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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer

We are all here for the same reason. We have had our lives affected by breast cancer. We have all worried, cried, prayed, laughed, stayed up at night, fought, tired , felt angry, felt joy and had our victories and defeats. We are a SISTERHOOD that is unique in a very challenging struggle. Nothing else outside of religion or family is as important. It saddens me that there are survivors that need this board and have been on this board for years and are now gone over nonsense. Survivors that have been our friends and our shoulder to cry on. Survivors that have been our strong towers and our leaning post are leaving because we find it robbery to insult each other over  things that could be solved else where . We all will never be or think the same.(thankfully!I like diversity)We are adults and can respect the right for others to think differently. I thought this was a place to find friends and people who were going through the same struggle as you , not a place for politics. There are many different avenues for that in this world...WE need this forum for FIGHTING CANCER! I posted a question to the "opposing teams" the answer is we all got ourselves here, in this mess the country is in. We all have to get ourselves out ..TOGETHER! So let it be behind us and lets move forward and fight for a CURE for our DAUGHTERS!!!! I thought that is what this site is about. Not losing friends who can give great in site to new comers because of a portion of this site that can be argued else where. MY God knows no respect of person. We are all in the same boat. Lets all paddle together and get something done about BREAST CANCER! This is my humble opinion. I have not been here in a while. I miss my friends. I miss my friends I may never see again. I miss my friends God has taken to Glory. I hope in this new year we can put differences aside and look towards the goal I thought this site was for. Making sure our Daughters and Nieces and Granddaughters do not suffer as we.

Much Love and Respect,

Benita      

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Comments

  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited January 2009

    Amen, Benita!

    Love,

    Ann

    (P.S. I sent you a PM...)

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  • yellowrose
    yellowrose Member Posts: 886
    edited January 2009

    Agreed, Amen.

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited January 2009

    Hi Benita, 

     I am in much agree with what you wrote.

    Wheeee--did I miss something---someone need to leave me a PM??

    I feel like poeple  are all different and may voice the same(Different)--sometimes just needing to vent about things.  As I say to My "Adult Family Members---You Can Hear It, You Don't Have To "Wear It!!!  Move On!!!

    This has been a place of Love and Support--we got to maintain that!!!

    Linda C

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    I'm new to posting.  Benita your words were beautiful.

    Amen.

    Achi

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Hello Achi,

    Welcome to our group of "supportive sisters", as it was said to me, "sorry we have to meet this way."

    Post when you can, we are here!!!

    Linda C..

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Linda, thank you for the welcome.  I had IDC, 3 cm, stage 2, 1/node, ER-/PR-, HER2+.  Also had a BRCA 2 mutation.  Guess I should have put that in my bio like you did.  I worry about my daughters and my sons.  Breast cancer for the girls and Prostate cancer for the boys. 

    It is sad we have to meet this way.  I have been reading for a while now and find the support here to be wonderful.  It's strange not being able to talk to others.  Not my husband, not my kids, not my friends.  They think everything is fine now that treatment is over. 

    Nice meeting you.

    Achi

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Hi Achi,

    We can't help but worry about our children around  the CA.  I have 2 daughters, ages 41 and 40 and a son 31.  3 granddaughters, ages 19, 17,and 7---1 grandson 20.  It is sad the males can get this stuff too.  I had the BRCA test--it was negative--yet it still leaves one baffled as "what"??!!  My girls and son are still high risk even though I don't carry the gene.

    I love this site----yeah there are the times when I know (family) as hard as they try, do not, not understand what we are going through.  Mine have told me--they forget anything is wrong with me, its funny and it ain't.  They say they take their "cue" from me---so the taller I stand---so do they.  So we are here,(The Ladies) and you can vent what you are thinking and feeling, and we have had a group that jump right in with support and conversations that we can all relate to--so come on anytime.  I learn a lot from the ladies, and we have sisters here that are great prayer warriors and folks have felt free to ask for prayer, it just feels good.

    I check in almost every day and yeah, late at night, as nights are rough for me, just have been since I have had this--it is like the night comes alive--with all the thoughts--ugh!!!

    Take care of you, looking to hear from you any time.

    Linda C

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Linda you are such a nice person.  I don't sleep too well either.  Seems like I wake up every hour and then while I'm at work I am yawning all day.  In the beginning I remember waking up with such a heaviness in my heart.  Now that treatment is over, that is better.  Now I wake up and think today will be a good day.

    Achi

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Hi Achi,

    Thanks Smile

    Going through treatment is rough---I worked through the Chemo in 1999, I took off for the day and maybe 2-3 days following, I was 10 years younger then---but I thought if I could get up and get dressed to go to work, I would not have to think about me and my illness--I think it worked for me, I was around people all day and talking to  people---I was tired when it came to radiation time, so I stayed home and rested during the time I did that. 

    I like your attitude---to think today will be a good day----that is important and can certainly help.  Now--If I felt it was what I called a "Cancer Day", I learn to give myself permission to "feel" on that day whatever it was--if I felt like crying I did, tired, well I'm tired, I feel it is important to feel what we feel or it comes out in "other ways" as any ill feelings, anger, headaches, stomach aches, along with what we already are carrying.

    I think the waking and the"heaviness in your heart " was real--it is such a time of uncertainty., and fear.  I am glad it is better for you.

    Well as you see I am a talker----so keep me posted.

    Take care of you.

    Linda C

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Linda:  I'm laughing because normally I am a talker also.  Working 2 jobs doesn't give me much time on the computer.  I worked through treatment also.  Some days I would have to come home, but then would make up for the day on a Saturday or Sunday.  I thought it was hard, but I really agree with what you said.  Getting up and going to work kept my mind busy on others things as for a while BC was in all of my thoughts.

    Regarding genetic testing, I believe there are so many genes that haven't been identified yet.  Enjoying being off for the week-end and hoping you check in. 

    Achi

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Achi,

     Glad you are off  this weekend and hope you were able to have some"Me Time" just because!!

    Working 2 jobs--You got to do what you got to do.  My daughters are single Moms, one has her only child in college, the other one has 3, 1 out on his own and 2 at home, she works 2 jobs, they both have jobs that are 6 days. I hope your jobs are easy.

    I agree that there are still genes to be tested.

    Today is my Birthday, I am 62 Blessed to be here--It has been a good day!!!

    Good to hear from you--post when you can---I'll be watching.

    Linda C.

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Hello Ladies,

    Looking forward to hearing from you all--whats going on with you all???

    I hope all is well. Missing hearing from ya.

    Linda C.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Hello all,

    Very new to all this.  Almost finished with testing.  Oncotype DX just being sent out thiw week and then will meet with onc dr about treatments.  There's so much information out there and so I'm a little overwhelmed by it all.  My early stage, small lump, clean results from MRI's, biopsies, etc. have me just confused and not knowing what to expect. 

    Initially my BS said (back in Nov) that chemo was a given.  Then she said, well maybe only hormone therapy, then back to chemo.  She said 30 pct chance of recurrence without chemo.  My onc dr however doesn't think chemo will be needed so sending out the oncotype dx to get a better idea.  There's just so much waiting.  I've been reading these boards, and google many terms, meds, etc., have a book that gave me lots of initial info.  Learned as I've gone along that the more I learn the less I know.  Hard to ask questions when you don't know what to ask.

    So far I've handled it pretty well.  I think because even though I know I'm sick I don't feel sick so maybe I'm not taking it as seriously as I should.  Is this normal? 

    Sorry for the long post but I just am lost...

    Thanks.

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Hi patoo,

    We are sorry you have to meet us like this, but we welcome you anytime.

    Your feelings for all the "mixed feelings and many unknown questions" are all so very real, and you sound like you are coming along just fine---been there!!!

    I recall my nurse telling me--"because you can't see Cancer",  people do not see us as sick, and there is "Catch 22" for this, there will be days when you will feel---Don't they know I am sick, and there will be days that, because you don't feel sick--you won't want to be treated as such---yeah, and that confuses folks.  Now, it is about you now--so for once, You Feel What You Feel and this is what is Real.

    You take it day by day and that is all we can do.

    I allow myself "Cancer Days". believe me, they will come, and if I feel like tears that day. I let 'em roll, Feel what you feel.  Right now if you feel good--feel that.

    I believe too, that when you need to "hit on serious" you will.  You just don't have to "Wear Serious for Skin everyday"!!!  And you are not--I like your Attitude!!!!

    Post when you want, I learn a lot from the ladies and we are here for support.

    Take care.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    patto sorry you had to come here to meet us, but I'm so glad you found us.  You will find lots of support.  In the begining it is overwhelming.  I'm guessing the oncotype test will direct you as to which treatment will be best for you.  Sending a big hug your way.

    Linda:  Hello to you, I just came to lurk but had to say hello.

    Achi

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited February 2009

    Hi Achi,

    Hope all is going your way.  Always good to hear from you.  I think I got my days and nites mixed--I have been sleeping in late like Noon, but it is because I am not sleepy and this has been going on for a awhile.  I have a hair appt at 10 AM, I will be there though.

    Take care of you!!

    Linda C.

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  • kaholl
    kaholl Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2009

    Hi,

    I am new to the forum.  Very happy to read all of the positive messages.  I was diagnosed in May "07" Stage IIa/ 1 node.  I just tested positive for blood in stool after doing the hemocult blood test.  Does anyone have any information on this?

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  • Lcharmie
    Lcharmie Member Posts: 430
    edited March 2009

    Hi kahoo,

    I am glad you found us--I too feel there is a lot of positive messages here too.

    I do not know about your situation, but I am glad you had tests ran---I will keep you in prayer for good results.  Keep in mind, that a lot of "such' may be "fixable'.  However, whenever we are through, we don't want to hear none of this, sounding like "one more thing".

    Keep us posted.

    Take care of you!!!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2009

    Update - Oncotype = 13.  With all other tests negative and offending lump removed Onco-Doc says he sees no need  for chemo.  Just radiation and hormone therapy.

    I can keep my hair - hurray! 

    God is still in the driver's seat. 

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