Mom

katmks · February 2009

My mom was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer. They found it on a Mamogram and the first biopsy came back as negative but when they biopseyed another area is when they found it. She is scheduled for a Lumpectomy and they are also going to check her Lymphnodes. She I being a trooper but I don't know what to say or do just to be there for her. Its just me and her now, as we lost my dad about 4 years ago to a different kind of cancer and he was end stage when diagnosed. This has hit me really hard and I am just trying to deal and not doing very well. Guess I just need some good thoughts Wink

shiny · February 2009

Dear Katmks,

I am very sorry to hear your news. This must be very upsetting and scary for you, especially because, for your dad, things had gone so far when he was diagnosed. It must be very hard for you not too compare the 2 situations.

Try not too, and keep remembering that this is a total new situation.

Well done for coming on here. You will need some support, so don't just use this site, get yourself a team of emotional helpers to shoulder the strain with you.Sometimes you might want someone like a friend to talk to and sometimes you might want a school councilor or cancer nurse. get their numbers in your wallet and never be shy to share, it will take the pressure off you, which will also help your mom. Stay open with your mom too. I am sure you are her main concern in this and she will want to know that you have all the help you need.

Big hug girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

remember, this is a new situation, try to face it positively. You will both feel better when you have more information on her biopsy and node dissection, and, you have a plan of action to make your mom better.

Got to go take care of my kids in a bit but, I just wanted to send you some very positive vibes.

ps: I have 2 young kids, was diagnosed at 39, and despite the full on treatment I had, it was still a good year in many ways and I was able to stay positive throughout and really enjoy my kids. I am recovering now.

hope i helped you, just a wee bit whilst you have to wait with your mom for more info.

I am sure that you are very close and that when you are needed, your hugs and love with do the job for your mom.

Shiny

BFidelis · February 2009

Sorry you're here, but you're in the right place. I've been on both sides--the daughter whose mom is dx'd and the mom who has to tell the daughters about the dx. YUCK. Neither is a great place to be. Your mom is probably as/more worried about you than you are about her, believe it or not.

Be there for her. Come here whenever you need to. Blessings on you for acting with love.

Dona Nobis Pacem,

Beth

barbe1958 · February 2009

As I told my daughter (25), you don't have to be strong or brave for me. Maybe I want to share tears with you.

Let your mom cry, plan for the worst, laugh like an idiot, and then appear completely normal and confuse you.

You both have the right to be scared, angry, afraid, nervous, cranky and bitchy. Try to have some funny moments along the way to break up the tension. A good movie, stand up comedy DVD or some such is a welcome respite from the horror of the whole mess.

I learned to truly live in the moment. Made no long-term plans to worry about but made sure I had little things to look forward to. Chocolate, hugs, cards all go a long way to say things that you don't know quite how to say, or are afraid to bring up. Don't be afraid to discuss anything. Your mom knows you are scared too.

staying_positive_4_mum · February 2009

This week has been one of the worst in my families life, especially my wonderful, beautiful mum's. Mum was diagnosed on Thursday, my 21st birthday, and her and dad decided that they would keep it to themselves until after my party on the Saturday night. Sunday morning dad told my two younger sisters, 16 and 13 and I the bad news and that mum was going in for surgery the next day. It was decided that the youngest children 8 and 5 were only going to be told that mum was going into hopsital to get better. They didn't ask questions.

We were absolutley devstated, still are, and cuddled mum and dad for a long long time and cried. Mum was adament that she wanted my boyfriend and I to return to Wellington for work and university, and doesn't want us to change our schedules for her.

She has just come out of surgery and has returned home, I have been talking to dad every day and he sounds absolutlry shattered. Mum is really upset and emotional and doesn't want to see anyone, which is understandable. My sisters and I don't know what else to do, and I am going to go home tomorrow to take over looking after the kids.

We will know on Tuesday what else needs to be done and what steps to take. Mum is a fighter and she will beat this but I am still unsure, as dad and the rest of the family is, what is around the corner and what breast cancer involves. This website is a lifesaver!!!!

Katmks, you are not alone, it is really hepful to find others that are going through the same thing, and if you ever want to talk, I know it is hard, people on here are really great.

DaughterMom · February 2009

You will find the suport that you need from this website and from your family. Sounds like you are a close family, and you will get through this. The first step is to just be there for your mom, and offer any support she may need, which you are already doing. It is very tough at diagnoses, emotions run high. Take care.

Mom

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