They let me back!

Debi, hugs to you.  Every picture I've seen of you is beautiful, and so expressive... 

So glad to see posts from you!!!

(((hugs))) [Oh -- I said that already -- but that's what I'm feeling -- sorry for repeating myself!!!]

Ann

I'm glad you're back Deb!!

Debi, welcome back. 

And I'm sending lots of cyber hugs your way - it's a good thing that they're cyber hugs because it sounds as though you're not physically ready for any real hugs just yet.  It will get better. 

(((Hugs)))

Debi - if you go to my website, you will find a pic of me after my bilateral...or you can try this link, http://skyratgina.vox.com/library/posts/tags/bilateral+mastectomy/ Which should have all the posts where bilateral is mentioned.  It was an eye opener and I am not satisfied with my incision, but more surgery to get a better appearance is not in my future.  Nor do I plan on reconstruction.  I no longer feel self conscious when I go out in public...I've found that few people bother to notice, and if they look, I am wearing the scars of cancer and proud to be still around to do it.  Hugs to you sister ... this path is not an easy one. 

Welcome back Debi! Hurrah!  Hurrah!

thank you for coming back.. i wrote a poem for you  (for the easily offended)

I had my bilateral on 4/1/09. My tummy sticks out too!

I don't mind being flat chested. I like the freedom of it.

Feel free to contact me if you need to vent, or want to ask any questions.

Laurie

Deb. I've been without breast for almost one year now (June 12). I Love the freedom!  After being a 40 D for most of my adult life it feels good not to worry about adjustments or the feel of tight bra straps.  I love going out, especially in the hot weather, in just a tank top.  My belly shows too now, but getting smaller with exercise.  I am not planning on recon nor have I been fitted for a prosthesis nor think I ever will.  All the best.

Debi,

     Thank God I was getting worried Glad to see you back. Did you get my PM anyways sent my numbers to you so us little F,ers can talk freely via the phone ha ha anyways had my surgery in Feb and had TE's placed however it looks like I have a couple little molehill type mountains minus the peaks and rock hard unreal barbies are softer not that I play with them ha ha.  Hey don't get down, give me a call and we can talk dirty you know about mud and such ha ha Nope seriously just trying mto cheer you up. I'm here if you need me.

Hugs My Friend,

Debbi the other evil Deb

Debi, my ribs just under where my breasts used to be seem to have a little bit extra fat. It is going down with time. I consider it ballast for when I had my breasts. I look and feel a lot slimmer now and clothes fit me a lot better. Now that it is warming up I love not having the weight! I am surprised, though, that I still sweat right about where my underwire used to sit! I thought that was always due to them all packed in a bra!

Now when I see women with their cumbersome breasts (not all women are large of course!) I actually feel badly for them. Then I just think "moo". 

Debi,

I've crammed 21 years worth of BC into 13 ... lol.  It takes time to heal, emotionally and physically.

I'm looking at a bilateral mast in the next few weeks (waiting for a sx date).  I used to love 'the girls', now not so much.  I'm finding it very hard to have an emotional attachment to body parts that are obviously trying to kill me.  At this point I don't know if reconstruction will be possible with all the rads damage I have.  Having 'sistered' a number of dear friends through their sx & tx, I pretty much know what to expect in the mx department.

I have friends who have been reconstructed and friends who have chosen not to go that route.  I was walking down a beach with a non-recon friend.  She took her shirt off.  I said ohhhh you're going to get us arrested.  She turned to me, laughed and said "Why?  They can't arrest us .. I ain't got no nips showing!!!"  If I have only a fraction of the strength and courage she has, I know I'll be just fine.  After all, I'm the girl who put a whole new slant on "mooning".  If someone pis*ed me off when I was in chemo, I simply 'flipped my lid".  It's pretty satisfying to watch someone get weak at the knees when you go from shoulder length hair to bald in a blink.

Right now you're angry ... piss*ed off to the supreme.  You have every right.  I felt the same.  We all find our own way to travel this path best we can.  One day I realized I had let BC take away my joy and replace it with anger and resentment.  I decided that moment that I would not give one more bit of my emotional/spiritual self to cancer.  I took every opportunity go give BC the big F U.  I always will.

When grieving any loss it is easy to get lost in the grief.  Been there.  I found what works for me is to allow myself ‘time' to grieve.  I allow myself 1 day of grief for every 1 year.  i.e. after my divorce ... 10 year marriage = 10 days grief.  10 days to get it all outta my system and move on.

You will find your own methods that work.  You're already doing it!  You said "I haven't had to adjust my breasts and lift them or have them get in the way in a week.  Going bra less may be wonderful."  You're moving forward.  And, in the interim if you need to drop the F Bomb ... go for it, and flip this freekin disease the double bird every time.  After all, we got cancer.  Cancer isn't politically correct so WhyTF should we be?

All the best, Blue

I missed all the excitement! Darn it!

Anyhow, Welcome Back!

I had one breast removed a few weeks ago. Even though I've gone on the net and looked through pics of mastectomies it was quite a shock to see the results on MY body.

Welcome back Deb we are all here for you.

Welcome back, Deb! Hugs to you!!!!

Since we are talking about breasts, specifically large ones, how in the world do little tiny people like Pam Anderson get boobs that large?  And there are those with even bigger ones?  How?