**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

Before BC I thought I wanted a tat.  Not anymore.  Im sick of needles.

Does anyone else just go nakey top,  I do.  I just cant stand anything on my head.  I hate the way hats and scarfs feel.  I go everywhere bald,  I hope people are not offended.  But I think everyone knows someone who has gone through this.  I was afraid people would stare, but they dont. I feel more confident and in control.  Anyone else?

Hi All,

Just catching up. Thanks for all the comments on the wig stuff

 I am beginnng to get annoyed wearing the wig  but just can't imagine going out bare or with a scarf. I think the scarf reminds me of those "sick" ladies with cancer. We have cancer but I know we don't consider ourselves sick. I feel strong. Maybe I always looked at those ladies in a pitying fashion. Except for my time after the chemo when asked how I am doing I always say Good. The hair loss is the least and a definitely does not make one sick.I don't want anyone taking this thw wrong way. These are just my feelings.

Any comments ..ladies..So many of you are sooo strong. I have had four surgeries since my diagnosis in November but don't consider myself sick..I would love to hear your feelings....I guess we have a disease  but...

Gina- What a great picture of you and Sydney.. I am sure in years to come you will cherish this picture of the two of you..

Jdeking- Thanks for the advice

Patti B- Thanks for the comments on the gargling..I was told to wash my wig every eight days with woolite and then conditioner.That was what the Feel Good lady said.

Here is a  photo taken at my Passover celebration yesterday..This is my DH and me..friends say my wig looks better than my own hair ever did..

"

Hugs ,

Francine

Francine!  You look wonderful,no one would ever know, that's what people tell me, but we know and know it feels wierd, not bad but wierd. I too have had 4 Sx since Sept.  I am not sick, but I am not not myself, I do well ,work, take care of the house and family, but I'm not my self!I'm sure you know what I mean!  I can do what I want , but I can't always  accomplish everything like I used to.People tell me I am doing so well, and I too think of those sick cancer patients, I have been a nurse for over 30 years and have taken care of plenty of them, my own mother died in Hospice almost 2 years ago, and she suffered and I am afraid I'll end up like her, she was so sick I couldn't care for her ,her pain could not be managed.  It was awful, the thought of it frightens me! You asked for us to share our feelings and these are mine, I hope I don't offend anyone, but this Dx is frightening, and I think we are all afraid. No one has a crystal ball to predict our future! I try to live in the present and not brood about the future, but sometimes I have a pity party, and breakdown! Thanks, for the Vent!!!! Dawn

ginagina,

 Today you are my BC hero!! Those pics of you and your daughter have inspired me and made me smile, thank you!

Had Tx #2 of TC today...need a blood transfusion on Monday, but otherwise, so far so good. Just tired, tired, tired....

Much love and peace to all...

Nadine

buddy1 - I craved a Big Mac too and I rarely eat red meat.  Since I've started chemo, I've eaten burgers and steaks and that is so not like me.   Maybe it's an iron thing.

bybly - that's a very good idea you had about making the tattoo available to all the March Warriors.

ginagina - glad you are feeling a lot better and able to go out wth your daughter.  Love the pink wigs.

pattib - looking good - where did you take your look good feel good class? And since I'm close to you, where did you get your wig?

buddy1 - I know what you mean about needles but these would be good needles. What a great way to end our treatments.

tat ladies - Would sometime in October work for our trip?  It ties in with the Breast Cancer 3 day walk.  Maybe we could figure out how to make it into a fundraiser too. Any ideas on that?  With some help, I'm more than willing to take the lead on this.  I already have someone working on a design and will get in touch with the Miami Ink guys too.  I went to college in Miami and loved it there - going back 30+ years later and getting a tat makes me feel like it's another new beginning for me.  Does anyone have any ideas of suggestion about the design.  Anything you like or don't like?  I was thinking something with a warrior design but something feminine too.  I'm kinda over pink ribbons but this tat is something we all have to agree on.  You can pm me any ideas or suggestions.

I totally agree about the wig thing.  I HATE mine but I haven't felt comfortable enough to go to work without it.  As soon as I get home my shoes and my wig come off.  I've gone out a few times with just a cap or a scarf but still feel self -conscious.

Good luck to anyone having tx tomorrow.  Wishing everyone a se free weekend. Enjoy Easter, Passover, or just being alive.  Hopefully the weather warms and we can get out and soak up the Vitamin D.  I'm having my 3rd tx Monday and hoping I can talk the doc out of the Neulasta shot.  I'm getting an award at work on Thursday and it's a pretty big deal.  Also getting $500 and was wondering what to do with it.  Wanted it to be for something special for me so I'm thinking it would be great for the Miami Ink trip.  I'm also going away for the weekend and do not want the Nuelasta pain.  My wbc has been really good so I hope that works in my favor. I'm just on Taxol right now - no A/C yet, that comes later.  Has anyone else go an okay to skip the shot?

I know we all have our good days and our bad days and none of us want to be here - but if this hadn't happened to me I never would have met such a caring, compassionate, and wonderful women.  I was having a feeling sorry for myself day Monday - we were taking my daughter out for her 21st birthday and I was feeling sad that I may not be around to see my grandkids.  I will fight like crazy but I am more aware of my mortality.  Anyway chemo brain knocked me off my train of thought - my point was ther was a women in front of us waiting for a table.  She was in one of the wheel chairs that are a lot more padded than a regular one and had lots of gadgets.   She saw me looking at her and she nodded her head and smiled.  It was like she knew I was sick and was acknowledging me.  It was a tender moment but it made me realize how lucky I was.  I can walk and talk and breathe on my own. I may be bald and bitchy but there will be an end to all of this  well maybe not the bitchy part lol.  Now matter how bad we feel, look around and see how truely lucky we really are.

Off to soak in a nice hot bath,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Okay wanted to go off to take a hot bath but started watching "Harpers Island" and didn't get far.  Looks pretty good so far.  Kinda reminds me of the movie Ten Little Indians by Agatha Christie.

Janet0527 - yes yes yes I could definitely use the help.  I think we need to figure out how many are really serious so Miami Ink and hopefully TLC will know what they are dealing with.  Where in Maryland are you located.  I'm about 15 minutes from I-95 and the DE line.

Michelle54 -  I am on taxol and have not had to have any shots so far.  I finished #3 on Tuesday, so if your counts are OK you may not have to have one.  Annette

Hi everyone,

 Yesterday I ventured into the front garden with my buzz cut. I KNOW one of the neighbors stared, but when I turned in his direction he quickly looked away. Today, I wore my wig out for the first time. I met a realtor who was taking my DH and I to look at horse properties in Riverside County. I swear she glanced at my head strangely. I think I am paranoid that everyone is looking at my head!!  The wig was ok for about 4 hours but then it started to itch and even lifted up slightly off my head. On the way home in the car, I took it off and then for sure I got a few stares. Not my imagination any more. Oh yeah, I forgot to say that I bleached the buzzed hair very blond!

 Bethr

I agree that the first steps outside with our hair MIA are very strange.  I go back to school on Monday after spring break, but I already warned my students my hair would be gone. They have been very supportive. I think our fears of how people will treat us are natural, but I think people are just more curious than anything.  Be brave and I am sure people will be surprisingly sweet towards you.

Sessna1 

I wanted you to know that I care about everyone who is suffering very much, but I am uncomfortable with your proselytizing. I am not a Christian and I do not like people pushing any religious ideology on me. I do not believe that is the purpose of this board.

Love Linda 

Tattoos  - Okay, Michele54 & I will take up the task of organizing this tattoo venture.  I can think of a few ways for interested ladies to participate.  One - We're going to try to get Miami Ink to take care of us, most hopefully on a show that they will air.  We would go down as a group once everyone interested is done with treatments and able to do it.  Two - Those who want to make that trip but not get tattooed could also go.  We'll make a long weekend in Miami out of it.  Three - Those who can't or don't want to make the trip, but want to get the same tattoo, assuming we do come up with a design that we're going to share, could go locally to get that tattoo.

Anyone who thinks they may want to participate, please private message me your email address.  I think that will be a better way of communicating since we can get all of us on one email and collect and disperse information.  Then, periodically Michele or I will still update the board in case others want to jump on board as we get more organized.

Michele - I'm in the DC metro area, NW of the city in Laytonsville/Gaithersburg.

Everyone have a wonderful day!

janet0527 - Please forgive me - I didn't mean to sound like I was pushing this whole thing on you.  I have someone working on a design for us but need some input from the ladies.  Anything we definitely want in the design - anything we don't?  I, for one, am over pink ribbons but if we want a pink ribbon incorporated into the design, I could live with that.  Also how big do we want it to be?  I'm thinking that anything we design can be made larger or smaller so I'm not sure that is an issue.

We probably need to know approximately how many of us we are talking about before contacting Miami Ink or TLC who produces the show.  Since we are talking about doing this in October - which  btw is a great month for Miami - we need to know soon.

I'm at work during the day so I can only check in occasionally but I can pm you later.

Thanks..........................

Dear Linda,

I appreciate your honestly.  In truth, I have not been proselytizing, I have been testifying.  And, I am not playing with words.  I have not tried to convert anybody.  The Bible tells me that if I deny Jesus Christ, He will deny me before His Father in Heaven.  I have not been proselytizing for y'all, I have been testifying of my faith in Jesus Christ.  If you want to stick to your original view, that is all right, too.

Matthew 10:31-33 (King James Version)

 ³¹Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

 ³²Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.

 ³³But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

IF you knew that someone was doing something that would affect their eternal spirit and soul and you didn't say something to them, now, that would be cruel.  If you didn't care enough to share your faith - testify - about Truth, that says a lot about your own character.

These boards are a good thing.  I don't have to agree with you, and you don't have to agree with me.  They are public.  You don't even have to reply to my posts, you can ignore me or put me on ignore.  Hey, I'll never know.  I won't take it personally.

There's a verse in the Bible that applies to our discussion here...

Galatians 6:2
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

It means that we must "put up with" each other's personal journey with God.  That means I bear up with what I may believe are your trials, and you put up with mine.  We respect each other as we should.

Matthew 22:37-39 (King James Version)

 ³⁷Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

 ³⁸This is the first and great commandment.

 ³⁹And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

However, being a person who started chemo in March 2009, and a human being, I can post here.  It's a shame that I'm very good with words, huh?  (Now that was an unveiled comment about freedom of speech.)

I could start my own board for "Christians," but hey, that would just be a label, and non-Christians and Christians alike could come on board.  That's freedom of speech.  Separation of church and state, taken in it's original context, meant that the government would stay out of religious organizations and expressions of personal faith.  It is being used to justify the opposite.  When your government attempts to enact laws that trump your religious freedoms, or make sure that you can't just worship one god or The God (freedom to choose), that isn't the United States of America - we've become something else.

Report me to the board masters.  They will read this post and decide for themselves.  With the inclusion of the dictionary word below, I am officially teaching, not just preaching in this one post, as I am not a preacher or a minister.  Learning is usually a positive thing, you have to learn what to avoid, too.

I am very serious when I say that I appreciate your response.  It does matter to me that you do not express a faith in God, but I'm not going to tell you not to say that.  You probably speak for a number of people on the boards.  Praise God, so do I.  I take my directions from a higher authority in my life.

Love in Christ,

Sessna1

Main Entry:

pros·e·ly·tize

Pronunciation:

\ˈprä-s(ə-)lə-ˌtīz\

Function:

verb

Inflected Form(s):

pros·e·ly·tized; pros·e·ly·tiz·ing

Date:

1679

intransitive verb 1 : to induce someone to convert to one's faith 2 : to recruit someone to join one's party, institution, or cause transitive verb : to recruit or convert especially to a new faith, institution, or cause

Travelgal

I get my 4th AC dd on Wed and it has been no fun....I am hoping the taxol goes better. I keep hearing people say they are on steroids and I've had none. Is that what the dex is? Are they given with the taxol?

Hi All.

Ladies ..I agree with Vangoghpro (Linda). I am also not Christian and definitely do not appreciate many verses from the Bible as posted by Sessna. We are here to comfort each other and meet such wonderful, caring  women in a similar situation just as Michele said. Please lets stick to the important stuff like getting the tattoo stuff organized.LOL.Please no more religion...

Pickle- I just love your cute thoughts...

Luv2sing- Nice picture.I do hope the cuff does it's job..

Travelgal- Glad things went well for you..

Have a nice holiday weekend..both Passover and Easter..

Hugs to all..

Francine

crusader1 - I go back Wed. for my follow-up, right now it takes some getting used to ... and I plan on taking it off around 8:30p tonight (16 hours!!!).  Tomorrow I'll have a bunch of fun trying to get this thing back on (LOL)! 

Ladies - If we can't express ourselves in the way we each feel comfortable, then what is the purpose of this forum.  I thought it was a place to come and vent if I needed to, cyber-cry on someone's shoulder if needed, say what I can't say to people who don't understand and gather information, resources, support, encouragement, make new acquaintences, share some funny and inspirational stories, a few jokes ... just something or someone to help keep us all sane, taking the focus off our pain and what we're each going thru and not feeling like out-casts.

I am a Christian, but I don't advertise, or drive around with a fish on my car (smile).  I just share my stories of how I've come thru some very hard times and if a person wants to know more I give as they ask.

Each person handles his or her belief in his or her own way.  Whatever gets you thru this and any other rough times is what you call upon.  If you are strong in whatever your belief is ... no one or nothing can change you.  We are who we are and that's what makes the world so much fun!

So can we lighten up and get back to the hugs and kisses and the good stuff ... like the tatoos (smile). 

Just wanted to throw in my two cents worth ....

Luv2sing, aren't you a dear one?

Note that when you throw a stone into a pack of dogs, the only one who yells is the one who gets hit.  I haven't quoted Bible verses in this post before.  Go on. - Go on and find one post.  You have too much time on your hands to lie like that.  You (those to who the lying words have come from about my posts) should be ashamed of yourselves for libel, and least of all being poor readers.

Here it comes - and don't PM me, crusader1, that's a cowards way out.  I don't want to hear from you, so, I shall follow my own advice and ignore you.

crusader1, I already knew everything you said earlier.

Love in Christ,

Sessna1