Starting chemo January 2009?

Renrel · February 2009

lisalisa - I think it can help to remind people, at a time when they are not all fussy and annoying, of what you want/need. I also have made a point to remind people that I am a person with a history of canser, not canser who is feeling ill due to a proactive attempt to stay canser free through chemo. Hearing it put this way may make people feel less worried about you.

BerkeleyKim · February 2009

Hi all:

Lisalisa--VENT AWAY--that's why we're here!! (I sure have done my share...) It sounds like you have a full week planned--have fun!

PrincessKauai--I see you're in Berkeley. So am I. I haven't managed to get myself to a support group yet, but need to. I've been hoping to get to the one at the Alta Bates CCC, but the timing hasn't worked out. Thanks for the book rec.

Renrel--Thanks for the thoughts about thinking about bc. My grandma always called it "her cancer," and I thought it was strange at the time but not so much now. Since as far as I know there is no more cancer in my body, I'm trying not to think of what I had as still "mine," although that's been a hard mind change. I see the chemo and radiation as there to wipe out any mutant cells that want to become cancer.

Year of the Hat--I think that the shifting of priorities has been big with me too. I'm just getting the paperwork in to go back to work, and I wonder how bc will affect my work. I know that I have LOTS less tolerance for some of the stupid ads on tv and in the paper, especially anti-wrinkle stuff (which I have drawerfuls of) and minor health complaints!

Well, I'm feeling lots better today (day 4 after AC #4), and my insurance told me that they are working on reinstating me after the cancellation request from my sch. district. DD is making carrot cake, so except for the hemmerhoids, life is good today. I'm going to go wash the chemo out of my sheets...that smell just lingers for me.

Hugs to all--hope everyone is doing well today, and good luck with wigs, hair, nails, jobs, kids, SEs, etc.

Ninja · February 2009

My kid and I were taking a walk between the rain today and we were talking about chemo. She's very interested in Taxol because they learned about cell division and microtubules in science class (7th grade) and that's how taxol works, by stabilizing microtubules.....then we were talking about tamoxifen and I said, "the cancer I have has estrogen receptors." She stopped in her tracks and said "Mom! you mean the cancer you HAD!" Yes indeed. I tell myself each day, all this and the upcoming radiation are just a mop-up operation, a just-in-case.

Isn't it GREAT to have those moments when you DON'T think about having breast cancer, when you're just living your life, albeit at a slower pace than you normally do?

Off to A/C #4 tomorrow, it's so nice to see some of you being done with that horrible stuff, it's probably the only thing that will make tomorrow tolerable, that it's the last.

Alo123 · February 2009

Jas man....I had the same dreams of throwing up for 2 nights..it was dreadful!!!

Today I have turned the chemo corner and feel very good.

I just drank a really good drink..wish I would have tried it earier....

Tazo chai tea...in box from costo...maye even starbuck.....with equal parts of vanilla almond milk....(Almond breeze I think) over ice.....now that was very delish!! It has some ginger in it which really helps!!!!!!

GryffinSong · February 2009

"GryffinSong--I hate taking too many pills, and help off from my antinauseas last treatment. Didn't vomit but had much worse heartburn. Good luck with next AC. Do you follow with Taxol?"

Yes. After four treatments of AC I'll have four more treatments of Taxol. Then radiation starts, after a break. I'm glad you mentioned the heartburn, because I have that feeling a lot. It's more a feeling of fullness all the way up my chest, which is helping me eat less.

I buzzed my hair off yesterday. Met with two friends, buzzed the sides. Then we french braided the center section ( my hair was halfway down my back ) so that I looked like a mongol warrior. Photographed it, and buzzed the rest. To be honest, I rather like it. Sort of fresh and innocent looking. Even though I'm 51 and have a few "life lines" (wrinkles) I have really large, round, grayish blue eyes that give me a bit of a pixie look. Fun. We laughed, we hugged, we ate pizza.

Now I'm off to catch up on the rest of this thread.

misty123 · February 2009

lisalisa ~I thought I was the only one with that problem. I am not an invalid and when I have a little energy i want to vacuum the floor or change the sheets, do laundry or whatever to help out around the house but everyone has a fit, I'm not going to keel over if I do a little house work. My oldest came home on emergency leave from the navy, the youngest son being sick also with liver disease and he almost wrestled me down to the ground when I tried to mop the kitchen floor, he actually yelled at me(not like him at all) that I wasn't being a good patient and wouldn't let others take care of me, I wanted to stay in control even when I am sick. I enjoyed the extra help because he was able to shuffle thru the hospital to take care of his brother when I couldn't but I was also glad to see him go. He would actually sleep on the floor at my side in case I needed anything, or to make sure I was alright. He kept telling me he was so afraid he was going to lose me or his brother, even though I understand what he is going thru you don't want to think of losing your battle while your going thru this fight. I know everyone means well but it can be a little much at time.

That's my vent and I wish all a SE free week.

misty123 · February 2009

mimi07 ~ My son has hospice and they are great, he has a wonderful social worker whom has been a great help to me with my issues with bc. I also have been blessed with a supportive family and angels for friends. Malcolm has a volunteer group of ladies ages 50-65 whom call themselves Malcolm's posse and they are there for fund raising, dr visits or just to lend a hand. I think we all have different obstacles to deal with while trying to fight our battle, the women on here with little ones I can only imagine how they do so with all that comes along with being mommy and then trying to work or just keep to house running so hubby can work, these always makes me remember we are never given more than we can bear.

Love and good wishes to all.

PrincessKauai59 · February 2009

Hi Berkeley Kim! I've been sometimes to the Kaiser Oakland BC support group since I'm a member, but have also wanted to check out the Herrick / AltaBates option since it's closer to home. Am back at work 3-4 days per week now, so that makes getting to a group hard. Also have a little boy in Kindergarten.

Good luck to all of you facing the last of your AC doses - - I'm on weekly taxol now and it is SSOOOOOO much easier (except the hassle factor for the weekly labs and weekly chemo appt.) Actually, had associational nausea when I went in for my first Taxol after the AC series - - I was gaging just from being at the oncology clinic. Once my body realized it was different than AC, I was fine to go back. No nausea with Taxol. Tomorrw is taxol 8/12. This too will pass.

PLUTZ · February 2009

jillyG-Hope you're feeling better.

jas-man-I'm with you after the 2nd treatment. I really felt bad most of last week. Nausea, my aching body for 3 days, diareah most of the week, hemorroid problems. 3rd treatment is this Fri. and I am really praying that this one will be much easier.

For those of you who have finally shaved the rest of there heads, yeah! It does feel much better when you wear the wig. Its not as uncomfortable, but I only wear it when I'm out. Otherwise when I'm alone I don't care, when my family is home I throw on a cap or knit hat. My husband still hasn't seen me bald. Neither has my younger daughter. She said it will make her sad if she sees me bald. My older daughter saw me only because she shaved her head one night when I was sleeping and showed me the next day. I just wanted to cry. Shes 18 and so supportive of me. She actually said it feels good with or without the wig. She wears a wig to work and school, but at home she doesn't care.

Prayers for all of you to get through another week.

shockedat39 · February 2009

Good morning, everyone!

Feeling good this week other than some slight nasally issues after a beautiful weekend spent mostly outside! Gearing up for A/C #4 on Friday. I'm excited (that it's the last A/C) but scared (I've heard it can be a bitch). How did I get so far so fast?

Hair is finally giving up, however grudginly. It's coming out slooooowly. You're right, though, Phyllis, the wig feels much better as the real hair goes. That was sweet of your daughter to do that!

I took my daughter to the kids with parents with cancer support group last night. She loved it! I think it's really going to help her. The parents had a separate meeting...my first experience with support groups. I'm really 50/50 on it. While it felt good to talk about it with other people who are going through it, I also left there a little worried. There were lots of Stage IVs (all kinds of cancer) and one lady with breast cancer who started out Stage II and now has bone mets. I don't know...I'm not sure coming out of a support group more worried than when I went in is really productive. I'll try it one more time and definitely keep bringing DD.

I also wanted to comment on Lisalisa's post about being treated like an invalid! I totally hear you and everyone who commented. I have an aunt who keeps emailing me that she hopes I get to go sit outside when it's warm and stuff like that. Hello?? You should be praying that I get 30 minutes a week to put my feet up! She (and everyone else who makes these type of comments) means well but it makes me want to spit fire!

Be well and feel good, everyone!

Diane

jrgolomb · February 2009

Shocked, Plutz, Princess and all the wonderful folks on this board. I am nine days away from TX#3. I hope this one is a bit better. Tx#2 I felt more yucky- I have mentioned it on the thread earlier on. At least it is the last of FEC and then I am on to 3 of Taxotere. Diane-I know what you mean about worrying about other people at your stage ending up with more serious stuff.....It is so hard NOT to, I have to fight it, especially as I head toward the next treatment. I wonder, what does the group support say? My husband tries to comfort me, but it is hard no matter what! Last night I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep and when I finally did, I dreamt about ringworm! Wow, what connections is that????????????????????

Jess

rsben70 · February 2009

hi all hope everyone is well, had tx 2 last week and got soooo sick spent thursday kneeling at the porcelin throne. i don't have a tx this week so hopefully i can get my strength back, still feel weak but better than last week.

be well hugs to all

REKoz · February 2009

Morning Ladies-

I just want to add my 2 cents in regarding support groups. I have been a huge advocate of such groups as I was in one years ago that I believed saved my life. I thought when diagnosed, I would immediately go out and find a local group to deal with the various issues we have. Problem was/is that between chemo, Dr. visits, work and life in general I just don't have the energy to commit to going elsewhere at the moment. I have found all I need to go on by being a member here. Seriously, I came to this realization in a most powerful way when my hair began falling out last week. By reading the experience of both those who have gone before me and those traveling along with me, I was more prepared to go for that shave then I ever could have imagined. My caring family is incredibly supportive but truly could not understand how I could do that. And the thing is, I didn't need for them to understand. My sisters here understand and that is what gives me the strength to do what I must do and accept things as best I can.

I guess what I am saying is that if you find much comfort and sisterhood here and not within a physical group this could be all you need. I know it is for me, for now.

Ellen

sweeeeetpam · February 2009

LisaLisa,

it is funny that you said that I have the oppisite, I told my parents at my school but only told one firend, all of relatives are in Mass and I decided not to tell them, because what can they do long distance.

Now I would like a LITTLE of what you have, because since I have not missed one day, except the two weeks after surgery everyone thinks I am super women.............well I am not, so send me some of your love and we will both be happy!!!

Hey does anyone else have a painful scar area, my comes and goes this weekend it hurt like heck, and it has been since dec 29, now I am in a two year old room lifting 13 children up on a diaper changing table, so this week I am doing the old fashioned sit down diaper changing.

I do not do pain well, I also seem to have a infected big toe, Yes everyone, I called an left a message for my doctor, I have been soaking it in assents salts and neosprane???

I hope everyone has a great week, do you believe in Los Angelos they closed a highway because of SNOW>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> What is the world coming too!!! Have a great week!! Pamela

jillyG · February 2009

WARNING.....TMI ALERT!

I wanted to ask if anyone has been having their period throughout chemo. I hadn't had mine since before my surgery in November and I just got it 2 days ago (as if having pneumonia wasn't enough). Here's the reason I am mentioning it......I have had nothing but huge clots coming out of me since it started which is not typical for me. I stand up and feel a gush and then when I go to the bathroom I pass really large clots. Sorry for even posting this, just wondered if this was something to get concerned about.....I thought I wouldn't have my period during chemo and now this

shockedat39 · February 2009

Hi jillyG,

Sorry about pneumonia (yuck). I got my period about 5 days early right before my 2nd treatment. Then, on the day when I should have gotten my period (about 2 days past tx) I started spotting lightly and it lasted the normal length of my period. I did call my onc about it (as I've learned not to ingore anything...gee, I wonder why?) and they told me that my periods throughout treatment would not be normal. Obviously this is not the issue you're having but thought you might find some comfort in the fact that she said that.

In short, if I were you I would call the doctor but I would not be stressed about it.

Good luck and hope you're feeling better!

Diane

Renrel · February 2009

JillyG - I have had my period each TX cycle. Insult to injury, huh? First time I spotted for a few days early in the tx cycle - strange stringy red mucus stuff. Later it was my full flegdged period. I always use tampons so it is strange dealing with napkins again. I did not notice clotting type stuff that I remember but I think the way some of the chemo sucks up all the moisture in our bodies may account for some of that. I don't think there is anything to worry about but I would call you doc just to check in on it.

I did the Look Good Feel Good workshop today. It was fun. I was the model. I don't particularly like my look but the free make up is great and tips on doing eyes were needed. My foundation is too pale for me and I don't use power usually, so that is why the look is not comfortable for me.

I did an art workshop today. I made a nice piece around the quote "Whatevery your talent, us it in every way possible. Spend it lavelishly like a milionaire intent on going broke. by Brendan Francis. Bc has reminded me that I need to live my life and central to that if understanding my gifts to the world and presenting them. Visual art is not really my gift but it is fun to play with it and see what creativity and self learning can come out of it.

ktym · February 2009

Jilly G and Diane, I've had an atypical period, but period, with every TC cycle thus far--but started with hot flashes this week, so we'll see if that pattern continues

jrgolomb · February 2009

Jilly G-----i had the same thing happen to me. It lasted for about 16 days, until I went to my ob and she gave me provera, which was okayed by the oncologist...but only for five days. The onc said basically I am undergoing a huge amount of change not only because of the cancer, but the surgery and now the chemo. It is very scarey, but now that the cycle has stopped, I feel much better. I am off the provera-thank god - because I have er/pr+ fed cancer.

swest · February 2009

Jilly - I am from the December 2008 thread but was reading your post and thought I would let you know that happened to me too. I just finished my 4th and last tx of CT on Friday. Each month since I began chemo I had a period (even with night sweats/hot flashes). The first period in December was normal. The second in January was very heavy. It lasted 1 week which was normal for me. Stopped for 2 days and began again. Luckily it was not as heavy but lasted another week. I did not call my onc. as I felt like I was calling about everything. I would have called if it did not stop. Also, my RBC was ok for my next treatment so I forgot to mention it. You might want to give them a call if it make you feel better.

jillyG · February 2009

Thanks for your responses ladies, I really appreciate all your comments.

carlajane · February 2009

hi ladies...

i was feeling pretty good after my first AC but my 2nd tx on Feb. 4 didn't go so well...4 days after my treatment i was back in the hospital with an intestinal infection...i'm home now...feel okay but still have to be very careful what and how much i eat...also beginning to get a mouth sore or two...working hard to prevent them...

two more AC tx sounds like alot to me at the moment...i don't even feel like i belong in the real world anymore...been feeling really depressed and i miss my hair...i miss my life before bc...thanks for letting me vent...

CJ

BerkeleyKim · February 2009

Carlajane-Hang in there with the ACs. I didn't think I'd make it but finished #4 last week.

I know what you mean: I miss my life before bc. After getting measured for a lymph. sleeve I went to REI today looking for compression wear like UnderArmour for my still swollen mast. area, and I just started crying looking at all the "healthy" people shopping like normal and thinking that maybe I won't be able to do the activities I did before bc. I've just got to survive this and get my life back.

Jess-Had my first bad ones last night--had to swim across a lagoon with sharks and came out on the beach w/out a breast. Woke up in a sweat. Also dreamed I played scrabble with my surgeon. And it's not even a full moon.

Re support groups, this thread has been my lifesaver! I don't know if I could stand going to another thing at the place I get the chemo. I'm sick of the building. I do need to look more into doing something for my dd, although I don't want her to be a group where kids' parents are dying.

PrincessKauai-Glad to hear that the Taxol x12 is better. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for next week.

Pamela-careful lifting those babies! That could stress a scar. I think they can take a couple of months to fully heal. I don't know how you do it, working so much!

To all you Jewels--good luck with treatments this week and hope for no SEs. And as hard as it is to receive help when we're so used to be the caregivers, now's the time to cash in when we need to. misty-glad your big boy is home to help (when you want it of course! I haven't had to fight off anyone to do chores).

kt57 · February 2009

Hello Jewels,

Last week I posted Constipation Tips --- well I'm back to report.. metamucil and miralax rock! Working great!

Funny story --- it's Valentine's weekend, I put out Valentine M&Ms in the candy dish...... Sunday my other "M&M concoction" is working like a charm ---- I let out a WOOHOO -- my hubby comes running with the candy dish --- you see, we rewarded our toddler with M&Ms during the potty training days (he's 20 now). We laughed and hugged -- what a great memory and what a sweet gesture.

Hang in there everyone. laugh when you can ..

ddlatt · February 2009

anemia - does anyone have anemia?? i had to be rushed to the doctor today because i can't even walk across the room without my heart pounding and i feel horrible. i'm exhausted just getting out of bed in the morning. so i went to the doc, and he did some bloodwork, said my red blood cell count has decreased by 10 in one week and that i'm borderline anemia. he said there are no drugs to take care of this for people on chemo - he said procrit and others have been proven to increase risk of DEATH. (i have the link if anyone wants to read it). so he said i may have to have a TRANSFUSION. i just about fainted when i heard that. my red blood cell count was very high before chemo. he told me there's nothing i can do with diet to help this, but that cannot be true. i've been reading a lot about anemia and chemo, and there's a lot we can do with diet. i have not eaten meat since 1999, and today my son grilled me a steak. i felt horrible eating meat again, but i'll do anything to feel better and not get a transfusion! will also eat more peanut butter, beans, anything with lots of protein. i have never felt so weak and so awful. then i read about a a study about how people on chemo who develop anemia have a much higher chance of cancer recurrence--OH GREAT. my doc gave me a chest x-ray today and i'll have an EKG on thursday to see if the adriamycan has damaged my heart. he said he thinks i'm getting too much chemo too fast and wants to possibly wait another two weeks for my next chemo. i don't want to get behind schedule--i want this over with! but i'll do whatever i have to do. so - does anyone have issues with anemia?

jillyG · February 2009

ddlatt, sorry to hear your news. I had anemia after my last c-section 3 years ago and I could barely stand without feeling incredibly dizzy and faint and the headaches were killer, and I was just exhausted. Finally I went and got checked and it was anemia. Although there is dietary changes a person can make like eating meat etc, it takes a long time to recover from it, so there is no quick fix and you need to recover from it quickly. I changed my whole diet AND I was on 3 iron pills everyday for months and months and still had anemia. But, maybe it's different when you have anemia and on chemo than anemia from surgery/bloodloss, I'm not sure. I just hope you are feeling better soon, and the doc can get you back to health.

Jill

BerkeleyKim · February 2009

Ddlat--I hope the steak helps you. My husband made a roast, which I was going to pass on until I read your post. I think I might be borderline too. Before my last AC tx I was 11.9 for hemoglobin and a bit below normal for the RBC, 4.14. The dr. didn't say anything at my last tx, but I notice that my counts have dropped with each tx. I got 110 whatevers of Adria each tx--which I thought was really high. Scary stuff. Sounds like you're doing all the right things to bring up your counts. Hope you feel better soon.

My brother had a platelet trans. during chemo for throat cancer, and he felt lots better afterward. I think that's different that for anemia though.

KT57--we used m&ms too. funny

spooky · February 2009

Hi All,

I just found this board and am I a happy camper!! I was diagnosed on my BIRTHDAY this year at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica because I was diagnosed 16 years ago with breast cancer at the same place. I have sinced moved to Northern California but come down once a year for my exams. Imagine my surprise after 16 years.

I decided to find a surgeon in No. Cal. because of logistics. I had a double mastectomy the day before Thanksgiving and started chemo on Jan. 16th. I had my 2nd treatment today. I was just fine for the first few days, but on day five....whoa Nellie, a Mac truck ran me over and left me with such a headache. Called my oncologist right away and he had me come in for FLUIDS. Who knew?????? They gave me saline and I believe a "booster" whatever that was, but after that, my husband and I went to dinner. I was feeling great and each day after that I felt better and better. Now, that morning I barely got off the sofa!!!

Also, I found out today, that this group recommends taking a Clairiton tablet with your Nulasta shot and those that follow this apparently don't get that back pain. My pain came on day 5 so tomorrow when I get mine I am going to take the Clariton as well.

These are just two suggestions I had and thought I would share. I love my doctors in Santa Monica, but I also have found great ones here.

Renrel · February 2009

I had a so so night. I was pretty tired and that darn pain in my lower back was worse. I had it before my last treatment so I don't think it is the nuelasta though maybe that makes it worse. More likely being up and about all day. I woke around 4am with a slightly loose stomach. Not too bad but not pleasant. Took some OC meds for that and was able to get back to sleep. Woke tired and a bit queasy but breakfast took care of the queasiness and a shower and putting on make to some good R&B seems to have perked me up abit. At least enough to go to my PS appointment today that I was thinking of skipping. I may be hard to reschedule so that is good. I am thinking of trying to return to work next week. I have exhausted all sick leave and am now working on about 4 weeks of vacation time. I am lucky to have such reserves but it makes me nervous to realize I will exhausted it all and DH's work is cutting the work week from 5-4 days till April. Not what we need right now with a one year old mortgage, medical bills and me not at full capsity. But I know others are in much worse shape so I won't complain. We will make it though this.

Bev56 · February 2009

First of all, welcome Spooky! Happy belated birthday! This bc certainly doesn't care when it pops into our lifes does it?

Holtbolt- you and I are on the same schedule. 2nd TC tx last week. I am sorry to hear you had such a bad reaction to the Taxotere. I certainly hope they can prevent that from happening again.Hope you are doing better by now. I finally started feeling better today (minor side effects).My husband is glad I'm feeling better- I get very miserable and snap at him when I don't feel good. I swear sometimes he just aggravates me so I do yell at him!

There is a support group tomorrow but I don't think I'll go to it. I look forward to reading your entries and we're all more or less in the same boat. In a support group there are many different diagnosis and stages. I prefer to stay with my bc friends.

I only have a few wisps of hair left (and it's not gray!). I finally wore my wig for the first time on Sunday. Everyone said it looked natural. Is anyone wearing a wig cap liner under their wig? I haven't purchased one yet but the wig does move around a bit on me even if I tighten it up. I'm wondering if the liner will keep it in place better.

It's snowing alittle here now.It's nice to look out the window and not have to go to work. I miss my friends at work but I don't miss all the nonsense.

I just found out a coworkers husband died suddenly of a heart attack. He was only 46. She was very nice to me when I had my surgery. I plan on going to the service even if it's only for a short time. I now truly appreciate how it feels when someone extends friendship, love and concern when you have a crisis in your life. I appreciated it before but I feel it deeper now.

Hope all is well with you and your loved ones.

Starting chemo January 2009?

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