surgery monday and scared

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debbie6122
debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

Hi,every one,,its been a while since i have been on line, just found out tuesday i will have my mastectomy this monday the 6th, since i found out i had bc and knew i would need surgery, i kind of been putting it out of my mind and trying to be strong, but now i know  it really is happining i have been a mess and can;t stop crying, i know i will get thru this just as you all have and iam so glad you are all here because i dont want my family to know how bad i really am so god bless who ever started this site to begin with every one has been so helpful and encouraging so thank you all for that. One thing iam a little confused about is on some of the sites i read that the dr told them that if they had been postmentalposal they may not need chemo, does any one know why the age would make such a diffence too, aim post and 54 but iam told i will need chemo. also i wondered if the oncotype testing is the same as the braca  testing? Well iam going to bed now ladies i will be back tomorrow, god bless you all

love and hugs

debbie

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  • Sukiann
    Sukiann Member Posts: 310
    edited April 2009

    Debbie, what you are going through is so normal.  I didn't have a mastectomy so I can't comment on how it would feel to have one but I do have (or had) cancer so I know how overwhelming it is.  Also, I know what you mean about feeling like you have to be strong for the family. You are not alone and I am glad you found this site.  There is a wealth of information and support here.  I haven't heard about being postmenapausal effecting the decision to do chemo.  Anyone out there know about this?  The oncotype test and the brca test are different. The oncotype test gives you a score that tells you what your recurrence rate will be.  The brca test is a test for a gene that means you may get ovarian or breast cancer or both.  I hope that helps and today is a better day.  I will be thinking of you on the 6th.  You will get through it.

    xoxo

    Sukiann

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  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited April 2009

    Debbie.

    You will get thru this, but its so very scary. I was a mess before my surgery, double mastectomy, I tried to keep my feelings to myself, but in the end it was my DD and DH that carried me thru, they could see thru the front I was putting up, and were there for me, in the hospital, before and after surgery, and at home , to help me with my dressings, and to feed me ! I needed that help, and took all I could for a week, and gradually got myself organised. Its not painful surgery, but it just wipes you out for a few days.

    Tell your family how you are feeling, I'm sure they'll gather round you to get you thru, I will be thinking of you, come back when you're feeling better, and let us know how you are.

    Another tip....get some laxatives in, and take them !! After anaesthetics you 'bung up'....nobody warned me, and I had great trouble in that department, so be prepared.

    Isabella.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2009

    Debbie, we try to keep our fear from our families and it just hurts us trying to keep it in. I had my husband be the one who took whatever I dumped on him in fear and anger. He was a rock, knowing my anger was at the cancer and not him. It allowed me to be "brave" for everyone else. We don't want pity or horror stories, or "oh, you'll be okay" spewed at us right now, so being brave keeps everyone at arm's length.

    Your onco type score is based on IF you take Tamoxifen, you may not. As for chemo being based on age, I've never heard that one either. Chemo is usually based on size, grade, stage and type of cancer. They won't know everything until the tumour is biopsied at the time of surgery by the pathologists. Your doctor can only give you an estimate at this time; your size may change for example, don't be confused. 

    It is not anywhere near as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be and I went home without a pain prescription, and I had a double! The hassle is when the nerves start regenerating and you get so itchy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

    You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up. 

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  • nelia48
    nelia48 Member Posts: 539
    edited April 2009

    I am postmenopausal, 60 years old, and had 6 treatments of taxotere and cytoxin. before surgery and radiation. 

    I, too, thought surgery was better than I had expected.  Not much pain, just stiff.  And whoever said to make sure you have laxatives is so RIGHT!!!!!!  I thought I would DIE of the constipation afterwards!!!!!

    Cora

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  • inthemoment
    inthemoment Member Posts: 538
    edited April 2009

    Hi Debbie,

    I am only 3 weeks out froma mastectomy and believe me, I expected much worse than what it turned out to be.  Take your meds in the hospital, and whatever they give you when you get home for the discomfort.  I was driving (with my surgeons permission and no pain meds) after a week.  No one person responds the same, but please don't shut your family out - they are probably as frightened as you are, and would welcome the chance to be your support.

    I am post menopausal @ 60 and also have not heard of that being the defining criteria for chemo.  I will be starting chemo next week because of the grade of my tumor.

    I will keep you in my thoughts to get through your surgery Monday with as little discomfort as I had.  Stay strong, and as a friend told me..."Fight, don't struggle"

    Geri

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  • gmp300
    gmp300 Member Posts: 351
    edited April 2009

    Hi Debbie,  Iam right there with you.  I had a lumpectomy and radiation 12 years ago and then pretty much forgot about it  except when I had my mammograms every year and my doctor appts.   Now BC has come back in my other breast  and I need a masectomy on my right side because there are two spots to far apart to do another lumpectomy.  I quickly decided to have both breasts done so that they would both be the same plus the fear of going through this again down the road or needing lifts on my other breasts.  I want to get this over with and get back to normal.  But now that my surgery is coming up on Tuesday Iam starting to get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I don't want to go now but I know I have to.  With summer around the corner it makes it harder.  But I find my strength thru the Lord and stay in constant communication with him and I know He's got me covered.  I just have to stay positive and have faith that it won't be so bad and pray for a quick recovery.  This website helps alot but also puts alot of questions in my head because everyone is so different.  I have confident days and also the  fearful ones.  Thats when I really need prayer and ask for peace and reassurance and I get it.  Good luck to you on Monday and you'll be in my prayers and I'll be right behind you on Tuesday.  When I get scared I say "Help me Jesus" and he does .  Now I keep praying that Iam doing the right thing having both done.  It would be nice to keep one of my own!          

    gmp300

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2009

    Hi sukiann,  thanks for clarifying that for me, i thought it was different but wasnt sure, there is so much too learn about bc and every thing that goes with it and learning what the abbreviations all mean but iam getting there. I was negative for the braca 1 and 2 but i have a genetic variant of uncertain significance in my genes and they are going to pay for my daughte to have that test to, to see if she has that as well so they can figure it all out, if its weird and rare usally that me!

    love and hugs

    debbie

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2009

    thank you isabella for letting me know about the laxatives, i wll go get some tommorrow thanks for the support

    love and hugs

    debbie

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2009

    Hi barbie, iam so glad you leaned on your husband and got the support you needed, i finally broke down to my husband last night and we both cryed, he is a great guy and i will lean on him as much as i can to help me get thru this, god bless

    love and hugs

    debbie

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2009

    Hi Neila, i am glad to hear that this is not true, i was thinking hmmmmm.. are we to old to worry about ha! It was on one of the post here that someone made that comment, maybe i read it wrong, thanks for your help

    love and hugs

    debbie

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2009

    Hi Gerry, you are so right, i realized last night that every one was afraid to talk to me because i was being so strong they didnt want to make it worse and thought i didnt want to discuss it with them and they felt shut out, i guess i was trying to be a hero or marter?/ or somthing and i feel bad about that now, because i do want there help and support too.

    love and hugs

    debbie

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November 2011

    Hi gmp300, ohhhh thank you so much for your kind words when you are feeling the same too and took the time to comfort me, i know every one here is going thru hard times and you all are so helpful, hopefully you read where they said to make sure i get some laxitives for after surgery because we will need it. I know what you mean about summer coming up i keep thinking about how iam going to look and feel, i lloked on line for bathing suits and they have some with built in bras so that may help. I pray every night to get thru this and i know i will and so will you and every one else going thru this i will pray for you, and i will be thinking of you on tuesday as well god bless, i hope i will talk to you soon, be strong

    love and hugs

    debbie

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  • carol1949
    carol1949 Member Posts: 562
    edited April 2009

    Hi Debbie,  Like so many of the others have said, the surgery isn't bad at all, though it certainly is normal to have some concern.

    As for the the chemo, normally, the criteria is size of the tumor and/or presence in the lymph nodes.  It doesn't look like your tumor was large, so perhaps it was in your lymphs?  The problem we have w/ our medical world is we have "NO" tests that show if cancer cells are presence elsewhere until they become tumors. So, in many instance, the chemo would be a "cover your butt" thing.  Having said that... I would encourage you do to much research prior to your decision and remember it is "YOUR" decision.

    I had a very large tumor and positive lymphs, and an oncologist who is a personal friend, so I trusted her, but I also did lots of research on my own!  There is an abundance of helpful info on there and knowledge is power!

    My single mastectomy was very easy... very little discomfort.  I only took tylenol the first day, maybe 2,don't recall, but then nothing other than an occassional ibuprofin.

    I kept a journal every morning even of the fears and negative thoughts I had and then I trashed them... giving them to the universe and allowing myself the time to focus on healing.  I also listened to music that spoke to my heart. Whatever you like!  There is evidence of studies showing that music is healing.  I listened to a healing tape a friend gave me the night prior to and morning of surgery.  My surgeon said I could listen to it during surgery if I wanted, so I asked him what he was listening to and he said, "70's rock!  I said, I can deal with that!!  So, I went with what he was comfortable with!  You also want your surgeon to be comfortable in his work environment!

    Best wishes... my prayers are with you!  YOU WILL BE FINE!!

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  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 886
    edited April 2009

    Debbie...(((HUGS))) thinking of you tonight and wishing you sound sleep and a speedy recovery!!

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  • carol1949
    carol1949 Member Posts: 562
    edited April 2009

    It is Wednesday, and I am sure hoping you are feeling as well as I did post surgery.  Please check in when you feel up to it and let us know how you are doing.  Meanwhile... know that you are in our thoughts and prayers, Debbie Kiss

    Take time to rest and listen to your body.  In time you will feel your strenght return!

    Hugs,

    Carol

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited April 2009

    Debbie, just to let you know you are in our prayers. 

    Hugs

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