7 rules to break the depressive circle:

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Sanael
Sanael Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
1. As a rule, problems interchange with periods of tranquil life, but during depression they overwhelm altogether, without giving a break. They might seem infinite and as if impossible to solve. But... the mind is bound, while the hands are sound. And for the mind not to be bound, it is recommended to follow this advice. Write all your duties in a column arranging them chronologically: what to fulfill at first and what afterwards. And also mark the deadline

Then take a blank sheet of paper and stick it over the list with two paper clips, so that only the first line is visible. Then stick the list near the bathroom mirror (even in case of the deepest depression it will not remain unnoticed). Now, after having fulfilled the duty, you can cross it out from the list and move the blank sheet down. Thus you won't forget to do anything and the forthcoming tasks will not seem so numerous, and the victories' list will increase right before your eyes, inspiring you and proving that life goes on.

2. Good sleep is the best cure

Depression is often accompanied by insomnia. It 3 a.m. and you're still tossing and turning, dark thoughts crawl inside your mind, uneasiness won't let you sleep, and you wake up in the morning with terrible headache and totally broken. A simple formula for a good sleep - a cool bedroom, a warm blanket, a low pillow and complete silence. If necessary, you may take soft hypnotic. When we sleep, time flows faster which means that the streak of bad luck will end sooner.

3. Don't give up

When everything goes wrong there is a great temptation to give up and say: "All is lost! I can't do anything!" The thing is that gravest anticipations come true as a rule. Falling into depression, giving up and doing nothing for your own sake, you will drown for sure with pleasant feeling of rightness. But who needs such rightness? Fight to the finish, do your best, persistence brings success. It easy to die, but it's hard to live on.

4. Enjoy life to the full

It's excellent to learn to enjoy minutes of serenity. When another trouble is past, and all problems of the day are solved, it would be good to sit or better to lie down, relax and tell yourself: "I feel tranquil and nothing can disturb me. I do not know what future holds, but this very moment belongs to me. I'm totally fine now".

5. Humour is the best weapon of the desperate

Treat the situation with humour. For this you should take a detached view upon yourself. Any humour is in a certain way based on someone else's troubles. There's nothing funny to get your face hit with a cake, but nevertheless everyone laughs. Try to have an ousider's look at your life, like at a sitcom. A gloomy grin is better than tears.

6. Live for the moment

Don't recall the past. The troubles gone by are powerless, they cannot harm you, forget the wrongs and failures, don't rub salt on the wounds, don't recollect what cannot be reversed. And there's no point in intimidating yourself with troubles yet to come - there can be only one future, and you can imagine hundreds of misfortunes, majority of which will never come to pass.

7. Everything will pass

King Solomon's ring had an inscription: "And it will pass as well". And this unlucky streak of your life will fade away, the morning will come and the sun will rise. And, in accordance with probability theory, life will grant you a wide, lucky streak to equalize the unlucky one. You just need to be patient!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Yeah right, if it were only that easy.

    And my stage iv trumps your #7.  It is not going to pass.  Unless you want to count when I 'pass'.

    The depression that comes with this disease is way beyond this list of 'feel better ideas'.

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  • Watson
    Watson Member Posts: 1,490
    edited February 2009

    #8:  Hold hands and sing Kum Ba Yah. 

    Watson

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    AusAla - I wanted to say something profound, but all I can think is that I want to wrap my arms around you and hold you tight.

    And, ask if that's your precious baby in the pic?

    Warm cyber hugs...

    Susan

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2009

    #9  (For after we sing Kum BaYah) We can all sit around the campfire making s'mores....I honestly believe that my good attitude has helped me along the way to cope with stage 4 cancer. But I am not foolish enough to wait for my bad luck to pass. I have a funny feeling that the above 7 steps were meant for someone other than people diagnosed with a terminal illness..but I could be wrong. Mazy

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited February 2009

    #10 After singing and s'mores making...I'll need a drink! Kidding...Several years ago I was in a deep depression and it took 2 1/2 years of therapy and Paxil before I could even start to like myself, again. I wish there was a 12 step program to get through all this cancer crap.

    Linda

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    I think this was a sincere thread when it started, but the perverse side of me can see this in a more comical vein! 

     #11 after singing and makin s'mores, we go to the rec hall and weave boondoggles (lanyards)!!  Great therapy!

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2009

    Oh mz....havent made lanyards since church camp in 1968 LOLOL. Oh I feel so badly now for taking the sincerity from this most riveting, life changing post and turning it into our own comic relief.........(hehe)

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited February 2009

    We need #12...then we'll have our 12 Step Program!

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2009

    #12...roast weiners on a stick and tell ghost stories to make you forget what you came to cope with LOLOL

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2009

    Oh I cant wait til its warm enuff to go camping...Siloam Springs is wating for me LOL

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  • FJH
    FJH Member Posts: 40
    edited February 2009

    My opinion: True clinical depression can not be fixed by a list of "pull yourself up by your boot straps" solutions. No matter how much you know you should apply positive steps to feel better...YOU JUST CAN'T! I myself have advised family and friends to just take a walk or count the blessings in their lives, it wasn't until true depression took over my life that I now understand. I would if I could but I can't and this only drives the depression deeper....guilt for my failure.

    I don't know the answer. I take antidepressants, has helped some.

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2009

    FJH,

    Alot of the members of this site take anti depressants. I take a Prozac myself. We all respond differently to breast cancer and there is no cure all for depression. But this site sure does help most. Hugs, Mazy

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  • FJH
    FJH Member Posts: 40
    edited February 2009

    I am truly sorry, I know I am really down right now and should have kept my thoughts to myself. I don't mean to be critical of anyone's help. I know this is a wonderful site.

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  • Roberta77
    Roberta77 Member Posts: 45
    edited February 2009

    I have battled bouts of depression most of my life, but there are days when I feel like I am drowning in a bottomless pool. The doctor has offered to put me on antidepressants but I was always afraid of being seen as weak. In today's society, there is still a stigma against mental illnesses, especially depression. I have a great sense of humour and I think it has always helped me, but sometimes, it only masks the pain. Hubby gets angry if I cry so I try to keep my crying times till I am alone.

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  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited February 2009

    FJH -

    I understand your sensitivity -  I've been there myself.  It is next to impossible to snap out of it if you're clinically depressed without meds or taking the wrong meds, which a lot of people don't understand.  But, if you go through counseling, this is always the kind of thing they emphasize.  As you said, pushing yourself to do these things is next to impossible if the depression is severe enough.

    For many years the meds I was taking were not helping me much, but I finally found a doctor who was able to find the right combination of medications and I'm doing very well right now.  But, if I get really sick and/or can't work, I'm sliding right back down that slippery slope. 

    I hope you get to feeling better soon. 

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited February 2009

    Tried a large bottle of wine last night.This morning am regretting that therapy.

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  • Husband11
    Husband11 Member Posts: 2,264
    edited February 2009

    Spam?

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  • Husband11
    Husband11 Member Posts: 2,264
    edited February 2009

    Pardon me for saying so, but the couple of posts by Sanael seem like spamming for a website.  The content is kind of generic / marginally relevant and somewhat impersonal.?????

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  • Husband11
    Husband11 Member Posts: 2,264
    edited February 2009

    Spam?

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    mumayan - That's the bad side of wine therapy!!

    Roberta77 - Please get help!!  You don't know what you're missing out of life! 

    I don't consider depression a sign of mental illness, but no matter what illness you had, wouldn't you seek help to cure it?  Depression isn't something we chose to have, anymore than breast cancer was! 

     The good news is that there are tons of meds that you can use that will relieve the symptoms. Before you can be part of the joy that is your life, you first have to have that gray shroud lifted from your shoulders.

    I can only speak for myself, but my family and friends were over-joyed when I was able to get out from under that veil of depression!  I had no idea the affect my depression had on those who loved me.! 

    I would rather take what ever I needed to be the old, but better, me, than to deny the problem and become my constantly complaining, negative, critical mother.  Who by the way, won't take anything because she "doesn't have a mental problem"!!!

    I urge you to at least consider your options.  Having a good sense of humor is a gift, but who will enjoy that gift if it's wrapped in depression?

    Thinking of you ,

    Susan

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    Mazy - The weiners will do it!!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Timothy, I totally agree.  Hence my zinger of a response.  I checked the bio before I responded.  Nothing on bio.  So I agree...somebody promoting themselves.  It was extremely insensitive of this person to offer these 'rules' on a breast cancer support site where people are truly suffering.

    Shame on them.

    Bethie

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  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited February 2009

    What is the deal with these threads today that make an announcement like "perocet is addictive" or "get off it to get over your depression"????  REALLY WEIRD.

    And what is the point?  Is this some kind of crusade? 

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  • flash
    flash Member Posts: 1,685
    edited February 2009

    aus-I agree with you.

    This is EXACTLY what anti-depressants were developed for.  Why should anyone hesitate to use any means available to get back to normal or near normal.  No one should feel like they are being judged or coerced.

    des- I agree, I don't get the point.

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2009

    FJH

    I am so glad you have joined this site...although sorry for the reason why. We are here for ya sister...Hugs, Mazy

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  • Watson
    Watson Member Posts: 1,490
    edited February 2009

    My post about holding hands and singing Kum Ba Ya was tongue in cheek.  I think that would be just as helpful for depression as the list of things mentioned by the poster and their website.

    Wishing you all the medicated peaced you can find!

    Watson

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    Watson, with a picture like that, how could we have assumed otherwise???  I LOVE that face.  Without tongue in cheek, this would be a depressive, dismal existence.

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  • Jorf
    Jorf Member Posts: 498
    edited February 2009
    Roberta77 - did you do chemo? mastectomy? radiation? lumpectomy? to deal with your cancer? If so, I ask you to reconsider treatment for your depression as well. It's certainly not as obvious!! Wink I think that depression is part of cancer. Think about it - this is a potentially/actually life-threatening disease. People don't waltz away from it (well, some do, I guess). The response of depression doesn't mean it's a mental illness - call it "situational depression" (an actual diagnosis, I think, tho it's been a while since I've used the DSM as bathroom reading) and get some help. It is truly amazing what the right antidepressant will do. HUGS and a kick in the butt to call your primary care first thing monday morning. (You can put it on the top of the list taped to your bathroom mirror!Cool)
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  • Hanna60978
    Hanna60978 Member Posts: 815
    edited March 2009

    ~

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2009

    Oh, I KNEW my people were around here somewhere!

    Praise the Lord for the depressed/anxiety ridden/ OCDs who understand.

    People, I have a sense of humor, but this chemo is going to try to take me to the dark side.

    I'm lookin' at my list of meds, and there sits Decadron.

    I would feel better if Darth Vader and the Grim Reaper were playing strip poker with me...

    A while back, my health concerns started spiraling downward.  I got a major dose of stress, and things just set off one after another.  Weird stuff.  Try Googling "Adis pupil" without the quote marks.  I came down with that.  When my body goes off kilter, it goes for the gold medal.

    Okay.  Just between you and me?  I don't see myself making it through any psychotic episodes on steroids or cortecosteroids, or that class that Decadron is under. The oncologists seem to concentrate on the cancer as the enemy, and they forget about the arsenal for those who have been depressed before... i.e., most of their lives.

    I'm using the search feature for "Decadron" on the boards, because from what I Googled about it, that stuff will take down my reserves, resolves, and I really don't advise that.  I have a psychiatrist, and I take Zoloft (I have for over a decade now), and it works well.

    Have any of you had Decadron in your pre-meds?  Thank you for your help.  You really are helping, just by being here.  Thank you.

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