Help Could Use Some Encouragement

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flb1011
flb1011 Member Posts: 18
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment

I feel like I am just falling apart, terribly depressed and scared, and didn't know where else to go for support.

 I've already posted some already after I was diagnosed and about some problems I have had, but this is the story in a nutshell.

 2002 I was diagnosed with IDC, 6 cm.  Had lumpectomy, chemo and radiation.  Cancer free until Dec 08.

 Found a lump in the same breast again, 2 cm this time.  Scans showed no mets,  I had a stomach ct, chest xray, and bone scan.  Everything was clear, and felt to lucky it was just local recurrance.

Dec. 15 I had a bilateral mastectomy with expanders.  Nothing seemed right after the surgery.  Felt awful, had drainage in a small space that appeared under one breast.  Finally January 9th I had emergency surgery for a major staph infectiion.  They removed my expander which I can get back later, but of course not even worried about that now.

Since then I have felt terrible.  Still no energy, crying all the time.  I've tried to work but just don't have the energy.  I just basically exist.

Blood tests showed that I am very anemic, and they assure me I'll feel better soon, but it doesn't ever get better.

Now the latest issue.  My first after surgery appointment was december 22nd.  My husband mentioned to the dr. that I had had a few headaches and he ordered a brain scan which I hadn't had.  I was furious with my husband since I had only had one headache and the last thing i needed was another test and another thing to worry about.  I cancelled the test.

Now I have had a serious headache several times a day for the last week or so.  It is in my right temple and does go away with Tylenol, but usually comes back in a few hours.

Today I woke up with a huge headache, and realized I had yesterday as well.  So I looked on the internet and of course one of the big symptoms of brain mets is a headache that is worse in the morning.  So now I will reschedule the test which I''m sure I'll have to wait a week for, the then lose my mind waiting for results.

So I guess I'm just looking for some positive thoughts.  I can't really talk to my husband or kids because it only worries them, and my friends just don't understand.

And anything anyone might know about brain mets would be helpful.

Thanks,

 Fran

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  • MicheleS
    MicheleS Member Posts: 937
    edited January 2009

    Hi Fran,

    I recently had a brain MRI to look for mets because of recurrent headaches and once I had the neg results in hand, the headaches stopped.  So, I'm betting that stress was the issue. While I can't say if *your* headaches are stress-induced... they could be and a scan is the way to go to know for sure.

    I can relate to the crying all the time too.  This whole BC gig sucks.  There's no 2 ways about it.  I'm learning to *try* to lean on others for support.  I've also found that keeping busy helps a lot too.

    {{hugs}}

    Michele

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  • mccarroll
    mccarroll Member Posts: 360
    edited January 2009

    I agree that the headaches are stress induced.  Gee, where would the stress come from????

    A few years ago, (pre cancer) I kept waking up with killer headaches.  I changed pillows, etc.  No help.  I began to fret about brain tumors, etc.  I talked to a friend who is a chiropractor and he started adjustments.  Within days, the headaches stopped.  I was very out of adjustment (hadn't been to the chiro in years).  Now, I can tell when it's time to go in again (yep, the headaches start up).  I also notice an increase when I'm under lots of stress.  I had thyroplasty 3 months ago and haven't been able to go back yet.  I miss those neck pops! 

    This is just something to consider.  Sometimes, it really isn't cancer.  It's a headache! Good luck, have the scan and we'll all pray for good reports for you.  Karen

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  • spar2
    spar2 Member Posts: 6,827
    edited January 2009

    Please don't imagine the worse, try to stay calm.  Get the scan done and hopefully it will be nothing.  I was having a lot of headaches and had the mri of the brain and after I had it my headaches stopped too so it probably is just stress.  Please keep us informed on how you are.  we will be here for support. gentle hugs.

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  • debisongbird
    debisongbird Member Posts: 275
    edited January 2009

    Hi Fran, I just want you to know I'm sending positive thoughts your way. I think I read on these boards a motto of Winston Churchill, "When you're going through hell, keep going." Something like that. I don't know if that helps, but I hope so. You have my support. Keep posting. God Bless, debz

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited January 2009

    hello sweetie, I agree I will send positive thoughts and prayer to and for U, I also felt those same feeling you are feeling and the stress anxiety, but trust me somone whose been through it ALL. I had a radical total mastectomy on the left,chemo radiation reconstruction with expander that my body rejected and all while planning my wedding, diagnosed in the middle of plans, but Praise God, He brought me through, so I,m want to tell U to hold on, have your cry, it,s alright, then FIGHT, I,m now married and cancer free for 15 yrs, Thank God and I will pray for us ALL.  God Bless. msphil   

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  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 886
    edited January 2009

    oh Fran, I'm so sorry you are going through so much! Stress headaches would certaintly be warrented under the circumstances. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal and something most of us can relate to and appreciate. I too will be sending positive vibes your way for a clean scan and some order in this chaos for you.

    Lean on us as much as you need to...no one here is alone!

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