Not doing too well these days.

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited January 2009

    I am so very sorry Bren...know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.  Cancer suxs big time! 

    Hugs

    V

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2009

    Just listening and my heart goes out to you.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    AW Bren, I'm so sorry. It must be so hard being so far away from him. My heart goes out to you too. It's never easy to say goodbye. (((HUGS)))

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  • bearlysane111
    bearlysane111 Member Posts: 735
    edited January 2009

    Hi Bren,

    Just saw this thread as I don't come to bco as much anymore. Thinking of you and so very sorry for so much pain for your dad,you and your family. What awesome pictures that you have shared and I know he was so grateful for the time that you shared on your recent trip.

    One of those can't sleep nights...I used to come here when I could not sleep after my diagnosis. Glad I saw your thread and wanted to tell you I was thinking of you and take care of yourself.

     Iris

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited February 2009
    My dad died early this morning. His wife was sleeping with him and stayed with him the rest of the night.

    I prayed that God would take him before my sis and cousin left. And He did.

    I want my dad back.

    I don't give a shit about a "peaceful death" or "better place."

    Cancer does not give us a peaceful death.
    We are burned, cut up and poisoned until there's nothing left of what we were.
    And then we are free because we are dead.

    Need to go now.

    I love you all,
    me
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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited February 2009

    I am so, so sorry. There are no words to ease the pain right now. I offer gentle hugs and pray that many wonderful memories will help you get through this difficult time.

    Elaine

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  • Monique
    Monique Member Posts: 121
    edited February 2009

    I am so sorry for your loss - I lost my father almost two years ago this March - it is never easy in any circumstance.

    My prayers are with you and your family.

    Monique

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  • mzmiller99
    mzmiller99 Member Posts: 894
    edited February 2009

    Bren - Our thoughts are with you.  I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  There are a bunch of dads up there discussing sports, etc.  And kicking back with no pain, until they come back down here in spirit.

    Keep his memory wrapped around you tight.

    Susan

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    ((((Bren))))

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited February 2009

    So sorry my dear friend.  You know I am here for you.

    Valerie

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited February 2009

       Thank you all so much for your wonderful thoughts.

       I will treasure them today.  Going to go outside and garden for awhile.

    Love,

    Bren

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2009

    Bren, I hate to hear that your dad passed away. I know that nothing I say will help heal the hurt that you are feeling right now but know that I am praying for you and your family at this time of your loss.

    Sheila

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  • GracieM2007
    GracieM2007 Member Posts: 1,564
    edited February 2009

    Bren, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my dad 26 years ago to lung cancer.  It's very hard.  I will keep you in my prayers.  If you need to talk, please let me know.

    Gracie 

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  • jerseymaria
    jerseymaria Member Posts: 770
    edited February 2009

    dear bren, i too am so sorry for your loss.  i hope you'll be comforted some by knowing that you're surrounded by many many prayers.   maria

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited February 2009

    (((((Bren)))))

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited February 2009

    Brenda, I just wanted to post my condolences. This has been a sad week and the loss of your Dad is hard to hear. I hope you remember him the way you have shown him to us...happy.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Bren...I have no words that will comfort you and I understand how very painful it is. I felt (and still feel) exactly as you do when my Mom finally died after being stripped of all of her dignity by Alzheimer's. It hurts so much when you feel so powerless and it really hurts when you just want them back. I'm so sorry, sweetie.

    ~Marin

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  • althea
    althea Member Posts: 1,595
    edited February 2009

    Bren, so sorry about your dad.  Gardening will be of great help during this time. 

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  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 6,546
    edited February 2009

    Bren-----so sorry, he was a handsome guy and must have been one helluva guy to be so beloved.

    Lucky you to have had him for as long as you did - my dad died of stomach cancer when I was 25, it's hard to lose your dad at any age.

    Treasure your precious memories - he'll always be here in your heart!

    ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

    Trina

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Bren, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet dad. I lost mine to cancer in 1997 and I still miss him so much. I pray that your pain will soon be soothed by happy memories of many good times spent together.

    Hugs from a Virginia sister,

    Miss S

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited February 2009

    Dear Friends,

        Thank you all for your outpouring of love and kindness, and for all the PMs of encouragement, support and love.  I will answer everyone soon.

    Love,

    Bren

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  • sgh417
    sgh417 Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2009

    don't know you--new to this format---but wishing gentle days ahead for you---

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  • MargaretB
    MargaretB Member Posts: 1,305
    edited February 2009

    Bren, just checking in to see how you're doing.

    Margo

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited February 2009

    Hi Margo,

         Thank you for asking about me.  It's so tough right now.  I can't believe he's gone.  It knocks my breath out of me.

         My dad was always the "life of the party" and the one everyone wanted to be around.  He was amazing.  When he was very young, he worked on the railroads, then later got into mortgage banking.  I guess I was about 12 when he quit that business and bought 1,000 acres in Jamul.  He started farming, raising a few cows and growing avocados.  He made a fortune in land deals and then spent many years golfing and playing gin with his buddies.  Friends would ask me, "What does your dad do?"  I never knew what to say ... so, I'd say he golfs, hits the 19th hole, and plays gin with the Bandits.

         I'm going to pick my mom up at the airport today so she can spend some time with my sis and I.  They were divorced about 12 years ago and he remarried ... but my mom and dad were together since she was 14 years old. 

    Again, thank you everyone for writing me.  It really is a comfort right now.

    Love,

    Bren

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  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 2,298
    edited February 2009

    Bren,

    I just now found this post. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad girl. That is a really nice picture of him. I'm so sorry. I feel your pain.

    (((hugs)))

    Traci

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  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited February 2009

    I am sorry that your dad passed.  You have had a special relationship and that still lives on.  Keep him in your heart and in your memories - they never pass.

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  • pdlc436
    pdlc436 Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2009

    Dear Bren,

    I am fairly new on the site but I was saddened to hear your story.  I like that you have posted photos of happy memories with your father, that's what counts in the end. My thoughts are with you.

    PdlC 

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  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited February 2009

    Hugs Bren----I wish I knew the words to say that might help. I lost my dad 8 years ago.....I remember how I felt.

    You & your family are in my prayers. 

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