mother in law

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live_laugh_love
live_laugh_love Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer

My mother in law has been battling breast cancer for 2 years now. She has recently been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer that has matasosized into her lymph nods, lung, and pelvic bone. I have been very close with my mother in law, she has been more like a mom to me than my own. I'm trying to stay strong for my husband, daughter, and sisters in law, but I find myself taking the family meetings about her updated condition harder than them at times. To compile the issue, my youngest sister in law found out she is pregnant and due in June, she is only 17 and still living at home with her mom.

Her first doctor told us she would never go into remission, or be consider cured. That her cancer was inopperable and terminal. Now, she is seeing a doctor that believes there is a possiblity she could go into remission! I know I haven't really asked a question yet for you to give advice on, it is just so relieving to me to discuss this with others who can understand.

My question is, what can I do?

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  • badboob67
    badboob67 Member Posts: 2,780
    edited January 2009

    jeshelton,

    I'm going to re-post your message to the RECURRENCE AND METASTATIC DISEASE section of the boards. Since your mother-in-law now has metastatic bc, your message will be more likely to be seen by other triple negative people with mets.

    I was diagnosed with metastatic bc at my initial diagnosis almost 3 years ago. I was 38 years old; the mets were extensive throughout my bones.

    Both doctors you heard from were right. Metastatic breast cancer is considered a terminal disease and the goal is to keep the disease under control; treatments are considered "palliative" (a term I really don't like!) but they can still be very effective.  Some doctors don't use the term "remission", but they often use the term "No Evidence of Disease" (we call it NED). NED is a possibility for any of us undergoing treatment for metastatice cancer. Almost as good as NED is "STABLE"...that means the cancer is being kept under control, too.  As far as inoperability, there are some metastatic cancers that are operable--the risks and benefits must be weighed against the probability and tolerability of other treatments that have the same chance at being effective. There are also options with radiation.  There really are countless options out there for your mother in law's treatment. 

    What can you do?  That's a tough question because we all seem to have our own particular preferences as to what we find helpful. Some of us like to have someone go to all our appointments with us, take notes, and coordinate everything. Some of us like someone to come in and do the laundry, clean up, and cook. Some of us like someone to talk to...Don't forget to ASK what your mom in law wants from you! Let her know that she can count on you and it's ok to ask for help when she needs it!

    Please check for a thread entitled "JESHELTON" over on the RECURRENCE AND METASTATIC DISEASE section of the boards. I'm sure you will get lots of helpful responses! I am so sorry that you have found the need for us here, but glad you came. There are lots of wonderful, kind, and supportive people here to laugh, cry, and help you through!

    (((HUGS)))
    Diane

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  • SoapMaker
    SoapMaker Member Posts: 157
    edited January 2009

    Thoughts and prayers being sent for your MIL. It breaks my heart to hear about any sister having a difficult time getting through treatment, to NED. As for what you can do...just give her lots of love and support. At this point, that is all that you can do. If she needs help around the house and you are able to do any of it, then maybe you can help that way. Driving her to appointments and visiting with her a while would be comforting. Fixing microwavable meals so that she does not have to cook, may help. Let her know that you will be there for her and that all she needs to do is call. Sending you both many blessings.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Where is the cureCry

    www.truefacesofbreastcancer.org

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  • badboob67
    badboob67 Member Posts: 2,780
    edited January 2009

    Jeshelton,

    Please check the post on RECURRENCE AND METASTATIC DISEASE, "JESHELTON". There have been some responses there for you. :o)

    (((HUGS)))
    Diane

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