Starting Chemo February 2009?

wired ass backwards?

that make me laugh Jancie.

I would appreciate the Braun information, too.  Thanks.

Well my hair started falling out on Tuesday and I work in a Nursing Home in the kitchen so Friday night my husband took the clippers out and cut it all off for me.  I cried like a baby while he was cutting but was ok when it was all over.  It takes some adjusting not having hair.  I have a wig but today I wore a hat they gave me at the American Cancer Society.  I just don't know if I can handle the wig for 8 hours at a time so I went and bought a few scarves.  I go to A Look Good Feel Better Clas on Monday so hopefully they can show me how to tie them.  Then I go for my second round of A/C chemo on Thursday.  Not looking forward to that, last time it took me out of work for over a week.  Hope everyone is doing well.  Talk to you all later going to watch a movie and relax.  I don't have to work tomorrow so I am going to enjoy the weather.  It is suppose to be in the 70's here in Tennessee tomorrow.

Oh, I am losing my eyelashes and eyebrows too. I am a bit in denial that I will lose them completely, but I keep getting them stuck in my eye, so they must be falling out!! My eye brows have started to stick straight out!

On the upswing now from #3, starting to dread #4 in two weeks. But psycologically I know I will feel better after #4, 'cos then there are only 2 left.  Even went out shopping yesterday and got a couple of loose button up shirts to wear when I am doing Rads - not sure how much discomfort there will be.

Jancie - you cracked me up too! love the "my onc thought I should try these now" line!! 

Hey lisa - you sound miserable, and you are entitled to be!! I was told not to take any sort of analegesic as it could mask a fever, and that is your best sign of detecting an infection. I would use with caution...Take care, and hope you feel better

Hi All-

First of all, Jancie - It's funny that you should say that about spicy food, because it's the thing I seem to be craving most. My oncologist's Nurse Practitioner told me at the outset to avoid it, so I'm scared to try it, but all I want is Indian or Thai food. Maybe I'll give it a try. I feel guilty eating almost everything (fat, sugar, coffee) - I'm feeling I should be a vegan now. But I guess Indian/Thai are better than most.

Webwriter and Lisa -  No more apologies for stating it plainly when you feel like CRAP! This is where we come to let it all hang out - where else can we do that? It's so hard when you feel so profoundly rotten, for days and days on end, in a way that you can't even describe to the people closest to you.  I think of the incredibly brave fighters on the metastatic boards, and it helps me be so thankful that this chemo stuff is temporary right now.

But along those lines:  last night I fell into this incredible funk, after having read for a long time what a lot of these ladies are going through.  I've felt pretty strong thus far emotionally, putting a positive spin on things much of the time, but last night this dark cloud descended, and I could not escape this dread about the future, the never knowing, the things that could happen a few years down the line. Does the chemo have a depressive effect on anyone else?  It really felt like more than my own mind at work. I'm not sure sometimes how you approach the future, wake up with the optimism that you need to embrace the day, when you just never know?

Now I'M sorry for being for being such a downer, but I'm wondering how you all handle these feelings? 

so mr. apple just  saw Kristine's picture and he said.

"oh wow - who is that?  she looks famous!"

So, is Kristine really a Star Trek character in cunning disguise? According to wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilia_(Star_Trek) ) she must be a Deltan, a bald species which excudes special pheromones to arouse human males....so apple, I would be locking mr apple up if I was you!!

Oh gosh you guys, thanks so much for making me laugh & cheering me up a bit. I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out because I feel awful & am just having a weak chemo fog mortality moment. I am a big Star Trek fan & one of my closest friends kept talking about how I'd look like a Deltan. Somehow my husband still thinks I'm beautiful even with no hair & huge mastectomy scars. I'll take what I can get. lol

I don't have a fever but both my girls have been running them. My oldest woke me up in the middle of the night last night with a 102 fever & she threw up. She's been fighting it all day. They both finally went to sleep. I hate this time change. I just feel like I'm all congested & have a sinus headache. Hopefully it's just the chemo & not an actual infection!

My WBC count is still normal so that's good right??

Kristine, the Deltan Warrior Woman!!!!

 I think depression is a side effect of the chemo, I have a rough few days every round - about 5 days in.  I think mortality moments are normal too, I wonder sometimes how we all keep going actually. Most days I am just fine but every now and then it just hits me and i think "Holy Cow I have CANCER"

Kristine, I am not sure if you check out the Stage 3 forum at all, there is a thread there "How are people doing in Treatment and After" and there are literally dozens and dozens of Stage 3 women 2, 3, 4, 5 years out of treatment, doing marvelously. I read their posts every time I get myself in a panic and it really helps. 

Artemis - good luck today. I hope you managed to calm down a bit and sleep. I got myself all nervous last time too. I was so tense, and I don't think that helped when they were trying to insert my IV. I hate it. Even thinking of that room puts me in a state, and makes me feel nauseous.  Just focus on the end goal, one more treatment down, one less time you will have to go through it all.

As for food, my husband and I went to the movies yesterday afternoon and had KFC beforehand - I felt better afterwards that I have all week! My theory is I haven't been eating enough fat and grease!! As for weight, everytime I get weighed in I have put on 2lbs. so much for fading away during treatment, I will need to go on a diet once I am done. I think it must be the steroids, as I don't think I am eating more, maybe excercising less...??

Sharing a funny story - funny I guess because only the people around me and my family (who will REALLY enjoy this one) will remember. I ventured out to the local NHL ice hockey game surrounded by my adult children and DH ysterday. Team is having a great probably play off bound season. Well, Nancy is never one to be shy about the hoopla and when tee shirts started falling from the rafters attached to little parachutes I wasn't going to just stand there. I tilted my head to the ceiling hoping for one of those parachutes to drop in my general direction - I wasn't going to dive for it, but if it floated toward me I would be ready. Well, that was before my wig AND hat flipped right off my head. Seems there is a correlation between the numbers of minutes/ seconds that you can tilt your head back before full gravity kicks in. I just decided to make do in place until the end of the game rather than risk another trip through the crowds.

We all had a good laugh with a silent hope that the guy behind me who yelled at me to sit down early in the game when I was trying to get settled might have noticed and felt even the slightest pang of guilt.

Had some warm weather this weekend and I'm not looking forward to the summer with wearing a wig, my head was sweating and it was just 70!

Kerry- Ok I guess it's the steroids!  My tastebuds seems to be shot, day 12 after #3 treatment.  But somehow I'm managing to really put on the pounds... go figure, I can't taste a darn thing but I'm eatting for 2 people!