I think I need to find a therapist

Robyn.  Even without previous issues what you have been through has been such an emtional roller coaster to put it mildly.  I am quite surprised at your Drs. callous remarks concerning your weight.  That isn't appropriate behavior in my opinion.  However, your Dr. may be able to recommend someone within the hospital where you have been treated.  They may have programs in place to address your needs at this time.  I hope you are able to find someone to talk to.  But do take advantage of your appt. on Wed. to talk to your Dr.  If not your onch then who ever is your prescribing Dr. for the bipolar meds might be able to help you find someone.  Cancer treatment truly can upset the apple cart so to speak.  And just because your hair grows back.........it's not something you will "forget about".  People who say that to you have no idea what they are talking about.

Good luck to you.

Robyn: You have to remember that you are an early stager and have an excellent prognosis. You do need to talk to someone ( a pro ) to help you through this stage of your recovery. I do mean recovery. Sometimes we have to discipline our minds. When negative thoughts come in we need to simply replace them with positive thoughts. As we do this more and more it becomes our normal thought process. You seem to have a very negative inner dialog. This can be fixed and will make you a happier and more peaceful person for the rest of your life. I hope that you find someone that will council you and give you the tools you need to be truly happy. ((HUGS))

Hi Robyn,

I finished my treatment about 4 weeks ago as well and have had many ups and downs as I try to adjust and learn about this "new" me.  We can never go back to who we were before breast cancer - it changes who we are.  That can be a good thing after we get through the adjustment period and the realization of what has happened.  Hopefully, it can make us stronger.

As I was going through the all the surgeries and the chemo I felt like I was playing an active roll in fighing this.  When treatment ended and I didn't have the same amount of support because some thought I was now "okay" and ready to get back to "normal", I felt out of control and alone.

I saw my breast surgeon today and spoke with him about this exact topic.  He reminded me that I needed to put myself first right now and do everything I can to take care of me and that it is not unusual to be having these feelings of anxiety, fear and sadness. We've lost a part of ourselves and now we will begin to find that new and stronger woman inside.

If you could find a therapist that possibly had some experience with breast cancer survivor issues that would be helpful. But I would definately find someone who can help you through this. It would also be good for you to talk with your psychiatrist again. Some women actually have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after the breast cancer treatment experience. The fact that you will be starting Tamoxifen is also an important issue.  There could be interactions with other psych meds that could worsen your situation. 

Be good to yourself and don't be afraid to reach out as you have already started to do. There are people who care and understand what you are going through.   You are not alone - remember that. I will be thinking of you.  Take care.

Pam

Robyn.... Just remember you are not crazy. The feelings you have are quite reasonable considering all you have been through. Please call your doctor and see if he/she can recommend someone that can help you to sort out these feelings. We are all here for you! Hugs Nancy

Robyn - I just has an Onc visit on Tuesday and i told her I had been feeling down. She has referred me to an Oncology Psychiatrist they have on their team. She is someone that only deals with cancer patients, so knows exactly what we are going through and more importantly, can help. She said most of her patients end up seeing her, especially at the end of treatment. Please, please try and find yourself someone to help you though this. There is no need for you to be feeling so terribly. You have come through a lot. Look after yourself.

Wanted to let you know that this is why we have the Depression, Anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder forum,

because what you are experiencing is so normal, it's scary.

I've turned the corner, and am no longer having nightmares and flashbacks, but it is a very scary experience that we've been through, and when we start to relax and think we are going to be okay, we fall apart.

Love and Hugs

Sue

Robyn66,  I too am bi-polar and have survied rape and child abuse.  I also have weight issues.  I agree that maybe it's time for your meds to be changed.  It took a few years to find the right combination for me.  I personally think we gain weight to insulate ourselves from what we went through in the past.  Because I also have anxiety disorder and PTSD  I take lorezapam.  It along with my other meds keep me on an even keel.  Do you take any thing for your anxiety?  It really helps because our "mole hills certainly turn into mountains"  but having bc is a real mountain that we will have to climb a step at a time.  Feel free to send a PM to me any time you need to talk.  I will be thinking of you.  Good luck!