Don't postpone joy
In the face of IBC, Tom and I stuck together. In the middle of chemo he proposed. Through surgical complications I planned a wedding. We did not know how much time I would have, but wanted to be together for each day of it.
On March 28, 2009 our dreams came true, and we were married. I am about to start rads, and now have a loving partner to support me through that, and whatever comes our way.
I'd like to invite you to see our wedding pictures. Here is the link Tom and Bette's Wedding.
BTW, I decided to wear my wig for the wedding day as my post-chemo growth would not support the veil I wanted to wear.
We are so happy, and so glad that we did not postpone our joy.
Bette
Comments
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bettelou68...you go sister! The pics were absolutely beautiful...brought tears to my eyes... Happy tears! My daughter postponed, (against my wishes), my granddaughter's first birthday party in February because of my surgery, etc. I'm gonna have her read your post and plan a big party for Lilah! Thank you for posting... CONGRADULATION!!!
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Hi, Bette ~ I know your inspiring story from the August 08 chemo board, but your post still brought tears to my eyes. Your message is one we all need to hear, especially as we move beyond treatment and the normal pressures and demands of living sneak back into our lives. Thank you for reminding us not to postpone joy, celebrations, or anything we really want to do. May you and Tom be blessed with many years of marriage and joy. (((Hugs))) Deanna
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Yes Bette,
Thank you for the reminder to grasp all the joy we have in our lives....
Best wish and congradulations
Jule
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You go girl! These is the key to a productive and joyful cancer journey. There will be high and lows but there is still room for joy!
Flalady
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Bette:
Thank you for sharing your beautiful wedding pic.
Congradulations!
Hugs
Laura
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How wonderful ~ congratulations!
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I can't take credit for the title of my thread,"Don't postpone joy". It was told to me by Lillie Shockney, director of the Avon foundation Breast Center at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD. That is where I go for treatment, and they diagnosed my IBC last August and got me into treatment fast, which has given me a much better prognosis than I might have had. If you are driving distance from Hopkins and are not satisfied with your treatment, it is worth going to their website or for a second opinion.
The staff at the Breast Center are like family to me now. I shared my pictures with them as well. Lillie has her personal email address on the website and actually answers her email. We had been corresponding about the wedding and honeymoon when she told me not to postpone our joy.
Bette
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Congratulations!! Your pics are beautiful! I wish you much happiness and joy for many years to come!!
Hugs,
Lexi
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Bette,
Congratulations! You look so beautiful in your wedding pictures. Radiant! It is such good advice to continue to live and find joy amidst the misery of cancer. I hope you have much more joy and happiness!
Amber
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Thanks, Amber
Today I walked out of rads and straight into Tom's arms. It was a wonderful feeling.
27/28 rads to go!
Bette
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You go girl!
Joy is a great thing. JOY JOY JOY. No regrets!
Spring.
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Congratulations! How beautiful and special.
All the best to both of you!
Lisa
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How wonderful, thank you so much for sharing.
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Congratulations. Keep on smiling.
Sue
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Sue, thanks for reminding me to smile.
Tonight I am not feeling much joy, as Tom is working, and I am sooo tired from rads. But tomorrow morning we will be together. Right now I want to be held, and all I have are teddy bears and pillows, LOL. Tom is a nurse, and his weekends at the hospital go fast for him, but slow for me. What counts is that in a few hours he will be home.
I'm so glad we didn't postpone our wedding due to my bc. I love him coming home to me.
Bette
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Gg08, thanks for your good wishes and congratulations.
I am nearly 1/3 through rads now, with no complications so far. Tom is at an employment physical this morning for a job that we would really like him to get. I am spending the time praying for him.
Yesterday I felt energetic and worked out for an hour, then baked brownies for him to take to work. His coworkers are very much enjoying his newlywed status. As I am officially a homemaker now, I have time to bake all kinds of goodies to send in.
Despite all the baking, Tom has lost weight since the wedding. He says that is because I am taking good care of him. He is taking great care of me, but I have lost nothing. I remain slightly jealous of the relatively easy time men seem to have with weight loss.
It is great to be happily married. It puts the ibc and the treatments in perspective. Despite this disease, I choose to rejoice in life!
Bette
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Beautiful wedding pictures!!! Congratulations to you both and many more years to come!! I really like your pics in the hat - - they were lovely. (I still wear my hair short.)
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Thanks, cp418!
I bought that hat specifically for the wedding festivities, and it is now my favorite. It looks nice with my short hair and shields me from the sun.
This weekend I experienced heat exhaustion after only 20 minutes outside. My rad onc said my body is different now because of all I've been through this year, and I will have to be careful. I guess I will be staying in alot if this summer is hot, hat or no hat
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Congratulations to you both---you are a very beautiful couple!
Wishing you many years of happiness and good fortune!
Jennifer
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Today he was waiting outside rads with a single red rose. What a guy!
Bette
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You look beautiful in you wedding pics. I am so happy you are living you life. Sounds like Tom is a sweet man!
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Bette...CONGRATULATIONS!!! You were a gorgeous bride...Both of you looked so happy!
You are so right...We should embrace what joy we in our lives...without resrvations. Thanks so much for allowing us to share in that joy.
Sandy from Cincinnati
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sbmolee, you are right about living my life. Since we decided to go ahead with the wedding in the middle of treatment, I have felt like a survivor instead of a victim.
Bette
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Bettelou:
I, too, went to J. Hopkins. Had my surgery (bilat mx w/ DIEP reconstruction) on March 30th. I'm leaving tomorrow to go back for my follow up on Wednesday. I met Lillie on my first visit there. Isn't she an angel? I was hoping to see her while I was there 5 days for my sugery, but she wasn't and I wouldn't have been good company anyhow.
I'm off to look at your wedding photos. Your title caught my eye and I wanted to thank you for reminding me to keep important things in life as our top priority. I'm glad you found the man of your dreams and he's there to comfort you thru your bc. I don't know what I'd have done without my dh.
Prayerfully,
Kathy
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Today a brain MRI showed no evidence of disease, Praise the Lord! I was in the ER over the weekend with dizziness and blurred vision, and they wanted to rule out brain mets.
There is a small nodule on my left lung that has to be checked out further.
On returning from the hospital after the MRI and my rads today, I was greeted by 6 red roses from Tom. We met one year ago today on Match.com.
Love is more important than cancer to me. Whatever it does to my body, it can not take away our love. When I was feeling ill these past few days, Tom held me tight. I am a blessed woman.
Bette
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Great pictures, thank you for sharing them with us.
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wonderfull pics..the best to you and your new husband...a happy,healthy life to you both
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On returning from a checkup at the Avon foundation Breast Center at Johns Hopkins, Tom presented me with a new teddy bear. It's little shirt asks'"Could you use a Hug Today?"
Hugs to all who are having a hard day.
Bette
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Bette--Thanks for putting a smile on my face. You met on match.com? I am afraid of computer dating but you give me hope.
Sue
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Sue, yes we met on match.com a little over a year ago. I was afraid of meeting someone on the internet, but my therapist gave me an assignment to go home and put a profile online, and Tom saw it that very night. We corresponded about six weeks before actually meeting. It was scary to meet someone I only knew from email and phone calls, but I am so glad that I showed up. The first time we met in person, we both knew we had found someone special!
This afternoon I was the photographer at my nephews birthday party. Children are the source of so much joy. It really tired me out, but I am glad that i went.
Bette
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