**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

Hi princesses!   Sorry I have been off the board for a few weeks.  I'm just getting back so no doubt I have missed a lot but will make it up eventually.  Hope everyone is doing well (relatively!).

Things have been pretty hectic around my way and not really in a good way.  If you're interested to read this whole post you might want to settle in a comfy chair with a cuppa first...

First off, my Dad (71) had to have an 'urgent' hip replacement (his 2nd) because he'd left it until it was ready to shatter, or so his specialist said.  He's been hobbling around on it for ages and we (my mum, me and my two sisters) have been nagging him to get it seen to but of course he kept putting it off because he thought it would be too inconvenient to be in the hospital during my treatment etc.  In the end the Doctor pretty much made the choice for him. Surgery was successful and he's coming out of the hospital tomorrow after ten days of physio etc.  He's up and on his feet and can do most things for himself which is good for my poor old Mum.

In the middle of all that, my eldest sister was diagnosed with a recurrence of her cancer (synovial sarcoma).  This will be her 6th surgery specific to this diagnosis and they are removing her left kidney.  Previously she's lost her left lung, her spleen, her left adrenal gland, her gall bladder and chunks of rib etc.  It's not pretty.  She'll be going in sometime in the next two or three weeks.  She's grateful they can remove it but at the same time she is quickly running out of expendable organs so she's aware that the long term prognosis is poor.  She has two kids (11 year old girl, 12 year old boy) and a husband who has been going through this with her their entire married lives as her original diagnosis was on their first anniversary.

In the middle of all THAT, I had my 3rd chemo (4/15) and really struggled with nausea and diarrhea, right up until about 48 hours ago.  It wasn't as intense as before but it didn't seem to want to stop.  My onco had already put me on the maximum combination of anti-nausea drugs so all I've had left is sipping ginger beer while lying around in my pyjamas!  I also have a lot of trouble sleeping despite being very fatigued.  As a result I haven't been in to work for a couple of weeks but will try for next week. 

As you can imagine my poor mother (67 years young) has been trying to keep it all together with 3 out of 5 family members needing help...and Dad's hospital is about an hours drive each way and of course she insists on visting him every day. 

So...it's all been a little stressful!

Other things...I went to see a geneticist who is going to 'map' me to see if there is anything amiss.  They strongly believe I do not have either BRACA gene as there is no family history of note amongst my big (huge) extended family (poor rural Irish Catholics...whaddya gunna do?).  However, because of my sister's diagnosis coupled with mine, they are keen to see if there is something wrong with the p53 gene which would indicate a predisposition to cancer, especially Breast and Sarcoma.  If I'm found to have a fault here, the implications are quite profound so I'm not telling anyone about this until there are any results.  Next round of testing would include my sisters and my sister's kids.  They won't know anything more until June so I'm mind-dumping it for the time being and I've kept this whole thing to myself   Having said that, if it's proven, it means I almost certainly won't proceed to radiotherapy (because mutations in the p53 gene can potentially be stimulated, not overcome, by radiotherapy) and almost certainly will go in for a bilateral mast.  Phew.  So lots ahead...potentially.  On the other hand, it might be disproven, in which case my sister and I are just two unlucky girls with the same parents!

Another other thing....ladies, I bent to the will of the people and got myself...A WIG!  After saying lots of times that there is no way I would, I totally reneged on all that and got myself a nice little bob number, 'Maple Sugar' in colour.  Sorry, no photo as yet but will work on it.  To be honest my parents offered to pay for one otherwise I would not have bothered but now I am wearing it about 60% of the time when I go out (and especially when I see the folks so they can feel like they are getting their $500 worth!).  I find I feel more feminine and it does deflect unwanted stares at the mall etc.  Most people like it better than my pre-chemo hair!  I still have my collection of scarves and natty hats and as our days are getting cooler (in Australia) I will definitely get plenty of wear out of them!

Oh my gosh, so thats plenty of download from me for a while.  There are good things interspersed with the bad.  I have some great friends checking in on me and making sure to keep inviting me to fun things.  I have a funny, furry manx cat called Bunny who makes me laugh.  I'm slowly but surely convincing my parents to get a rescue dog (their's died last year and they NEED one) and when it comes I'm committed to walking it a few times a week (good for me, good for them,good for the hypothetical pooch) when I am well. I still have a job (albeit no money!).  Australia is officially in recession now but they tell us not as badly as many other countries (yay, we're the best of the worst!).  The sun is shining.  The nights are getting cooler and I love cooler days. 

I got the urge to cook for the first time in MONTHS the other night and made the best free-range, organic roasted chicken ever!  It tasted like CHICKEN and not like the spongy, chemically stuff most of it seems to be these days.  I turned the leftovers into a Thai Chicken and Corn Noodle soup with herbs from my garden and that was even more yummy!   Now that I CAN eat I am determined to eat fresh and flavourful as much as possible.  I also succumb to fast food or bland foods when I'm not feeling well.  Have maintained my weight so far on chemo but prior to that had packed on 40lbs from treatment for Graves Disease.  I finally bit the bullet and bought a couple of pairs of jeans that fit me and aren't straining precariously across my ass...and of course ever since then people have been asking me if I've lost weight!

So thats where I'm at.  Lots more stress ahead with my sister.  We don't yet know what post-op treatment she may or may not have.  She's previously had both chemo and radiotherapy but there may be new approaches here to try.

My 4th chemo is on 5/5 and this time will be Taxotere (have completed 3 x FEC) so I'm told I can look forward to less nausea, but more bone pain.  Yippee!  Having read some of the posts on here about Taxotere I think I will have low expectations and hopefully will be pleasantly surprised!

Congratulations if you've made it to the end of my post.  There's no prize I'm afraid but I do wish everyone health and happiness.  I especially want to thank Gina for pm-ing me and Janine and others for asking after me.  It's nice to be missed!

Btw, my 'real name' is Rachael.  Ricki is a family nickname but most people call me Rach!  I thought that might get confusing with Rachel from Melbourne hence why I didn't mention it before.  But Rachael / Rach  / Ricki...I answer to it all! 

xx

Hi All,

Ricki - Wow..  best wishes and prayers to you and all your family.  Hang in there.

Well, I've just gotten through my 2nd chemo meltdown...  2 down, 4 to go!  Physically, it didn't seem as bad as the first one, mentally, It was still difficult enough that I couldn't get rid of the thought that I have to go through this 4 more times...  and how am I ever going to get through it.  Now, most of my hair is gone and I think my lashes are starting to thin as well.  my brows still look O.K....   but hey, there's time for that...

But now that I'm feeling better, I keep thinking about strawberrys and whipped cream.....  Oh yeah.... that's going to be good!!!!! 

This will pass!!!!!

My best to all you ladies!

 Beth

Ricki!  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!! It sounds like you have a fabulous attitude and will get you and yours thru this trying time!! My best! Dawn

Good morning to all.  I have been feeling well and opted not to sit in front of the computer when I could spend time outside or with the kids.  Now I am paying the price in being soooo far behind in the posts!!  LOL.  I will catch up with everyone soon. 

I had my final AC tx this past tuesday and I am now half way thru chemo.  YEAH.  I am feeling a little more nausaus this go around but am trying to ignore it.  (don't worry though, I am still taking my meds to help as well). 

I am so happy to have this group.  I have opted out of any other kind of support group because you all are all I need!!  Thanks for being there and I'll catch up soon. 

Cyndi

Ricki13... Wow... I am so incredibly sorry.  Prayers and thoughts coming your way!  As a mother, I can't even begin to imagine the pain your mom is suffering right now.  Please keep us posted...

Good afternoon all!

I just got back from the onco's and they forgot to order my nuelasta...UGH, I have to go all the back tomorrow (hour drive with the traffic in the AM).  They did give me a shot of procrit (not sure on the spelling) for my red counts which were borderline low.  Has anyone gotten this and if so did it help with fatigue?  I don't feel very tired but I also can't stop to take a break when I need to work and watch the kids....maybe I am tired?  Anyhoo I am hoping that this will help with bouncing back even faster than ever!

Racheal....I am so sorry for what you all are going through...sending healing thoughts your way.  Thanks for taking the time to update us on you and your family.  Love your new avatar! 

Cyndi Hi trooper, I love your attitude....just got to keep muddling through the good and the bad.....we had good and bad days before BC so we just have to keep doing what we were doing before to get us through!

Beth and Chris Congrats on being 50% done!  It will all go by so fast!!!!

Have a great rest of the day all!

hugs

Diane

Rach: Good Grief Charlie Brown, You have a slew of responsibilities right now. Give your family all of our best wishes. Good Luck to you i hope you are beginning to see some light at the endof the tunnel.     Michelle

marshall2000... I didn't "get" the decadron high until after my 3rd tx.  Not only could I not sleep... I couldn't even BLINK!  I stayed up part of the night baking cookies (well, my version of baking -- placing precut cookie dough on a baking sheet) for my chemo group. 

gina... I've already put some thought into what I want for my last chemo from this group.  I'd like for y'all to come and see me the last day of my chemo.  That's right... I'm inviting everyone to Texas for a celebration margarita!  Those of you who aren't from Texas need to start practicing your "y'allls", "fixin' to", and perhaps a little back combing on your wigs.  Further details to follow...

Hi All,

Well I was so excited that the oncologist told me yesterday that TC number 4 would be my last that I completely forgot to post it on this board. I was so scared that she would tell me I needed 6.

I can finally see the sunshine at the end of my tunnel.

My husband and I are now finalizing our plans to attend a destination wedding on the Amalfi Coast of Italy early in June. The parents of the groom are friends of ours from London. We met then nine years ago on a cruise to Alaska. They have been so supportive during my journey.

I am soooooooooooo excited. Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Jan- Enjoy your last Chemo. I know I will .What a funny thing to say....Can you believe you have been thru all of them....It seems like we just started. Time goes by fast when you are having fun..NOT..Even though I am from NY margaritas are my favorite drink. When do we come?

Rikki- Stay strong... you know you have our support here..

Diane..How are you feeling today. Too bad about the docs forgetting to order your Neulasta shot.

Gina- Love your little friend. He does have more hair than me...39 degrees this morning in NYC ..Sat. Sun. and Mon mid 80's . Go figure...

Pickle- What a great picture of your beautiful city. We were there a number of years ago.

Alyad- That is some story..The custard looks sooooooooooo good. Not so big here in NY...

Ladies. I don't have many eyelashes but today I noticed I am beginning to loose my eyebrows. Luckily I have thick ones so there is still something there.Tomorrow I go to buy eyelash stencils and eyebrow brush..

Hugs to all.

Francine

Only 10 days to my last TC .I can't wait......

Hello Everyone!

Congrats to all who are nearing the end!  I have been given the greenlight for Tx #3 tomorrow.  My onc determined the 'knot' on my neck is a lymph node.  She said she's not concerned about it and won't let it delay my tx, but she will be watching it for the next six weeks.  If it becomes an issue, she will proceed with one or more of the options we discussed (x-ray, surgery, etc.).  We both think it may just be a bend in the tubing, so we'll see in time.  Hair Update! I couldn't stand the lace-front anymore (I'm used to washing my hair weekly), so I took it off today.  I'll be wearing wraps and easy-to-pull-off wigs for awhile.  My onc gave me the cutest wrap and turban to wear, so I might sport those over the weekend.  Ricki13 - Stay strong and hang in there. 

To all those dealing with SEs, try to get a little bit of sleep (HAH!), everyone heading for tx tomorrow remember you're one step closer to the finish line.  I'm not even going to attempt to catch up with all the post, but I'll be back ... getting ready to head out for Church. 

 Hugs & Kisses to all!!!!! Raymon

Hello all,

 I will catch up on all the posts now but just wanted to check in quickly. Am back home after another 2 night stay in hospital. Since i could not have Emend this time I only got Kytril and the steriod and the result was a LOT of vomiting through the afternoon and night after treatment. The onco kept me in a second night to give me IV fluids and ani-nauseas (Zofran and Maxilon) through the drip. No more vomiting so far. So it seems that Emend really is the wonder annti-nausea drug, and I envy those who can keep having it.

 Good news is that the port seems to work fine, and I didn't faint and crack my head open! Today I feel back on track - have been for long walk and will now have nap. Then will catch up on all posts and offer comments. IN the mean time, much love to all.

R

I have never been a milquetoast Christian.

I am human, and it infuriates me that you shelter a wolf and feed it lamb stew from your flock.

Perhaps you (those who aren't "happy" about my posts) should have ignored my posts before now as I did with Francine/crusader1.  I sure feel better about her in absentia.

Those who have not previously been aware of this now only have my word against hers...

Well, that and that long post where Britt told us how hurt she was that someone PM'ed her with venom.  What a cruel PM - to say that one is bragging because chemo has been un-recommended in their treatment, but radiation is still firmly on the table.  That just makes me chemo-type nauseated.  Wait till a "nasty Nellie" PM's you.

So, it would appear that a Devil is better for being silent in his deeds than the Christian is for not being silent about them.  Other Christians are super guys for doing nothing about their understanding and knowledge - shepherd's pie with meat in it for everybody.  Wow!

Don't PM me.  I already told you that is a coward's way to give "bad news."  If you wanted to keep your opinion private, the Internet is not the place to do it.  Rise and shine.  Do not bother me with your "potty mouth" by PM.  No, thank you.  Remember that.

I know that you "should" only get what you are deserving of, but that's not God's Grace - or the way of mankind, either.

I always consider my words - more than a lot of you will ever know.

Sticking up for a person who is wrong is taking on some of their error on your shoulders.

We'll pray for each other.  Coffee is on.

I sure do reflect the God that I serve - I'll answer to Him for my words and actions, and so will you, ladies.  I answer to Him, not you.

Sessna1

I know I don't contribute to the post much, but I can say it sure has helped me at various times.  I hope the disagreements are resolved one way of another and we can get back to the real reason why we're all here.  Simply to help each other get through this. 

 So, I'm just sending a big Thank you to everyone for helping me get through the hard times!

And then I'm sending I big HUG to all of you and wish you all a fantastic uneventful day!!!

I'm buying the drink of your choice for all you ladies right now!  Have one on me!

Beth

Good Morning Ladies: It is a glorious day here in Calgary...full of sunshine.

Rachel: Glad you are home from the hospital and feeling better.

Lots of posts to catch up on so I will read them all later. Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Friday...side effects at a minimum....and welcome to the weekend!

Silly Thought of the Day: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

sakura73... Sounds MUCH better than your last time.  Take it easy, though!

Beth... Agree 100%.  This board should be a safe secure place where we can all draw strength from each other.  As others have said previously, this board has removed the need for me to go to a support group here in my hometown.

Chris... Good news for you!

Pickle... Who knows?  After all of "this", I may become a skydiver. <=== Actually, who am I kidding... even typing that made me a bit nervous.

Arnie... Love your Sun Guy!