I can't get my act together and I don't know why

Oh well, I have to go, I promised, but will have to work on her to find someone to go... I cant go to all of her appointments..... my hubby would kill me, then who would go with her.....lol

Hello all.  As a long time breast cancer survivor (23 years next month) may I make a suggestion about life after cancer?

I lost one breast in 1986, mastectomy, chemo...

Lost the other in 1988, mastectomy, chemo, rads, tamoxifen for 7 yrs.

In 1996 was dx 3rd time... mets to ribs.

I lost my hubby to cancer....I got cancer and he got lost.

THAT was when I finally figured out what 'worked' for me in relation to life after cancer.  SIMPLIFY.  It's on old Quaker tenet.  Keep everything as simple as possible.  

Now, I don't recommend throwing out your husband (necessarily), but you get the idea.  Kick all the stuff our of your life that you haven't used in .....oh, say a year or so.  If you have survived without it that long you won't miss it.  Where is it written we have to have a Christmas tree?  Or send cards?  Or read the ones we receive?  Or have throw rugs in every room, or 7 sets of dishes in the cabinet, or 329 books we have already read or will never read, or forty-lebben different kinds of stationary?

After my hubby left I moved from a two story house to a small mobile home and boy did I simplify.  And lived there 13 years, just recently moving in with my disabled dad with even LESS of my own space.  And not missing one thing I really need.  

Next I plan to upgrade to a cave in the wilderness somewhere.

Actually my sister is a little simple-minded.  I think I can say that without pc police hitting me.  She has CP and unfortuneately it meant that she did not develop emotionally at the same rate.  She is not afraid because she doesnt know to be afraid.  She thinks that only stage 4s pass away from cancer.  And I dont want to be the one to sit her down and make her afraid.  The only thing I can do is make sure the BS is clear about the risks of surgery and cancer.  At least the first time her adoptive mother went with her.  And she said the followup appt a cousin went with her because her mother was busy.  Her mother passed away several years ago.  Her father passed away in December.  Our biological mother passed away just before the adoptive mother did.  Kathy has 2 sisters by adoption and she has got on their last nerve so she didnt even ask them.  So now I am the GOOD sister.  Heaven help me......!

Dream,

That is soo sad about your sister. I hope that she makes out O.K.

Dr. Gloworm cracked me up. That is too funny. My laugh for the day.

Kerry

Well it was an interesting meeting with the BS.  Then the nurse came in with the paperwork and Kathy got confused and upset so I asked the nurse for 5 minutes, took out my trusty notebook and drew her pictures.  Once she knew exactly what they were going to do, she was ok with it.  Then we had a nice lunch and I put her on the subway to go home.  Kathy was shocked that I would even consider being there for the surgery.  Hubby of the year will pick her up afterwards.  Her adoptive sisters are saying that she is trying to use cancer to get additional attention.  Yeah how is that working for her?

Dear Dream:  you deserve a special ((((( HUG )))))) for being there for Kathy.   I am sure Kathy would have picked a dozen OTHER things to "get attention", if she had a choice.   Such pettiness on the part of the adoptive sisters.   

On cleaning out things:  I am still throwing out things, and donating others after moving into an apartment 3 years ago.  36 years in a split level house before.  There is not one single thing I miss or wish I had not gotten rid of.    As an aside, I wore out 3 shredders before I moved, and 2 since moving here.  Don't forget to get a receipt of the items and value for income tax deductions.   The usual accepted "value" of an item is 1/4 the original cost.   

I found an article on displaying the American Flag.  Did anyone know it is supposed to be flown at half mast on Memorial Day?   Just a bit of trivia to challenge the brain cells.  

Hugs and Blessings,   Nancy 

Barbe,

Sorry for the stupid question, but I don't have a flag.  It's still nice to know.  Thanks for the information. 

{{{{{{{{ Harley }}}}}}}}}}}}

hahahhahhahaha

I think that's why my family is ignoring me...they think I just wanted the attention and managed to convince a surgeon to cut my breasts off.... 

What, pray-tell is Munchausen's Syndrome?

  Dream:

Harley

Nancy, we'll all be doing a big Happy Dance for you in a month!!!

Dream, my heart goes out to you for having to deal with all the special complications that come with Kathy's cognitive impairments.  As if you don't already have enough on your plate.  Lordy.

Barbinar, I totally agree with you about simplifying life.  God bless you for surviving with mets this long.  I've been through a few butt-kicking experiences before cancer that taught me a lot about re-ordering priorities and tossing out the stuff that's not really important in one's life.  So, thank goodness, that was not a new concept to me when b.c. came along last year.  It did help that I didn't have to get into simplify for the first time in my life.  But my previous griefs have been largely emotional.  Breast cancer has kicked my butt physically, too, in a way that nothing else has before.

Nancy, I feel like I'll never get my act together post-BC either, but I'm doing the best I can.  Talk about having to lower my expectations for myself!!   I keep having to remind myself every doggone day that it's amazing that I was able to return to work full-time as a physical therapist, which is a demanding job, so that I can keep this roof over my head & hang onto my health insurance.  And if that means I don't have the energy to keep up with housework or laundry or the yard or ten gazillion other things, then so be it.  My real friends still love me for the person I am, not for what I can accomplish.  Where ever each one of us is at, we are all doing the best we can.

XXOO to all.

Hey, I'm bumping this thread for a special news flash to all veterans of this forum!  One year ago today, I joined this forum & began to meet all of you wonderful, generous, humorous, courageous women.  And in a fitting coincidence, earlier tonight I delivered the first Accidental Amazon Tee Shirts to one of this threads veterans, our own kes who was in Rhode Island visiting her sister, all the way from Ontario!!  It was awesome.  Couldn't have planned a better coincidence if I tried.  She sends her love to all you gals who made this thread our refuge last year & promises to join  Facebook asap!!

Hi, Kerry!!!!!   I loved meeting you, too!  Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.  Gotta send you an email or PM.