**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

I went on the FACEBOOK site. I start the 12 weeks of weekly treatments of Taxol and Herceptin March 25th.  I have already had 12 weeks of FEC.  No surgery yet.  My onc says 12 weeks of FEC, followed by 12 weeks of Paclitaxol and Herceptin, then masectomy in early July.  They haven't mentioned radiation yet.  I am going to Siteman Cancer Center in St. Louis.

So far, chemo chews, neulasta chews harder, and the fact that my onc dismisses my onco dx score of 11 because of 1 micromet node and the fact i'm not post-meno chews the hardest. Do i have the only dr who completely disregards onco dx testing?

Dear ann-idiot, your humor makes me smile everytime you post.  Your board name is wonderful.

No, your doctor is not the only one -  from what I read on the boards.  That said - he or she should give you their professional reason as to why they do so in your case.

Is it age, stage, nodes, ... what professional organization does he/she affiliate with?  Does your doctor stay in the loop?  I don't want a Maverick, you give me the information, numbers, your professional experience, your opinion, and then we talk.  You and I.  We talk.  We listen, and if I see you don't give me the level of respect I'm giving you... relationship breech.  Disembark.  I'll show myself out.

There is a rock song from when I was in high school by the Beastie Boys (go ahead and laugh, people.)  A line said, "You gotta fight - for your right - to partyyyyyyyyy!"  Well, you have to fight for your right to your information.  David Horowitz doesn't currently have his own show for us to watch - he needs us to stoke up our own individual torch.  Your doctor isn't a "tool" or a "god," he or she is your partner in improving and maintaining your good health.  Partners have to have a level of trust.

Love in Christ,

Sessna1

Wow it takes time when you skip a day or two to catch up You girls are wonderful. I had my DD bridal shower today that I posted about last week. I can't think of  one thing that could have been better. I was worried because I woke up yesterday and knew it wasn't going to be a good day. And it wasn't NO energy at all. I gave up all plans of making food. It was a total success! I realized again what wonderful friends I have.

Not many of you talk about expander pain. Is that just not a subject for this forum (I know there is on dedicated to it) or am I the only one that still needs percocet to get thru the day from the pain?

best wishes to those having cocktails today.

Nydeb & Alyad  Love the bald, you guys look completely great. What a compliment to be told you look 12 again!

sakura that haircut is awesome! I think it is even better than your long hair and makes you look even younger! Nice to know you can rock short hair when it starts growing back!

ann-idiot my onc also disregards oncotype dx if you are premeno, under 45, or have any node involvement. I was getting chemo before I was even staged JUST because of my age. I need it anyway, but I would have maybe argued it if my results had been different (say under 1 cm).

Speaking of arguing things with my onc (I am SUCH a difficult pt, lol) I talked my way out of my Neulasta shot after tx #2 and convinced him to wait a week. Well, Friday I went for labs feeling really good and energetic. My WBC had dropped from 23,000 to 1000 in that week. And somehow, despite eating all kinds of crap, I lost 6 pounds and my BP was about 99/70. Oops. So I won myself a shot. And I had not taken premeds cuz I felt so darn good I didn't think for a second my WBC would be anything but fantastic.

Then, if you read my earlier post, I worked my butt off all weekend on projects around my house including lifting and carrying heavy boxes/furniture, etc. Last night my lower back and hips felt like fire!!! Flaming pain, right across the midsection. I took Claritin and Advil and slept ok, but this morning again, fire! I guess my bone marrow is hard at work, but oh, all that is holy it hurts! And I have to stand at work for a large portion of the day. So lesson learned: get the shot after chemo and take the darn claritin!!

Sigh. I always have to try and talk my way out of things. I am newly humbled.

Good luck to all getting cocktails today! Francine and knowledge, good luck on #2!!! I have the Feel good, look better class finally today, hope I get free goodies!

momgovero  Welcome to the FB site!!!!

kellerka Glad the party was a success.....as for foob pain...I haven't even gotten there yet.  I had my mastectomy first and will reconstruct at a later date...I don't even know what I am doing yet but am sure pain will be involved at some point. 

sakura I saw your pictures at 3AM and WOW you look wonderful....I sat up thinking I should go get a cute cut even if it will only last a few more days.  Glad you are happy with your wigs, too.  I think I will like mine when my kids aren't pulling it off....OH and everyone, I have to go back to that wig store and take a picture of all the display wigs.....The display dummys all had SANDRA BULLOCK's face on them.  OMG I forgot to tell everyone that last week.  I had a hard time looking past her when I was trying them on.

Ann Idiot Get a second opinion.....I did and am glad I did.  The first one really wanted me on AC Taxol.......when I went back 3 weeks later for my oncotype score (28 which is where he thought I would be) he back tracked and said that there was a study comparing TC to AC and that he now felt comfortable with me being on TC so seek out that second opinion....you will feel better.  You have some good prognosticators going for you either way and you will beat this!  Good luck!

gymmom8 Cyndi... I am still right there with you on the hair....day 13 for me and I am getting a few signs that the hair may just start falling out in clumps all over the place...I hope I am at home when all the madness starts!

Monday Chemo Warriors You are in my thoughts today....wishing you well.

Did anyone get the breakdown of their tumor size?  My tumor was 2 cm but I had 70% IDC and 30% DCIS so I was put into Stage 1....just curious.  That helped me make my decision, too regarding the chemo options.  I still feel like chemo is housekeeping but being under 50 and pre menopausal there is not enough data yet to say if chemo is of benefit or not......according to my onc if I were to have been DX 15 years ago they would have done the mast with no chemo....then a year later cancer society recommended chemo for someone like me so they actually called back women to see if they were interested in chemo a year later....so this is how we got to where we are now.

Francine....no port in?  I have had mine 2 weeks now and am tired of ALL the itching.  UGH.  Good luck today....you are probably on your way now.

Now, this is related, but only as a second cousin to this board.  There are people still straggling on the other board lead by our gracious previous leader.

All that is necessary for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing - or for everyone to keep silent.  I'm not THAT sheeplike, however, we are all sheep.

                                                                    Bed Time Story - Please Sleep on It

There was once a bitter, angry, tired man.  He believed that the government in his country was oppressive and unfair.  He believed that he could rule better.  He wanted to lead people into a system that he could be instrumental in controlling.  He believed that he knew what was necessary to rule his fellow citizens better.  Others who watched him knew he had little discipline of his own over his own person.

The man thought to himself that if he could steal some followers then he could keep them.  He could think of no other way to get valued men of honor to follow him, and he could achieve no other way by his own strength of character.  "Converts and conversions are for clergypersons," he was heard to mutter.  That process takes way too long."

Because he was a bitter, angry, tired man, that lent him to fall under the problems inherent in being a human.  He had flaws in his character and problems with his reasoning.  He was wrong.  He was wrong about a lot of information.  He was not an active student, did not challenge his own ideas, and was comfortable thinking that he was a "good person."  He used the word "good" by his own, self-made definition.  This rendered him unfit to lead and unworthy of trust by his own doing and choices.

His wisdom was not wisdom, but a reaction to the impotence of his honor.  He had no consideration of the big picture from his little world.  He had no respect for others that weren't actively doing something for him in the way that he thought it should be done.

He was no better than those he called, "wrong, bad, and evil."  No.  He was worse than many of them and chose to act under the disguise of a positive cancer in the dark.  My friends, it is hard to trump the label of "manipulator" except by using the "coward" card.

Are you with me so far?

He tried to enlist his own followers, support, and allegiance.  He failed.  His anger was repulsive and failed to compel men around him to action.  No one would be drafted into his service.  If he could have bought slaves, he would have forced them to do his will, but that is another story.

So, he enlisted into the grass roots organization of a popular man.  Being unfit to lead, he decided that he would make a tool out of a real leader to accomplish what he wanted and get his needs met to be a god (lower case g).  He would steal honor from someone else who had earned it.  "The end justifies any means," he was heard to grumble.  "Hmm.  That belongs in a book, I'd say.  I deserve my own scribe."

A manipulative thief will take anything from anyone who isn't nailed down.  To give the illusion of a citizen of trust, he accepted the position of accountant for the grassroots organization.  There really wasn't much money, but when you have no money of your own, a person with any money is better off than you think you are.

In the midst of calamity, a manipulative accountant will run to hide the funds.  He will run far enough and long enough to claim that his life was in danger and that the pressure of hiding the money forced him to spend it upon himself.  He is worse than the man who buries his talent instead of investing it to honor the source and commit himself to the rightful use of the blessing.  As a thing, both "money" and "darkness" are false positives.

In time, a short time, the coward couldn't stand living with himself.  He stole from his Creator and took his own life instead of using it in the service of his Creator for real Truth, honor, and change.  It was the selfish pain to avoid repenting and changing his behavior because the man felt he was not up to that.  It was not fear based, illusionary (i.e., death and suicide hurt all the survivors left behind) selfless pain of despair in circumstance that only a Creator can judge - none of us can.  None of us has that right. 

The coward knew of a definition for the word "leader."  He also knew that he wasn't willing to live by anyone else's definition of any word, place, person or thing other than his own.  The Word was of no consequence to him.

His Creator (The Creator) said to him that he had chosen to, "... neither hear, seek, listen, read, speak of, nor live nor die for Truth."  He was asked, "What place have ye in the universe as a lukewarm spirit and rebellious soul?"  Sadly, and in truth it was necessary, such a place was not created.  There is not enough room in the whole universe for maximum, minimum, and high-security facilities.  The soul of a bitter, angry, tired, foolish man who would not change in his earthly life went to stay in the presence of a bitter, angry, tired, foolish fallen archangel forever.

The spirit of the bitter, angry, tired man thought that was very unfair.  If those around him had not already been wailing so loudly of their own misgivings, they would have laughed him to scorn.

None of them there thought that the consequences of their actions upon others or themselves were funny at all.

Love in Christ to y'all,

Sessna1

For the actual account on the true event, see The King James Bible, the Gospel of Matthew, specifically and not barring the entirely of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), Matthew 23 - 28.

What do you call an agnostic, insomniac dyslexic?

Somebody who stays awake all night wondering if there really IS a dog.

Couldn't resist... Sorry to hear about your reaction. I thought I was over it all when I passed a week. Then all these minor, nasty little symptoms emerged. The mouth. The burning eliminations. The tummy trouble... Odd that the first one was fine. Guess the lesson is that you can never predict the poison. Hang in.

Hello, everyone!

I'm just checking in...had my first of six Cytoxan/Taxotere treatments on the 17th (delayed from original start date due to seroma), and I'm finally past the fatigue...so here I am again!

Besides the fatigue, only mild blanching/flushing the first couple days, mild rash around port, and uggh...constipation. Not enough Colace in the world, apparently...

Still have my hair But here I am six days later, and starting to itch, so I know it's coming eventually. Ah well..

Trying to stay positive and live life as it comes. Trying not to be impatient about how slow the process is. My Txs are every three weeks, so I'm looking at mid-July to finish. Then on to rads.

Hope everyone here is doing as well as can be expected, and maybe even a little bit better than that

Cheers,

Nadine