One Year Ago (March 7th)

Dejaboo
Dejaboo Member Posts: 2,916
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

So, I am celebrating 2 things. (tomorrow March 7th)  

Deja (My Avatar) Turns 9!   Way to go Dejaboo.  Happy Birthday!  She was such a Sweetie in helping me through this Past Year.  As was my Husband & 2 Daughters  

And Its my 1 year Cancerversary.  I dont feel like Celebrating that though.  

I will Never think of Getting Cancer as a Blessing.  I hate when people say that.    

I remember 4 friends saying they new someone with a Bad Mammo & Everything turned out to be ok for them.  I was looking at the Stats at the time & it said 1 in 5 Will turn out to be Cancer.   So I pretty much knew in my heart before I got the Call that it was Cancer.

I wasn't even shocked when the Dr Told me (my PCP was on vacation)  

After I got off the Phone it sure Hit me Hard though.   

Wow, What a Rollercoaster ride.  It sure all Sucked...Especially in  the Beginning.  Trying to figure everything out.  Having Drs Disagree with me.  Finding out I had a Hole In my Heart on May 7th (a PFO & ASA). 4 Surgeries in 9 months....

I wish I could say I am moving on with my life, But Im not yet.   I am still dealing with pain everyday.  Depressed some days.  And trying to get my Business going again.

After I get my Messed up Reconstruction fixed this summer I hope to get back to my New Normal....It will Happen.   I just need more Time.      

I could not have made it through without Everyone here!!

Only All Of you Really Understand what its like to go through this crap. 

You Gave Advice & Encouragement.

You Listened to me Rant & Scream,  tell my Stupid Jokes and Ramble.  

I Still Need you. Smile 

Thank You!

 Pam

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Comments

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2009

    Congratulations Pam,

    I am with you though, getting cancer was no blessing, I did not need cancer to teach me how to love, respect and cherrish life, I was doing quite well . Deja is a cutie, I am getting a new puppy, she will hopefully be able to come home next week,  of coarse Deja could have her for a snack (LOL) she is a Chihuahua, I had one many moons ago who passed away of old age. I have been dogless for several years (a kitty however) it is time, I need that spunkyness around me.

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  • candie1971
    candie1971 Member Posts: 4,820
    edited March 2009

    Congratulations,Pam/ May you have many,many,many more cancer-free years!!!

    Hugs and prayers

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2009

    Congratulations!!  and Happy Birthday to Deja!!!  Take your time ...  you've been through a lot!! 

    Doreen 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2009

    Pam, you're one of my April surgery buddies, and I think of you often.  I haven't had half the issues that many women face going through BC and recon, but it's still been a long, hard road.  There are many days when I still don't feel normal, my mind is so twisted with thoughts and feelings.  I can't imagine what it's like for you to be in limbo, having to wait for your revisions.  And I can identify with living with ongoing pain and the things it does to your outlook (I had five months of expander hell that most don't experience, so I do relate to the long-term pain thing).  I wish I could give you the biggest hug and make things better for you.  

    I won't go so far as to say that having cancer was a blessing, but I will say I've found some value in the experience.  I didn't like it, didn't want it, but I found something positive to take from it.  Yeah, and I got (and still have) the negative that goes along with it, too.  No pink ribbon will change that, but meeting all the wonderful women here has been wonderful.  

    I have been trying to find creative outlets to figure out how to incorporate the lousy part of this experience into my life.  The physical and emotional pain is still here in my body, and I want to let it go.  BC took a year and a half of my life.  I want something back for that pain and trauma!!

    #1:  I am so happy you are here and healthy, Pam.  

    #2:  Happy Birthday, Deja!!

    xo

    Tina 

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2009

    Wishing you many years of health!!

    Happy Bday Deja!  Take good care of momma!

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  • Dejaboo
    Dejaboo Member Posts: 2,916
    edited March 2009

    Thanks Cathi-Oh that is neat that you are getting a Puppy!  Be sure to post Pictures.  Deja said she would play very nice with her.

    Thank you Candie & Doreen!  

    Tina-Good Luck finding your creative outlet.  It sounds like a good idea to help us move forward.    

    Linda- That's for the Wishes.  Deja Hopped up in bed this morning to get a Big Birthday Hug.

    I wished Her Happy Birthday & then I cried.  Im done with that for the day.

    Pam

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  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited March 2009

    Happy anniversary, and to many, many more!!!

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  • Dejaboo
    Dejaboo Member Posts: 2,916
    edited April 2009

    Thanks Jaybird.

     I hadnt really thought about today alot.  I am officially 1 year NED today.(Lumpectomy)  I asked my BS Before Surgery if it was a Joke.  He didnt laugh with me.  LOL

    I also told my Anesthesiologist when he asked my birth date that I was born 5 years later then I really was- Now he thought that was funny- LOL

    Since passing the 1 year DX mark...I feel better.  I think that was a hard time to get through.

    Pam

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