I Hate My Oncologist

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LauraCA
LauraCA Member Posts: 20
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Not sure if this is the correct place to post this.....but I need to vent!

 I went to see my oncologist for my yearly visit yesterday.  I finished chemo in June 2006.  I still have some left over chemo brain (short term memory loss, difficulty concentrating, can't get my thoughts in order to execute a plan of action, like cleaning my house effectively, etc.)  I asked him about it and he told me that the antidepressants I'm taking are probably the cause.  I take the lowest possible doses of Wellbutrin, Celexa, Trazadone and Ativan (the last two to get to sleep and stay asleep because sleep deprivation makes everything so much worse).   He says that they "suppress the immune system" and "cause confusion."  He also said, "these are things you take during treatment to get you through and you should be off them by now and start dealing with life issues."  

 This man does not know me.  He doesn't know the daily stress I live with.  I had clinical depression long before I had cancer. I was so upset I started to cry.  He just told some stupid anecdotes about his wife and how they argue about silly things like how much shampoo he uses.  What?!   I think I'm going to fire him!!! 

 I don't know what is supposed to go on in these yearly visits, but that was my experience..he didn't feel my lymph nodes or anything? I am still so upset about it I want to scream.....thanks for letting me vent here.

 

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  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 6,416
    edited January 2009

    Kick him to the curb sister! You deserve better!

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  • hooptiedoo
    hooptiedoo Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2009

    My oncologist was one of the most respected doctors in town, mostly because of his work with clinical trials. I was thrilled when I found out he'd accepted me as a patient, thinking I'd get the best of care.

     The guy may be a leader in some ways, but he was a dinosaur in others. When I asked about getting a flu shot while I was in treatment, he actually told me I couldn't have one because flu shots cause people to get the flu!

     Most oncologists insist that their patients get flu shots because the flu can be so devastating to someone in treatment. And the shots don't cause the flu! He also had no idea what was wrong with me when I got the shingles and -- well, the list goes on and on, I won't bore you..

     I was trying to figure out how to fire the guy when the situation was taken out of my hands. My insurance through work changed from an HMO that willingly paid for my treatment to a cheaper but not nearly as good plan and HE dropped ME!

    If you really don't like the guy (and I don't blame you) fire him and find someone else. I'm five years out of treatment and still taking Paxil. It's changed my life for the better, and I can't do without it. It's pretty obvious your doctor doesn't take your concerns seriously enough.

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  • cindy1cpa
    cindy1cpa Member Posts: 18
    edited January 2009

    I agree with Estepp!  You need someone that listens to you and your concerns not minimize them!  Not checking the lymph nodes....What is that about?

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  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
    edited January 2009

    Fire him.  Now.

     My original onc poo-pooed my complaints of anxiety after treatment.  I had attacks so bad I was literally on the floor in the fetal position.  I believe that like your onc he would have prescribed medication during treatment, but after I was on my own.  He was a poor communicator and dismissive of me when I raised troubling symptoms.  I switched and my new oncologist is caring and takes the time to talk to me and explain issues.  I kick myself that I didn't make the switch sooner.  And it wasn't difficult at all.  I just made an appointment and brought over a copy of my records.

     If you can, find a psychiatrist who can handle your meds.  A psychiatrist would understand theseriousness of what you describe and also wouldn't follow some arbitrary timeline.  But really, switch oncologists.  His job should be to help, and if he isn't (even if he means well) get someone who can. 

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  • car
    car Member Posts: 492
    edited January 2009

    Estepp said it the best. You need an onc who treats you as a wole person. I must admit, I have a great onc and the best thing I like about him is the fact that he's my advocate in the comprehensive cancer center in which he practices.

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  • LauraCA
    LauraCA Member Posts: 20
    edited January 2009

    Thankfully I do get my meds through a psychiatrist and have made an appointment to discuss all this with him.  !

    Thank you for your replies.  I am going to switch and find someone whobetter meets my needs .  He thinks he is so funny but he is not.  The patient before me was an 82 year old man.  He said to the man (dry humor) "We have a medical term for folks like you - you're a MESS!"  Can you believe this man!  I felt sorry for him.

     Thanks for the supportive replies....I am feeling better.   

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  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited January 2009

    Laura,

    You are a smart person in your own right, and know what your solution was before posting.  It is always good to ask for a different opinion to see if yours stands up to the "what ifs".  Fire your onco and get someone who can explain the answers to your questions without making you feel small or stupid.  I fired mine for withholding information.  GO FOR IT GIRL.

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited January 2009

    I happen to love, love, love my team of docs.  However, my breast surgeon is another story.  She is without a doubt and excellent surgeon but during my last visit (long story) I was reading my pathology report about something B9 in the other breast.  She was holding the paper and folded it in an angry way and said, "Are you here to read this report or are you here to listen to me?"  I responded with, "I am here to find out if I have cancer again and I am asking you a valid question about this report."  She backpedaled and made some reference to me being a little sensitive.  Guess what?  I told both of my other docs and they both said that you can find an excellent doctor who is also personable and they proceeded to recommend some.  I hope to never need a surgeon again but if I do I will certainly look elsewhere.

    Like someone else said, kick that doctor to the curb.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    LauraCA - OMG - What a jerk! I would definately kick him to the curb! I also finished chemo in 2006. I'm shocked that you only have yearly visits! Mine insists on every 4 months. He gives me a thorough exam, checks my chest area, feels around and under my arm pits - checking for nodes and he feels my clavicle and neck areas. I get blood drawn every other visit to check liver enzymes, thyroid, etc. Good luck finding another Dr...although it shouldn't be too difficult...there's many more good Drs out there than bad. Best wishes.

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited January 2009

    Laura ~ It sounds like he's the one with chemo brain; not checking you out thoroughly, and maybe even losing track of the main reason you were there. 

    At the very least, we all deserve docs we feel comfortable with and whom we trust will do the best for us.  Definitely find an onc who will take you seriously -- one who genuinely cares about your well-being.  For whatever reason, the one you have doesn't sound like a good match for you at this point, although there may be some validity to his point about the mix of drugs you're on.  But he should have asked you a lot more questions and figured out how he could help you now, as well as remembering to do the bc-related checks you went in for!   But it may all be for the best if you make it a point now to find a new doc you really like. 

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  • dmh2418
    dmh2418 Member Posts: 64
    edited January 2009

    I love all the doctors on my team except my onc too. I am thinking of changing because she doesn't listen to me either.  I feel that since I'm not doing chemo I'm not a "real' cancer patient to her so she doesn't treat me as well as I think she should.  She keeps telling me that Tamo doesn't have side effects and to quit reading everything on line or what the pharmacy gives me.  She spends about 5 minutes with me each visit, checks my breasts and lymph nodes and tells me to come back in 4 months.  I'm waiting to call her this week to see if I should continue with Tamo or not so this could be a "make or break" phone call.  Good luck and shop around until you find someone you're comfortable with. You wouldn't buy the first pair of shoes you see even if they didn't fit or feel good, would you?

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2009

    My concerns have always been "What if I get a recurrance?"  Do I want this doc caring for me?  If the ans. is "no", then it's definately time to move on.

     Another question: are you truly comfortable that this doc will even FIND a recurrance??  If not, it's time to move on.

    Just my 2 cents.

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