Starting chemo January 2009?

Well, I managed to keep my counts up and was able to have my treatment today.  The treatment I missed last week just goes away, so I am 1/3 finished with Taxol.  My hemo is at the same level as last week, so it appears this last transfusion is lasting a bit better than the first.  My onc did tell me today that he was a bit worried about me because of these fluctuating levels.  He will watch carefully and perhaps change dosage or may have to skip additional treatments.  Tomorrow I have to begin giving myself Neupogen shots for 3 days following each tx. 

Kim, you are right about the best gift to give your kids.  I have two sons.  My oldest is 43 and youngest is 38.  Keeping positive and strong for them helps me also.  I want to be around to see my grandchildren graduate high school and get married.  I want to be a great grandma some day.  My oldest grandson is 16, youngest 14.   They both belong to my youngest son.  Oldest does not have any children.  

There are so many emotions attached to this journey we are all on.  It is difficult to keep them all sorted out.  One day I am so afraid I won't get through it and the next I know without a doubt that I will.   It's crazy.  

Anyway, Jewels, you are all awesome.  I am pretty tired and unable to identify each and every one of you, but for those who have completed tx, congratulations.   For those of us still having challenges, stay positive and we will get through it.   Sorry that some of you have had to have tx delayed because of other health issues.  Keep your chin up.   WE WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

Wow Phyllis we have exactly the same thnig  minus the bladder infection I somehow missed that one lol.  Glad you are home and recovering.  I am on day 6 today so hopefully I too will be home soon.  This is most definitely been worse than chemo.  I have never been so sick in my life.  Do you feel guilty about it?  I can not help but think I am somehow responsible for it by not being careful enough or trying to do too much or whatever.  Doesn't help to feel guilty I know, but the feeling is there. 

 The doctor said yesterday we will try taking off the oxgen again today and see what happens.  Starting to talk about sending me home with oxgen. That would be okay with me I think.  Really makes me feel old though.  Of course, just being sick makes me feel old.  I have had the pleasure of good health all my life so for some reason sick and old are tied together in my head.

Had a little boy from my class come to visit me at the hospital.  He was so cute.  His mom tried to prepare him and told him I might look funny but that I would look the same as always when I came back to school.  So he tells me his mom said I might look funny but he wanted to come to see me anyway so  he could tell me he hopes I don't die!  Out of the mouth of babes...I thought his mom was going to have a stroke.

The amount of cards, flowers, candy, prayers and visits I have received from friends, relatives, coworkers, students and their families has been overwhelming to me.   I never kneweveryone cared so much about me.

Lady just came in to draw blood.  gotta go.

Patti

ladyjane54-I certainly hope you will be home soon. I was also on oxygen for a couple of days only because I had this dry hacking cough and couldn't catch my breath. I felt really guily ending up in the hospital. I hadn't been feeling good for a few days until last Wed. when I tried to get out of bed, I could barely walk. I had to call my husband at work and he called the doctor and told him to get me in asap. I just feel like if I would have called the doctor sooner, I wouldn't have been in the hospital. But my wbc count was down to 70 and took 3 days just to get to 400. By the time I got to go home I was over 2000. I'm feeling a little better. I'm sleeping well. I just have no energy. I walk very slow. I'm hoping to fully recover in a couple of days. I will be praying for your recovery. Being home is the best place to be.

I'm so happy for all of you that are done. What happens next? I have to wait until Apr. 10th for my first taxotere.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Hi! Had #5 of 12 taxols this am. Almost half done. I'm not even including the past ACs in the equation. In some ways I feel like Jan and Feb were "lost months," but on the other hand I think it was my first chance to really process diagnosis, surgery, chemo, the future. As tired as I was a lot of the time, I realize now that having that time for me was good, and I was able to be there more for my family and me too.

My onc today said, oh tx #4 of taxol, and since I was in my benadryl haze I almost agreed. But actually almost leapt out of my chemo chair to grab the chart--NO. He realized the nurse hadn't written down a tx. So we are on the same page.

LadyJane54--I misread and thought you were home. Hope you do get home ASAP, and it sounds like you're getting good care and I hope you're home for the birthday day. That love you are getting from everyone when you need it most is so great. (And yup, before my surgery students in one class raised hands to give me "good wishes." one was "I hope you don't die.")

I know what you mean about the guilty. I'm so prone to feeling guilty, to the point of apologizing for getting breast cancer. Crazy thinking!! I think we just need to do what we feel at the time is best for us physically and emotionally. I barely got tx today as I had 99.4, and I didn't even tell them I'm getting a sore throat again...I don't want them to tell me not to work, because those kids' hugs and (most) of my co-teachers' and parents' support is invaluable.

Brenda--SO GLAD you were able to continue with tx and you don't have to "make up" the one you missed. I hope those neupogen shots work for you. During AC I had 3  or 4 of those in a row, and they did help, and the SEs were less than the Neulasta. Wishing you no SEs.

Renrel--I just get the steroids in my IV drip. Onc. will cut benadryl and steroid in half next time. I hope I don't get allergic reaction.

Well, dinnner's on. HUGS, kim

 Ladyjane - It is wonderful how the little ones just say what is on their mind, so long as we as adult can filter out our expectation of what is proper.  And I think it is wonderful that he wanted to come visit you in the hospital.  What a kind soul he must have to be so thoughtful at such a young age.  How did you do without the oxygen yesterday?  Any word on when you can go home?

Year of the Hat - How did you PC visit go? 

Plutz - How is your energy today?  

 LisaLisa - I have noticed that while I have not been actually nausous I have been more queasy with later treatments and more indigestion.  I think it is just the cheme beating up on a system that had been beat up a few times before.  I hope you feel better soon. 

BerkelyKim - Glad you are reaching toward the end! 

Hi my jewels!  I am having a tough day.   The nutrition consult was good and I am anxious to share some of the info in case anyone else can use it but I am just not up for it tonight.  After the consult, or maybe before, I forget now, I picked up two more head coverings for summer.  They both can go under the hat I bought and I got a card to give me 10% off purchases.  Wish I bought one of those about 3 months ago.  I knew the $10 would be worth it but didn't want to admit I am a gift shop junkie and did not know it is good in the boutique.  After the hospital I went to the store for 2 items and instead walked the ailses to see what else we might need.  By the time I was done it was 3pm, I had not eatten lunch, I had not been drinking much and I felt weak tired and my knees were seriously acking.  I went home.  Unpacked the stuff that needed refrigeration or the  freezer.  Made myself some lunch and took off to pick up DS.  There was traffic and my knees were feeling worse.  Luckily DS was in a good mood so no fuss at pick up.  He wanted to go to the park on the way home and I said I was not up for it. He said he would find someone to play with at the park so all I had to so was sit and watch, which he has never suggested or offered before, but still I needed to go home and rest. I felt bad.  Luckily we were not home too long before DH got home.  So I climbed into bed and DH took care of making dinner and then they ate alone while I napped.  I later joined them for bedtime snack, feeling a bit better after some motrin but as I watched TV while DH did bedtime routine my knees started hurting some more.  I also feel moody and my appettite is down and my taste buds are worse then usually.  I just want to be left alone to read or nap in bed or watch something mindless on tv.  But the house is a mess and while this is not unusual it is bothering me and I want to neated but I am too tired.  I did a bit of guided imagary in bed and it helped a bit but not as much as usual.  I am going to head to bed for the night very shortly but did want to stop by and see how every one else was doing and give an update.  Even the usually upbeat jewels can have bad cranky days. (LOL)

I read the new articles on the home page before checking in here.  There is one about a study on metatastic bc that suggest it may be very important to have a biopsy if lord forbid any of us find ourselves with such a diagnosis.  In this one study of 29 woman 16 of the sites thought to be metatatic bc were either not metatatic bc or the hormone or HER2 status had changed which obviously changes what the prefered treatment would be.  I hope this information is never of use to any of us but I wanted to make sure all of you were aware of the study just in case.  

Renrel - Sorry you had a tough day.  I napped all evening and am up now.  This treatment is temporary and I am sure people around each of us all understand that to some degree.  I feel bad because spring is in full bloom and the dog is not being walked as much as she needs to be.  I plan to take her tomorrow if I have any energy at all. Th ewalk will be good for me.

I had chemo today - nothing to report there.

My PS is so good.  We looked in the mirror and I pointed out all my picky detail things.  He had comprehensive and candid answers for all my concerns and drew a few diagrams for me.  He's done this kind of work for so long.  I feel he can and will take care of all my concerns.  Again, he also reviewed my path report because I was wondering why radiation was discussed initially by my onc, then dropped from the program.  He told me the path report was "all high five stuff" with a 'geeze why are you worrying' air.  He said if the onc isn't really sure rads are needed, then don't do it...the long term effects on tissues are not worth it.  I realize this is a PS talking and I will talk to my onc about it but that really did ease my mind.     

Hope you get restful sleep and feel better tomorrow - everyone

Oh Misty--I'm sending you big hugs and hope for your son to improve while in the hospital and to move up to #1 on the donor list RIGHT NOW! I hope tomorrow will bring clarity about whether you should tell your older son. I know you don't want to worry him but he might be a big support to you both, at least to talk with on the phone. Life is not fair, and right now I am feeling so angry that you are going through this and will keep the 4-letter words to myself.

We are here to listen to you.

Misty, please keep us updated.  I hope a liver comes in for him soon.  It must be so hard wondering at what point to call your older son.  I hope the next call is to tell him a liver is coming for Malcolm

Misty, my heart goes out to you.  I will keep Malcolm in my heart and thoughts through out today wishing him strenth and healing and praying that he  moves to the top of the transplant list.  It is wrong that you have to deal with both of these issues at the same time. Just wrong.  I will also be keeping you in my heart and thoughts as you do your best to care and pray for him.  I can't imagine going through what you have the last few months. 

Michele 

Misty:  My heart is breaking for you.  So sorry to hear Malcolm is not doing well.  I have requested prayers for him again on several prayer chains in my area.  Hopefully you'll have good news to report soon. I can not imagine a worse nightmare than losing or even thinking you might lose a child. May God bless you and comfort you at this difficult time.  Patti

Misty - If you stop by here I would love it if you could either post or PM me talking just a wee bit about Malcolm.  What he looks like, what he is like (introvert, extrovert, into sports, into punk rock, whatever makes him him.  Something for me to think and focus on about while I pray for him.   

I'm praying for Malcolm....

Misty, thinking of you and Malcolm.  Words cannot express how sorry I am you are dealing with all of this.  Please know we are all here for you, and please keep us updated.  Hoping for some good news soon, I hope everything turns around and you start getting good news in days and weeks ahead. 

Hi, I am new to the chemo forum, but am going to see my oncologist Monday to find out if I will have to go on chemo, and I am SCARED TO DEATH!!!   I am considered in the "gray area". I had a bi-later mast. with recon. on Feb.20th. My tumor was 1cm, my cancer was estrogen and progesterone positive, my HER 2 NEU was negative ( which I know that part is good ) but what their concerned about is my Oncotype score, which was 27 before any meds.  I guess that is what puts me in the " gray area ".  I dont know what to do??  HELP!!

Renrel, thank you for taking the time to write to me, I appreciate it!!  You are right about being on the wrong thread, I wasnt even paying attention, just reading alot.  I made a new one in the new topic, so hopefully that is a little better.  Again thanks!