Starting Chemo February 2009?

Suzanne~ I agree about being humbled by chemo.  I have been crying all day trying to figure out how in the hell I am going to get thru another 10+ days feeling like shit and all I can do is cry.  Taxotere is causing shooting nerve pain thru out my back and sides and I feel like a darn old lady when I lay down.  Moan then roll over, repeat moan than roll over. 

I am having a quitting kinda day today.  One of those days it is a good thing that I don't have to go back tomorrow because I wouldn't show up.  I have 2 weeks to get my sorry butt ready before the last TC and I am having my doubts right now.  Okay enough of my moaning again did I mention how much I hate cancer. 

KerryMac  Congratulations!!  The kiddos in my avatar are my gkids--the baby is now 11 months old, so he has changed the most--followed by me with no hair! 

Bethie, You've been absent a few days...what's up?

Mikita,  With my luck, that "string" would be attached to something and if I pulled it, would completely unravel, or my nose (or something) would fall off ! 

Apple, I just have to ask--did Andy's hamster survive after all? I've been thinking about the poor critter.

Somewhere in the chemo fog, I neglected to put my utility bill in my "bill pay" last month.  I got a disconnect notice Friday--YIKES.  I've got to remember to call them first thing in the morning and plead my case or else I really will be in the dark.  Sometimes I just don't connect the dots.

Take care--Helen

Good morning!  Another week begins, is it just me or are these weeks going by quickly?  Maybe it's these darn weekly tx's, before I know it, it's time for the next one.

Living4today:  I'm sorry you're having pain already with the Taxol.  I haven't had much issue with pain yet, but have been dealing with a killer mouth sore all weekend.  I'm thinking I'll lose the lbs I've gained the last few weeks, since it hurts so much to eat.  I only have one sore, but wow, it hurts all the time.  Ouchie.

Gonna be a gorgeous day, hope I can get my sorry butt outside to enjoy it!

Hugs

Judy

Just a quick hello - crashing big and bad for my last time. I was in bed all weekend with a lot of pain, then I just got tired of being in bed so I got up this morning, but I am feeling zonked. Cumulative is my most detested word right now.....

Hope everyone is doing OK. Having my own little pity party here in Canada too, the joys! 

Will write more when I find my brain.....

Kerry sorry about your crash,  You are allowed to detest this one 10x more than any other.  The further I get into treatments the more upset I get that it takes so long to come out.   

Cumlative....YUCK, YUCK, YUCK,....

Okay I must post something + after my days in the hole.  Red Devils came to my house this weekend and did an awesome job.  I am actually not embarassed to have someone come over   I was shocked it was 2 guys but they where really nice and did a super job.  Now I can't wait to see them again.  They are going to be coming 3 more times which I am thrilled about. 

OMG - what a weekend.. My dear sisinlaw died last nite.  Her family is town.. all 2 million of them and we are hosting many of the children.   The funeral is not until Thursday and until then i have 11 house guests, 7 of them who are children and speak Spanish and whose mothers cook Mexican food. - and others who are going to hang out here because our house is so kidfriendly.

there is joy in sorrow - and ungodly amounts of work.  i mowed and mowed, i cleaned and cleaned, i changed beds, i found the towels and i cooked.. i woke up Sunday and could hardly straighten up to walk erectly.  (Thank goodness for hydrocodone).

Gramof3 - the hamster lives, surprisingly.  (sorry i laughed)

Apple: I'm so sorry to hear about your SIL.  It's so caring of you to take in so many houseguests during this difficult time.  It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, both physically and emotionally; take care of yourself, ok

Kerry and Jancie:  I hope you both start getting some relief from the pain soon. 

Jaimie:  I had lost a lot of weight on the AC, but boy, since I started Taxol, I weigh more than I have in years.  I think I've gained like 10 lbs from my lowest AC weight til now.  I don't want to gain any more, so I am watching what I eat (usually I can shove any old food in my mouth and not gain any weight).  Old habits are hard to break!

I finally took a pic of myself for my avatar.  I am wearing my favorite wig that looks most like my hair, my head scarf (which keeps said wig in place all day), and my new eyelashes.  Thought I'd try the false eyelashes--they're not that bad actually.  I am holding one of our 4 dogs, a chihuahua named Sophie.  She's a sweetie.

Hugs

Judy

Kerry-Congrats! YEAH! Love the pic!

Apple-so sorry about your sis-in-law.

I hate to report that the rads for whatever reason has me a little nauseas the last 2 days. Not sure why that happens. Though nauseau was not supposed to be a rad SE!

Hang in there ladies, everyone has come such a long way!

Sue

Apple - so sorry about your SIL - hope the next few days are not too stressful. Take time to rest yourself....

Sue - hope the nausea goes soon - do you think it is related to the rads? You are zooming through them, and will be done before you know where you are. 

Judy - great to see such a lovely photo! You look different from what I pictured you like! You look great, and I love your dog.  I have put on 5kg with Chemo, from what I weighed after surgery. I lost weight after I was diagnosed, so am up about 2 or 3 kgs in total I think. I am really looking forward to getting out exercising again! I have no eyebrows or eyelashes, i am just resigning myself to being a baldy for a few more weeks - hope they grow back fast!!

 I am doing OK today, haven't really moved from the sofa much though.  My In-Laws are going home Wednesday, so I need to get up to speed tomorrow.

Thinking of you all...

Oh Apple, I am so sorry, what sad news.  Please know that we are here for you.

Kerry:  thanks; I haven't been brave enough to post a bald pic, like you, and you look awesome!  I look like uncle fester without my hair!  I haven't even gone bald at home, no one but me has seen me bald. (and a doctor or two, I made my husband leave the room, how sad is that)!   My 11 yr old son doesn't even want me to go out in public without a wig, he's at a weird stage right now, so I don't want to make him uncomfortable.  We've always been close, so maybe me being bald is just too much for him, too scary???   I just wear the little caps at home.

Susan:  Do you think it was from the rads, or do you think you're coming down with something?  I didn't feel nauseous with rads, but who knows?  What did your doc say about it?

It is surprising how badly one lousy mouth sore can hurt, geez, it hurts just to talk or swallow, and even into my ear on that side.  And now I have chemo tomorrow, so I wonder if it will go away at all.

Hugs

Judy

Apple, you are in my prayers.

OK, I'm going to whine... All through treatment I was able to keep up with my kick-boxing and tai chi, albeit with frequent breaks. Now that I am done I cannot even bend my legs without them burning! I am more fatigued than ever! I have heard about chemo being cumulative, but sheesh! I am impatient, I know...

oh gosh.. such aches and pains after chemo.. it's because i worked so hard Friday to Sunday.

to take your mind off of your cares.. have a listen to one of my friend's songs.  it's his band.  It was commercially successful in Britain.   he has gorgeous voice.  it's very different.  He was a hoot. very edgy.. i met his wife on a piano forum.. i met them at a party in New York, and we pulled off an impromptu Ave Maria.. the kid had some training!

http://www.stumbleaudio.com/#eye/1

Apple - My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.  Sometimes, we really get a lot to deal with at once. 

Apple that is inspiring music, what a sad loss of such talent. My condolences to you for both SIL and friend. You really are dealing with a lot. Hope you rest up from all your hard work.

Judy, well the picture was a surprise. I was so used to your avitar, now you come to life as a real person. I, too have a chihuaha. If you have any good tips on getting her to let me know when she has to go outside please share. I've never had this problem with other dogs. I always have to put her outside at my own discretion. I've used rewards and praise when she goes outside but don't get why she won't go to the door. If there are any experts out there, please chime in.

Jaimieh, looks like we will both finish up about the same time, tx 6 for me is May 20, so it's nice to be on a count down although the SE from 5 are still working their magic so hard to think about 6 yet. Right now I'm loving the taste of steel wool in my mouth, NOT! Good night fellow BCers.

Jaimie - so funny, I discovered Cheese and crackers as the cure-all this weekend too! Think it is the protein in the cheese....??