For the easily offended
I love cancer i really do
my figure is slimmer cause i hate to chew
my hair is all gone i don't have to brush
my mouth is all sore and coated with thrush.
i save on shampoo and leg shaving razors
i think that again i'll start wearing blazers
they'll hide the fact that my bust line is skewed.
i'll stick out my chest and try to delude
the masses who think i really got screwed.
they don't know how wonderful it can be
to know that breast
cancer is me.
.
.
(for the recently banned woman who spoke the truth)
edit..now unbanned.. YAY
Comments
-
-
Apple...
Your post is offending..don't you know there are children loged in?
-
Great poem and attitude.
Oooo Raaa
-
Love it!
Dx 8/2007, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
-
You go girlfriend!
But...I shouldn't have read it, I'm not easily offended...
-
Great poem, Apple!!!
-
I am with Barbe, not easily offended but loved the poem anyway! Tami
-
Golly gee willakers! I couldn't have said it better myself! Gosh darnit, I am tickled pink about having lost my breasts (oops, can I say that word?) too! Gee Beave, oh I mean Apple, you sure write well. You must be one terrific, supercalifragilistic gal !
-
Apple a simple kiss on the cheek is about all I can do to say thank you. As we all know hugs hurt for a while.You are the best!
-
Love the poem! I missed all the related "excitement," but your poem is awesome!
-
I think I have to borrow Sige's great smilie:
Your poem says it all, Apple! Including, of course, so much between the lines!
And I splattered a little more coffee laughing at REKoz's answer, too!
-
Glad I got directed to this thread!!!
Omg...Rekoz...you are so whitty!! I love it!!
Apple..again..your talents never end...thanks for the poem...I love it!!
Let's hope it doesn't get REPORTED!!! Cause...you NEVER know! lol
Lisa
-
Love the poem!
-
God will get you for that poem; he might give you breast cancer.
Whoops! I forgot there is a loving divine purpose for breast cancer and we have to trust him (must be a him, what female would wish BC on us) to show us his wisdom in creating BC.
Yes, this was written very tongue in cheek because the truth is CANCER SUCKS and the banned sister's original avatar said it all.
I don't expect this post to be around long.
-
Yay apple! Love the poem. Hope it's not offensive of me to say the word "love". Lord only know what people might think!!!!
-
-
apple ~ I'm sorry, but I will have to report your post because I didn't get offended.
I did laugh and laugh and laugh, though, and I find that offensive. Oh, wait, now do I report you or not?! I'm so confused!
Love from Artemis (P.S. Great poem!)
-
GREAT Poem! TOo Bad I am one of the NOT so easily offended!...Guess I should not have come here.......HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad the banned lady is back!.........And F********CANCER!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!
-
Such a talent. Write some more!
-
Lol, great peom!
-
Deborah aka Sybil - GLAD you're back. Just read this thread, sorry you had to deal with all the drama...we all have enough drama to deal with. Welcome back!
Apple - GREAT poem!
-
LOL Great job Apple but I'm offended, you said bust. My 2 yr old german shepherd was reading over my shoulder too! OMG he's going to grow up warped now for sure..........
-
Love the poem - must have missed the issue about banning..
There are several people on these threads that are very creatively poetic.
Anyone want to start a BC poetry thread?
-
wonderful.
-
Apple, dear Girl, you rock!!
-
Perfect, love it.
-
APPLE. * GREAT ! The poem is the best I've seen since 2006.
The neat thing is * It's the truth. I could add that Grape juice made a mint off of me since
it's the only thing I could drink.
Thank goodness I missed whatever banning. I was hit by the phantom banner March 22 and
had no clue why. Minor glitch.
Kudo's APPLE
-
What about how mashed potatoes (which I did love during chemo) really helped me fill out pants by increasing its size!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I thougth the poem was great. If we don't have a sense of sarcasm/laugh like crazy/make fun of ourselves, we will all go mad. I don't recall any of us asking to get cancer. I can't even mention Here, what all i joked on myself about, blue dye and all.
-
This thread gave me such a laugh. I thought it was the "other" thread and when I saw Apple's poem at the top I'm sitting here thinking how can she insert her own post at the top of someone else's thread? (DAHH) The chuckle feels good.............I shouldn't have read it either
and if I could actually READ I'd have seen it was a different thread.
GREAT POEM Apple.
Now I must go and get a cup of tea down and wake up a couple of brain cells.
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team