Is it depression or just a funk?

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thenewme
thenewme Member Posts: 1,611
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

How do you know when it's "real" depression versus whatever else? A funk? Defective personality? Chemo side effects?  Situational reaction? ughhhh!!!!

I'm down to only 2 more Taxol cycles (total of 4 AC and 4 Taxol), and just feel like total crap. I'm sad and bummed out, scared, anxious, and just a wreck.  I feel completely paralyzed emotionally - how can I break out of this?  I have an abnormal pap smear and a probable rectal fissure that I *KNOW* I need to follow up on, but somehow I can't seem to do it.  What the heck is wrong with me? I know I should be taking care of myself, making the appointments, exercising, eating well, socializing more, etc, but I feel like I'm barely able to drag myself out of bed.  Any words of wisdom? How did you find the courage/motivation to try medication or therapy? 

Thanks in advance,

me

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  • moogie
    moogie Member Posts: 499
    edited April 2009

    Sounds like you are a gal juggling flaming softballs. It's okay to feel crappy when you have been dealt a bad hand. Years ago a doctor told me that 2 weeks of unbroken depression ( nothing gives you any joy..at all...not even Cherry Garcia or your favorite movie...) creates a chemical situation.

     I did not have the money for medication at the time and was exasperated with myself. To focus on ANYTHING seemed to help, so I took out my childhood guitar...and got a beginner's book..and just did that for a half hour or so every time I was very cranky. I had to completely focus on learning because I had forgotten everything I ever knew about playing. Ten days later, I was in a much better place. The DR. said that exercising that part of my brain may have helped shift things for me in a good way and that music is helpful.

    I played like crap... but I say this to suggest finding something to do stuff that you have an interest in and like: crochet , read, walk a dog from a shelter , make a terrific cake, throw crabapples at your loud neighbors.Immersion in an activity can shake something good loose...because you are in the moment and not in the storyline of cancer stuff and the fallout.

    If this does not work: BETTER LIVING BY CHEMICALS!!!

    Moogie 

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  • thenewme
    thenewme Member Posts: 1,611
    edited April 2009

    Thanks Moogie and ivorymom!  It is good to not be alone in this!  I think you're right, Moogie - about finding something to focus on, but  that's the rub. I can't seem to muster any interest in anything (although admittedly I haven't tried Cherry Garcia yet, LOL!).  I keep coming up with more and more reasons (excuses!) to not try medication, and the apathy just seems to be multiplying.  The guilt is terrible when I realize that even my kids don't seem to be enough motivation to DO something. ugh!  My PCP had given me a Lexapro sample back in November or December, but I couldn't even seem to take the samples consistently so don't know if it helped or would have helped.  Probably it takes a while to feel the benefit and I didn't give it a chance, or maybe I need something different.  It's all just so overwhelming!

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  • mizbabygirl4
    mizbabygirl4 Member Posts: 163
    edited April 2009

    Yes, it can take up to 6 weeks of consistent use for antidepressants to take effect. And it is important not to STOP taking them suddenly, but to wean off them gradually.

    I don't know how I would have weathered BC without an antidepressant and talk therapy. I think both are invaluable.

    Janet 

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  • mizbabygirl4
    mizbabygirl4 Member Posts: 163
    edited April 2009

    Here's one way to identify depression. If you have five or more of the following characteristics for two weeks or longer, it's probably depression:

    1. Decreased sleep (or sometimes increased sleep)

    2. Decreased interest in things

    3. Increased feelings of guilt

    4. Decreased energy

    5. Decreased concentration

    6. Decreased appetite (or in some cases, increased appetite)

    7. Delayed responses

    8. Suicidal thoughts (If you have these you are definitely depressed!)

    (From a psychiatric manual.)

    Janet 

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