Mental Anguish

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Hello, I am brand new to this forum, and I was curious if anyone else had experienced the following:

My wife was diagnosed about 7 months ago with Stage III-C, and she has been through AC Chemo, a radical mastectomy, and is now in her third week of Taxol chemotherapy.  She is doing the once a week, for twelve weeks course of treatment. I have always been super-supportive, and will always continue to be - for she truly is the love of my life.  Anyway..., after the first Taxol treatment, I noticed that her mood totally changed, and she is now critical of most things that I say.  She easily takes offense when none was ever intended.  So..., my question is, does Taxol have any known side effects that may involve changes in her mental status?  This behavior is totally unlike her.  After 23 years together, I have never seen this side of her.

She has been anxious, and depressed about the diagnosis, who wouldn't be.  I am just very concerned that something else may be going on, and if it is related to the medication, I would like to approach her oncologist about it.

Any insights or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely, jeff

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Jeff, I don't know about the SEs of Taxol, I just want to express my sincere hope that you get answers soon. My husband was always totally supportive of me when I was going through my treatments, and I thank God for my personal angel. I'm hopeful your wife will be better soon.

  • Maryiz
    Maryiz Member Posts: 975
    edited February 2009

    Jeff, this whole diagnosis is overwhelming for the "victim" as well as the family.  It involves incredible trauma to your body, your emotions, your views on life and death, as well as sexual issues.  It is also very lonely, because no one can totally understand if they don't walk in these shoes.  You sound very compassionate, but I think you have to give her time.  She feels terrible, has no idea how she will respond to treatment, and for her, I am sure how she views her body now is different. I am not saying all women feel this way.  Some may feel it is a bump in the road, but I can say for myself I feel like I am climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in my underwear.  Come here for support.  These women are so great.  Take care, Maryiz

  • BFidelis
    BFidelis Member Posts: 156
    edited February 2009

    I can't speak to the "mental" part of Taxol, but I did have terrible bone/joint pain, where I had pretty much 'sailed through Adria/Cytoxan.  And it took me almost a whole day to realize that I was in significant pain in a lot of places, so I was incredibly crabby (dare I say HORRID) to DH and DD.  (I still feel guilty when I recall that week.  They were scared to death to see normally strong, loving mom saying terrible things.)

    Then there's the mess this dx does to your head, no matter what chemo you're getting.  I'd get set off if I saw a woman at the tx center in a wheelchair with an oxygen sidecar.  I hurry to the restroom to cry and try to compose myself.  And more guilt.

    Please hang in there.  It sounds like you are doing everything you can.  Maryiz is right--come here often.  My DH wasn't perfect, nor was DD, by I always felt they were really with me and so many time, just feeling that gave me the steam I needed to take that next step.  I will keep a good thought for you & your wife.

    Dona Nobis Pacem,

    Beth

  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2009

    Jeff,  There are many aspects of treatment that affect mood.  Treatment involves the use of steroids that affect the brain, the AC chemo is known to affect the frontal part of the brain which affects memory, executive function, and emotion, the treatments cause huge variations in hormone levels which affect the parts of the brain that control our emotions.  Add to that the depression of the immune system, the death of cells throughout the body that need repair,  the overwhelming fatigue that is cumulative with each treatment, the interference with sleep, the magnitude of loss associated with the diagnosis, etc., etc.  Most people also hurt everywhere.  It is normal to feel isolated, afraid, sad, out of control emotionally, and totally wonder "who am I, now?"  As treatment continues the effects accumulate, and our ability to deal with the changes becomes more impaired. It's a real roller coaster. Speaking strictly for myself, all of this happened. I can tell you that all I needed from the people I love was space, time, and hugs.  I'm sure they didn't even recognize me at times.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2009

    She would also be going through the normal stages of grief. Some of which are anger and denial. She is grieving her loss of health and the potential loss of life which is something we all think about when diagnosed. She could be mentally separating herself from those she loves because she knows it hurts you to see her in pain. No one wants pity at this time either. And no one who hasn't gone through it can understand.

    I'd look up the stages of grief and see if there is any recommendations on how you can help. Good luck. 

  • roseg
    roseg Member Posts: 3,133
    edited February 2009

    Is she taking little green pills before each treatment? My husband took something called decadron before some treatments. They prevented reactions and enhanced the action of the drugs.

    I'll tell you, in the days afterwards when he'd quit taking them he was obnoxious! One time he yelled at me for putting peanuts on his ice cream sundae. Like that was a bad idea? He likes peanuts.  Even our son said, "dad, give it a break".

    My solution to steroid withdrawal is lots of a little pill called avitian. Encourage your wife to take her meds. If she's bouncing around being nasty to you she's not feeling well herself. Just because she's not throwing up doesn't mean she doesn't need to take her meds!

    Very few people are cranky when taking that, and oftentimes they'll drift off to sleep.

  • bmdaley
    bmdaley Member Posts: 292
    edited February 2009

    Hi Jeff -- your wife is so lucky to have such a loving husband. Going through chemotherapy really makes your body feel crappy, especially after you've been on it for a while. At one point, I was weepy all the time and discovered through serendipity that it was really because my nutrition was really being taxed by the chemo. I found that acupuncture and seeing a nutritionist helped me so much emotionally as well as physically. I started some supplements and improved my diet and that helped a lot. That said, there are many days when the chemo makes me feel run down or when it seems like its taking a lot of energy just to take care of my children and hug my husband. Sometimes its hard to be the best person you really want to be. This is a hard time for her but your continued love and support will see her through.

  • jeffb
    jeffb Member Posts: 2
    edited February 2009

    Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and respond.  Your kind words, explanations, and support really do make a difference!!!  My wife truly is the one and only treasure in my life, and I will continue to do whatever needs to be done to get her through this.  She has 9 more weeks of Taxol, and possible 6 weeks of radiation treatments to follow.  Her next Taxol is tomorrow.  She is a very strong lady, and I know that she will get through this.  I'm hanging in there, and I am better now, than when I first posted this question.

    I have to say that you ladies are a great source of inspiration!!!

  • SunshineSmiles
    SunshineSmiles Member Posts: 769
    edited February 2009

    Jeff,

    I agree with all that these ladies have said.  I also want you to know that my husband and I went to some counseling after my diagnosis, because I needed to vent on someone besides him.  He is the love of my life and it really helped to unload on someone who is professional and knows how to get me off the "hamster wheel" of anxiety, sadness and grief.  The grief is very real, and can be difficult to process.  I grieved for my old naivety, my health, my happiness and my breasts.  It has taken almost 4 years to almost come to terms with it.  Professional help is nothing to be scared of, it can actually give peace of mind.

    Susan 

  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited February 2009

    Hi, Jeff,

    Just wanted to welcome you and thank you for being there for your wife.

    You've gotten some very good advice. BMdaley mentioned decadron (a pre-chemo steroid). Let me just add that taking this pill made me worry more about losing my mind than having cancer. My boyfriend would come home from work, and he'd find me either shaking in my shoes from an episode off "CSI" or crying over a TV commercial. That's so totally not me. The irrational portion of my brain had a bloody field-day on that drug. Add to that the general state of fear that goes with a bc diagnosis. Your wife may be experiencing either or both, and believe me, it makes you kinda crazy.

    Something I tell every guy who comes here...don't be hard on yourself because you can't fix this. That's the oncologist's job. It's going to be frustrating for you because you're going to want to fix this, which will make it frustrating for your wife. Just listen to her when she needs to talk or cry or scream or rant. Don't try to fix what she's feeling, either. The only times I really snarled at my boyfriend were when he tried to "fix" what I was feeling. Don't go there.

    The last piece of wisdom I'll share is, don't read articles published on the Internet that are older than 2005. And remember that anything published now is based on studies that began more than five years ago, so although you're reading the most current research, it's already old statistics and possibly outdated therapies. Good luck and best wishes to you both!

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited February 2009

    I have never had chemo, but I just wanted to echo some of the other posters said about steroids (dexamethasone (Decadron), etc.)   I'm a hospital pharmacist.  I will never forget when I was a pharmacy student, and my first evening 'on the floors'.  I saw a nurse who walked out of a patient's room, totally drenched.  I was shocked.  She casually said of the patient, "She dumped the pitcher of ice water on me. She's on Decadron."

    This does not happen to everyone, but I have dispensed anti-psychotic medications for people who have to be on steroids.

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited February 2009

    All these ladies have good info for you.  You might also want to talk to the oncologist, or nurse, or social worker, or nurse practioner at the cancer center.  They may be able to help both your wife and yourself; probably have dealt with this before.

    Hang in there, you will get thru this. It is an amazingly stressful time for everyone.

    My prayers are with you.

    Elaine

  • carolsd
    carolsd Member Posts: 358
    edited February 2009

    Rose, I tried googling "avitian" and didn't find any medication called that. Is that something new? I have a co-worker whose wife is going through the same thing and I would love to help him out!

  • Britt
    Britt Member Posts: 731
    edited February 2009

    Hi - just ran into this thread - perhaps Rose meant to write "Ativan?" That's an anti-anxiety drug that is similar to Xanax, I believe.

    Leaf - that's some story about the Decadron!  I will be starting chemo sometime in mid-March and I will definitely remember that!  As you said, not everyone reacts in the same way to steroids - but that is really something!

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2009

    gosh... cancer treatment wears on you after a while.  One of the most difficult things for me is to be the positive, loving mom and wife I was before diagnosis... so many things weigh on your mind, coupled with the side effects of treatment.

    she if lucky to have you.  I talked with my onc. and she gave me some light pain pills that miraculously  help sooooooooooo much.  It's not as if i were in constant pain, but discomfort seemed to be always with me.  Getting rid of that helped immensely.  I hope she feels free to discuss this with her doctor.

    "So..., my question is, does Taxol have any known side effects that may involve changes in her mental status?  This behavior is totally unlike her.  After 23 years together, I have never seen this side of her."

     I personally love the steroids (decadron maybe or perhaps dexa methasomething) that they pump into me everytime i get me taxol.. they really help with the nausea and energy level...  but it makes my already short fuse REALLY SHORT,  I am prone to  yelling,.. and yelling loudly, something I have never done.  (my poor kiddies - they look at me as if I'm nuts).   it's very noticeable.  it's a very stimulating drug and very helpful in dealing with the taxol that flows thru your system, but you cannot just 'turn it off'.. it stays with you for the 1st three days.  Perhaps that is what is producing the mood changes.

    best of luck to the two of you.

  • Jorf
    Jorf Member Posts: 498
    edited February 2009

    I'm right up there with the people blaming the steroids - that's exactly the kind of response that could be expected. I suggest a talk with the oncologist about it. When I was doing chemo I realized that the steroids were keeping me up and asked if we could shorten the amount of time I needed to take them after chemo and she did make that change and it helped a lot. (She'd had me on a taper, which isn't really necessary for the very short amount of time that it was actually needed for the chemo.)

    Must say, I was recently on prednisone for a terrible ear infection and LOVED it. Nothing hurt. My energy was good. LOVED it. People tend to either get up or crazy with it. I had one patient once say that he "was outside cutting the lawn with toenail clippers at 3 in the morning" and I actually believed him because these things can do that to you!

    Anyway, bear with it. Don't take it personally. She's probably wondering why she's doing it too. It'll all be over soon.

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