Starting Chemo February 2009?

SUSAN 13!!!!!!!!!!!

congratulations.  love the shirt

OMG, I forgot it was BSG night! So, do you think Daniel is Starbucks dad....? So that would make her the first half cyclon offspring.....Sorry, I am such a geek Glad you are starting to feel better! Hope the Herceptin went well - do you get SE's from it?

Susan - horray for you!! celebrate big tonight - well, probably you won't feel like it for another week or so, but it sure is a milestone day. Actually, I am starting to think this Chemo thing is a bit like labour. I was so miserable through my last FEC, thought it was so awful, but now two weeks have gone, I never have to do another one again, and I am thinking, it wasn't so bad!

Susan Awesomeness...you did it! So nice to see a chemo grad looking all pretty (and happy) in pink.

Apple I am cracking up at your last post. I've never been much for the makeup myself and now I feel so washed out and well, not very attractive... If I could look like your sentence sounds (like great advertising) I think I'd be turning heads... (instead of the bald, biker chick thing I now have going on...that also turns heads...heehee) I think I'm going to give the Look Good, Feel Better thing a try...and maybe buy some new mascara for the eyelashes that are hanging in there... HA. BTW, I am going to be 52 in May...and I think my head bumps are some sort of reaction rash, too...going to my family physician on Monday and will ask him because it is so uncomfortable --I'll let you know what he has to say.

Everybody Had somehow avoided the outrageous chemo farts you were all describing...until...they woke me and my husband up this morning....talk about a rude awakening! OMG. Good thing he loves me. I guess I'll have to close my door at work Monday. (I have been fortunate enough to be able to telecommute through my nadir periods...) 

I am finally BALDish - kind of a buzz cut, which still seems to be growing 14 days after 1st treatment.  And amazingly ---- I'm OK with it!! My new theory is that HAIR IS OVERRATED! After all that whining beforehand, I had a minute of shock, and then I sort of thought it was kind of cool. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have wished for any of this, and I will never be one of those brave women who goes out and holds her bald head high. (Thankfully, I like my wig, and feel more comfortable than I could have imagined going out in it - I'll try to post some pictures if I can finally figure out HOW!) But I've never SEEN my head before, and it's kind of interesting. And kind of strong and well...not unattractive. It's the gray roots that I haven't really seen in 15 years that reallly have me weirded out. Go figure.

Had AC#2 yesterday, and waiting for the crash, which should come tomorrow. 

Webwriter-wow - you 're a walking, talking medical journal.  I'm impressed!  Are the allergic reaction, nail damage, edema, neuropathy all specific to taxol, or do they occur also w/other drugs, like AC?

Jancie-I feel for you with the sleeplessness. It's a horrible feeling when you're needing to sleep so badly, and your body just won't let you. Also, sleep is the best escape from the sick feeling after chemo, so you need to find some solution. Hope your oncologist is compassionate, and can help you find it. 

Michele-I have Ativan .5, too, but was told that it's fine to double it if necessary. I really have found it helpful on occasion, and it relaxes me, but doesn't make me feel "loopy".

Kathy-Can't believe you took your laptop to chemo! Yay for you to have your first Tx behind you, finally! 

Kristine-Glad you're feeling better. Sinus infections suck; I've had more than my share, but can't really imagine on on chemo! 

KerryMac-It's amazing how unpredictable friends' responses can be to a diagnosis of cancer. You learn so much about people that you assumed you knew well, when this journey begins. I've felt blessed by all the love and support from many corners, and having gotten truly close to new friends because of it. But it really just does freak some people out to such an extent that it paralyzes them - and that's a tough feeling when you're on the receiving end. I hope your coffee   went well, and I hope that your friend had done some soul-searching before having called you.

Sue-Love the photo!  And CONGRATS on your last chemo!  You're almost there - I can already anticipate that that's going to be both scary, and a relief.

Hope everyone is doing OK, and that SE's are at least manageable...

i need to be a makeup queen.. i look so, well. like i need a makeover.  all i've ever used is lipstick, eyepencil and mascara.. i have freckles so i don't like pancake-y foundation but i might need just a tad of a super quality one that isn't made of big particles and is non drying. 

how bout just eye suggestions.. for now.

(mayb i just want to talk about something other than this farting cancer for a day).

Datadrudge,

I just noticed you are in Lake Ozark.  I live in Springfield, but my kids and grandkids are in Jeff City, so until I was diagnosed,I kept highway 54 hot.  Haven't been up that way for several weeks as I'm trying to avoid colds and flu, but after my next chemo, I'm headed north!

 Chooks, all.  Hope you have a restful weekend.  I found an interesting chemo bonnet that doesn't' touch my sore scalp.  It's "bouffant" with pleats, and I got bright pink with a cute ribbon-- wore it today and decided I looked like a cross between "patty cake, patty cake, baker's man" and Holly Hobby (or was it Strawberry Shortcake?).   Oh well, it did the trick.

My friend, Diana, had her MRI last night, now we have to wait until surgeon's appt. Monday...Alas, I'm weary and am going to turn off the light early tonight.   Take care.  Helen

Another sleepless night......that is the story of my life. 

I tried doing some exercise today, walked for 30 min - rode a horse - thought that might help me sleep - NOT!

Started my period again.  I say that because 5 days after TX #1 I started.  Now 8 days after TX #2 I started again.  I thought I was supposed to go into chemopause and instead I am getting it every 2 to 3 weeks? 

Sue - Love the T-shirt, love the Avatar!  Congratulations on completing another step!

Apple - Less is more at least that is what I think when it comes to make up.  I used to wear it maybe 10 times a year but since I got cancer I want to wear it because for some reason I feel better - before I didn't care.  Like you - just a tomboy in t-shirts and jeans.  I don't use any type of liquid foundation - I use a very light coating of powder foundation only.  I have freckles also.  I just never thought it was a good idea to clog up my pores.  I know they make foundation that is supposed to be great as far as not clogging up your pores but that stuff is expensive and I am more of a Cover Girl (cheap) make up girl, that or Max Factor because it is affordable.

Liz - glad you are comfortable with being bald.  I got buzzed a week ago because my hair was coming out in clumps.  I left maybe 1/16" on my scalp - got as close as the clippers would.  That part grew for the next week and FINALLY tonight I started seeing the teeny tiny hairs in my sleep cap and my scalp started hurting really bad again.  So I expect all of that is trying to come out now and I should have a "smooth" scalp by the end of next week?

I like my wigs but I would much prefer my own hair - I haven't been able to embrace my baldness yet but kudos to all of you that have!  I wish I were that brave!!

I talked to another BC person at the Look Good Feel Good class, like me she puts on lipstick and then wipes it all off.  Getting just a tint of color on the lips but not wanting the glossy and slimey stuff feeling.  I don't do anything with my eyebrows but that is going to change since I am getting ready to lose mine so I will attempt to color in fake ones.

My mascara lasts for at least 3 years along with any type of eyeshadow or cheek blush.  At that point in time I just throw it away and get some more.

KerryMac - how did your coffee go with your friend?  I am running into the same thing - tell your friends you have cancer and they disappear off the planet for months and then call.  Just happened to me today, got a call from a friend that wants to "get in touch" and I haven't heard from her in 2 months.  I know it is hard on them because they don't know what to say, what to do and worry about saying the wrong thing but "going away" isn't the support that we need right now.  Don't worry - you got us!!!  We have your back!

Apple - BTW - based on your avatar picture I guess you to be maybe early 30's.  That my dear is a major compliment!!

I took a pain pill about 1 hour ago and that didn't put me to sleep so now I am going to take some benedryl - worried about putting sleep medication on top of Lortab 7.5 mg. 

My PITA horse is doing much better!  I am hoping that she settles into her training that hopefully will start within the next week so that in about 4 months I can start riding her.  It sure is a long wait when you raise them from birth to when you can actually ride them.  She turns 4 years old on April 3rd.  In the meantime I get to ride a gorgeous HUGE gelding who loves to dump me into the dirt on ocassion.

good night ladies - will be back in touch tomorrow evening!

Jancie~ You still up?

Datadrudge~ You might have folliculitis.  Get your onc to check it out.  You might need antibiotics to clear it up.

Kathie~ Hope you're feeling well.  Been thinking about you.

 Sue~ LOVE the t-shirt.  I want one!!! So how does it feel to be our 1st graduate (I think??).  Pls keep hanging around.  We need you...

On being bald... I worried too initially but I'm over it.  It is really a minor part of all of this and the one things I hate are 1. my wig (too much trouble) and 2. not being able to blend in as a "non-patient" since I rarely wear my wig.  I wear scarves everyday to work and go commando at home.

Hey, good morning y'all!

I have had a great read of all the wonderful make-up tips. If we all didn't live so spread out, we could get together and have our own "Look Good" class! Led by Liz! You girls have some great advice. It is funny, when I was younger I used to wear make-up every day, wouldn't go out with-out it. And of course, being young I didn't need it! After I met my husband I stopped wearing it, except on special occasions. He doesn't like it, and also I think I got more confidence in my looks. But sometimes, like now (!!) I am thinking it wouldn't do me any harm to have a bit of coverage. My eye-hairs and really thinning, I am thinking eyebrow pencil will be in my future for sure.....

So, my meeting with my friend yesterday actually went well. It was nice to see her, and she sounded genuinely concerned for me. It is funny, before this whole BC thing, I probably would have been a bit more angry/hurt, now I feel life is too short to hold grudges. I need as many people in my camp, so to speak, as possible. And, I have a couple of amazing friends who I know have been there for me - and a couple of strangers who have become friends because of this. And you guys, whose support I wouldn't manage without! 

It has been very interesting how some people know exactly what to say and do, and others seem at a complete loss. In the future I know I will be more compassionate to others going through tough times, and I have learnt that you really can't say the wrong thing to someone - even just saying "I don't know what to say, this sucks" is enough.

I am also finding it interesting how everyone is so stressed before the hair comes off, then afterwards says "it isn't so bad" It really isn't the end oif the world. I do feel a bit at night that I take myself apart (hair off, boob off!) and then reassemble myself in the morning (hair on, boob on) 

So, Michele, I would be in a quandry too. In one respect being right there in hospital would save stress and worry if you are just going to end up there anyway.  But as you say, hospitals suck and I would hate to be away from the kids. In Canada there is a Home Nursing system - they visited me every day after Surgery to check on my drains and removed them when it was time. After I was so sick with Tx#1, my Onc said if it happened again, she would get a nurse to come to my house and administer IV fluids. Is there any way they could do this for you? I know your system is different, but a solution maybe to get you treated at home.

Anyhow, I hope the sleepless amongst us manage to get some shut eye.And I am wishing everyone a lovely weekend.

living4today~  I haven't had to be admitted yet after a treatment but last time was sooo bad, he just wants to do it to prevent a crash at home.  I love the staff at this hosp too.  During my mastectomy and port (and diagnostic tests) everyone was wonderful and kind.  That's not my worry.  I just HATE the whole inpatient scene...  I'm sorry that you've been having difficulties too.  The low WBC would make me worried. When is your 4th treatment? I got switched to TX12 too... here's to hoping that we tolerate those better!

Kerry~  I'm glad you visit went well.  I agree that some peple just don't know what to say... then they just fade out of the picture.  My DH's siblings did that.  I was offended at 1st but now I just don't care.

MicheleS --bless you! I looked up folliculitus and found pictures and it is EXACTLY what my head looks like. My oncologist ignored my initial complaints so I am going to my family physician on Monday armed with pictures and information. You may just have saved me permanent hair loss. (a possible outcome of extreme, untreated folliculitus --don't worry ladies, you're not going to get this!!!) Thank-God for you and these boards.

Apple: on makeup - Have you done the "Look Good Feel Better" class or do they have it near you? Check your local ACS. I went to a class on Thursday. I confess I used to be a makeup artist when kids were little but it was still fun and they give you TONS of good makeup.

To all on gas, nausea: Went for my mid treatment bloodwork yesterday and asked the PA about it. What she said made such sense. Both may be dramatically helped by Miralax - or other laxative. She said if the bowels don't work well, chemo drugs will hang around longer in the body and so also the nausea. Same with the farts. It's just all that nasty stuff wanting out. She said to start the Miralax a day ahead of chemo and use every day. In thinking about it, I was much more diligent the 1st time since I wasn't sure how I would handle it. It turned out to be more manageable than I expected. Then came # 2 and I let my guard down.

Jancie: I thought I was the only one dealing with incisions opening back up. Sorry to hear you too. My lumpectomy incision leaked for over 7 weeks until the surgeon finally stitched it up. It was pronounced healed last week and then this week it started getting warm and pink. Last night the skin completely broke down and my breast was completely infected. Gross. Fortunately  the PA saw it coming on and gave me an antibiotic. Monday I will be back at the surgeon's office.    

Good Morning, everyone.  Well, on day 3 after AC#2, morning actually began at noon-ish!  

First of all, back to the make-up: as far as eyebrows go, I use both pencils and powders. When eyebrows are sparse, as ours are likely to be, I think a pencil can be easier to apply, and give the illusion of real hairs because of the realistic "lines" you can pencil in. BUT - it has to be a really good pencil, not too soft, the right consistency. That Anastasia one is good for this purpose. Sonia Kashuk - who you can find at Target, also makes some pretty good stuff - but I've never tried her eyebrow products.

OK, moving on from the shallow concerns...Michele - that's a really tough one! I'd be feeling just like you, dreading the idea of going back into the hospital.  Have you done any research on whether you might be able to get some kind of home nursing help, as Kerry mentioned? Where I am, in CT, there are a number of places created by cancer survivors, that provide services like this at almost no charge. Could something like this possibly exist near you? The hospital actually might have this info - so ask them about it. I hope you end up being able to manage as an outpatient, but I've always found that once you're actually in the hospital, you end up coping and adjusting OK - it's all so temporary.

Kerry - Glad it went well with your friend. Yeah, it's amazing how the love and support and presence of all those people around us really lift us up and help us through it. I admire those of you who truly let it go when family members aren't there - that would be hard. I have it to some extent in my family, and it nags at me. 

And yes, I, too, find that when I go take a walk or get outside in nature in any small way, it really helps to center me, and connect me to something bigger and more powerful than all of this. I wish I felt up to walking on more days than I do after treatment.

Hope everyone got some sleep last night, and that today is a good day! 

Michele - i have an 11 yr. old boy.. oh my, he is such a challenge.. such a messy thing and horrible at school but he's smart as can be and just the sweetest thing.  i love  him.

i am sorry about your nausea - that sound awful.