Recovery time

jellen...Everyone is different, but I'd say that 13 months is not a very long time post-tx. When I was 13 months out, I was just emerging from the emotional trauma of it all. While we're going through the active stuff like surgery & chemo, we suck it up and go into warrior mode. Then, seemingly suddenly, all the bustle & noise stops and we're just stunned...and feeling like we're just cut loose out here & just flapping in the wind. And so we try to process it all and recover. For some I guess it's a snap. But for most of us, we have to deal with all of the physical residuals, like fatigue, chemo brain, pain & insomnia from tamoxifen or an AI, skin & hair changes...you name it. And then there's the emotional hangover..depression, anxiety, fears about recurrence, all direct leftovers from the year+ long trauma we've just gone through.

Have you thought about a support group or even seeng a counselor who specializes in cancer issues? If that doesn't strike you as potentially helpful, maybe starting something distracting but not too taxing might give you a new perspective and engender more energy (at least emotional energy). Finally, I'll just add that if you haven't had a thorough workup to rule out physical causes for your low immunity, maybe you should start there (I know, you're sick of doctors, but this could be worth it!).

Hang in there, girl. And keep posting. So many of us share these issues and we can help one another get through them...together.

~Marin

Yes Fitchik,

You've hit the hammer on the nail!  It sounds crazy, after all the treatments are over, we should be happy, ecstatic, etc. and everyone expects us to be back to normal (after all, we are now okay).  It's true, after diagnosis, you are going through a million things (tests, surgery, treatments, etc) you don't have a minute to think about anything else but getting through all this (super women mode)!  After everything is finished, it's almost like a let down (kind of like when you plan a wedding), you go crazy for months planning, and then it's all over, and then what!  So, we finish treatments, we are hopefully all cured, now we should be able to move on.  Somehow moving on is harder then the treatments, because now we either finally realized what we have just endured, and what it all really meant (we weren't really thinking of this during all the fuss).  Now, we think about oh my god, I had cancer, and all of a sudden, we are dealing with what now, fear, depression, and all the leftover side affects. 

So glad that this board exists, because people around us (who have not been through this) will NEVER get it.  My husband says, I understand you are depressed, but it's enough, move on.  My sister-in-law tells me, go get pills, you need to get over this.  It is SO easy for others to tell you what you should do, how you should feel, etc., but when you are the one going through it, it's so different.

Thanks for putting it into words, it's inspiring for all of us to hear things that we feel, and make us feel that we are not all crazy thinking these things.

Shelley

I have been askin myself HOW LONG will it take to get my life back.......or the next leg of my journey back... I am only 4 months post BMX. And I did not have to deal with Chemo/Rads/ Tamox or any other evils or working.  I felt the absolute worse the first 3 months....then I hit bottom emotionaly...and have been for the most part getting better.

I have just begun to surrender to the fact and as DH is also becomming more aware ... that I am not recoverying from Gall Bladder Surgery..... that this is going to take close to a year physical front and like 2 years emotionally. 

I am looking forward to winter and just hibernating.....mending. Taking care of me. I hope that that time comes for you.

 Its a long way back and most of us are clueless to what we have to go thru on every level of our being.... mental/emotional/ physical/ spiritual.....and its not all goin to happen in 6 weeks post op when your BS says YOUR HEALED.

(( Strength to see you/ us thru ))