Tears, do they ever stop

Cather1ne
Cather1ne Member Posts: 8
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I was diagnosed with BC in November 2007.  Operated on within the month, chemo started December 27th, lasted six months, radiotherapy three weeks in July.  Throughout treatment I was strong, ok I hated the treatment, there were down days but generally I kept upbeat about it all.

 I have been hit by a series of side effects as a result of treatment, radiation damage to lung, eczema (which i never had before and mostly centred on my chest), but even at the start of this I seemed strong.  

However, I am unable to mention the words breast cancer without my eyes filling up these days.  Does this ever come to an end? 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    I'm just like you...I can't mention the word breast cancer without feeling tearful.  It's been along road and hasn't gotten any better for me.

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  • danix5
    danix5 Member Posts: 755
    edited February 2009

    No, it just gets more acceptable!  That is how I feel it, I just learned to accept it!  I still have days where tears come and I feel very sad!

    Your normal, in the cancer world tears and sadness are just our new normal!

    Fear and worry also accompany me day to day!

    Just try to accept the bad things and wish for some good things to come your way!  Think okay I have had enough "bad luck" time for some good luck.  Even small things like remembering the darn coupons at the grocery store makes me feel like I was lucky today!  (more from my surgical meno brain forgetting everything)  I jsut feel lucky if I can remember what the heck i was going to do when I walk into the room and go...why am I  here again!  LOL!

    Keep humor in your day it does help!

    Dani

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  • firstmate
    firstmate Member Posts: 410
    edited March 2009

    I cry all the time.  I am in therapy, take Wellbutrin and Ativan, doing yoga and meditation.  I still cry.  I cried on the way home from an meditation and yoga session yesterday. I am hopeless.

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  • PhyllisCC
    PhyllisCC Member Posts: 397
    edited February 2009

    Sometimes the tears slow down.  Me, I didn't have tears in the beginning thru Dx, surgery, etc.  Then when things were finally going okay... I lost it.  Ended up on Effexor and it was wonderful.  Still sad and dealing with a lot, but so much better.  And no bursting into tears at the drop of a hat.  It was hard to stop taking it.  I tried last September...but couldn't.  But this past January I stopped (slowly) and am doing okay.  My doc says no problem staying on it for a long time but I didn't like the side effect (terrible constipation).  But that was way better than feeling so awful.  No one is hopeless.  Hugs to all of you.  Phyllis

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    Ladies - They do stop.  I was dxed in May, cried all summer, into the fall, and sometime around Christmas realized I wasn't breaking down anymore.

    It's so natural to cry - out of fear, out of grief for the loss of innocence, out of shock, out of frustration, or just out of necessity.  (If we were men, we could punch out a few walls!) 

     For most of us, the longer we live our way through this trauma, the easier it is to pick up the pieces of our lives and soldier on.

    In the meantime, be thankful that you can cry.  It really is very therapeutic, if you don't count the  complete washout of your mascara!!

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited February 2009

    There will come a day when the first and last think on your mind as you wake and go to bed is not cancer. The sun will shine and you will laugh again.  When that happens is different for each person.

    Remember that you have been thru a lot in a short period of time physically, mentally and emotionally. Treat yourself as you would a friend...gently, kindly, with love.

    If you are having really hard time, please talk to a counselor, therapist, social worker. Doctors can give you meds to help keep things under control, but talking, crying and dealing with it is also good (scary, be good)

    My prayers are with you, that you find a calm, safe, peaceful healing place,

    Elaine

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  • SeaSandy
    SeaSandy Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2009

    I did well during treatment it is now 1 year later that I find myself crying and worried.  As much as I hated all of the doctor appointments I was glad that the doctors were seeing me.  Now that I only go every 4 months I find that I'm worried all the time.  I do have an issue with pain and a long lumpy thing on my ribs, I will look you right in the eye and say with a smile on my face, "no I don't think it is cancer" when deep down inside I am sobbing.  I think it is ok to cry, get it out.  I find that after a good cry I can deal with things a bit better.  When I'm worried I clean, needless to day the house is spotless.  Cleaning is my valuim.  Loud music and soap and water.  My husband knows this issue is driving me nuts.  Sunday he got up from bed, went to pee and I had the bed made by the time he got back to the bedroom. Mind you it was 6:30 am.  He laughed, then I laughed. He jumped back in bed and I went my merry way seeing what dust bunnies I could attack kill and distroy.  

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  • rumoret
    rumoret Member Posts: 685
    edited March 2009

    I have always cried easily......so anything could trigger me. I expect it will always be that way. I have found that we have to get outside more and enjoy the fresh air like when we were little girls. It is not healthy to stay bottled up in our thoughts to much.....that is where Ativan has helped me......it turns off the broken tape for awhile.

    Surviving breast cancer is not easy...........but I try my best to move forward one step at a time. I also enjoy playing upbeat music while I am in the house cleaning....helps drown out my negative thoughts.

    Hugs,

    Terry 

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  • Dejaboo
    Dejaboo Member Posts: 2,916
    edited March 2009

    Boy- My Dh would be happy if Cleaning was Therapy for me- LOL

    If either of you need another house to clean.  I have one here that is in dire need for it.

    Its almost a year for me.  I think that is making me more depressed & Cranky.  But who knows.

    Lately the pain I have with my Reconstruction is worse.  So maybe that has me cranky too.

    I like to cry in the shower & Wash away my tears- It usually makes me feel better.  I too am crying more then I was 6 months ago.

    And the Piece of Cake I just Polished off...Made me feel good for a minute- LOL

    My dd made a Very Delicious Cake.

    I do like Exercising & Lifting weights.  That helps me feel normal...Except for when my Boobs flex....And I feel like someone at the gym might notice Surprised

    Today they actually didnt seem to flex as much...maybe they will stop doing that some.

    Music is good!

    Ativan does nothing for me.  I could take 2 whole tablets & not even feel it- Or sleep from it.

    I hope that after my Anniversary- I start feeling a little better...I kind of think it might happen.

    Pam

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2009

    I don't think we ever get over it - and I give us ALL permission to forget about being strong and getting over it. We will deal with it like all the rest of our battles we fought with this disease - in our own way in our own time. I am 5 years out and still have my "days". The only thing is that they are fewer and more far between. Go back to what used to make you feel happy and re-learn one step at a time. We would definitely forgive anyone else their moments - we have to forgive ourselves also.

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2009

    I cry easily and cry when commercials for breast cancer come on the television and radio.  I'm hoping that it willl stop.  I also cry when people send me emails about breast cancer survivors, prayers etc.  Sometimes I feel like just when I may start to forget that I had breast cancer for a bit, someone or something reminds me.  We just have to hang in there and know that it will stop someday.  It's still pretty new to us all.  Hang in there!

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  • mikita5
    mikita5 Member Posts: 373
    edited March 2009

    burns_la:

    "Go back to what used to make you feel happy and re-learn one step at a time"

    But the things that used to make me so happy don't interest me anymore. Everyone who knows me calls me a shopaholic. I LOVED clothes and shoes and buying for the house! The first time my sister cleaned my house, she called me at work and asked "Why do you have SO MANY clothes?".   I truly was a shopaholic. When my kids were little, I'd run into a sale and buy things that didn't even fit my kids. I'd give the stuff to their friends. 

    Now, I have no interest in stores, malls, internet stores, nothing. 

    I have 8 grandkids. I cross stitched a photo of the 2 oldest. I have 6 more to sew and I'd love to get them done (took me a yr to finish each of the first two). I think to myself 'I'll get started and try to finish one more', then, I realize I have bc. I may not be here 6 more yrs to finish them all. What if I finish 5 and I'm not here to do the last one? That last child will be hurt. 

    I HATE having BC. I read that after mastectomy (which I'm scheduled for March 30), you become a different person. Well, I've already become a different person diagnosed first of Jan. '08)and I'm trying so hard to act like my old self! I just want to go to bed and stay!
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