Starting chemo January 2009?
Comments
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Renrel: Couldn't agree with you more regarding date nights. We both need that connection too. Just can't let this cancer interfere with something that's so high priority in my book.
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My hair is coming out in clumps today and I'm getting my head shaved and wig this afternoon. The hair was coming out so fast this morning I decided to call in a sub - I guess its still considered a sick day since I'm so sick about losing my hair. I did think it might be funny though if I told my worst class "You're making me pull my hair out!!!!" and I really could have pulled a pretty good clump out for them!
My mother just called me and was going to go with me to my appt. this afternoon along with my sister, brother, and a cousin, but she is on her way to the emergency room. She had sepsis recently - staph in her blood - and seems to not be able to get over it completely. I'm thinking the rest of my family should be with her now instead of with me for my little hair thing. Her condition is pretty serious and the hospital is nearby my appt. so I can be there when I'm finished. This will definitely take my mind off my hair.
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Hi everyone! I hope all of you are having a good day. I'm on my way for #2. I'm really dreading the neulasta shot tomorrow. I'm going to ask my oncologist about the claritan some of you mentioned.I have been feeling so good this week. Back to reality this weekend. I will let everyone know how it went .Take care.
This email was sent to me by my sister-in-law. it made me feel better.
He arrived this morning. We had prayer. Spent some time talking. He held me for awhile because I was having a bad morning. Then he was on his way to your place. May God Bless all of you.
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Had TAC #2 yesterday.....last night it kicked me to the curb! I feel better this morning though. I'm head out in a little bit to get my wig styled and my neulasta shot.
I've had a good week---especially since my son made it home safely from deployment!
Wishing everyone a great symptom free weekend!
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BevR that is so awesome about your son. Thank him from me!
Just pack from Tx 3. Infusion went well and feeling good so far. Just a little loopy in a "comfortably numb" kind of way. My doctor and nurses continue to be my biggest cheerleaders and I walk out of there feeling like a conquering hero!
I asked my onc about Claritin. She said she'd heard about it before but couldn't say if it really helps (great answer). She did say it wouldn't hurt and I should give it a try.
Running my 9 year old to the doctor so more on this later...I've been asked to participate in a clinical trial. I'll come back with the details but am wondering if anyone else has been approached or is even on one yet. If so which one, etc. I'd love to do it if it all works out but have some questions...
Stay well everyone!
Diane
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BevR - Congrats!!!!!!!! Wonderful news about your son!!!!
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I got my insurance statement today regarding my first chemo treatment. The chemo drugs cost almost $4900.What shocked me most was that the injection of Neulasta cost $4000!! Thank heavens for insurance!
I have been reading the posts re: Decadron dosages. I take 4 mg twice a day the day before, of and after chemo. I didn't have any problems with that dose.
HOLTBOLT: My next treatment is Friday the 13th!! Lucky me! I wish you luck with your next treatment. I'm getting Cytoxan and Taxorene. Are you going for radiation after chemo? I took a leave of absence from work til after my chemo then I'll go back to work and start with about 7 weeks of radiation.
My hair is really falling out now. I can't seem to bring myself to getting my head shaved. To control my shedding (as my husband calls it!) I wear a bandana. I have a wig but have not put it on since I I first tried it on at the hairdressers on Tuesday.
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Just back from AC #3. Ugh. This is my Kryptonite. It went better than before. I was almost relaxed. The Neulasta shot burns a lot but that wasn't so bad this time either, still, I'll feel like crud for a while. The day of is the worst for me, so I plan to sleep. I'll feel a little less weird tomorrow.
How are all the jewels? I get happy just thinking about you all. Hope everyone is having a good day.
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BevR - that is excellent news about your son. Congratulations!
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Wow, YearofthHat, we are really on the same schedule. See my post above re: my AC #3 treatment today. I was relaxed also but it's directly related to my "only one more" mantra! Check in tomorrow and let me know how you're feeling. So far I've been fine until the Monday morning Neulasta.
Stay well!
Diane
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Bev R - that's great news about your son...
Bev56 - Treatment number 2 of Taxotere and Cytoxan is Tuesday... if I can manage the heartburn and weird throbbing pain from the Neulasta this time around I believe it just might be better than tx #1. No radiation for me. But I did have 33 radiation treatments in the summer of '07 after a lumpectomy (yeah, this is my 2nd experience with BC). Radiation is a walk in the park compared to chemo I can tell ya that....it's almost a non-event... you show up, they zap you, you go home - not a big deal (at least for me).
Shocked - my onc never heard of such a thing.. taking Claritin for bone pain but this time around, I'm going to give that a shot... what can it hurt.
Hope everyone has a restful, relaxing Friday night and weekend.
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just got back from head shave....I feel great!!!!! I have a crew cut...which Ithink lookd fine...unfortunatly it'll fall out..but oh well!!! As least the shave was a breeze. The women in the salon sitting around were more choked up than I was!!!
What a relief to have yet another piece of this behind me.....getting ready for tx#2 on Thurs!
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I made an appointment to get a short hair cut tomorrow but I am not sure I want to do it. I am not really bothered by the hair falling out so far. I mean in it being a mess or annoying to have hair all over the house kind of way. I am bothered by the concept that it is falling out and will eventually be gone. But I have alot of hair and it will take more than a week for it to fall out to the extent that I look patchy or balding or something. But my hair does not look very good these days anyway. I think the damage to the follical that makes it fall out also makes it lay flat or something. It seems that everyone that shaves or buzzes their head is happy but I am scared to do it. I like the warmth of my hair and being able to feel it with my hands DS however can't wait to see me bald. He is very curious about it. I have an appointment to pick out which of the wigs I ordered I want on Tuesday, right after I have blood drawn for Wednsday's infusion. And this time around I am doing Nuelasta which has me nervous. I don't know. I am just feeling down and tired today, but I did finally get next to all my paperwork in. I need to hand in my LOA form for the chemo bit of treatment to my boss. I also made contact with someone who does Reiki today but I was running out the door for my accupuncture appointment so I did not schedule anything. I got a package from my Chemo angel today. Maybe I should go open it. Maybe that will lift my mood.
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Is Taxol worse than AC? We booked a cruise at the end of my taxol. hope it's going to be ok. It is 10 days after. then radiation when I get back yippee
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BevR - my gratitude to your son for his service. A big welcome home!!
Holtbolt: will you ask your onc iwhat caused your chest tightness and shortness of breath-- chemo or neulasta? My onc nurse thinks my Red Cells might be low -- which certainly could account for it. The onc at the infusion center said it might be the taxotere. In either case, it;s a transient side effect. I am still a little winded and my exercise tolerance is still low.
Tx # 3 for me on Thursday --that'll be the halfway mark. This cycle has been a little tougher - finally feel better and I am going to enjoy every minute of it.
Re the hair thing: I have lost most of the back and sides, but have quite a bit in on the top -- I look a bit like a Kewpie doll. Am wondering if more will go this weekend - which will be the same time interval as when it fell out from the first treatment. Although I'm not having any itching or tenderness....
Take Care Jewels..Have a great weekend,
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Renrel,
It's your hair, girl..what makes everyone else happy might not be for you! It it makes you feel any better I definitely jumped the gun on mine. I had my third treatment yesterday (so that's 29 days out from first) and I still have an almost full head of crew cut. It's definitely a little thinner and there are about 3 balding spots (that have been there for days) where the wig and hats rub the most. Don't get me wrong, I'm still glad I did it but it would probably still look pretty decent if I hadn't or had just gotten a very short hair cut.
My dh and I are enjoying the joke being played on me
I did it to be in control. It's like God is saying "You think YOU'RE in control?" bwhahahahahahaha
Good luck. You'll be beautiful no matter what you do!
Diane
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Bev R- Yes!!!!! It must be wonderful to have you son back.
<:AtomicElement>I had my head shaved and I am So glad. Felt good to not shed all over all day. I wore a hat to work and had one student innocently ask why he couldn't wear a hat....the rest of the class patiently told him and he was okay with it. I did try on the wig again, and it looks much better without the real hair pushing it up on my head like a crown. I feel extremely relieved and my family couldn't honestly look at me without repressing a laugh. I was calling myself Dana Carvey's the church lady with the wig! Well, Ya gotta laugh!
<:AtomicElement>Tx #2 is done!!! I felt much more nausea than before ...I figured they had me take the emend too soon before this time. Neulasta shot hurt this time too, BUT day three and I feel a bit better.
<:AtomicElement> SO glad you all are keeping in touch. Really couldn't have done it without this web page.
<:AtomicElement>Hugs all
<:AtomicElement>Jess
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I canceled my hair appointment. Maybe I will go later this week, but I am not ready today. I had super thick hair so now it is probably a normal thickness. The shedding will get annoying I am sure but it had not hit my tolerance level yet. The girl at the hospital boutique/salon adviced me to keep washing and brushing it. That it will keep the scalp feeling better and avoid the formation of dred locks. She said brushing before showering and before bed would help with not having so much hair on the pillow in the morning (which I have not really noticed yet, maybe its the brown sheets) and in the drain.
Bev R - Wonderful news about your son. You must be so proud of him. The idea of my son maybe fighting in a war some days scares the heck out of me. I don't know how you did it. Are you feeling OK today?
Alo - Glad you love you new hair cut. Funny isn't how sometimes others are more upset by some of our trama then we are, and at other times they seem oblivious to our pain.
Yearofthehat - Glad this time went better even if it was not good. Hope you are feeling better today.
Shockedat39 - Glad you were feeling well after infusion #3, is that half way or 3/4 way through for you. Is your 9yr old ok?
Lester63- How did you haircut go? One reason I think I am holding off on cutting is that I have not had a chance to shock enough people by pulling my hair out. It is such an attention getter. When I work I conduct hearing on unemployment benefits. It is fun to picture the parties being really annoying or petty over something and me just loosing it, telling them to just get over it, while pulling out two big fists full of hair. the look on their faces would be priceless but it would probably result in a remand for a new hearing. I would never do something like that, I am known for never losing my temper and conducting very fair hearing where everyone gets to feel heard, but I can still fantasize.
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so, I've been in a funk for 2 days and I finally am feeling a bit better today. in addition to this board, i go to another breast cancer support board. that board tends to have younger women who are either single or have young kids.....so it helps me with issues with my kids in regards to breast cancer.
anyway, on thursday morning, i read that one of the posters there passed away. she had stage 3 cancer (my diagnosis) 2 years ago. when the treatment. then she had a recurrence that went to her liver. anyway, she passed away and left a 4 yr old daughter. i lost it! i seriously became just inconsolable....very sad.....very angry. so, i lived in a dark hole for 2 days.
how do i balance support board support with such tragic news?
sorry to be a downer here but thought i'd come clean on what i'm feeing. ugh.
Lisa
ETA: here's my link to my caring bridge journal where I wrote about it....you'll have to scroll back a day or two in my entires http://caringbridge.org/visit/lisamittleman
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Lisa....I am so sorry you had a bad time!!!! I went to a dark place about 2 weeks ago....about the hair thing.....and had to drag myself out of it. I have also read stuff here that got my ming rolling and found myself getting blue. For me...at that time the best thing was to push away from the computer.....which I did. It's natural to get down....hell we are dealing with cancer!!! Let yourself feel it....than move on....A positive attitude is critical to your care....and you have been doing great....just remember that. Personally, I have 2 local friend...and 2 friends from boards that I correspond with via email or facebook or in person. These women are all positive and when we support each other it really helps! We get down....but we talk ourselves out of it quickly!! Ihope you have enough other support with women who are going through it outside of the boards....of course they should be positive....like you are!!!!
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Thanks, Alo! what you say makes sense. Luckily I have lots of IRL friends helping me thru this. I also have a support group that I attend every other week or so. I guess when Mandy (the girl on the other board) went to Heaven, it hit me so hard. Wow. I didn't even know her really!
Anyway, I am on Facebook too....if anyone wants to be my friend. PM me and I'll give you me "real" name and we can connect that way too.
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had 2nd tx on thurs, stll achy. onc gave me emend for nausea because what i took first time didn't work. ins didn't cover $225 for 2 pills.
hope everyone has a good weekend.
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Hi January Jewels. Catching up on everyone and glad to hear we are all hanging in there pretty well. Had 3rd AC tx on Thurs. Feb 5th and haven't felt much in the way of SEs yet. Just a small headache. After tx 2 it seemed to take longer to hit me so I am not celebrating yet, but if it is possible instead of a cummulative effect my body seems to be getting use to the tx. WBC count is low but has not gotten anywhere near the .4 I went to afer first treatment. One more AC to go and then who knows what the Taxotere will bring.
I had lots of runny noses in my classroom this past week so I am hoping I haven't been exposed to something that is lurking and waiting for my WBC to drop. It is worth the risk to me though I do not think I could do this if I had to quit work. It keeps me sane.
I am getting progressively more anemic as the weeks past. Dr. said not too worried yet but I do need to start adding protein so this latest conversation is just what I needed.
Will check back in a few days.. Patti
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Well, the headshaving and wig fitting are done. My sister, cousin, and a friend went with me and we made a party of it - even packed an ice chest full of beer. I allowed myself one. They took a picture when my hair started looking like a mohawk. I got two wigs - one cut short like my current style that I had done on a stupid whim at a hair show and one long that looks more like I usually do. They were supposed to be dyed to my color, but they are both way too light, I'm really disappointed. My sis is a hairdresser and is going to put more lowlights in tomorrow. I put a scarf on as soon as I got home and then I cried on DH shoulder for a really long time. He said all the right things, but it really didn't help much. I really thought I was doing OK with it, but OMG it just hit really hard. I don't know that I'll wear the wigs much, scarves seem to feel much better.
I did go see my mom in the hospital when I finished and she thought I looked great. But, of course she's my mom, what else is she going to say. She will probably come home Mon.
I friend told me to pull up on my bootstraps really hard and keep pulling - for some reason that seems to help me when I get really down. My next tx is coming up on Thurs. so I do have some good days to look forward to until then.
BevR - great news about your son being home! He's awesome for his service to our country!
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Lisa, I am generally really positive about this whole thing, or trying to be anyway.....but sometimes I read some things and start crying and then getting scared and my husband says "stop reading those boards". But, I think it really helps to talk to people going through the same thing as us, and I know it really helps me to hear from all of you and what your day to day is like living through this. But sometimes I read about people who are not doing so well and it scares me and I shouldn't compare myself to those people because we are all different, regardless of stage and grade and everything else, everyone's outcome is based on them individually, and just because someone has the same stage or grade as us, it doesn't mean our outcome will mimic theirs. I get really sad (and scared) when I think about others who are not winning their battle and some of the stuff I've read, I will never forget. It's hard....I went to chemo and the elderly lady getting chemo next to me was talking and said how she is all alone and has too much time to think, because her husband left her for his ex wife and now she is alone, no family (she is from England and they are all back there), just sitting in her house thinking about her cancer. I went home and bawled. There is so many heart wrenching stories out there, it really tugs at the heartstrings.
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Lisa - I am sorry you have been going through a rough emotional place. It is hard but I do think we need to remain aware of the negative possiblities while hoping for the positive. I highly recommend reading the book I mentioned in an early post "Speak the Lanugage of Healing, Living with Breast Cancer without going to war." It is written by 4 woman all dealing with breast cancer including one woman who is terminal but in remission due to experimental drugs which may stop working at anytime. These are very honest and spiritual woman who address what they call the 5 stages of transformation. Each one wrote her own piece for each chapter without discussing it with the others. They only read what the others wrote after they were all done.
Another good read is Kitchen Table Wisdom, Stories that heal by rachel Naomi Remen, MD. She has worked as a psychologist with people facing life threatening illnesses and the book is just a collection of short stories, many real life stories, some fables and such, that I find really help.
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It's Day 17 after my first chemo session and my hair is starting to shed. My wig is ready, I have tons of bandannas but no matter how much I've prepared, I don't think I'm ready to go bald yet..
I've always had falling hair, but today, it is falling non-stop. I have to frequently pick up stray hair on my shirt, on the table.. everywhere! And I get so sad when i get clumps of hair out because my hair is so thin on a normal day.
Just wanted to rant... I didn't expect this hair issue to be so confusing for me...
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Hey everyone,
i hope someone is on, that can help me, I have a bad cold and now have a temp of 100.6 it says I am surpossed to call the doctor.........I do not want to go to the hospital, I just ate a large steak and a candy bar so eating is not a problem??? All the stuff says don't take tylenol until you call the doctor??? Can anyone help me?? Pamela
I have called the cancer socity twice, my first taxol is thursday and I don't want to put it off!!!
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