Gift for friend, stage 4 BC, terminal.

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hippiesamurai
hippiesamurai Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

I recently looked up a friend and we'll meet in the coming weeks. We haven't seen or spoken to each other in 12 years. Through email correspondence she has told me she is fighting for the third time and has reached Terminal Stage 4, full blown metastasized BC. She is inside a two year window. I have always had feelings for her and if she will allow me to be a part her life, I am prepared to be there for her.

I'd like to get her a thoughtful gift for the first time we meet but, I'm at a loss for the appropriateness. The gentleman side of me would bring a silk scarf or a single rose but I think this occasion requires more subtlety and finesse.  

I'm open to suggestions...

Thanks

.

Response to your replies;

Mmm, I agree, quality chocolate speaks volumes without making a statement.

Thank's for your ideas and reaffirming my thoughts.

Peace  ~j 

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2009

    Decadent chocolate. Ridiculously expensive chocolate. Deep, dark, rich chocolate. Imported chocolate. 80% or more cocoa chocolate. Truffles.

    Something-she-would-never-buy-herself chocolate. 

    She will think of you every time she enjoys one. If she just can't eat them, she will have them to offer guests.

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  • YATCOMW
    YATCOMW Member Posts: 664
    edited February 2009

    Honestly.... I think you have the gift already...."I am prepared to be there for her"...

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  • badboob67
    badboob67 Member Posts: 2,780
    edited February 2009

    Wow, that's a tough one!  I'm stage IV (will be 3 years this Sunday) and I know I've been a tough one to find the right gift for....probaby was before stage IV too!  For me, I don't like things that "remind" me I have cancer (like I could forget!!) or things that serve no purpose. On the practical side, a silk scarf is lovely but those of us who have lost our hair will tell you they have a tendency to slip off our smooth heads. Flowers are always a nice and thoughtful gift.

    Barbe's suggestion is great if she likes chocolate (her again, I'm picky because I don't like chocolate!). Is she a reader? What are her hobbies? I think any gift that shows you've taken the time to really listen is a winner. Maybe you could present her with tickets to a show or concert. Maybe she's the sort of person that would be thrilled if you hired a cleaning service to come in and straighten up when she's feeling poorly. One of my favorite gifts was when my aunt had my favorite pizza put on dry ice and shipped to me at Christmastime. I live several hundred miles away and hadn't eaten my favorite pizza for years.

    LOL...we women are hard to figure out. The fact that you are asking for advice is in your favor! Just open up your ears and listen; I'm sure just the right gift idea will come to you.  Good luck!

    Please let your friend know about us here. There are so many wonderful people here that can offer information, support, and friendship to  you both.

    (((HUGS)))
    Diane

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2009

    Other suggestions I've read elsewhere are entire DVD series like say Sex & The City. But as you haven't been close lately, you don't know what she likes or already has. Same as books. You might get her something totally off.

    I think a cleaning service is nice, but again, do you know her well enough or would she be surprised?

    As you don't know her very well, the olive branch you hold out should really be covered in chocolate. But that's just my humble opinion. 

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited February 2009

    I agree with Barbe, something frivolous, something she would not get for herself. A single rose, or better yet a small bouq. of spring flowers is a lovely idea. Think of first date gestures, the rest will follow as it is meant to be.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2009

    If she doesn't like the chocolate, she can send it to me!

    Seriously though, it can always be re-gifted or shared. I'm voting for chocolate...

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