Stress + Work ? Cancer

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Jo_Ann_K
Jo_Ann_K Member Posts: 277
edited June 2014 in Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer

Greetings!

My guess is that those of us older women who are working are at the top of our game in our jobs and probably have stressful situations.  Lately, I'm feeling the stress more than usual, and wonder how it is affecting my risk of recurrence. It seems like an unfair balance...you need money to function and unless you are fortunate to have an inheritance or old money or a spouse who makes tons of money, you need to work.  Work causes stress and stress is a factor in cancer. It's a lose-lose, and today, I'm really down about it.

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  • Hindsfeet
    Hindsfeet Member Posts: 2,456
    edited April 2009

    Jo Ann..K..I understand. I've had bc twice...and the bread winner in my family. My husbands retired. Fortunately I love my job...although I do feel my body as of late wearing down.

    Like you, I have to be on top of my game. A lot of people depend on me. I can't think of ever retiring..or right now even a long vacation.

    I'm sometimes jealous of those who have the privelege to live without the concern of bills, and making enough to get by. I wish I didn't feel stressed.

    So..JO Ann...it is a unfair balance. I can't change my circumstances. I wish we women didn't have to carry such a load...I don't ever think we were meant to have to work so hard in our senior years. But...some of us do. On the brighter side, I should be grateful I can work, and have talents and gifts to make a living. I can't afford to worry about another recurrence. I have to look for the good in the everyday little surprises and wonders in life. Jesus said, come unto Me, ye heavy laden...and I will give you rest.

    So, I'll pray that you will experience rest in the middle of your job. I hope you will be ok...:)

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  • samedaynurseJan
    samedaynurseJan Member Posts: 192
    edited April 2009

    This is a hard one to respond to.......

    I understand totally what you're feeling and saying....I have a similar situation but have never allowed myself to stay down about it for very long. My DH had an accident in 2001....and in reality should have died but 10 surgeries later he is very much with me and I hope to never live a day without him.....the day after he fell I took my job to a full time level and took on the roll of breadwinner and benefits carrier....that was 9 years ago.....now Im 60 and still doing it.....no possiblity of change til we are at least both over 65 cause I am totally freaky about health insurance. Is it the best thing in the world for my bc diagnosis to be working full time ten hour shifts ? Probably not......do I find that I can do whatever is placed in front of me ? *nodding* yes I can......I am currently taking classes (in my spare time *L*) in meditation and mindfulness....the art of living in the moment, not in the yesterdays and not in tomorrow.....I am finding it to be very very helpful to me as far as winding down and destressing......I try to think about how lucky I am and less about how unlucky , rest when I can, laugh often and sleep EVERY chance I get !!!!!

    Hang tough , we are women.....hear us roar !

    Love to all

    jan

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2009

    I, too, find sleep a healer. My husband has 3 brain tumours. I'll have to work till I die. That's why I had the double mast rather than chemo and rads. No recon, as I had to get back to work FAST. Ah, crap!

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  • Jo_Ann_K
    Jo_Ann_K Member Posts: 277
    edited April 2009

    Barry, Jan, and Barbe,

    Thank you for sharing your experiences.  I admire your strength amidst the adversity.  This coming week I'm taking 5 days off (between 2 work weeks) really just to relax and take a few days to just rest.  I'm hoping that it will help.  In addition, I'm going to the local cancer center breast cancer support group.

    I know I'm not alone in this, so let's continue to give each other strength through this board.

    With warm regards,

    Jo Ann

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  • Maire67
    Maire67 Member Posts: 768
    edited July 2010

    .

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  • hbcheryl
    hbcheryl Member Posts: 5,113
    edited April 2009

    Hi Ladies,

    I am divorced and self employed so stress is my middle name but like you Marie I have changed my ways, I don't clean obsessively like I used to - so what if I wash the bathroom floor every two weeks instead of every week, it's only me, and my desk at work - please if I clean it I won't be able to find anything.  One thing I now do is leave the office every day at 4pm and head to the gym, I do a class every day some days it step aerobics, some it's a weight lifting class or a "tai chi/yoga" class and last week I even started doing one called "Body Combat" I was a bit concerned with all the arm chopping but the instructor said just fudge it and turns out I loved the class although my knees are feeling the effects but hey this is the new me.  I just had my 59th birthday and I know I'll never be able to retire and sometimes I am envious of my 2 neighbors who are both retired but I am living my new life and loving it.  Hugs to all.

    Cheryl

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2009

    I just got added even more work yesterday but I am flattered and pleased that they gave it to me. I only took 2 1/2 weeks off from my bilateral mastectomy (didn't do rads or chemo because I couldn't afford the time off). I am the only female in my department at this location and was thinking I was being bypassed. So, to get the small site of about 70 homes (appliance sales) is very good news. That means they expect me to be around.

    I don't stress like some of the other guys. They come in on their days off. I live an hour from work, so there's no way! I think it's poor time management anyway. There's nothing they can do but they show up. We have no bosses in our area so I don't know why they do it. Maybe they only feel important at work? I don't know. Anyway, they go over and over invoices and worry about things they can't control.

    I tell my customers, "You might get all of your appliances on the one day or the stove could be back-ordred. It's just a stove. I can't pull one out of my ass (I've only said THAT once) so don't do the hissy thing. It doesn't work with me." I know that sounds harsh, but the way I say it, we all laugh. Then when something goes wrong it makes them think. I'd rather set them up for disappointment than make false promises. I leave my work at work, but I do have to lock all my files up so at least every day I come in to a clean desk.

    I also find the older I get (51 in May) the less crap I'll take. From my job or from my customers, doesn't matter. One of the few benefits of getting older. Most people at work thought I was in my mid 30's early 40's until someone found out my real age and people came up to me to check! hehehehehe 

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  • Cheyanne
    Cheyanne Member Posts: 65
    edited April 2009

    I have spent many years trying my best to do stress avoidance.  So much that my first priority has always been, first, to get enough sleep.  I am 68 and what I laughingly call "semi-retired."  I work about 8-10 hours per week.  I do accounting for a group of three pathologists.  It pays very well for the amount of time I put in.  I can take off pretty much any time I want; nobody will do my work while I am gone, but I can arrange things so I can catch up when I get back.

    I have lots of friends who are fully retired and they get up at 6 am or earlier.  I have never been able to understand that.  When I first went to semi-retirement in 2002, and worked at medical transcription at the hospital, the first thing I did was arrange a shift where I basically never needed to come in before 1 pm.  That means I can almost always (except in the case of dr appointments or something) get up in the morning at my leisure.  My thought is that is the best thing about semi- or full retirement!  Actually, I usually get up about 8 am, spend an hour having my coffee, then go about my day. 

    By the way, I am divorced.  I live with my brother, who is retired.  I am lucky enough to not have any financial worries.  One of these days I may retire completely.  Trouble is, I am so busy right now with all of my hobbies etc, I figure if I retire completely I will never catch up!

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  • Brenda_R
    Brenda_R Member Posts: 509
    edited April 2009

    I had a lot of stress at work but the real stress for me came when my Mom got sick and my sister and I (mostly I) were her caretakers. She was very ill for almost 10 months and passed away. She was a very needy person and the stress was tremendous. Two months after Mom passed, I found my lump. I do think that stress played a large part. The last couple years of my work, I kept thinking deep down that I would have cancer, and I can't explain why. Just one of those things.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2009

    Stress beats down your immune system.

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  • Jo_Ann_K
    Jo_Ann_K Member Posts: 277
    edited April 2009

    Barbe,

    You're right on the mark.  I'm using my time off from work this week just to rest to get rid of a stubborn cold and feel better already.

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  • Jo_Ann_K
    Jo_Ann_K Member Posts: 277
    edited April 2009

    Brenda,

    Isn't it amazing what your instincts tell you?  When you think about it, there is no way you can keep your body on high gear during stressful times without having some reaction.  Let's hope that all of us start moving in a good direction!

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  • kjbell
    kjbell Member Posts: 974
    edited April 2009

    I too believe there is a correlation between stress (at work and at home with todays crazy times) and work and cancer. I have been working, as they say, like a dog for the past two years (lots of OT to pay the bills down), going to school to finish my degree and watched my daughter go to college out west (I live in NY). My grandmother fell in the bathroom the night I spent the night at her house and has been in a nursing home ever since. If all these things combined don't push you and your stress level over the edge, you are made of steel. Something had to give, and I do believe it was my health. I felt good for the 2 1/2 months I did not work. I slowly nudged my way back to full time and am working 1 xtra shift a week. I know I have to take care of myself first, but it is hard when you have bills to pay. 

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  • yizbieta
    yizbieta Member Posts: 100
    edited September 2011

    I have been reading some of your situations on this thread and I feel for all of you in such difficult predicaments. I feel as though mine is pretty lightweight by comparison. I am 59, single, and just completed five months of chemo in June and 36 treatments of rads almost three weeks ago, and now have shingles, mild neuropathy, and lymphedema (mild but definite). I am thinking it is time to retire if I can- I am experiencing some major mental/neurological issues: memory loss, inability to find correct words, fatigue, depression, and stress/anxiety especially when  thinking that this will be an issue when I return to work as a teacher. Teachers have to be 100% present almost 100% of the time. I have been off since Feb, when I had my lumpectomy, but I have very little sick time so it made sense to go on disability and I am still on it now, thankfully.  I wonder if anyone has advise for me in this situation- too young for SSecurity, too borderline perhaps, for permanent disability, and yet maybe there is a way.

    I have taught for 27 years now. I am not sure that going back would be good for the students at this point any more than it seems it would be for me. There is a ton of stress in teaching with all the requirements and demands and after what I have been through, not sure I can go back in full. I am tired and stressed and sick. And now, I feel llike I am whining!! So sorry!!

    Any suggestions?

    Elizabeth

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