Just diagnosed, how long until ny life has some normalcy again?

All the Donna with your surgery tomorrow, healing thoughts being sent your way....

DonnaDio - So glad to hear you're home and made it through!!  Sounds as though you are in good paws!!  Can't beat fur babies for being there for you when you most need them.  A big pat on the back for your wonderful hubby!

Hope to hear from you soon.

Hey There!

Well as I am reading through your replies, I am so glad you asked the question. You and I are in the same time frame Dx'd last tuesday. So maybe we can stay in touch throughout our ordeal.

Your Sister in Pink,

Denise

I don't know if my life was ever really normal!  I had a lumpectomy and was back at work two weeks later waiting for Oncotype test results.  Then chemo was ruled out and radiation began ending in early June.  For me, I felt over the 'treatment' hump and had a very positive outlook.  Then I developed allergic reactions to aromatase inhibitors which put me in a slump.  Then a TIA in October - but no - another neuro opinion and it is probably Charcot-Marie-Tooth, a genetic peripheral neuropathy disorder. No cure but another chronic medical problem..

Things have been back to normal at work since radiation ended except for a few days off dealing with these recent setbacks.  At home, my energy level picked up over time and the house, cooking etc are in better shape.

Emotionally though this has been a tough year.  More good days than bad but a nagging level of anxiety and more depression as I muddle through.  I am hoping that by early summer ( a year after treatment ended) I will find my new normal and a greater sense of comfort.  It will certainly help when this lousy winter ends!  Take care....         

samian ~  I wanted to add something to what I posted earlier.  Lest I sound like a Pollyanna, a lot of what I'm telling you now is not the way I felt when I was first dx'd, or when I was told I needed a mast (4 days after I'd had a lump), or when I learned the bc had gone to a lymph node (after I'd been told it was clear) and that I would need chemo.   Back then, I went through what every woman goes through -- shock, disbelief, fear, sadness, anger.  But I've been fortunate to have some very strong women supporting me in this journey, including several rels & friends who are bc survivors, as well as a wonderful DH and son.  It is because of them and the amazing women here that I have been able to get through this experience.  But it wasn't until recently that I've been able to look back and realize the incredible strength all of us doing this have.  If someone had told me any of this 10 months ago, or even 6 months ago, a part of me would have thought they were crazy. 

I also wanted to say that after going through this experience, all of life's "normal" stuff -- worrying about summer camp and vacations and home decorating projects (which I'm starting to do again), all seem so much sweeter.  And I'm also finding that I'm much more mellow about life's little frustrations, which you suddenly realize aren't that important. 

REKoz ~ It was your comment that got me thinking about all of this.  Thank you for making me realize even more how blessed I have been to have a strong support system.  I feel like I am just playing it forward, so to speak, as some of my bc-survivor friends did for me, and as I know you will, too.

One of the ladies at work was coughing away and I went to her, concerned about if she was ill. She snapped at me: "Oh Barbara, you've raised the bar for all of us and we can't be off sick without feeling guilty! I wanted to stay home and then thought of you coming back to work 3 weeks after your (double mastectomy) surgery and just knew I had to come in!"

I was kind of stunned. I had just wanted everything to get back to normal as quickly as possible. Now I know nothing will be normal again.

Change is inevitable, growth is optional. 

Working from home today. Although I haven't gotten much done in between bathroom visits and just general over BLECH. I did take someone's suggestion to get the sea bands with the pressure points your wear on your wrists for nausea and I do have to say they have REALLY helped me. It's much more tolerable although it's the other end giving me a few issues today. Sorry to be forthright but as we all know now, anything goes as far as what chemo does to the body! Sorta like after you've had a baby and visits to the gyno have completely lost any emotional discomfort. All modesty goes out the door so to speak!

Barbe- That was a very curious response by your co-worker. Because I can't hear you say it, I don't know if she was complementing or dissing you? Since you said she snapped, I thought maybe you didn't feel good about what she said? Or was it more like you set the example for a being such a strong person?

Deanna- I am happy to have helped you gain insight as you are here to do for others. I think that is one of my main gifts to take from these boards. Surely, there is no better place to vent and vent I will if I must. But mostly for me, it's easier to get through when inspired by others or reading a perspective I had not previously thought of. Like one of those "aha" moments. Of course experiences come with growing older and I am constantly amazed at age 53 how suddenly some things that have always been take on a new and incredibly important meaning. If not for that, I don't know how else I'd cope! Though middle aged in body, I still am that same young, impish, fun loving person I always was. So new perspective is a wonderful way to make this getting older  journey a lot less scary!

And finally YOU oh Donna of drainage! I had 4 of them and someone told me that getting them off would hurt. It didn't though and any discomfort was over in a flash. And getting rid of those plastic hangers was great! Almost as great as being able to take a full body shower without needing help for the first time. Now THAT was most awesome and certainly one of those things that I couldn't help realize how much I had taken for granted! Rest up and feel well. I'll be checkin in more often when I'm working from home!

Thanks to all for being here!

Ellen

Donna-  Did you have a sentinal node biopsy? If so, you just MAY have to re-evaluate your previous excersise life of pushing yourself under these circumstances. It should be a real slow process with the arm excersises as the swelling had indicated to you. Seriously, take it slow because you can have further issues down the road with lymphodema which are not good. Gotta be careful of those mast. stitches as well.  I'm no expert by any means but I had that infection and the PS was so insistent and doing the excercises but taking it SLOW in the beginning. I need help to blow dry my hair because that stretch just hurt too much at first.

Hula- Thanks for sharing your journey in such an intimate way. I am sure that there are several areas of my head that still need wrapping from all of this. And pretty soon, I will be meaning that in the literal sense as well! I am on a 3 week on, one off for 4 cycles Abraxene\carbo\herceptin.This Fri. will be the last of cycle #1 and I am soooo looking forward to a week off and hopefully a few more days in a row of feeling good. I expect that I will be seeing hair in my hands after the next one and have cut it short to prepare,

Barbe- I thought that "sounded" like a sacastic type of comment from your co-worker. It sounds almost like a jealous of your attention comment. Amazing that there are individuals out there so wounded in a way that would cause that reaction. Doesn't sound like it would develop into anything but if it ever did for me, I'd note that I would GLADLY trade places!

Well I must attend to work, I got very little done yesterday because I felt so vvery blech!  As great as it is to work from home right now, I find it harder to dig in and do it! Maybe if I stayed off these boards!!  Throwing out positive energy for us all to get through another day with a body that wants to cooperate!

Ellen

Hello!  I ask my self the same question.  I am in my 3rd month of chemo and still have 3 months to go.  Then I have to have my implant surgery.  I had the reconstruction process started on September 24th (expansions in now) along with a bi-lateral mastectomy and 26 lymph nodes removed, with only 2 being removed.  I am not sure how old your children are, but I have two boys, ages 6 and 9.  They do not know that I have "cancer".  I am going to wait until they are a little older to tell them.  THey jsut know that mommy is not well right now, but working on feeling better.  The hair thing was the hardest for me to explain to them because I now have none.  I told my children that I was going to be taking medicine that was going to make my hair look pretty bad, so I was going to jsut shave it off and let it grow back.  They ask me all the time when my hair will grow back, when I can do this, etc.  ANd it is hard, but, you kind of have to learn to manage.  I do not know if you work or not, but I work, and I am a very hard worker and it has killed me that I have been out of work since 9-23-08.  I want to go back, but feel tired, or can't risk getting sick becuase unfortuenatly for me, my treatment plan hasn't gone as "scheduled".  I am a petite person, and weighed 90 pounds going into this, and when I had my first treatment, on October 31st, 2008, I went 4 1/2 weeks before my next treatment.  It had wiped my white blood counts out.  Even after a neulasta shot.  So, I do not know when normalcy will come into play again, but it does get better each day.  I just keep saying this is a bump in the road, and I will get over it and deal with it.  I have had excellent doctors, and I think that has made a difference, to me.  I tell my kids that next Christmas it will be different,k I will be more like myself.  I get scared, even still, from time to time, but, I can't change it.  Good luck to you and your family.  Please keep me posted!! 

Thanks for the sympathy about the lady at work guys. I see her today for the first time since she snapped at me. I'm curious to see where she "goes" with it all. I don't want to exacerbate it so I won't say anything (not even, "are you feeling better today?")

Susan, I, too, am surprised with how often someone asks me how my husband is doing through all this. I'm so tempted to say, well, he isn't the one who had cancer, who went through surgery, who slept with drains, who looks down at an altered body or who returned to work so quickly because she HAD to!  Instead, I just smile and say that he says he'd rather kiss me than my boob.

Ladies... I think the question about how our husbands are doing is very perceptive and totally appropriate!  True, they're not the ones actually having the surgery or the chemo or the rads, but they have to watch someone they love dearly and want to protect go through it and experience pain and be emotionally miserable at times and feel totally helpless (not a good thing for a man) to prevent any of it or fix it.  Not to mention the fear of losing us!   Plus, in addition to their normal stresses at work and probably a lot more to do at home to pick up the slack of what we normally do (housework, childcare, cooking), they may have additional financial concerns with all the extra expenses and possibly decreased or no income from us.  Just speaking in general, I am so grateful when someone asks me or my DH in front of me how he's doing with all of this, as it sometimes gives him a chance to share some feelings, which he doesn't get to do and enjoy the support of here.  And how many of our DH's friends have been through this so really understand what he's going through?  Probably few to none.   Just a perspective I wanted to quickly share this a.m. as I dash off to rads.......   More later........   

REK..Thanks!!!! How long was your chemo treatment and overall was bearable? Did you have  a wig as hair loss will be part of my treatment for certain. I am in the educating phase. Hope all is getting better daily!!!

Smedley..praying for you!!I KNOW this is not easy and yet your strength is shining thru!! I AM NOT looking forward to chemo and appreciate your post to get more edcuated. Please know you are not alone and anything writing here hopefully helps you!!! It does for me.Sister in Pink and sending hugs!!!!