looking for support

My mom has been diagnosted with stage IV last November and my husband's mom has died from this disease when he was at your age. He is now the one that stands against the hell and helps me. Only he knows. Right now we are the actors and cannot do much. I believe that after the end we will be able to get the answers to our questions for all this hell. Our role right now is to support , give a hugI am feeling left alone and I find myself feelling that noone can help me (not only friends but even my father or my brother) rightnow. However my husband The truth is that all these bad and unbelieving feelings and thoughts are so natural and show a logical person as psycologists say. The feeling that you will allways have bad news is logical because our brain depends on our experiences. However you are very young and the time will help you find your way. I wish you to spend the time that has left with your mom in the better heartfilling way as you are still lucky you have her in your life.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It definately has ill effects on the family. My Mom has Metastatic Breast Cancer, terminal, as it has now spread into her liver, and lungs. She is still able to care for herself, make short trips to the grocery store, etc. I have had a hard time too. I am experincing many of the same emotions you mentioned. I pray constantly for strength, and God is always there for me. I try to live each day as it comes. If Mom wants to go out shopping, or church, then we go. If she wants to visit with friends/family, we visit. I let her lead, and we enjoy one another to the max. I keep everything as positive as I can around her, and I shoulder the responsibility of the doctors, nurses, medicines, Hospice, etc., as much as I am able. The emotions you are feeling are very normal, and expected. Maybe you have someone you can talk with, and express yourself too. I've found it to be a great help, just being able to talk about it all with someone who isn't directly involved.

I am 34 and I thought I was too young to deal with this.  I am so sorry for you and can relate.  My mom was also diagnosed in September with metasatic IBC.  It is hard for us because we can't fix it.  For me, I know my mom just enjoys spending time with me and my sister and I am guessing your mom is the same.  It is great that you found us here because our friends just don't get it.  They don't get how we feel like throwing up every time the phone rings, after every test and before every appointment.  They don't get why we can just cry for "no reason".  It is hard and you really need to try and take time to take care of yourself.  There are lots of women living with all of the problems your mom has.  Search the recurrence and metastatic section of this website, you will be surprised.  Please feel free to send me a message if you want to just talk.  This is so hard for all of us.  Take care.

Sweetie - the most important thing your mom needs is to know that your life is full.  Do make time to spend with your mom, but also make time for yourself and your friends.  Share about your life with your Mom so she will know you are okay.  That's important!  Find a couple of friends you can talk to about your own feelings, cry on their shoulders, scream if you need to.  Your friends will understand and will support you.  Hang in there!