What did your loved one do/leave behind?

When my brother knew his time was near, he would call and talk to me for hours about whatever was going thru his mind.  When I got "the call" that he was in the ICU and not going to make it..I went straight up there. The nurses were preparing to put a tube down his throat. Before they did my brother told them he wanted to talk to me first, as he wouldnt be able to speak once the tube was inserted. He looked up at me and said " I love you and I love Bob (my hubby) and all your kids and I have had the best sister that anyone could ever ask for...I love you"   . He died before the tube was ever removed. What better gift for me than to have my brother's last words to be that he loved me? He left me with a heart full of good memories. I have always been so grateful that he made sure and certain that I knew he loved me and my family. No matter what we do or go thru with our families..we must make sure they know that our love is boundless and we will always love them. Personally I set alot of stuff out..things like little gifts my kids gave me over the years and pictures from good times we had. My family loves seeing those things and it makes them know that I treasured every phase of their lives. Hugs, Mazy

Oh Saint, you are a Saint indeed.  I have been sitting here thinking about your post, and you brought a smile to my face.  About two years ago my mother sent me a package in the mail.  It was an envelope filled with happy memories.  I was suprised to recieve this, as my mother rarely sent me letters and such, other than birthday cards.  In the envelope were old drawings and stories that I created from grade school, various report cards, pictures from when we were little, my baptismal certificate, health records, and It's a Girl birth announcements.  She kept everything!!  What fun I had going through the package, and sharing with my own kids.  Now that I think about, she must have known that she was not well back then,  she didn't really know what was wrong with her, but she knew.  I am guessing that it was her way of preparing.  I never thought of that until now.  These are just material things, most important, what I will cherish is my mothers love and devotion to her family, and her never ending attitude to be happy with what you have now, and to never complain about what you don't have.  Now, of couse, my mother is still with us, but we know she will be in heaven soon, and it is a sad time, but it is also a time of sharing and remembering.  She still has a box full of memories here, and we've been digging through it lately.  Happy memories!   God Bless!

My Daddy in Sept of 2007 was fine..he went in for a bypass on his leg. Came out and a month later started losing weight and all, then he fell...Took him to doctors, found out he had hepatitis. How he got this, we have no idea, we suspect when he had the bypass. At any rate it turned into liver cancer, having lost Mom 10 yrs prior who he was married to for 50 yrs, he told us he wouldn't fight it, he was lonely, he missed Mom and wanted to be with her. So in less then 3 months he went from healthy to being gone.

This is more of what I wish they would have done. While I realize that a funeral is for the living, and they're not really at the gravesite, it's more comforting to have closure and a place to go where you can at least feel you're visiting them. My parents both went the "Donate the body to science" program to save "us" from spending all that money, etc, etc...Sure they have a lot where the ashes are buried, but there are like 50 people in one plot..how are you supposed to know exactly where your loved one is? I just really hate this. I wish they would have had a funeral and a gravesite to go visit them at. My brothers both feel the same way. We did have a memorial for Dad, but saying goodbye to a picture is not the same thing.

The thing my Dad did leave me was his eternal friendship, we were best friends when he passed.

Love, Hugs and Prayers

Deb

Oops Barbe reminded me, I do have my Mom's engagement and wedding rings.they go to my daughter when I pass on...........

Have you ever thought of sewing the hankies together and make a pillow or wall hanging from them?

My mom took all my dad's ties and made the most beautiful wall hanging from them!

Hey Daughter,

Are you sure the ring wasn't removed before the final closing of the casket? It is quite common here for the deceased family member to wear the jewelry, etc for viewing purposes only and then the funeral director usually is the one who removes it and gives it to the husband or etc.

Florik, the hankies are just small regular hankies..I have another hankie from my great grandmother and I had thought of making them into something but I have 3 kids...so it may be best to leave them as is and then they each can have one..LOL that way they wont fight.

Saint..this is great..thank you

My Mom died two years ago.  She was so very special in every way.  She wasn't much of a collector and "things" were not very important to her.  Before she died she gave me her wedding and engagement ring, and she gave my sister her pearl necklace and earrings.  Those were the only valuable jewelry pieces she had. 

I had the rings taken apart, the gold melted down into a heart shape, and the diamonds set on the heart.  While Mom was still alive, I gave the necklace to my daughter at Christmas with Mom there.  Both of them were so very happy.  You would have thought I gave them each a million dollars.  The last year of my Mom's life my daughter would visit with her and take notes on her life.  I have those notes and hope to get them into some kind of order and get them typed up for everybody.

Mom also gave me a few beautiful serving pieces in heavy crystal.  I treasure those and will pass them on.  When my Dad died Mom passed on a few of his treasures.... an old German clock, a ring and a 100 year old billards table to my sons. 

My family share one piece of furniture....an antique hand turned cherry crib.  On the bottom there is a brass plate and every childs name gets engraved on it once they have slept in it.  Five generations to date!  This simply gets passed on for safe keeping to the family with the newest baby.  It truly is cherished.

I have a letter from my Dad.  The only one he ever wrote me.  He congratulated me on making hte deans list in college. 

Sorry for rambling.  I'm glad my Mom passed on some things while she was still alive, and I'm doiing the same.

Carol

I have a few things from my grandparents...a picture that was hanging in their living room.  I love this picture and it now hangs in my guest bedroom.  And I have my grandmother's cook book complete with some clipped out newspaper recipes.  And a bell from my grandfather.  From my other grandmother, a sliver cross necklace.  I cherish all of these items.

I will tell you that at one time my grandfather moved to AZ and due to a condition could not write letters (before cell phones).  He would tape record a letter and send it home, and then my mom (and siblings) would tape record one in return.  My uncle kept these and burned some CDs for us...I love listening to my grandfather on long road trips.

When my husband's mother passed about 18 months ago, the step father did not give him any thing.  He sold everything.  My husband did take a small bird that he found in her jewelry box and kept a plate that she sent home one with some food on it.  He uses it often. 

Pam,

Try taking a tape recorder over to your Dad's and just start reminiscing..I had an aunt who often told stories and some of us would take notes. She remembered alot of details such as fetching water from a pond, how the fences were built back then etc. You all have some really neat ideas. Hugs, Mazy

" questions printed on each page for her to answer for my dd. Things like: what was your favorite candy; first kiss, best movie etc. I LOVE reading it--but she never got very far into it b4 she couldn't do it anymore"

Very good point Saint.

That is one thing that really bums me out about my Mom.  I dont know the answer to so many of those simple questions like that.  Her Favorite color, favorite song, food, etc.

I forgot I started a list of my Answers to simple things like that for my Kids...I have no Idea where it is- Ill have to restart it.

Thanks Mazy,

We have thought about taping my Dad.  We only seem to see him at his house  a few times a year & then its always a Holiday.  We need to make point to visit just to hear & tape stories.

Pam

I remember feeling that way when my grandfather died. I just knew when I woke up that morning. A sense of peace that he was gone washed over me.  During the week he was in the hospital, my stomach was in knots. It wasn't that I was afraid he was going to die, it was the frickin process.

My mother died of lung cancer about five years ago.  The one thing I really appreciated is that her will was very simple and clear.  My sister was the executor of her estate and the clarity of the will made things much easier.  

My mom was not into possessions, so her will didn't mention any items other than her financial assets and house.  There are a few items that my stepdad has that I am would like to get at some point.  One is a painting of my mom as a young girl, probably about 13 .  The other things I am interested in is her running journals (she was a marathon runner).  I haven't asked my stepdad about the painting or the journals but I will at some point. 

When my sister was cleaning out my mom's house, she found some family photos.  She had copies made for all of us (I am one of four daughters).  My stepdad made a memory book and gave us all copies.  There were some pictures of my mom that I had never seen, including one of her drinking beer on a beach with some young men in Mexico.   

Im so sorry to hear about your Sister Lucy.

Unfortunately alot of Fights & broken families do occur after a loved on dies.

My Mom was cremated.  Her Best Friend Found a Big Fat Vase that had a Cover.  It had Hummingbirds on it.

After we buried my Mom- we all came back to our House.  And For the 1st time ever in our yard We saw a Hummingbird Flittering around my Flowers.  it was a wonderful Feeling.

Years & years went by before we saw another hummingbird.

Last Sept  just days before My Exchange Surgery I saw a Hummingbird outside my Window..Right here where I sit now.

It brought such Peace over me.

Pam

My mother died on March 7.  She made a list as to who would get what jewelry.  All of her bric-a-brac will be distributed among us upon the death of my father.

She left me some beautiful jewelry - I look at it and just think, "Thanks, Mom."

I left her bedside at my dad's urging and she died that night at the hospital.  Dad managed to get there on time because they called him and told him she would be gone shortly, but he would not let me or my daughter come with him.  Now I feel horrible about leaving her there alone - she would never have done that to me. 

Desdemona - I do not think anyone as loved as your mother was alone... she knew that your heart was in that room even if you weren't.