Healthy 86 year old wants to refuse radiation

Wow--that's a tough one.  I just went through the opposite situation with my 80 year old bedridden father who had metastatic lung cancer and insisted on putting himself through chemo to prolong his life a few months.

You sort of have to respect her wishes.  Maybe you could take her to get a 2nd opinion and if she likes or respects the 2nd doctor better, might be willing to follow his advice?  I've found, at least with my elderly relatives, they are very trusting of doctors they "like," so if you find the right one, maybe he/she could persuade her.  Otherwise, you are sort of stuck because they are adults and have the right to choose their own treatment.

I wish you much luck with this.  It is wonderful that you are taking such an active and loving role with your mother in law.  Please keep us posted as to what happens.

My eighty year old mother chose to do radiation on the tumor on her spine,  they burned her intestines and she died rather quickly,  which was a blessing since she was so sick from the radiation. I wish now she had left it alone, we would have had her here longer, and maybe not so sick?  Tough decision, but it is ultimately hers to make.  Tami

 When they found a grapefuit sized tumor in my grandmother's abdomen, she was very emphatic that she wouldn't have any surgery, rads or chemo.  She was 83 and it was metastatic colon cancer. I understand completely why she didn't want to go thru any chemo or radiation (had other medical issues as well), but sometimes I wish she  had at least  had the tumor removed surgically, as she was in a great deal of pain as it grew larger and compressed other organs. But it was her decision, and we had to respect that.

Anne

Difficult decision as to how to proceed/advice.

My 82 year old BIL was diagnosed with jaw cancer and they wanted to do a huge surgery--replacing part of his jaw bone with bone from his leg, chemo, and radiation.

He said are you kidding?  So I can live to 88, miserable, learning to talk and eat and walk again?  Forget it--I have had a great life, and I will continue untill my maker calls me back home.

We were all devistated with his decision, but he was stubborn and we had no influence on him.

So, here we are, five years later, he is 87 and can still talk, eat and walk.  Yes, he has a "lump" on his jaw, but other than that, he is doing fine.  Macular degenertion is his biggest problem at this point.

It taught me a great lesson that we are each totally in charge of our own health care decisions.  Period.

Big hugs to you in supporting your MILin whatever decisions she feels are best for her.

The radiation usually does not make people sick, In my Mother's case she was so sick because her intestines had been ruined from the radiation.  Older people just don't tolerate stuff like that very well. Their tissues etc. are so much thinner.  Has she thought about surgery?  Definately let her try the estrogen blockers, that might do the trick... Good luck,  Tami

My 85 year-old mother in law did the same thing! She was determined that this was what she was supposed to die of. We had to respect her wishes, although it devastated my father-in-law (they were married over 50 yrs) and DH.

However, her family doctor talked her into taking tamoxifen (a hormonal), and she was able to enjoy her granddaughter for a year longer than originally estimated.

Good luck - I know how hard this can be

Sue

at 90 she doesn't have estrogen!! Or much left...her cancer is too far gone if spread to her spine...my mother was diagnosed at 89 with tumor bursting out of her breast...she had me she did not want..had some chemo, but then it spread to brain and spine. Nothing helped.

This post is from 2009. Little late to be helpful! I am sorry to hear about your mother.

My mom passed away last month, roughly a year after being diagnosed with advanced endometrial cancer. She was 82 at diagnosis and generally healthy. She too refused chemo right off the bat, but agreed (very reluctantly) to external beam radiation, about 25 sessions as I recall. Within a month of the end of rads, she began experiencing multiple pelvic bone fractures though she had not had osteoporosis. She also had extreme fatigue and a "not well" feeling that began midway though rads and never resolved. The last 9 months was a horror show of pain management. And as it turned out, we discovered that the cancer had metastasized to her lungs during one of her hospitalizations for the pelvic fractures. That had likely happened before treatment even started, but her surgeon and radiologist had not done a PET, only a CT which they said showed a couple of small non-concerning lung nodules. Had we known about the metastasis (the PET would have given a good inkling), we would have never consented to the radiation which brought her (and us) nothing but intractable pain rather than a decent last year or two with her family. I agree that you should go with her wishes with a caveat: if the tumor is close to breaking through the skin, and she and her docs think she could get through simple mastectomy, agree with simpsojc that you may want to consider surgery in order to avoid having to do wound management of a fungating tumor. And even at her age, the anti-hormonal meds may help with the spinal tumor if she is highly ER/PR positive and cares to try them.