Blue after 4 months

Lisa-

you are not alone. it is tough to lose your breasts. i have been a basket case since my last surgery almost 6 months ago. i am just starting to feel a slight bit better. the doctor that attends my support group says that the average time is one year before life gets back to "normal". i didn't have chemo or rads either. i am not sure if i will ever feel like my old self again but i'm thinking that time will heal us. maybe going thru recon is getting to you too. i didn't do recon but i'm sure it is not a walk in the park. i think it is normal to feel blue and i don't think you are having a pity party. most people just don't understand how you feel. i do.

I completely understand what you are saying. I had a bilateral mastectomy on march 18th for dcis with microinvasion. All my friends were very supportive, so was my husband. I have two small children.  I have been upset lately and not knowing what to do about it. I feel like since january I have monopolized conversations with friends about what I am going through. I don't want to keep talking about it. I even had someone say that my chance for recurrence is less than their chance of developing b.c., which minimizes the fear/feelings I have. Getting cancer scared the heck out of me. I just started exercising this week and hope that will help with the depression. I feel guilty sometimes for feeling depressed, because I know I was lucky to catch it early and I didn't need chemo.  I don't have any close friends who have been through anything like this. I like this website because it lets me know I am not alone in feeling the way I do.  

Ditto x 4.  I am so depressed I want to jump out of my skin.  Like everyone I feel that family and friends are sick of it and besides what's the big deal - its over.  But its not over.

To all of you struggling with emotions, I'm going through the same thing.  I was 47 when I had my lumpectomy a year ago, folowed by radiation and now have been on tamoxifen for the past 6 mos.  I breezed through all of the treatment with very little concern, except to worry how my breast would look cosmetically.  Thanks to my excellent breast surgeon who used oncoplastic techniques, I can't even see a difference from how my breast looked before.  For the past couple of months I have been so weepy at times and lately have really been dwelling on the side effects of tamoxifen and worries about how estrogen blockage will affect tthe rest of my body.  The mood swings have also been horrible lately.  I just start crying at the drop of a hat and have a general feeling of there being nothing in life to look forward to.  I am also perimenopausal, so I don't know whether to blame that or the whole breast cancer thing for how I am feeling now, like maybe I'm having a delayed reaction. I have kept up with exercising several times a week and feel that this helps slightly with the mood, and found that when I did something that I could really get engrossed in and forgot about my woes for awhile, it helped.  I'm also going to a breast cancer support group which starts next week and think talking to others who are going through it will hopefully decrease my complaining to coworkers, family, & friends.   My Med Onc just prescribed Wellbutrin, saying that it would help with my libido issues as well as the depression and I started a week ago.  Hoping to feel improvement within a few weeks.  

hugs jeanbean.  EVERYONE who has been diagnosed has reason to be upset.  Don't ever feel like you need to apologize for feeling emotional.  I hope the ciatlopram works for you.