Are breast prostheses necessary and for who?
I got to ask everyone about wearing the protheses. I had all the bras, puffs and prostheses but in the 15 months I didn't have any breasts I only wore the protheses 3 times. My bilateral mastectomy was in July 2006 and I didn't have reconstruction until Sept 2007. Being very physically active I found them to be a pain.
Also I see all of these nightgowns with built in pouchs for the forms. Does anybody really use those?
The reason I ask this is because I wonder if some of the companies selling these items maybe make us feel that we need them to maintain our womanhood- femininity. Which is not true.
It seems to me in this day and age when breast cancer is not a hush hush illness that covering up that we have had surgery should be a thing of the past.
I would love to know other women's opinion regard this. Maybe it is just me that feels this way.
Comments
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The protheses aren't necessary for me, but I don't wear make up or dye my gray hair. I think there are some women that want them so I am glad that these items are manufactured for them. It is just not my thing.
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My mom had a single mast in 2001, she got the prost but it doesn't match her other boob well. She would rather go without than mess with the prost. She is retired and never wore makeup even when she was working and stopped dying her gray hair in the late 70's.
I had bilat mast with recon in 2007, I wasn't given the puff boobies at the time of my surgery and really didn't mind going flat while I was going through my recon.
Sheila
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I am very comfortable being flat and in fact lost 10 pounds so my one boob would not stick out. I'm very comfortable.
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I opted not to have reconstruction and have not been wearing prostheses. I think that they are not necessary, but there are times when I would like to wear them. Therefore, I have ordered some and I am looking forward to being able to change my appearance depending on the occasion.
I think the fact that many woman choose to have reconstruction speaks to this issue. I don't think women would have recontruction if they did not have a strong desire to have a 'normal' appearance. Prostheses are just one way to achieve a desired appearance.
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I am very happy being flat. I look slimmer and my clothes hang better! I used to be a 42D and my boobs entered a room before I did! I have no desire for more surgery.
I am a girly, girl. Make-up, nails, hair and pretty clothes. I'm just not a shoe person LOL! But I LOVE purses. I still feel very feminine and pretty. My personality does that. Not my boobs. Why should I wear fake boobs to make everyone around me feel better. Most ladies seem to not wear them when at home anyway. Is it like a shield when they go out?
I walk tall and proud.
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I think its a personal choice. Since I only had a single mastectomy, I choose to wear an amoena prosthesis. I love it. I had a saline implant that became very heavy and painful so it was removed in November. The prosthesis is one of the lightweight ones and looks very natural and matches my other side. I think it makes a big difference going to a professional fitter. I prefer to wear one to work because I want to fit in with the rest of my colleagues. I don't want to be seen as 'the breast cancer' employee. In fact, only a very few know that I am a breast cancer surivor and that's the way I like it. I can be evaluated solely on the merits of how I perform my job and nothing else.
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Good question and good replies! I've read about many women (and seen a few) who never wear pros and are very happy and comfortable. And others who do the opposite and feel good that way. and they wear them for themselves. I don't dye my hair or wear makeup yet I do feel self-conscious w/o a "filled out" bra when out in public or at work. But don't wear it at home. I think as I get older, I may care less in public too. My grandmother said when she was 90 years old (she lived to 97! had breast cancer at 69) she didn't care anymore what folks thought, so didn't wear pros/bra any longer and that it was liberating. I think it is very personal. I do think society in general makes us feel we must look a certain way (thin, boobs, makeup, no gray hair, "young") which really should be questioned. We should do what feels good to us, for us - no one else. Hooray for us all - two boobs, one boob, recon, pros or none!
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I know for a fact that if I had a unilateral I would certainly wear a foobie. To be that obviously off-balance at my (previous) size would just look dumb. I would be uncomfortable as people noticed.
One swinging in the breeze and the other flat as a pancake (actually, flatter)? Doesn't work for me.
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Katherine,
I think you answered your own question, in a way. After all, although you were flat for 15 months, you eventually chose reconstruction. So, apparently, you didn't really want to appear flat-chested to the world (or to yourself).
I think of reconstructed breasts as internal prostheses--after all, even the flap reconstructions aren't real breasts. And to me, prostheses (breast forms) are a way to achieve a feminine look without further surgery after mastectomy. This doesn't mean that I feel any less a woman even though I lost my breasts to breast cancer (twice). But I feel that I look best in clothes with the shape of breasts. I think the companies selling post-mastectomy items like pocketed bras, swimsuits, camisoles, and nightgowns accurately reflect the desire of many women to look and feel feminine, which for many of us includes looking as if we still have our breasts.
Other women look good and feel feminine going flat. I admire them but I feel better wearing breast forms. So, I agree with you that it's good that we don't need to hide the fact that we've had mastectomies. But you, in choosing reconstruction, and I, in choosing to wear breast forms, have decided that we feel more comfortable looking as we did pre-surgery.
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I guess I'm wearing my flat chest as a shield... kind of daring anyone to say anything.
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Hi, ladies. I visit from time to time here but haven't posted in a while.
I'm one of the lopsided ladies, with what amounts to a boob and a half. I have a prosthesis (Amoena) for the half side. But I also have a lot of nice, lightly padded bras from before this whole adventure that I can wear under a lot of things that are not too fitted & they smooth over the difference in, mainly, nipple height. If I'm wearing something more fitted, I wear the prosthesis. If I'm going really casual & don't even need to wear a bra, I get a kick out of how the occasional person will try not to let themselves get caught trying to figure out why one nipple is about 3" higher than the other! Well, I admit, I'm easily amused. We have to have some laughs over this whole adventure. LOL.
Actually, when my close friends were getting used to the full details of my adventure, it was helpful for them when I didn't wear a bra because they were able to realize that my so-called lumpectomy for my so-called early cancer actually involved the removal of half of my right breast. Those devious little DCIS granules can wander all over the place...
I did talk to a PS about getting recon perhaps next year. We'll see. I'm not exactly wild about having more surgery. The one big reason why I would consider it is to have her "edit" some unrelenting scar tissue under my nipple which I have not been able to massage out of existence.
Erica, this is such a helpful thread. Thanks for all your work here & for breastfree.org.
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The decisions I am currently making re recon or not etc are actually ones I have been 'hatching' since I grew boobs at 11 years old. Big ones. VERY big ones! Having a mastectomy kind of kicked me into the world of 'ok, let's get serious about this. My boobs have always been an issue: years, decades actually of sexual harassment (long before it was called that) because of their size. I never went swimming..in fact I haven't even put a swimsuit on for 28 years! So reduction was always on my mind. Weirdly, I almost enjoy the totally flat side; it does, however, create just way too much contrast to the left. I was sure I would go for an implant and a reduction, but I just cannot get my head around a man-made object being inserted under my skin. I am not squeamish about ANYTHING...but a lump of silicone under my right pec.......hmmmmm...I'm listening to my body on this one. So I am going for a reduction on the left and then I am going to happily live out my life with a much smaller foam form on the right. I don't feel under any pressure to 'have boobs'. It's ME who is so used to living with them..not sure how I'd go with none
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Kerry, I too, had 38D's (or higher!) since I was 13. Total harrassment in school and jobs! Someone wrote "slut" on my locker at school and I had the guts to ask a group of guys why and they seemed surprised to have to tell me it was because I had big tits!
I got a reduction about 5 years ago when I was 46 (my daughter had hers first!) which brought me down to a 42D. They were wonderfully perky and cute but still large and I never felt they were really "mine".
It's a nice feeling to know I am still feminine without them.
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Barbe,
I just edited my comment above to emphasize that some women don't need breasts (or breast forms) to feel feminine. I think it's great that you're able to feel feminine without wearing breast forms. I'm a person who likes to be as natural as possible--very little makeup, no hair coloring, etc.--so even though I've found comfortable breast forms, I sometimes feel I would be most true to myself if I wore nothing. But I think I look better with some breast shape, so I've continued to use my forms. Also, sometimes at home with nothing on, I feel a bit vulnerable. I'm thin, so my chest is rather bony and It's kind of comforting to have soft forms against my chest.
Barbara
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This is a terrific thread.
I had a mast/SNB with no recon nearly a year ago. I considered recon for ... maybe 3 seconds. I always figured I would be OK with just a prosthesis. My grandma was very thin, and she got through the last 20 years of her life with nothing but a white, embroidered handkerchief in the "empty" side of her bra. We are minimalists in my family.
Still, I do feel more comfortable with two mounds under my shirts and blouses, even if they're only 34A/B or so. [Edited to add: That's only when I'm in public. At home, I go lopsided, because it feels better.] The only person who has put any pressure on me to buy a prosthesis was the woman trying to sell me one.
Barbara (Erica), thank you so much for your objective and comforting comments. As usual, your words and your website make me feel even better about my decision(s).
otter
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Otter,
You bring up an interesting point about being pressured into buying the prosthesis. This is what I was asking when I started this thread. Yes, I did have reconstruction 15 months after my Bi M. Mostly, vainly because I wanted to get rid of my very large thighs. I had a TUG (thigh upper grascilas) and I didn't want the implants. I ended up with much smaller and natural looking breasts. I was a 34 D plus and now a 34 B plus.
There are more options than most women seem to know about. I read recently that a lot of women aren't made aware of the DIEP, TRAM TUG because their doctor doesn't perform the surgery. So the only option they are told about is implants.
Every woman's choice is her own. If she wants to have recon or not, if she wants to wear prosthesis or not. The right choice is whatever is the most comfortable for the woman.
Shops that sell breast cancer items seem to push the prosthesis because they are a 100% reimbursable from insurance and because of this don't offer other options of clothing made for breast cancer women. There is more clothing on the market for supporters of BC (think pink) than there is for the women that are actually dealing with the issue.
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Katherine,
You make a good point about fitters too often pushing prostheses because they're reimbursable. I've had that experience myself. What has helped me is to go to a fitter at a hospital cancer center boutique (in my case, Dana Farber's Friends Boutique). The fitter there is a kind woman who listens to her clients and tries to help them find what works, not what makes the most profit.
From reading these boards, I know there are many wonderful fitters out there, in both for-profit and non-profit settings, but the hard sell is definitely something to be on guard against.
Barbara
p.s. Katherine, I do not think it's vain to want reconstruction. Mastectomies are traumatic for almost all of us and I'm glad you found a way to feel good about yourself afterwards.
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Otter, if I had the guts you have, I'd get rid of my upper thighs to gain breasts back, but I don't think my body could stand the surgery.
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I had bilateral mastectomies over a year ago and felt I was not ready at age 50 to have no breasts. I don't think that's vain nor do I think I was influenced by some misguided idea of what is feminine. I am an active woman who likes looking as good as I can - for myself, not for anyone else. I was presented with all of the options for reconstruction, but because I was rather slender, implants were recommended for me rather than flap surgery. I since had to have an implant removed and I have chosen not to risk further surgery. As someone mentioned, my choice to replace that implant with a prosthesis is in some ways a practical one. I'd certainly attract attention if I walked around in public with only one breast.
But I also feel that my clothes look better with breasts. Also, someone mentioned that she feels "vulnerable" with no prosthesis. I do too. I know not everyone feels this way, but having a flat, "skinny" chest makes me feel like I am still "sick". Perhaps one day I will feel differently about this, but meanwhile my forms are comfortable, I am able to continue my normal activities, I feel good about myself, and I'm glad that I have options. No one approach to breast cancer, survivorship, or life is the right one. We all have to do what is best for us. I applaud all you ladies for having the courage to make the choices that are right for you.Angela
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I am another no makeup gray haired lady who wears a prosthesis as little as possible. I suspect it my be a slow evolution of sorts and it helps that I am/was very small breasted to start with. I had a unilateral last December. At my one week post surgery appointment the dr told me I was healed up enough- here's a card for a masectomy shop. I dutifully went and got a form. I wore it somewhat frequently while going through radiation. I suspect I needed to feel more normal then. I never felt it was at all comfortable though. After reading alot here, I did try a litlle foam form that so many liked. It's better, but as time goes on I wear a form less and less. Now it is pretty much only when I need one to make my clothes sit correctly.Very few people have seem to notice- I don't know what will happen in the future. I skipped recon mostly because I just couldn't stand the thought of more surgery and because I wasn't sure any dr would listen to my desire to stay small ( are "A" implants even a possibility?). I get mailings from the mast boutique several times a year.For now I ignore them, maybe down the road I'll want something more.
Trish
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I've never been in a post-surgical shop, so don't know the ins and outs of the protheses business. For myself, I've just used the lightweight fiberfilled balls that came with my Softee camisole. They've been all I've needed in my regular bras.
I don't always wear them, though. It depends on the outfit. I've gone to work flat one day and shown up the next with my normal looking tatas. I was wearing a wig for nine months, and some people wouldn't recognize me without my make-up. It's all an illusion anyway so sometimes I like to play around.
Recon down the road.
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Nancy, you're right, it's all costume anyway. What are you thinking about having done, recon-wise?
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DIEP if I can keep my stomach from disappearing before I see a PS. Oh, the things I do for my looks!
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You're brave. I can't face the prospect of having a scar all the way across my abdomen. Gives me the willies. Wouldn't mind losing the belly, though.
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The operation doesn't faze me. I actually would look forward to the time being "pampered" in the hospital (hey, anytime I get all my meals served in bed, I'm being pampered!). But I'm going to have to keep my stomach pouchy until I get around to doing it, so that's going to be the hard work, lol. Think I'll have an extra slice of pizza. Now that's what I mean when I say, the things I do for my looks.
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Nancy, I have some extra belly fat that I'm not needing. Can I FedEx it to you?
otter
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Wouldn't that be awesome if we could give it away?!
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I was 61 when I had my bilateral w/no recon and since this was my second go around I didn't want more surgeries, based my decision on this not thinking ahead. It's so hard to make all of these decisions so quickly and just know how you will feel in the future.
I wasn't thinking well I'm over 60 now so boobs don't really matter. I like keeping my appearance up, wearing a little make-up, coloring my hair and have found now that I am very unhappy I didn't have recon.
I don't like wearing my foobs so go flat most of the time except for those times we all know we prefer to put them on but I tend to grab a sweater or jacket when running into town for an errand foobless and will hunch, bunch my sweater or hoodie up against my chest so no one will see, I am very concious of it so I know I made the wrong decision.
I don't know what the cut off time is for getting reconstruction after a bilateral and know my surgeon didn't leave alot of skin because of my saying NO recon so I may be out of luck.
Nancy do you feel like your poofies are up too high? I do when I wear them but it might be me. I like the idea of what you are doing until you have your recon if I could work it out. Maybe I could deal with this better.
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I had a uni-lateral mastectomy eight years ago and I have worn a prosthesis ever since when I get dressed ...it just feels right to me..but certainly not in my nightclothes...
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Galnok, have you consulted a plastic surgeon who specializes in reconstruction? When I was told my oncologists and surgeons that I did not want to have reconstruction, they all said that I could still have delayed reconstruction if I changed my mind. I think if you are unhappy and self-consious about your appearance you ought to investigate the possiblitites.
I was able to pick up my prostheses last week and wore then in public for the first time this weekend. I felt like a adolescent, worrying about how they looked, a bit unsure. It was sort of funny. My friends said they looked fine, natural, but my dh was a bit taken aback because he thought I would get prostheses that were the same size as my own breasts so I would look like I did pre mastectomy. I told him that there is no way I would want to do that (bra size was 42DDD).
Anyway, I like the way the forms look and they are comfortable, but I don't think I will wear them all the time. Instead, I have the feeling I will save then for 'dress-up.'
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