.  I went with my father to make the arrangements.  They had originally decided to use the Neptune Society, but my dad felt that we would get better service elsewhere and he wanted to have a memorial service.  We went to a funeral home and arranged to have a service there and the total cost, including cremation, was just a little over $3,000.00, which included the fee for five death certificates, which the director said is the bare minimum you need.  They had a casket in the memorial area that was kept closed (she was not in it, though, and we did not have her emblamed.)  The funeral home was great - they helped us find a nice pastor as my parents were not active in a local church, etc.  The pastor charged $150.00.  Dad had to go out and purchase a niche at a local mausoleum, but I don't know what the cost of that was.  This was in northern California, so I thought the cost of the cremation and memorial service was pretty reasonable.

There are other memorial societies that will give a discount cremation for as little as $1,000.00.  I am a member of one.  It costs $25.00 to join, and they will scatter the ashes for you if you wish.  Clarkhoward.com has an article on memorial societies and lists some of them, but I found my by googling.

The one thing about being cremated that is really important is to make arrangements for what to do with your ashes ahead of time.  I've known people who ended up with the ashes of their loved one and it totally freaked them out.  They couldn't deal with it.

Analemma--Thanks for putting a big smile on my face.  Love the thought of the enchiladas.  

When my father came to visit about three weeks ago, he popped into one of the funeral homes close by.  Did you ever notice that funeral homes are always located very close to seniors housing, and nursing homes?  At least that is how it is here, very odd.  Anyway, my dad just picked up some information for me to look at.  Mom wants to be cremated, then just a small service, no viewing or 2 day long wakes for her.  She wants her ashes buried with her MIL, (my late grandmother), not scattered.  So, we will  pick out an urn that is bio-degradable, and also inexpensive.  They have some beautiful ones made of paper, inlaid with flowers...looks like that handmade paper you sometimes see is gift shops.   We will do a church/graveside service where my grandmother is, then just head home for coffee, tea and probably lot's of food.  I know my aunties will cook up a storm.

Janis,



Can you tell me about the hat box idea please & thank you.



I want to get some things done while I am feeling good!

I have been told that you should look for caskets from anywhere but  funeral home. Costco sells them as so do many websites.

COOL... I will get my "hat box" started......

It just so happens that I know this subject well . I sold life insurance for a living. As someone else stated its all in what you want . You can go 3,000. - 15,000. depends on the frills. You can prepay and most funeral homes will give you a discount. You can also pick out everything and have them take it out of your life insurance at any rate its good to shop around,

I remember there was a thread on taking accelerated death benefits on the Stage IV forum not too long ago.