Starting Chemo February 2009?

Thought I'd post some humor cause we can all sure use a laugh.  This was just sent to me and I laughed my butt off.  Kinda appropriate.. or not... whichever way u look at it, we won't have this issue for a while anyway! Enjoy!

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For those of you who wax, you will understand fully and those who don't will never make this mistake. This by far is one of the funniest things I have ever read. ~ This is why I shave!! Hope to put a smile on your face: Hair Removal..(I don't have a clue who wrote this, but WHAT A RIOT!)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

Read on..

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:

Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull on of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.

('Cold wax,' yeah.. Right!) I lay the strip across my thigh.

Hold the skin around it tight and pull. IT WORKS!

Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPP!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out..must stay conscious.. must stay conscious.

Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe.OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX????

Slyly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.. It's not!! I touch.   I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do next and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub..in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter

'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!! RIGHT!!!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through the various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than having your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace..the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!!! It works!!!!'

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..THE HAIR IS STILL THERE..ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color!

Kat4pink~  When will you be in Mobile??  You've been added to our lunch list!

Kristine~  Love the wig!  I wouldn't have the guts. I'm glad you posted again.  I was worried about you the other day. 

Thanks, Sue; I'm definitely going to make a note of this.  I have two more AC treatments then I start Taxol.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Susan13:  OMG, thank you for the best laughing I've done in weeks (oh, and I'm terribly sorry you went through all that).  You poor, poor thing!

Webbie:  you do look so adorable!  With your facial features, you're really pulling that off!  I should be so lucky. 

Well, I am feeling amazing good for the first day after my 2nd tx....hoping that this round will be easier.  Of course, I'm sure to see the sh*t hit the fan in the next few days, but it was nice to feel ok today.  Did laundry and some light cleaning, might regret that tomorrow.

It looks like my mom will be having her bypass surgery by the end of the week, so please keep her in your thoughts, it will be very risky with her current health, but they have no other options.

I'm off to the hospital for my neulasta injection.

Hugs to all

Judy B.

sue, that is priceless! Wherever did you find that? I want that author to be my new best friend, hee! Makes me superglad I go au natural. (well, I trim.). (k. TMI.)

judy, tons of prayers heading out to your mom, sweetie. I have faith you'll both be fine for that garbage sail. Um, what IS a garbage sail?

Jancie, I knew you'd make it thru nicely. I'm so glad!

Webbie, thank you for sharing your beautiful bald head and your gorgeous smile. You give me courage.

Kristine, I have the same wig in purply pink! It's a lot of fun and it makes me feel sexy whenever I wear it ... in an otherwordly way. (granted I only used to wear it on Halloween.)

(((Artemis))), I'm sending a virtual foot rub your way. Hey, sometimes we just need to wallow. This from the Queen of Wallowing. Just don't let it take over, y'know?

Second tx went off without a hitch. (except i forgot my damn ipod and had to listen to kathy lee again for 45 minutes. gah.) Piece o'cake. Better living thru barbiturates, ladies! I slept all afternoon, I just hope I sleep tonite. I might just pop a zofran and an ativan to make sure.

One thing my onc said, he told me no supplements. Not even green tea. He says he recently read an article that entirely turned him off to them while on chemo - not even acidophilus. Supplements are of course not regulated, and the current studies are vague at best, but even it there's only a teency chance that something negates the effect of these drugs ... I'm not into that risk. "Herbs have been used for hundreds of years to treat disease. Many are safe, and others may have severe and harmful side effects, and possibly interfere with cancer therapies such as chemotherapy, radiation therapy and recovery from surgery. A recent example has been the discovery that levels of chemotherapy were reduced in the body in people who were using the herb St. John's Wort." {http://www.chemocare.com/eatingwell/vitamins_and_cancer.asp}... I know some of you see nutritionists and have gotten different advice from your docs (and i LOVE that we share info - the women on this board have been LIFESAVERS for me - but when it comes down to it, we should all be going by our own doctors' orders, yes?). so yeah, i'll abide by his orders. He and I have been very much in synch thus far. I feel safe with and very reassured by him. plus his sense of humor is nearly as twisted as mine. hee.

On another interesting note, he said not to worry about salads & sushi. (but i'm just as happy taking safe precautions.) And as for soy, he said don't go out of your way to eat/drink it, but don't go out of your way not to. Go figure. i'm not a huge soy person these days anyway. my new addiction is almond breeze .. yum!

i don't have chemo mouth yet. now i can't remember if that comes tomorrow or not. i should take notes this time. 

Only 6 more tx to go! *happy snoopy dance*

(((everyone)))

My chemo has been rescheduled for the 26th - one week later.  Shipping problems?  Holiday on Monday?  Since I am in a clinical trial, I guess I have to wait.  I had psyched myself up for tomorrow!  One more week.......................

Question - so many people have told me they really didn't have that bad of a time on chemo, and then I read so many of these messages.  It really must be different for each person, ehh??

I've got a quick question and then I am heading back upstairs for a little bit - will come back here later tonight.

As far meds go - I was prescribed Compazine (prochlorperazine) and also Ativan (Lorasepam) for nausea.  I also got the tri-pack of Emend.  The nurse said to take the compazine and Ativan and not wait until I am nauseated as them I am reacting and it is harder to get back on top of the problem versus being reactive.  both say to take them every 4 to 6 hours.  I have 30 pills in each bottle with 3 refills and that is what they are prescribing for the next 2 months while I am on A/C

So I have taken both pills already twice today.  Just wondering how many days should I take them?  I haven't had any nausea at all but by gosh with all of this nausea stuff in me, I highly doubt I will get nauseated but if I quit too soon then I might?  I am rambling gals- I am already getting chemo brain!

So 3 days, a week, what do you think I should do.  I figured this crap would hit me days 1-4 or it would hit days 5-8 - don't know yet and I am too drugged to figure it out.

Apple - those steriods - well I can't sleep but unfortunately I don't have any gumption at all to clean my house so I am having one lazy day today!

I AM SO SICK OF DRINKING WATER!  I did go get some pampers baby wipes for when I pee - not sure how long I need to use them - 4 or 5 days straight - any ideas?  I don't want sores down south from the Adriamycin coming out of my body.

Oh and when does the Neulasta pain put you down for the count?  I have some pain but not much - will that show up tomorrow?

I am too drugged up to go back and read 15 pages of this thread where I am sure all of my questions have already been answered and then I would have to sit here and write notes because I can't remember chit.  So please if you have the time - help me out here.

Oh and I did pull the Chemo Card today (shame on Jancie!)  I was at Target at 1:25 - mind you I had to drive myself there and my head was feeling strange.  The pharmacy closes from 1:30 to 2:00 so I told the lady "I just got out chemo and if I don't get these anti-nausea pills in me really quick I am just going to start throwing up everywhere"  I did not want to wait for 30 to 45 minutes sitting there feeling like I did. She put my prescriptions to the top and had me out of there in 10 minutes!

The nurse gave me a free pink baseball cap that said "wish this was hair" - I thought it was so cute!

Livingfortoday & SuefromFlorida: Just kind of curious about the low CBCs. Mine was taken last Friday and it was .33  I was put on an antibiotic for it but that was it, the nurse didn't put any restrictions on me. Anyone know what a normal blood count is? I was told they wanted it to not be less than 1. Hope you're feeling better and are in good spirits Livingfortoday. My best to all.  Suzanne (almost a Sue or Susan)

Webwriter congratulations on your new look, it's great.

Lisa810 interesting to hear about all the supplements to avoid. A little concerned about the staying away from soy, I'm a vegetarian whose ER+/PR+, actually a 100% ER+. Since I don't eat meat or fish soy has been a pretty big staple in my life. I haven't been avoiding it during chemo. I was told not to add any additional supplements.

I have had 1 tx and I am half way through my 3 week cycle. I am feeling just about symptom free now. Quite the contrast from last week at this time. Hard to believe I have to go ahead and repeat this 5 more times. I know I should be positive about this as many others go for much longer. I got a real wig today, there is this great place in the Albany area for women with breast cancer that takes insurance and has high quality synthetic wigs for reasonable prices. They were so helpful with trying on the wigs and making sure I found what is right for me. I can't believe all the supportive wonderful organizations that exist for women with breast cancer.

FYI my last post that was deleted was a repeat of the post before it.

I am such a nightowl, I have to train myself to get to sleep earlier.

One question, I can't seem to get my diagnosis to appear on my posts, I did put it in my bio. Any suggestions?

Best of luck to all.

WHY does my tongue feel sort of numb?????????

Michele,

Praying for you today...understand the anxiety of facing round two when round one had S/E's...you are doing your a body a good thing by getting rid of the cancer so you can once again concentrate on being a mom and a wife.  I am going to be a first time grandma in June and all I keep visualising in running in a park with my new grandson....best wishes and prayers today!

Michele:  My first tx was tough, too, but so far, 2 days out of my 2nd tx, I am doing so much better than last time.  I've only taken 1/2 a compazine 2x's yesterday, nothing yet today for nausea.  Much better.  No fatigue yet, either.  It's weird, I keep waiting for the worst to come but so far, so good.  So I hope your 2nd tx goes MUCH better for you, too.  I am sending soooo much good vibes your way, and ((((((((hugs)))))))).

I got yelled at by my onc. nurse for losing 4 lbs.  She said she understands my stress about my mom, but that I can't afford to lose any weight.  I don't like her much, she's very 'in your face' about things, and I can't help it if between the stress, and the nausea, I wasn't very hungry last week.  I was glad when my onc came in; he is very nice.  

Suzmarks:  there are 2 ways to add your dx to your listings.  If you go to "My Home" under Preferences, you have 2 options:  one is to edit your diagnosis (the one with the list of options with bubbles next to each choice).  That automatically adds it to your signature.  If that won't work for you for some reason, go to the other option, Edit my Profile, and add your dx to the Signature, which is near the bottom of that page.  Hope that helps.

WIG QUESTION:  Ok, this hair is coming out fast now, so I have a question for those already wearing/trying wigs.  Do I need to wear something under it?  Either for comfort or to help keep wig in place?  I haven't even cut my hair yet, but very soon I think tomorrow.  I am trying to nurse it through tonight to stay put.  I have one student who seems to be on "wig watch", and am nervous about her noticing right off and announcing it to the whole building on the spot tonight.  I feel self conscious enough without an announcement being made.  She walked in last week and loudly said "Mrs. B., is that a wig your wearing", even though she knew it wasn't.  She is a sweet girl, really, just trying to keep it light with humor, but it upset me a bit.  I told her to go home and look up the word 'tact' in her dictionary.

Judy B.

Lisa810:  I didn't mean to type garbage sail, but garage sale.  We refer to it as "garage sailing' when we go out for the day and go to lots of garage sales.  Get lots of stuff for mosaicing when we go.  My typing is so atrocious lately, I probably mistyped in my other post, and added a "b" to garage!  Yikes!  I tell you, I don't know when chemo brain sets in, but I swear I'm losing it already!

Honestly, KerryMac, I say the dumbest things lately.  Last night while putting away groceries, my DH asked me something (don't even remember now), and I replied that "it didn't matter, it is six dozen of one, 10 dozen of another", and I'm instantly like, wait....that's not right, and my DH just stared at me.  Earlier, while waiting in my docs office, I forgot what city we were in, even though I've been there like 20 times this year.  Kinda scary when I have to teach students, I need to be alert!