MAY 2009 Rads

is anyone else having TomoTherapy radiation? i'm wondering what your simulation experience was like (did they make a cast of only your head or also your torso?) and if you get a CT scan before every radiation treatment, which is what i will be having. for those of you not having TomoTherapy radiation, do you have a CT scan before each radiation treatment? TomoTherapy is a new development in radiation, supposedly more precise, no need for markings on the skin, etc. (though i did have 3 tiny dot tattoos), but i'm not thrilled about the CT scan every single time before the actual radiation.

Good morning sisters - have a great day today!  I am feeling good again - just finished rad#8 this morning!  I too am using the Fruit of the Earth clear aloe gel, and a spray mist body deodorant from Naturally Fresh "honeydew melon" - it smells really nice.  Health/natural food stores are an excellent source for such items.  I put the aloe and deodorant on after each treatment, before I get redressed, and I put the aloe on before I go to bed too.  Blessings!!!!   You glow - I mean you GO girls!

Remember what cancer CAN NOT do:

It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit

{{HUGS}} Tammy. Congratulations on finishing radiation treatments! In their honor, you can be the survivor!

Hello all,

Princess...sorry to hear about the mugging incident...glad to hear everyone's OK

Puppers...glad to hear you're OK...

Maja and Jess...welcome...

Genia...good luck on the petscan...

Deb...sorry to hear about your friend...

Cruise...congrats on your first rad...yay for you...I was very anxious before my first rad...good luck with the mole biopsy...I'm sure it'll be alright...we just finished chemo for crying out loud...BTW, stop fighting with the damn cat...LOL...

Pringles and Ivorymom...I, too, have only three tattoos...

Chelev...I have the same mixed feelings about "the" machine...I had my 7^th treatment today and I still freeze up every time it starts to buzz...I get worried that it's not zapping the right places and the tech would forget to turn it off or what have you...was so glad to know that the tech and everybody else in the rad center have been doing these for over a decade...the tech looked so young...

DDlatt...I'm doing the conventional rad therapy and don't get CT scans every treatment...the tech did take a "picture" on the sixth treatment just to make sure everything is still "aligned"...supposedly, some people lose or gain significant weight during treatment that they have to make sure that no adjustments are needed...

Idaho...congrats on the last treatment...hang in there...

Lisalisa...congrats on the first treatment...

Take care everyone.

Hi, ladies.  I met with the rad onc nurse this afternoon right before tx #3, and we discussed some things that the doctor didn't mention - one of them is to stay out of the sun and not use sunscreen on or around the breast area being radiated - she said the sun can irritate the area more than it will be during later treatments, and the sunscreen can also be very irritating.  So, even though I'm in "sunny florida", I guess I'll be sitting under the umbrella when I'm outside, just like on chemo!  She said if I want to get any color on my arms or legs, to just stick them outside of the umbrella.  That was pretty funny.  Also, I asked about taking vitamins and supplements and she said to mainly stay away from Vitamin C and E, because they are antioxidants, and they will speed up cellular turnover, and right now, we want to keep the cells moving slowly so they can benefit from the cooking (my word) they are getting.

Cruise - I had an itchy nose on my first treatment and I was wriggling it around like Samantha on Bewitched, because they kept telling me to make sure I was still - it was funny, one of the techs came over and scratched my nose for me!!  The same thing with the simulation, I had one eye tearing up from allergies and the tech had to keep wiping the tears for me. 

Treatment #3 went okay - nothing weird or anything happening.

Onc's office told me to try a cortizone cream on the breakouts on my head - they hadn't really dealt with that too much either, so of course, because it's me with a weird side effect, they said if it doesn't clear up in a week, they'll prescribe something for me.  They also mentioned I should try not to keep my head covered, which is impossible during the day at work - I have to wear a wig or a hat or something, but the minute I'm in the car on the way home from the rads, off it comes!

That makes complete sense to me, and yes, I feel that guilt sometimes, too (my low oncotype score led us to a no-chemo decision, too).  I veer around:  from guilt, to relief, and then way over to second-guessing the decision and worrying that I'm not being "aggressive" enough.  And actually that leads to another flavor of guilt, too:  feeling guilty that I'm somehow being selfish (esp. vis-a-vis my kids) by choosing not to do chemo, that I'm wimping out and should be doing all I can for their sake.

Ah, but then I veer back to thinking no, chemo in my case isn't necessarily doing "all I can do" -- and really all I can do is to make what feels overall the right decision.  And this decision does (for most of the time!) feel right and wise, when I look at it from all angles and from my innermost heart.

And there I try to stay...at least until the next ride around The Emotional Rollercoaster.

I go in for zap #8 today.  Feeling tired and achy from it already...yikes.

Hoping everyone has a lovely weekend -- and a nice break from tx!

Lisa, yes it makes perfect sense to me!!  Almost like you "cheated" the system because you didn't need chemo.  I feel that way sometimes with some of my sisters who are still getting treatment or who did the full course of treatments.  I had to stop after two, because of the severe side effects and complications, and I feel like a chemo dropout sometimes!  But, I did lose my hair (well some of it, slowly slowly growing back, still look scary) with the two.  But, you are still going through radiation - which we now all are, and I probably should have just done too, given my Oncotype score, and that makes us all part of the breast cancer sisterhood / team / SURVIVORS!!!!

Hi Everyone!  Just read the posts for the last several days.Some of your issues are also mine.

Just finished my first 5 days of 25. Did fine days 1 through 4. Kept telling myself that this radiation, following all of the biopsies, mastectomy, emergency surgery for necrotic incsion lines and a 6 week chest wall infection, then chemo- was going to ensure my cure.I kept a positive attitude about that awful machine zapping me from all different directions with ionizing radiation. I told myself, like one of you suggested, that they are rays of sunshine healing me forever.

But today I had a meltdown right there in the radiation room.It was triggered when they suddenly told me that they do 3 films every Friday. Sounds silly when I know I'm getting 5000 rads already for treatment.But no one advised me in advance that they would take about 12 xrays at the verification simulation and 3 every Friday for a total of 27 more xrays!.Head tech had dosimatrist figure out the math and it turns out that I'm getting an additional 150 rads.

I guess I've had enough "surprises" in the last 8 months and I can't take anymore. So like you ivorymom, I cried on the table. When you think about it we are submitting ourselves to unbelievably grotesque treatments of all kinds to save our lives.But it's the best that modern medicine can do today.I hope in 20 or 30 years ( or less!) care givers will look back on the treatment cancer patients had in our era and see it as a dark ages in medicine. Many women used to die in childbirth- which is now so rare as to be considered malpractice.Now it's breast cancer that takes many of us away.. I hope that some day cancer will be prevented with a simple vaccination- like polio.Until then we will do what we have to to make it.I guess crying is OK.

Re: razor. I bought an Infiniti by Conair. I had some hair starting to return to axilla. But I became very inflamed after using it. So I'm not going to use it again until radiation is over.

My energy is an issue already. I enthusiastically rejoined my health club last week.Before my diagnosis I worked out 2 to 3 hours a day. After finished chemo have been walking on treadmill for several weeks and doing some light weights. Intended to stay on top of that scary threat of severe fatigue. I get shots Tuesdays and Thursdays to prevent scarring. The first one Tuesday made me sleepy and instead of stopping at the health club I came home and took a nap. The Thursday shot really did me in. I came home and slept all day. Felt good Monday and Wednesday but am depressed over fact that I am so tired already.This too shall pass, but ain't it a bear? 

Does anyone plan to watch the Farrah Fawcett special tonight? I don't. I'm afraid that I'll sit there, cry for her, and think I'm next ! 

Texas- sorry to hear about your lymphedema. I know there is a thread on the subject, which may be helpful.

Bold: can't believe its taking so long to get taste buds back. Isn't that taste just the worst?Glad your mammogram was normal. That is a sweet word isn't it?

lisalisa-your research study sounds interesting. It is good of you to do it for women of the future.

KM47: Welcome "aboard". I know- it's an awful pun on your travel/train analogy.I had to lighten up.

I hope everyone has a good weekend- at least we don't have to be radiated for 2 days! 

Bold, you are so right about all of us having a lot of life left, even if this illness has shocked us and made us consider our mortality.

Sometimes I feel twinges of survivors guilt.  Because I didn't need a mastectomy.  There are so many crazy emotions that swim around and through us aren't there.  My Mom had ER+ breast cancer 15 years ago.  It was caught early and she received a lumpectomy, radiation and no pills because of being over 60.  At least that's what they did at that time.  She is still going strong.  They caught mine really early to.  I was expecting the same as Mom only pills because I'm in my early 50's.  So, I was shocked and dismayed when I found out I was Triple negative and had to do chemo.  My BRACA was tested.  I was sure it was going to be positive and that I would need bilateral masectomies, but it was negative.  I sure had lots of mixed emotions about that.  It's crazy.  But, mostly I try to just be thankful.  It's hard to get past the fears at times.  It takes a bit of work but, we do what we can.

question, My doc doesn't do PET scans - - what are the pros/cons?

Let it out, ivorymom! Get it out of your system. But you also need to go outside and enjoy the nice weather I understand y'all are having up there right now. Soak up some of that sunshine, okay?

We refused to watch the Farrah Fawcett special too. Don't want to dwell on the "what ifs" because they've been driving me crazy lately.

I work from home, and for weeks the only people I've seen except my husband have been wearing scrubs or white coats. This weekend I'm getting out and among some "normal" people. Gotta keep the perspective or this can be overwhelming.

Princess K: I haven't asked about post-treatment scans. Hoping my doc orders a PET/CT because I don't trust mammograms. They didn't catch my cancer until it was already stage 3.