A husbands' story

My mom was diagnosed yesterday, it is overwhelming, but you have to limit yourself to taking one day at a time, one news at a time. You will worry, be anxious, but it got "easier" for us, once we had the diagnosis confirmed, and plan of action in place. Everybody said to me, the worst is waiting and not knowing, and I could not agree more. But it gets little bit "easier" once you are starting treatments.

What helps, is getting yourself informed from reliable websites, like this one. Read as much as you can, get info on your own, do not rely only on the doctor to give you all information. You almost will have to become your own cancer expert, and go beyond what usually people who have not experienced it know about it ( which is nothing, other than the word cancer). Do not blindly trust all the stuff you read on the web, it will make your head spin, and increase your anxiety. Look at the dates of posted studies, as some of them seem to be outdated. Then run it by the doctor who takes care of your wife. Do not be afraid to talk to the doctor, nurses( they are great source of information, and are usually more accessible then the docs).

Otherwise hang in there, 

Renia. 

The information on this site is a very good place to start. If your wife just got the first biopsy results, it may be a week or so until she gets the more complete results which will tell you things about the cancer cells such as which receptors are positive. Very agressive cancers may be positivie for the HER2 receptor (often shown as HER2+). That use to be bad news and if you read older web material on it don't let it scare you. In the last few years a drug called Herceptin that attacks the HER2 receptor has shown great results. It is now a good thing to be HER2+ because Herceptin improves survival so much. That is an example of why you want to be aware of the age of BC information you read on the web. Treatment improvements are being made in a number of areas.

You might also read the thread that was just started on the Memorial Sloan-Kettering study of mostly stage III women. They got very good results.

When I first received my diagnosis, I was truly scared.  My thoughts were that this is really bad and that I would not be around for my children.  Now that my surgery is over and I have done research, I feel completely different.  I have not started my chemo yet but my outlook is much different.  I know the survival rates are much higher than ever and that I WILL be here for my children and grandchildren (and I hope for grandchildren much later since my oldest is only 12).  Be the best supporter you can for your wife.  She'll need you.  My husband has done an outstanding job under this pressure.  We've always been close but this has brought us unbelievably closer.  Hang in there.  Knowledge is power and it makes things less scary.