Embracing the Bald

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2009

    a little anecdote. 

    Several years ago, one of the 2nd grade teachers at our gradeschool was diagnosed with breast cancer.  (we're good friends now).  She had a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation.  She took a month off during the worst of her chemo.  When she returned to school, wearing wigs and baseball caps the girls had a Locks of Love fundraiser and many of them bobbed their hair.  The 2nd grade boys decided to shave their heads and then all the boys (almost 250 of them) in the whole school shaved their heads on a couple following Saturdays.   I'll have to hunt down a photo of them and the article that was subsequently published in our local paper.

    it was soooooooo cool.  Little did i dream that i'd lose my hair one day.

    Melissa now has blond hair to her shoulders, and is doing well.

    We live very close to the school.. about a block away.  Sometimes I hear them pray for me  and others over the loud speaker in their morning prayers "We'd like to pray for Mrs. N----- -, (Melissa), Mary  S-----------,  (me) Gene and Klara's mother, Giovanna M-------, Mikey and Patrick's mother, and Donna H---------, Michelle and Anna's mother."

    ....  we all have breast cancer.

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  • MicheleS
    MicheleS Member Posts: 937
    edited February 2009

    I'm (mostly) in!  Shaved my head today down to super-buzzed.  I'm not thrilled but it isn't as bad as I thougut it would be.

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  • curiousj42
    curiousj42 Member Posts: 6
    edited February 2009

    Thanks for the tips ladies!  I'll look for that electric shaver by Braun at Walmart.

    I asked my husband to buzz my head the other day because I could not stand it anymore.  He did a decent job but still not as clean as I thought it would be.  But I must say I'm liking this bald new look :)  It's not bad after all.  I hope I'm as brave as Renee and the other ladies going out in public.  But after reading Apple's entries about the free grocery, I probably will ;)

    I still use a razor for my pits.  I know, I know but I find it easier.  I'm sure I'll get a mouthful from my onc if he finds out. ;)

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  • webwriter
    webwriter Member Posts: 535
    edited February 2009

    Duly noted and on the immediate purchase list. Thanx, Renee--you will be celebrating finality on the day of my 3 of 6. I shall have an extra cc or two of saline in your honor. I still have quite the stubble and I'm annoyed with it. Gotta go. Good Morning Mr. Braun!

    Welcome MicheleS! It's different, eh? I'm cold an awful lot, but danged if my Crazy Uncle didn't send me a Harley (what else?) sock cap that is to die for! Oh, and Little Monkey still reminds me that I "forgot" to put on my hat when I go bare. But that's okay. She's adjusting. Like us, they just roll with it, sometimes kicking and screaming, sometimes not. Wink

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited February 2009

    Go for it ladies! Don't let others dictate what you will or will not do, do whats right for you and your situation. Why is it that we are so defined by how we look to others (usually people we don't even know ?!). I say the only person we need to please is ourselves, others will come around.

    Gentle hugs and sweet prayers,

    Elaine

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited February 2009

    My oncologist yesterday said its usually about 3 months after the last chemo before people stop using their wigs.  I said didn't matter, hadn't taken mine out of the box that it came in.  Wear a hat out in the cold (and it has been a long cold winter heew with another storm coming in today), but the rest of the time I truly forget about being bald.  Every once in awhile I still catch myself looking in the mirror and thinking "hmmm, how did that happen, " but I've really been embracing it.  Love how fast it makes getting ready in the AM.  Plus, my husband likes it (relate to you webwriter in that)

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  • lisasayers
    lisasayers Member Posts: 850
    edited February 2009

    kmmd I'm like you, I forget about it and like how little time it takes to get ready in the morning!  I just use a razor to keep mine clean shaven.  I wish it wasn't winter as I would go out without hats...doesn't bother me at all!  Geez....look at the way some people walk around with tattoos, piercings, etc.  So what if I prefer the no hair look! LOL

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  • MariaG67370
    MariaG67370 Member Posts: 88
    edited February 2009

    I bought a wig just before I started Chemo back in June 08.  When I started to lose my hair I had it cut short.  Did not lose all my hair, had enough showing from a baseball cap that it looked like I had on a hat with a very short hair cut.  Wore the hat a lot but also went without (shopping, seeing clients, etc) Did not bother me one bit and I don't remember getting any stares or comments.  The wig?  It's in the plastic bag it came in!  I never wore it, never felt the need to. I did it my way!

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  • webwriter
    webwriter Member Posts: 535
    edited February 2009

    Okay, Renee, that Braun was ungodly expensive. I took it home, unpacked it from the box, checked for gold plating and plugged the thing in. My hair, in er, places, was growing out again and starting to become uncomfortable. I ran it over my fuzz encrusted scalp a few times and BINGO! Baby Butt! Wow! Worth every dime. I have used electric shavers in the past with very, very little success. Hubster was dubious too. I'm convinced. He's convinced. If you're doing to do this for any length of time (even LE prevention) this is the SHIZNIT!

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited February 2009

    I've been watching youtube about Jade Goody and I just can't get over how beautiful she is bald.  Very sad situation.

    http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=jade+goody+cancer&aq=0&oq=jade+goody

    Web....I should have warned you about the cost of the Braun.  I constantly rub my soft head and I think I might miss that when my hair grows in. 

    I was just getting ready to put together a story about how to talk to someone with cancer when I saw yours on your blog.  Very good.  I've been working on it for weeks but can't seem to come up with what to say that works for everyone.  Wish me luck.

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  • webwriter
    webwriter Member Posts: 535
    edited February 2009

    MAJOR LUCK, RENEE! I was just thinking, on the way home from Walmart with my wonderful new toy that I should revisit the issue. I think now I'll wait until I read yours. Wink

    Off too see Jade Goody, tho I hope I can take it. I'm, um, fragile today, haha!

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited February 2009

    NO, WEB!!!!  DON'T GO THERE.........unless you need a good cry.  Especially with "little monkey."  It's very sad.  People can argue with me until the cows come home but I believe that BC would be much more difficult to handle with little ones.  Mine are 25, 23 and 21 and have been an enormous help. 

    Glad you're giving me a little peer pressure on the story.  I have several that I need to finish.

    Renee

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2009

    webwriter..  you can use that expensive Braun to shave off the white hairs that come in on your face after chemo.Laughing

    actually, i use my husband's electric razor to manage my not too challenging facial hair.. much less painless than waxing or plucking.

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  • EleanorJ
    EleanorJ Member Posts: 752
    edited February 2009

    BC with little kids is definately not fun! Mine are 4 & 5 and the older one is quite panicked by it. Around chemo day, he's usually a wreck. Altough I have been blessed that my mom has flown here for every tx except the first. I'm on #5 next week, so kiddos are getting attention while I lay on the couch ;) I did get them to cut my hair back in Dec. and the first thing my little one told me was "Mommy, you're not real pretty without hair!" LOL! We finally got our family picture done (we usually take it every year in Dec.) I got one of me by myself bald. I think it's a great pic, I'll have to upload it when I get them back.

    I checked the price of those braun razor! Phew!! I have only 2 tx to go so not worth it for me, altough I plan on keeping my head shaved until my hair are uniformly growing (when you can't see my scalp), not sure how long that will take.

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  • Katalin
    Katalin Member Posts: 230
    edited February 2009

    To be bald is no disgrace,  

    you have less hair but have more face!

    I didn't mind bald either...don't do what I did though!  It was starting to come out in hanks, and I got the bright idea to just use a lint-roller to take the loose bits off.   It worked pretty well:  took the loose bits off, thought I was VERY clever...boyfriend and I laughed like hyenas while I was doing it...but then whoaboy! later that night every follicle that had been stripped of it hair started to ache...I couldn't even put my head on the pillow for the pain!  2 1/2 years later, my hair just got NORMAL...I kept it super short while it was weird and poodle-ish or queerly curly, and loved the easy care aspect.  Eventually it became very thin at the sides and VERY thick on the top.  Like a chia pet!  Oh well...I tried a wig for one evening, but it hurt like ninety, and then I wore hats, to keep it warm and to save other people being uncomfortable with it...but then I thought, why do I have to be so worried about everyone's feelings? I'm the one with cancer, and I'm bald!  So I just toughed it out and went without at work and at play.  Not a peep from anyone!  Good luck all!

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  • webwriter
    webwriter Member Posts: 535
    edited March 2009

    A bumping best balding wishes to the entire thread!

    Apple, you crack me up! I'm using it for that NOW-- along with a few other pesky grey regions I'm tired of looking at patchy! ;)

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  • EleanorJ
    EleanorJ Member Posts: 752
    edited March 2009

    Good evening baldies :) We had family pictures done last week at Walmart and we just got them back. I had one of me alone with my bald head taken, I think it looks great. You should all get a professional bald picture done, Walmart is so cheap, it's worth it. I plan on framing mine and putting it next to my scrapbook desk. Anyhow, here's the link to my blog if you want to see them, I just added them. www.thecebulas.blogspot.com And if you check the posts in the month of December, I have pictures of my head buzzing session by my 4 & 5 years old.

    It's warmer outside, so I finally ditched my scarves for good :) I started going out without it, not too many stares. I did hear one child from afar asking his mom why the lady doesn't have any hair? But I don't care and neither do my children (nor my dear hubby). It feels great!

    Of course, when the hair start growing, I'll be covering my head again when I start looking like throll ;) I'll have to stop shaving at some point, but for now, I'm enjoying it.

    Bald is BEAUTIFUL :) We're ALL beautiful Kiss I'm feeling good tonight! LOL!

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited March 2009

    i kind of enjoy going out bald.. (i was bald this last summer too).   

    it is good for the public to see us and i;ll be darned if i'm going to waste any more time on this darn disease primping for the public. - i like baseball caps too and of course winter for me demanded plenty of head coverings.. bald is freezing.

    Cebula - you look excellent.

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited March 2009
    Great photos Cebula.  Welcome to the club.
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  • Deb-from-Ohio
    Deb-from-Ohio Member Posts: 1,140
    edited March 2009

    Renee

      Thanks for the laugh, I just read your Caringbridge update....the bibilical term you changed was soooooooooooo funny, I shall fear only chemo..............bahahahahhaha

    Deb

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited March 2009

    How are you Deb?  I think you're the last one in or group doing chemo.

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  • Lainey64
    Lainey64 Member Posts: 740
    edited March 2009

    Hi everyone.  Well, tomorrow is my last chemo and I've finally come into my own with this baldness.  I've finally embraced it and it feels SO good!  For the past couple of months I've been very self conscious and I'm embarrased to admit, almost "ashamed" of my baldness.  I have had a very difficult time going outside with anything other than my wig or a wool cap covering my entire head.  This past weekend I took control of my life again.  Thanks to God, I am now strong enough to say "heck with it" and slap my ballcap on and go.  This is huge for me and it feels so good.  I can't tell you how many people have come up to me already when I'm out and have given me words of encouragement.  It's empowering and I feel PROUD. 

    Thanks each and every one of you for your strength and courage! 

    Love, Elaine

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  • Deb-from-Ohio
    Deb-from-Ohio Member Posts: 1,140
    edited March 2009

    Hey Renee

      Always the last at everything! Am ok, have 2 more treatments...two more weeks...fingernails are lifting off, have bandaids holding them on, get really tired , the normal after steroid crash, but bout it...eyes still watering but have peach fuzz on the head, so that's a plus. Have an appt on April 6th with my breast surgeon for an exam and to talk about what she's going to do, schedule surgery and all..my onc said she will probably order another MRI, am sure my ins. company will love that one. But still hanging in there, had to go on antidepressants, couldn't take it no more...Lexapro but they seem to be helping alot. Bout it...Where are you in treatment? How are you doing?

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2009

    I have read this thread with much admiration for you ladies. I have chosen to go flat. I mean flat. No recon, no foobies. I went from a 42D to nothing. I am not a small lady, size 14-16 and still carry some weight around my ribcage (previous ballast for large breasts).

    I don't know of anyone who has gone totally flat; I had no role models. My work knew I was getting them off; and as I told one co-worker before I had surgery, "Why should I wear fake breasts to make YOU feel more comfortable?"! The public didn't know (I'm in sales), but have been polite enough to not say anything. I wear cute cropped sweaters or something so from the side it is not obvious. What is anyone going to say anyway? It's kind of obvious...

    I have had a lot of flack from other sites who acuse me of wanting to be a poster child and that I'm not normal. They say breasts are about being a woman. I have felt so frustrated until I came upon this thread.

    I am not ashamed of my cancer. I can't forget it every day so why should I "primp" and "preen" just to make the general public think everything is okay? It isn't!

    I have embraced my flatness. I look thinner and clothes fit a lot better. I carry my flat chest as a shield and unlike some of you ladies, no one has cared to ask. I'm sure they'd know if they were really checking me out. I don't feel like I have to explain anything, but wouldn't feel badly if I had to. 

    I didn't flaunt my breasts and now I don't flaunt my flatness. It just IS. I carry myself with the same grace and elegance as when I had breasts. I am still me. I am still woman, hear me roar!

    Thank you for an inspiring thread! 

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  • MicheleS
    MicheleS Member Posts: 937
    edited March 2009

    Barbe~  What you do with *your* body is your business.  I had a mastectomy on one side but am likely having another one post-chemo because I really want to reduce my chances of chemo etc again.  I'm considering no recon too but have time to decide.  I'm leaning toward recon (at the time of the 2nd mastectomy) but *that* is a personal opinion.  Breasts do not = being a woman so pooh on those giving you a hard time. 

    Michele

    PS. I've heard of lots of women (here and in the real world) who didn't get recon.  I haven't heard of ANY regrets from any of them.

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  • MicheleS
    MicheleS Member Posts: 937
    edited March 2009

    on being bald... I'm in!  I've only worn my wig once to work and HATED it. Soooo itchey (sp?).  I've been wearing scarves.  I have too much "duck fuzz" to go commando!  I don't want to shave it because my scalp is FINALLY not irritated and I'm afraid of messing up *that*. 

    Michele

    PS.  I do go commando at home.  fuzz or no fuzz... wearing a scarf to too long gives me a headache.

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited March 2009

    Barbe....My SIL was here for the weekend and Sheepishly told me she was thinking about not going through with her recon.  She look 20LBS lighter with no boobs.  I say go girl!!!!!!!

    Can I change this thread to read "Embrace the bald and flat"

     I must say that I don't give being bald a second thought any longer.  Most of the time I forget that I am and I never see anyone staring.  A quick glance or two maybe but i think that's the case for anything unusual.  I've had so many people tell me that they are proud of me for going bald. This coming from the most self conscience person alive.  Everyone knows I'm bald so they might as well see it.  For the first time in my life I've recognized that I'm not my long blond hair.

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  • CaliforniaCloud
    CaliforniaCloud Member Posts: 160
    edited March 2009

    Great thread!  This is exactly what I want to do, but I am afraid that my head is not going to be well-shaped for baldness.  When I run my hands over my pixie cut hair, I feel lots of ridges and indentations-- I have a major indentation at the top of my head.  When I mentioned this to my 75 year old dad, he laughed and said, "Oh, that's right, you do have dent at the top of your head."  Oh brother!

    So what's the word on baldness with funky shaped heads?  Is there anyone out there who protected the world from a mis-shaped head?  Is there anyone out there who just got over it and embraced their baldness?

    I think I know myself well enough that I will just get over it, but I would sure like to hear some words of encouragement.

    I had my first TCH on March 4, treatment 2 is scheduled March 25, so it won't be long now. . .

    Cheers!

    Cloud

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited March 2009

    I have a dent also.  Men do this all the time dents and all. 

    Cheers back attcha.

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  • ginagina
    ginagina Member Posts: 327
    edited March 2009

    Done. I am in. I wasn't sure. I knew that my hair was going to go sometime soon. My head has been aching for days. It started to come out yesterday and I woke up with a mound of hair on my pillow. ICK. Had it shorn off this afternoon by my baby brother. I took a quick shower and then started to model some of the hats and scarves I had accumulated over the past week. Both hub and bro shook their heads and said I was better off without...unless I was cold. Good boys. And thank goodness I live in the PNW. Its pretty common around here to see bald heads and snow beanies. So, I took my little guy to the grocery store. Probably best thing I could of done. I didn't give it any more thought and just left the house with my coat. Nothing else. It has only been a couple of hours. Does this count?

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