Starting Chemo February 2009?

I have had only 2 rounds of Chemo but I find that around the second week  is when I have been breaking down.  This past time I was sick and when I was in the doctor's office I just layed on the table crying I can't think of 4 more treatments if this is how I am going to feel every time.  My first treatment I had an allergic reaction which caused my face to turn purple/pink and break out, treatment 2 I got a fever which brought out mouth sores and all over body aches.  Hopefully I am finished my share of side effects and next Monday will bring no SE.

 The good news is my doctor just called and my port is okay   There is no bacterial growth in the blood sample they used...

I am about to start treatment 3 and while I have lost 60% of my hair I still have stubs on my head.   Should I expect them gone after next treatment ??

I finally feel human today!  That was a crappy 5 days after chemo - I didn't sail through TX #2 like I did TX #1.

Jaimieh - I couldn't find up at the top what chemo drugs you are on and with chemo fog there is no way in heck I would remember.  If you are on A/C you don't stand a chance of keeping your hair.  On some chemo drugs your hair just thins out about 50% - hopefully you are on one of those drugs.

Dmoore - please post your thoughts on the Look Good Feel Good class - I am going tomorrow and I am anxious to find out more what it is going to be like.  Right now all I can think of is that it is 2 hours long and I can't keep my focus for more than 30 minutes but I am sure the ladies that put it on are aware of chemo fog.

Webby - sorry to hear about your eyebrows and eyelashes.  I know my time is coming and I am on dense dose also - funny that my hairs down south are still hanging around.

KerryMac - when do you start rads?  I was also wondering what type of clothes to wear - I know they should be loose and comfy - very soft but then I also thought about what the heck I am going to do if I get that neuropsy stuff when I do Taxol - how am I going to button my shirts up?

Had to bolt to the bathroom to see if I still had eyebrows - yep....still there

Lisa810 - you still haven't posted about your Look Good Feel Good class!  I have to laugh because that last day before I shaved my head I was pulling hair from the middle of the top of my scalp forward to create bangs under my scarve.  I would comb them to cut them to length and half of them would come out.  My scalp was hurting so bad that I got to the point where I couldn't wait to shave it just to get rid of the pain.  Besides I sort of looked like I had mange.

Liz - most people avoid spicy food when they are nauseated because we are told to eat toast and crackers and soups and all of that bland stuff.  I remember not wanting to eat when I was sick because nothing tasted decent.  I would say if you have a craving for something spicy - go for it.  Just have some Rolaids on hand if it gets to you   I have been eating Tortilla soups, chili, indian food, etc.  I get a little bit of heartburn here and there so I pop some Tums and then all is fine but the food sure tastes great!  In fact the church put together a list of who is cooking what meals for us while I am doing chemo, every Wednesday night and every other weekend (the one after chemo - Sat and Sun) - The lady that put it together passed the word that I was craving spicy foods so that is what we get.

I haven't stopped with the coffee or any other foods.  I figure I am miserable enough that I am not going to worry about totally changing my diet right now.  I did finally buy some raw brown sugar but then again almost on a daily basis I have cinnamon toast with tons of butter and sugar on it - I like it really gooey!  I haven't been as good about drinking water as I was the first round and I think that has a lot to do with me feeling like crap for 5 days after chemo.

I understand the depression issues - it is normal and I believe that most of us go through it.  I sit back and tell myself that I am being stupid for having a pity party when there are Stage 3 and Stage 4 BC women out here having it really rough and I have no right to feel sorry for myself.  I think about the chances of me getting BC again in 5 years, 10 years, etc.  What will I do if it comes back?  BC has changed my personality - some for the better, some for the worse.   What you are feeling is totally normal and I think it is awesome that we can share our most intimate stories with one another.

Kristine - I am no expert but dose dense is like taking 200 mg of a prescription versus 100 mg.  I read somewhere (chemo fog going here) where there have been studies that dose dense chemo decreases your recurrence rate but then again, those are studies and I have no clue how old that study was.  I am on it because we are trying to shrink this 4 CM tumor small enough to where I can do a lumpectomy so the oncologist is hitting me hard with chemo. 

Webbie and others - which page listed the instructions to post pictures?  I know it is some probably 4 to 5 pages back but if someone out there with some focus ability can direct me to the page, that would be great!

Webbie - I understand chocolate week!  In fact whenever my hubby goes to the store for ANYTHING, he always brings me back a LARGE bar of chocolate.  He is a keeper for sure - he knows how to keep my happy when my hormones are raging.  I was so hoping I would go into chemopause and I will be dammed if I didn't start my period 5 days after my first chemo treatment.  Hopefully that is the last one!

Artemis - I think you are feeling the dread of going to chemo.  I have gotten to the point where I take a valium before chemo each time just to calm myself down.  Even though you are aware of what is happening the fact that you are having to do it is dreadful!  Maybe double up your Xanax - take one before you leave the house and then one when you get there?

KerryMac - Why is it that we are gaining weight on chemo these days - other than the steroids?  Like you I go in each time weighing 2 lbs more.  I have decided that for the next 2 days I am going to TRY to stick to a liquid diet and see if I can drop off some of those 10 lbs that I gained.  What ticks me off more is that I will weigh myself before chemo and each time I come back I have gained 4 lbs in 2 hours - that is so not right!!!!  I am definately not as active as I used to be so that doesn't help but dangit when you are feeling like crud the last thing I want to do is walk around the block!  And if I am feeling cruddy I sure don't want to think about watching what I eat!

Ok, I am going to go ahead and submit this and come back in a little bit and get to everyone else.  My focus just went away

Lisa - Oh my gosh!  Hope you are ok!   What is it with the sinus infections!?!  I'm on Ciproflaxin (sp?) and it's not doing anything for me. Hope you feel better!

Ok, I am back!!!

Living4today - So sorry that you have had such a time with illness since starting chemo.  The nurse told me last time that on day 5 is when you have to be so careful as that is when your white blood cell count goes down the most and then the Lunasta shot kicks in and brings them back up.  My hubby is sicker than a dog right now - right on day 5 - just what I need so I have been checking my temperature regularly.  Hope that you don't go through this again!

Nancy - what an attitude!!  I would have been mortified!  I am just now allowing my hubby to see my bald head and actually let him touch it last night for the first time.  I hope that jerk sitting behind you had a huge guilt trip!

Apple - I bow down to you!  I do love your avatar picture that shows a scarf just around the front of your head.  I hope one day I can get to the place you are at with being bald.

Susan13 - Bad enough we have to poison our bodies but the weight gain on top of that?  Can't we somehow get a break?

Terri42 - I need to take up your suggestion and get out of the house.  I am having one of those days where I don't want to go anywhere at all.  Tomorrow I have to leave for an appointment.  Once I get out of the house I am fine but it is finding that motivation to leave to begin with.

Kat4pink - was wondering where you were at!  Glad you are feeling better and finally got your chemo appointment scheduled!

Jancie~ I am on TCH (I don't think webbie every put me up top) which all says hair loss.  I don't care if it stays it just a very interesting pattern and I was wondering if anyone experienced it. 

buddy1, yes they are still sick but on the mend I think. We kept our older daughter home from school today but she seems to be bouncing back. Little one still has a cough but that's about it, her activity level is pretty normal. I'm just hoping I bounce back too. Still no fever though I was chilled last night for a bit, just general aches & chemo fog...which I THINK is normal??

webbie, I PM'd you....tell me if you can see it that way?? I don't know why you can't see it but it's weird because sometimes I can see it & other times I can't. Computers!

Kerry, I have checked out that stage 3 thread, not in the past couple days though. You're right, it's encouraging & heavens knows I need that right about now. Heck, we all do!  It just sucks because before I came "here" to this board I had no idea that my ginormous tumor was, well ginormous! I literally felt that sucker growing. I cannot believe it grew so fast. I just wish someone could figure out HOW you get cancer. I mean, genetics aside, what the heck caused it? Did I stand too close to the microwave too many times? Not rinse off pesticides from fruits/veggies well enough? You know?? I wish we knew how to prevent it.It's so frustrating to me.

Lisa810, glad you're doing better! Hang in there!!

Does Ativan have a sedative in it?? I was thinking of taking one but don't wan't to get spacey while DH is still at work. 

My hair stubble is driving me NUTS!! It's pokes & itches & scratches. I'm dying for it to all just fall out. And yeah, weight gain?? I thought chemo was going to kill my appetite. Dammit! We don't get no breaks, do we?

Hi all, been quiet for awhile but of course keeping up with my nightly reading. So much info out there. Last night I ordered a PlanetBuff head thing. They do look awesome and I hope it will be a functional piece of headwear I can enjoy in all seasons. I wear my wig at work (I teach) but love not having anything on my baldness. I sometimes forget about it and recently found myself out in my backyard, letting the dog out with nothing on my head. My neighbors can see into my yard so I quickly covered my head with my hands.and ran back in. Last week I almost walked out of the house on my way to work bald. Luckily one of my daughters noticed it and stopped me before I got too far. If you've ever had dreams about being naked at work, this is almost like that. I'm wondering if my chemo is working (I'm on TC). Not that I want to jinx myself but I feel great. I've had 2 TX so far. I did feel some symptoms after TX 1 but aside from some minor stuff this second time around I have nothing to complain about. I didn't use my nasal spray or anything this second time. I had the Neulasta shot and was also fine. I have TX 3 next week. I have an offer to go to Florida a couple of days after TX 3 and I'm tempted especially since I'm feeling good now. I read that some people say it's TX 3 where things really kick in. Not sure what to expect or if travel is a good idea. I actually have no choice about travel as I'm going to my dad's 80th birthday party and have to catch a flight to the Twin Cities.at the end of March,, that will be 9 days post treatment. Well I feel like I'm writing too much about me and should just erase this whole thing. But I do want people to know that sometimes you do feel ok. My best to all and hope you're comfortable.

Dmoore - thanks so much for giving details on the class!  We are having a pretty good snow storm tonight so I expect there will be 6 to 8" of snow in the morning minimum.  But that won't stop me from going.

I felt so much worse my 2nd treatment of A/C.  First time I had 8 hours of nausea but also an allergic reaction to compazine.  The 2nd time I had 4 days of nausea, major constipation issues and felt much worse.  I am also having another allergic reaction tonight.  My right hand is swelling up really bad to where my skin is starting to feel tight.  I took 2 benedryl and am going to get some ice on it right away.  I guess I will be up most of the night popping benedryl and checking for further complications.  I don't want to wake up my hubby as he has been so sick the last 2 days and he is sound asleep right now.  I just hope I have some energy to get through the class tomorrow but thinking that I will since the benedryl will definately put me to sleep.

The weird thing is that I haven't taken any meds today at all but am having a swollen hand - yep.....I am wired ass backwards (that one was for you Apple!)

KerryMac

rads are accumulative.. most people don't experience discomfort at first and often even near the end the discomfort is minimal because the nerves are dead anyway.. i certainly wouldn't buy anything special.. just wear 'loose'.

I am still hoping to see a picture of a human in a buff.

it's raining/foggy in Kansas.. grey and moist.. dreary, but things are beginning to grow.

i avoid bras whenever possible - always have.   you'll be fine for the first couple or several weeks.. then it might become uncomfortable.  everyone of course if different,  i am VERY fair, yet hardly got 'burned'.. my Peruvian girlfriend was VERY uncomfortable the whole time.

Kerry-I'll be doing rads too probably starting end April, I was told to wear something loose, and no bra, maybe a soft camisole would work.

Ok, this weight gain thing has me nuts.. I'm trying to not harp on it but how the heck can someone gain 4 lbs. in one week??? Cripes.

So here's some humor on the subject for ya'll.....

This is a specially formulated  diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during  the day

BREAKFAST

1 Grapefruit

1 slice wholemeal  toast

1 cup skimmed milk

LUNCH

1 small portion lean,  steamed chicken with a cup of spinach

1 cup herbal tea  

1 biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA

The rest of the  biscuits from the packet

1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with  chocolate topping

DINNER

4 bottles of wine (red or  white)

2 loaves garlic bread

1 family size Supreme pizza

3  chocolate bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK

1 whole cheesecake (eaten  directly from the freezer)

REMEMBER :

'stressed' spelled  backwards is 'desserts'

Send this to four women and you will  lose two kilograms

Send this to all the women you know (or  ever knew) and you will lose 10 kgs

IF you delete this  message you will gain 10 kgs

Finally, here's some advice for  you:

Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to  finish all the things you have started.......

So I looked  around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished; and,  before

leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of  Merlot, a bottle of Chardonay , a bole of Baileys, a butle of  Kehuha, a pockage of biscuits , the mainder of bot Prozic and Valum  scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a  cholates..

Yu haf no idr who gud I fel.

Kerry, there's also creams that can help with keeping the burn away from rads.  Try to look on the radiation forum. Something called "Jeans Cream" sounds pretty good. I'm getting it myself.

Let me know what that script is, I'm on the paranoid side myself about the rad burn!

I am done with chemo this Friday!  8 treatments down, thought the day would never come.  I also want the rads to come and go quickly. And I agree on the 5 years being behind us!

Terri - I have zero tastebuds ... this is why I have no idea why I am eatting like a cow... I can't taste anything!  Almost 2 weeks out from last tx and still no taste.  I sure hope it comes back.