HAIR LENGTH - AM I BEING OVER SENSITIVE?

Dear Sisters, and a shout out to the brothers, mothers, fathers, and friends that God makes us -

I have a question that has nagged me for years.  You can give me your opinion, refer me to a web site, a book, or please suggest some food for thought.

The Question:  At what length does "African-American, Black, Negro" women's hair become short, medium, or long?

I'm about to start chemo.  I'm making my peace with my hair.  My oncologist, who is the most phenomenal  doctor you'd hope to work with, is giving me the steps that I should expect to see.  Today, he referred to my hair as "short."

May the Lord love me, as He always has, my hair is below my ears,  It is not in a lovely cut that I call a business world "poodle cut" of lovely curls.  If anything, it's a short page boy with nape length.  It  does not touch my shoulders, but it covers my ears.  It will always be thicker than it is long - well, historically that's the truth.

Some History: In high school, so long ago, a teacher was saying to the class that babies love to touch hair.  I was taking notes, and I looked up at him, and he looked at me and said, "You can let yours grow."

I was floored.  His name was Mr. Kalman, and yes, he was not African-American.  All those years with bad beauticians as a child, my beloved mom's nervousness, and my own efforts to have a short page boy, and I felt like he was saying my hair was  3/4" inch long all over.  I was deflated.

Is it me?  Is it me?

Men don't get it that processed African-American hair is delicate.  When it has shine, body, and loveliness, it has had love and work put into it.  Hair of all races of women shines when it is clean and conditioned with a periodically necessary good cut/trim, no?

Maybe I should just remember the nice times when my sisters at the salon would remark what a lovely job my stylist had done, that my hair was growing, and that it looked beautiful.

I think, because this is a sore spot with me from my childhood, part of me wants to tell my oncologist that he will make MANY points with African-American women (and women in general) if he will note that if a woman's hair covers her ear rings, please call it medium instead of short.  Let's see.  I should simplify that.  If the longest curls or locks are longer than 6 inches, they no longer hold "poodle curls" without effort.  The hair is too heavy to hold small "C" shaped curls.

I think, because now I am going to lose my hair, I might be hyper sensitive at this time.

Is it me?  Is it me?  Don't men want to touch your hair fresh from the beauty shop and you want to say, "Honey!  Bless you.  I love my hair, too.  That shine is health and product!  Thank you, and back off.  Appreciate, smile, touch one or two times and back off.  Don't stroke it, you'll remove the oils (natural and from conditioners) that help it to shine."

God has never let me down.  I'm counting on it.

Thank you for your replies.

sessna1